Thanks Coach !!

This weekend my daughter’s basketball career came to an end.  She is a senior in high school, and her team was beaten in their first tournament game.  I knew that we’d have these “last” things during her senior year, but it was still very tough.

But, it was amazing as well.  You see this year was different than most with basketball.  My daughter is phenomenal.  If you remember nothing else from this post, you need to remember that.  Two days before tryouts, her coach asked to talk to her before practice started.  The coach told my daughter she needed to make a choice.  She told her how much she cared for her, and that there was a place for her on the team, but she would never play.  This was devastating to say the least.

My daughter, like all kids, had worked for countless hours and years playing basketball.  She’s always been a great role player and never the star.  She knew that and so did the coach.  The coach told her that she’d like to offer my daughter another option for her Senior year – to be an Assistant Coach.  My daughter balked because she thought that was another word for “manager.”  She was hurt and didn’t know what to do.  The coach asked her to think about it overnight, talk to her parents about it as well as other girls on the team to get input.

That night I received a call from the coach asking me how my daughter was doing.  I told her that she was hurt, confused, and there were a lot of tears.  The coach asked me if my daughter told me about their conversation, and I said she had.  She told me how much she cared for Mel and our family being involved with the program.  I told the coach that I absolutely understood her position and that I appreciated her being up front with my daughter.

Then, the amazing part happened.  I said, “Coach, you’re running a team and you need to put the best team out there. I deal with this every day in HR and I understand that you’re doing what you can to succeed and I support that.”  The coach said, “That’s why we chose Mel to be an Asst. Coach because I knew you and Debbie would understand.”  I told the coach, “Thanks (many tears).  You see, my job is to raise an adult, not a basketball player.”  The coach said, “You’re doing a great job because she’s a great kid !!”

So, my daughter was Coach Mel this year.  She helped in many ways and was more included in things than she ever was as a player.  A few weeks ago, my wife and I escorted her across the court during Senior Night along with all the Senior players.  My daughter showed her strength as a team player and a leader as a coach.  We couldn’t be more proud.

Mel’s coach did something that we in the HR and business world need to do more of: (1) Care for our employees, (2) Recognize their strengths, (3) Be candid about their role and how they can best contribute and (4) Allow them to do that and flourish !!

I really appreciate that Mel’s coach took the time to keep her indcluded and create this role for her this year.  She has been, and will continue to be, an incredible part of our daughter’s life.  She has left a permanent mark of a positive role model.  She’s imprinted our family’s lives as well along with the other girls and families in the program.

So, even though the season ended this weekend, her actions will last forever !!