‘Positive’ Articles at Everyday People

Is vs. Has

As I mentioned last week, my travels have filled my quiver with new stories and experiences. I would encourage you when you have the opportunity to attend events to make sure you do this as well. It never made sense to me that people would go to events to get credit hours to ensure they kept their letters behind their names. I know it’s important and I turn my hours in too, but it’s the last reason I go to anything.

It brings me to this week’s story. I was fortunate to meet and connect with the wonderful and talented, Rachel Druckenmiller !! I knew she was a fellow speaker at the conference, but I wanted to get to know her as a fellow human. (This is another thing I do at conferences. Treat speakers like approachable humans and get to know them.)

We hit it off and jumped into conversations as if we had been friends for years. I loved hearing about her family and getting to know all about her. Taking the time to hang out made it even more meaningful when I saw her take the stage to open day two as a keynote. I loved her people-centric message and approach. She had tons of relevant content that was instantly applicable to every person at their company.

One point she brought up was how all of us tend to view others in the workplace. We, unfortunately, overlook the amazing people around us and get sucked into the vortex of those who are challenging. If you don’t think that’s true, step back and listen to the conversations happening in the halls. I guarantee you that the talk is negative and focused on how people disappoint us. I think we secretly enjoy talking about people this way because we then feel we have value when we address and “fix” this.

It’s not healthy and it’s misaligned. I was agreeing with Rachel when she dropped a bomb to switch this approach altogether. She said, “Too often we say the person is the problem when it may be that the person has a problem.”

Look at that sentence again !! Changing one word from “is” to “has” completely reframes everything. Imagine how HR and the workplace would look if we had a “has” mentality in working with others. I believe it would radically transform you personally and would assuredly transform your workplace.

Yes, people can be challenging. With this, we need to remember that we are people too !! I would want others to see if I was facing a problem or working through some facet of life instead of having people label me and talk about me negatively. I’m sure you would as well.

I find talking about people as if they’re the problem is exhausting and never-ending. This must change. If we want to foster, develop and sustain a people-first culture, then we have to come at our work from a positive perspective. This week adopt a “has” approach and drop the “is” approach. Trust me, you’ll see immediate results and begin to understand you have always been surrounded by amazing humans.

This HAS to occur !!

All You Need Is . . .

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m exhausted. It’s not physical exhaustion. It’s that I’m emotionally and mentally drained. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel that I’m alone in feeling this.

I know there are a multitude of factors that play into this, but the main one is the constant message bombardment of fear, negativity, and inflammatory stories I see from the “news” regardless of the outlet. It seems that we continue to put out information that is meant to put us on edge and evoke some overly charged response of disdain or disbelief. Add on top of this that once something is posted, shared or released, then the wave of comments starts hitting the shore. People reply in snippets of raw emotion and rarely seek, or ask for, context. It is far easier to launch a volley. And, I think people long for a returned volley so the comments can spiral into a deeper and deeper hole of disparagement.

Ironically, it’s come to the point that when people choose to post something positive, people launch on that as well. They claim that people are faking their lives and only showing good things. Pause. Reread that sentence. We’re pissed that someone has something positive to share.

I understand that the world is filled with horrific things. I’m not naive to think that these things can’t be shared or unearthed. When things get overlooked or buried, the terrible actions and/or behaviors continue. I just think that we can change the approach and method of how we communicate with each other – including the tough things.

(Random side thought – My head is already wondering if people are just sitting there waiting to counter each word of this post. That saddens me to even have that thought. Back to the post . . .)

I believe in people. I believe in those who share my views, likes and opinions just as I do with those who don’t share them. Do I struggle with people? Yes. Just as sure as I think others struggle with me. We’re human and we live in a broken world. Even in the midst of that, I believe most people are good. I really do.

Just having that posture makes people scoff and throw up skepticism. We share experiences of how someone hurt another person. I’m sure each of those experiences are valid and personal. I’ve been hurt. I’ve had people hurt others in my immediate family. I’ve experienced loss of family and dear friends throughout my lifetime.

I don’t view life as a mass of either/or situations where I’m forced to land on one side or another. I’m an if/then person and in every circumstance in my life I choose to say that “if” such and such happens, “then” I choose to respond as positively as possible – even in the most difficult of incidents. You may think that’s unrealistic, but it’s something I hold on to.

