‘People’ Articles at Everyday People

I Wonder . . .

This weekend my wife and I celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary !! It’s an incredible blessing to have her in my life for all of these years and we look forward to many, many more. My wife has been willing to tag along with me throughout our time together because I have this insatiable need to surround myself with people. You need to understand that this stretches her past her comfort zone on a regular basis. However, she knows that it comes with being tethered to me.

Not only do I enjoy being around others, I like observing how they interact. You can catch snippets of conversations, and I wonder what the rest of their stories are. I am truly intrigued. It’s a genuine interest because I feel there are countless experiences that would be shared. You could learn so much more than you know about how people live, what they believe, how they view the world, and more.

Just this weekend, Debbie and I went to the wedding of a family friend, and the room was filled with a handful of people we knew. The majority of those attending though were strangers. It didn’t inhibit the celebration because the people were tied in some way to either the bride or the groom. While we were at the ceremony taking place in a beautiful center in an expansive park, the park’s grounds were teeming with students taking pictures for homecoming. Another family paraded by decked out in their best apparel for a quinceañera with everyone smiling.

After the ceremony, people milled around for a happy hour and snacks. Dinner followed and the room filled with the noise and clatter of a myriad of conversations happening everywhere. Our table was no different. As I was engaged with the familiar friends in our assigned seats, I tried to capture what was happening around me. I wondered what was being shared.

You see, I believe in people and feel every single person has something to offer. I’m sure of it. I don’t feel there are those who are boring or not worth my time. And, when you stop and think about it, there are far more people you don’t know versus those that you do. Our circle of humans is not as vast as we think. We all have a capacity of how many relationships we can manage and interact with and that’s normal. It’s not possible to know everyone. However, the world is filled with people I’m eager to meet.

We have an opportunity to expand our reach to those we know by making sure that those we work with are not isolated or untethered. They can be assured they’re connected to you as at least one person in that environment. At the same time, when you have chance encounters with new people, pause and take time to chat. Make the time to see who they are. Be an unexpected connection. You never know where it will lead.

I plan to continue to observe people and connect when I can. There are so many humans to meet. It will be fascinating to see what happens. I wonder . . .

A Bag of Apples

I’m a greeter. Always have been since I can remember. I grew up in a small town in Ohio where I saw my mom and dad greet every person by name. When I’d go to school or walk uptown, I would greet almost everyone because that’s what you did. If anyone ever drove by, you’d give them a wave whether you knew them or not.

Heading to college, I made sure to dive in to meet my classmates in my dorm and most of my classes if they were willing to let me. When I was a college senior, my friends hated walking to and from class with me because it would take extra time since I’d say “Hi !!” to everyone including their name. Entering the world of work, I tried to incorporate this practice but found that people became more resistant to this. There was this sense that you greeted people IF you had business to do with each other or to be polite. This led to the pit of casually greeting people without really meaning it.

I