We live in a time when people don’t feel they have anyone who believes in them. It fills conversations at work, on social media platforms and in public forums. I understand that it’s not feasible to reach everyone and close this gap. However, for those I’m fortunate enough to have in my life, I can act and lift them up.

I have faith that this small action will make a difference – even for a moment. I want to see the tone of conversations change to become a rich dialogue where people are heard and valued regardless of their perspective. If they are struggling with an issue in life or society, they know they have someone who is there for them to listen – not to solve or jump to conclusions. I don’t want them to feel invisible, unheard or ignored. I want to be someone at work, in HR, online, and in-person who is willing to challenge the norm and change the narrative. I want to show that there are amazing, positive and uplifting things happening all the time around us. It’s not all awful. In fact, it’s far from it.

It’s ironic to me that we set one day aside each calendar year to “celebrate” love on Valentine’s Day. I would rather suggest that love become our norm every day. I know it’s easy to think it can’t be this simple, but you need to start somewhere. For you see, all you need is . . .

Keep Smiling !!

Quick set of questions. Do you know any children? Do you have children of your own? Have you ever been a child yourself?

This may seem silly, but I think we forget. We’re so busy being adults that we lose the sight of what it was like to be a kid. This past week, one of my co-workers showed me a video of his daughter at gymnastics practice. She did seven back handsprings in a row which is incredible by itself !! She needed to do at least seven in order to qualify to compete at her level. She was geeked after she hit this milestone for the first time. She went over to her Mom and, “I don’t think I can stop smiling !!”

Wow !! Think of how she’s approaching success. She had to practice for literally years to do seven handsprings in a row. I’m sure there were many disappointments along the way, and maybe even a feeling of quitting and giving up. However, she kept pushing forward and accomplished her goal. The other great thing about this story is that her accomplishment was to open other doors for her to reach even greater heights.

The entire time I spent to listen to this story and watch this video was five minutes. I thought it was amazing that he’d share this success story with me. It mattered to him to have me share this experience.

I’d bet that if I came to your corner of HR and listened to you, your sentence would be “I don’t think I can stop . . .” and then words would be filled in like “being frustrated”, “banging my head against the wall”, “avoiding negative people”, etc. I know this is generalizing, but we tend to come to work every day with our focus on what’s going to go wrong. We aren’t like kids who look at each opportunity as something fresh and new. The reality of work (or at least how we view it) has sapped us of being willing to see what we do as a child would.

What happened to us ?? Why do we see being “childlike” as a weakness ?? When we were kids we couldn’t help but look at things with wonder, awe and curiosity. I think that these attributes are essential to being a positive person and they are critical if you want to excel in HR !!

So, I have a simple exercise that you need to try. It will cost you absolutely nothing, but it will reshape everything. Smile !!

You may think that is inane and a waste of time. You have more important things to do that are much more effective when it comes to HR tools. I beg to differ. This is why . . .

If you smile at someone, they either will reciprocate (naturally), or they’ll avoid eye contact. When someone avoids my smile, I see it as a challenge worth taking on. I don’t confront them, I just wait for the next time I see them and give them a smile again. The difference between smiling because you were told to is smiling because you can’t help it !! When you meet people with your smile first, you’re setting the tone for the conversation.

I truly want others in HR to enjoy the field intentionally and all the time. This isn’t some parlor trick, but it is a call for you to bring out your inner child and let it shine. The next time I see you be warned. A smile’s coming because “I don’t think I can stop smiling !!”

P.S. – the picture is my smile just so I get a jump on things !!

Time to Reignite !!

Many people are trying to shake the winter doldrums in the hope that spring will renew them. This happens every year and is very predictable behavior. Instead of enjoying the season we’re in, we keep looking forward to a rebirth in the next season to come. Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying the thaw that is finally upon us and am glad to see the snow start to dissipate.

I think many HR pros look at their career with the same anticipation they have with the changing of the seasons. There seems to be a push that ANYTHING would be better than the situation they currently find themselves facing. There is also a feeling of professional isolationism because they feel that no one is experiencing the levels of disgust, frustration and angst that they are. When I hear stories of despair I get concerned. I’m concerned because if that is how you are approaching your role, it will reflect in your performance and with the employees that work alongside you.

There are seemingly countless stories and sentiments of HR pros who are just flat burnt out. They can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, all they see is the tunnel and it keeps getting deeper and darker. This isn’t healthy in any way whatsoever. Why would you continue to go back to a difficult HR environment just to be a martyr everyday?

It’s time for HR practitioners to come to terms with a reality in our careers. There is only one person who’s responsible for how Human Resources is in your role and that’s YOU !! Your career may be influenced by others around you, but in the end, you are the only person who can impact who you are and what you do.

Has the fire gone out for you? Or, has the fire consumed you and eaten away at what you think HR should be in your company?

Take a different approach intentionally and reignite the fire of passion around Human Resources !! Everyday you have the opportunity to make a positive difference in the people around you and also add value to the growth and success of your company. You can, and must, be the model of making this happen in your culture. Believe me when I say that this isn’t a pep talk to motivate you. Motivation is internal and you alone can build that energy up. You could spice in a great rock tune, say something from AC/DC, to get you jacked up, but this isn’t a peak and valley approach. Once your passion is reignited, you need to fan the flame so that others around you start catching this fire.

I’ve recently been talking with some friends who either just changed HR roles, or want to. In every case they expressed that they want an HR role where they can flourish and make a difference in what they do. This needs to be the expectation of everyone in HR !! The conversations I had weren’t somber or melancholy. They were a chance to share some encouragement and give them a nudge to no longer settle for mediocrity in what they do. The companies they work(ed) for didn’t view HR in a positive, integrated and broad way. That’s fine if companies want to limit HR – but YOU don’t have to be a part of that !!

People wonder if my level of passion and excitement is some shtick for some on-line persona. You can trust me, it’s not. It took me several years to understand that HR can be on fire all the time. It also took some searching to find a role and a company that was as passionate and excited about what they did so that this ignited form of HR could grow and exist.

So, if you’re burnt out – rekindle !! If you’re an ember that’s just barely holding on and smoldering – add fuel and energy !! If you’re in a role where HR cannot be exciting and passionate, then maybe it’s time to find a place that let’s you rock it out !! Reignite yourself and radiate great HR in all that you say and do !! It’s really the only way to practice.

HR is as HR does !!

Over the weekend I was channel surfing (because I don’t have Netflix – no one pass out) to see if something would pop up, and I came upon one of my all-time favorite films, Forrest Gump. I stopped at the point in the film when Forrest is in Vietnam and he runs back into the jungle many times to save his best buddy Bubba, and ends up saving many of the men in his platoon. My skeptical 17 year-old son wanted to me to change the channel, but I asked to let me see just this one scene. He was hooked and we ended up watching the rest of the movie.

I love the movie because Forrest has such a fresh outlook on life and it made me think that we could take many lessons from the film as we practice HR.

When I’m around most of my HR friends, I hear them bemoan how difficult EVERYONE is to deal with – when it’s actually only a few people. I also hear people try to one up others with tales of employee misconduct. The stories that are more shocking and/or vulgar seem to gather crowds !!

I don’t think living in an environment of constant truth or dare scenarios helps us personally or professionally. If we only see the bad things around us, or the flaws and negative characteristics of others, how can we ever hope to move an organization forward? It’s no wonder people cast a negative light on HR when all they hear are HR horror stories.

What if we saw life as Forrest did? Sure, the movie is filled with a character who “happens” to experience almost every single major historical event in the U,S, personally, but it’s a movie. If you notice, Forrest isn’t swayed by his good fortune, his fame, or his run ins with Presidents or other famous people. He takes it in stride. This is also true when the dips in life hit him and he experiences loss of his mother and his beloved Jenny.

We come across opportunities every day to interact with great people. What’s our mindset when we’re about to meet with them? Are we burdened by it? Do we think the worst is sure to happen even before we talk to anyone? Do we jump to extremes and make broad-based decisions, policies and procedures because the interaction we just had should become the law of the land for all people going forward (even though it was an exception to how work usually goes)?

Forrest is unflappable. The only time he struggled with his situation was when Jenny introduces him to his son and Forrest worries if his son is smart or not. I think that he would have loved him either way, but it was obvious he didn’t want his son to face the same challenges he did in how people saw him as stupid – or less than others who were “normal.” He always responded “Stupid is as stupid does.”

Think about it becoming HR is as HR does. Forrest always let his actions show his intent and genuine approach toward life. We should do the same. HR’s behavior needs to be unflappable and able to not only take life in stride, but enjoy it because we never know what the next step will be.

Forrest thought his life turned out exactly like it should have. It was filled with extraordinary adventures which he thought were just normal situations. He wasn’t fazed. It’s a fabulous approach each day and something I’d encourage each of you to try !! Every person we meet may be an incredible adventure just waiting to happen. Don’t miss it !!

“And that’s all I have to say about that.”

Sorry, We’re Closed !!

This weekend, my son took a giant step of leadership and initiative !! He began work on his Eagle Scout project. He started building a shed to replace a POD for the Animal Friends Humane Society who currently has to pay to have the POD for food storage for the animals. The project is massive, but he is more than able to take it on. Have to say the “proud father” tears often swell to the surface when I think about how amazing he is !!

One of the keys in doing a project like this is that you get first-hand experience on when things go well . . . and when they don’t.

Josh had ordered the shed from one of those big box hardware stores and everything was scheduled to be delivered on site (a mile from the store) the Friday before his first workday on Saturday. We stopped by the store on Friday night just to make sure that everything was ready. The shipping supervisor looked a bit confused and dumbfounded when Josh asked about the delivery. It looked like it was “supposed” to have happened, but another employee hadn’t entered the firm delivery in the computer, so it didn’t exist.

Another key to an Eagle Scout project is to adapt.

Josh asked if we could compromise and get a rental truck and get some of the material to make the shed’s base and floor for the next day because people were scheduled to come and help. The store agreed and waived the rental fee for the truck and apologized for the mistake and confirmed that they could deliver the remainder of the materials on Sunday. Josh added an extra work day, but still moved forward.

On Saturday morning, we arrived to get the rental truck and pick up the material for the floor. We were directed over to the lumber yard, and we were the first customers for the day. A young man in a Security shirt came out of the guard shack and the following happened.

Guard: May I help you?

Steve: We were told to come back to the lumber yard to get material.

Guard: Sorry, we’re closed.

Steve: What ?! (confused and frustrated from the original delivery being mixed up) They told us to come back here.

Guard: Sorry, they must have told you the wrong information. We’re closed.

Steve: But we need to get the lumber. You don’t understand, we have people . . .

Guard: It’s okay. I’m just messing with you. We’re open. Come on in. Can I help you get to where you need to go?

We busted out laughing !! The young man saw that we were in a hurry and had to “get things done.” He noticed we were missing out on starting the day getting some material to do some project. We weren’t there to enjoy the experience and he was supposed to just do his job.

The thing is – he was doing his job better than anyone could have imagined !! He chose to take a rather mundane job (checking people in and out of a lumber yard ALL DAY) and make it enjoyable. I loved his creativity and told him that I appreciated his approach.

I’m sure if typical supervisors had seen this interaction, the guard would have been coached if not disciplined or terminated. We want people to WORK and be productive. We have spent years beating the passion out of people, and yet we expect them to bring the workplace to life through their jobs.

I had to come back later Saturday morning, because you always have at least 3 return trips to hardware stores during a project, and I saw the guard again. I couldn’t resist, so I said, “I see you’re open now !!” He didn’t miss a beat, “Yeah, you just caught us because we were closed ten minutes ago.”

HR needs to take note to give employees permission to love what they do and who they interact with. Work would be a better place if we looked at how to make people smile in what we do regardless of our role.

That young man made our day !! I’m sure glad he was “closed” !!

The Campaign for HR !!

We’re getting closer and closer to another election season. Even though this is a “light” year for elections locally, that doesn’t stop the candidates who are running for office from filling the airwaves with commercials. And, true to form, there are few candidates who say what they’re going to do. Instead, they spend millions of dollars to smear their opponent. People must feel it works because it gets worse the closer you are to the actual election day.

To me it seems similar to what I see from other bloggers in the “space” when they write about Human Resources. People feel that if they continue to tear down HR, it will somehow get better. I don’t follow the numbers and metrics of posts, including my own, but negativity must sell. When I see posts that focus on division and separatism I get concerned. Why would people want to work in a field that only wallows in things that are wrong?

I had toyed with the idea of seeking political office in the past and I determined back then that if I would ever run, I would only be positive. I think people should make choices on what you can bring and not focus on one and another’s faults. Therefore, I am launching a campaign in support of HR !!

When is comes to HR, I am literally ALL in !! It’s been my career of choice and I try to be active and visible through volunteer work, social media and speaking at events. I only see HR growing and becoming more and more relevant in my organization and in many organizations across the globe. There are creative and innovative people who are changing their approaches and their cultures to have workplaces where people can perform their best and move their organizations forward.

Here are the planks of my platform to share to make this campaign come to life !!

Be Others Focused

We are in the one profession that is built with a focus on other people. Think of what a great opportunity that is !! Seriously, you have a chance to work with people on purpose. It’s built into your job and it needs to be the base of your thinking and approach every day.

Be Certified

I refuse to continue to argue on one certification versus another. Certification should be our ticket to moving ourselves, and the field, ahead. The key to being certified is more than passing a test. Having a professional certification gives you credibility and gives you the base on which to be a continuous learner and seek professional development. We need to know HR to practice HR. Take the time to get your letters and then build on your education from there going forward.

Be Connected

HR on its own is career suicide. You will struggle if you aren’t connected to great people, great resources and great events. Every time I read something, I look to learn from the author and their perspective. When I find resources that help me do HR better, I share them with others. Most importantly, when I go to events, I make sure to meet others to build my network in order to connect others. We’re only better when we’re together as a profession.

So, can I count on your support ?? Will you join me in moving HR forward in a positive way ?? I would love to have you join in and stem the tide of negativity. I know we can do it and am geeked to see what happens !!

I’m Steve Browne, candidate for the Campaign for HR, and I support this message !!

What’s Your Sentence ??

As I write, I’m recovering from the Ohio SHRM State Conference. It was another incredible event full of learning, fun, laughter and engaged HR pros. Everyone there found something that they could use as a takeaway to improve their role back at the workplace.

Personally I was geeked to be able to give a presentation myself !! It is always a highlight for me when I get to speak to my peers. I also enjoyed participating in a Town Hall to update folks about the new SHRM Certification with Nancy Conway from SHRM.

I enjoy going to events like this because I seek out sessions that will stretch me and how I look at what I do. I want to hear new thoughts and approaches to see how I can approach HR in my organization in a fresh and relevant way. I was encouraged that the entire conference would have sessions like this when Bill Taylor opened as the conference’s first keynote. Taylor is the author of “Practically Radical” and I was intrigued as he shared real world stories from today’s companies that are differentiating themselves.

He also shared a story when John F. Kennedy was President and a noted female Republican member of Congress met with the young leader. She confronted the President and questioned his scattered approach to his job. She told him that he needed to be someone who would be remembered by what he did in one sentence.

Kennedy took that advice to heart and Taylor challenged the conference attendees to reflect on this advice as well. He asked what your sentence is for HR? What is the sentence for your company and what is your sentence for you?

I think it’s something that calls for you to set up your legacy, but I’d like to challenge you to make it your present approach to HR !! Think about it. You don’t have a legacy until after you’re finished. To get to that level of being positively remembered, your actions have to start now.

I think it starts by reflecting to see if how you’re practicing is genuine or manufactured. Are you putting on a facade which is fraught with stereotypes of HR and the myths of what others say about us? Are you putting on this shield over your clothes because you feel that’s how you are “supposed” to act?

You can’t expect others to be genuine if you aren’t willing to be genuine yourself. The fact is that if you’re genuine, you will be more attractive to the people around you. I’m not talking about your physical appearance. Genuine people are a draw and attract others. If you attract others, you can establish a relationship with them. If you have a relationship, you can talk about anything and influence the behavior and performance of others.

To get this going, I want to share with you my sentence. I hope that it comes true. I need to establish this in order to make it come to life. Here it is . . .

” I want to make a difference in people’s lives every single day.”

Not sure what that difference will be. Not sure that I’ll even get to see it. However, it’s what I can do that matters. It can shape my attitude, my behavior and my approach. It will keep me grounded and mindful that my actions affect others.

I’m glad I went to OHSHRM just for this. Trust me, there was much more that I learned, but this will serve as a cornerstone for how I practice HR from now on. I have my sentence. Now you have to ask yourself – what’s yours ??

1st Time Handshake . . .

This past week I was fortunate to be the emcee for the second DisruptHR in Cincinnati !! We had another great time and the presentations were unique, diverse and thought provoking. The venue of Memorial Hall also added to the ambiance of the night. The true highlight for me was seeing many familiar faces as well as a large number of new people.

It’s fascinating to me to see how people greet each other at HR events. People look for people that they know first if they didn’t already come with someone they know. If they don’t know people, they head to either a corner or the bar to get a view of the room and scope out how they’re going to maneuver around people before figuring a way to get to their seat with the fewest interactions possible.

If someone does introduce themselves they tend to keep a clear distance and reach for a business card as a force field to get the niceties out of the way. There may be some small talk exchanged asking where someone works, why did they come to the event and what do they expect. More often than not, the room is filled with more people you don’t know than it is people you do know.

I’m not trying to make fun, it’s just what I see. I’m an extreme extrovert, and I know that isn’t common. I thrive in a room full of people. I can’t wait to meet as many people as I can. I don’t want to just meet them, I want to get to know them. In order to not have this be overwhelming, I’ve developed the following approach.

1st time handshake. 2nd time hug !!

Okay, the hugging part may be overwhelming, but it’s necessary. I mean it !! People need to be hugged especially if they work in HR. You’ve heard me say that working with people is challenging. That is nothing new, but a genuine support system for HR is !! HR people tend to want to move on their own and have bought into the myth that they shouldn’t be close to anyone.

Being isolated in our field is senseless and harmful. It’s harmful because if you think you can foster engagement in employees, but you aren’t connected to other people on purpose youself, then you’re just trying to make something come to life you don’t believe in. We need to care for each other and be up front about it.

I remember a few years ago, Joe Gerstandt came to speak at Ohio SHRM and I was the program chair. We had never met in person at that time, only through social media. When I saw him far across the room, I squealed and ran over to him and gave him a giant bear hug. (I skipped my 1st time rule.) Joe pulled back a bit from me and said, “I guess brothers hug.” Love that !!

Ironically, other HR people there chastized me for being loud and too excited. You see, we want order and decorum in a world that is calling for empathy and compassion. I choose hugs and will not shy away from it. I’ve had too many people melt in an embrace because it hit them just at the right time.

This week, Ohio SHRM is happening once again and I will be giving out hugs as much as possible !! To say I’m Geeked would be an understatement. I will love seeing friends and meeting new ones.

If I see you there (or at other great HR and SHRM events), choose. I’m good with a hug right off the bat. You need to know someone cares about you and that you are in HR. I’ll be looking for you !!

Culture of Awesome !!

There are countless numbers of blogs and articles regarding culture. I’m absolutely in that mix because I feel that culture is the most critical factor of today’s workplace. The challenge I see though is that people continue to offer models of what will absolutely work for you. I think this is an incredible presumption !! I can’t come close to understanding what your company culture is or isn’t.

There are a few assumptions I can make that will be accurate:

Your company has people that work there.
All the people you have are different and unique.
No one agrees on having the same culture.

In our constant pursuit for the silver bullet for all things HR, we tend to get frustrated because we can’t make everything “the same.” I’d like to suggest one component regarding company culture that you can control, but you overlook. That cultural component is . . . YOU !!

In organizations, we talk about others and how THEY need to improve their behavior. In fact, the majority of our time in Human Resources is dealing with the behaviors of other employees. After a while we get desensitized to thinking about how we affect the behaviors of others because we are always trying to address and “fix” people. That approach is exhausting isn’t it?

A friend sent me this picture with the message, “I thought of you the moment I saw this.” I am smiling even as I type this blog because I get Geeked everytime I see it !! What makes it an amazing picture is that the advice is not to start with others, it’s for yourself first. Behavior is most affected by what you model and not what you dictate.

If each and every day started this way for you, how would your day go? Imagine that this framed your behavior as you pulled up to work, got out of your car, and as your hand hit the handle of the door to enter your building – it was on !! I understand that this could be tough to pull off for some people even one day a week. I just believe that HR has the ability to set the tone of the culture where they work. If you came in to set up a Culture of Awesome – you would set the world on its ear. People would look at you, and at HR, differently. There may be some skeptics to start, but you’ll see that it will become a norm for the environment around you.

Tomorrow, or when you read this, start with Rule 1, move to Rule 2 and see how you start working better with everyone around you as you incorporate Rule 3 !! I think you’ll agree that it’s AWESOME !!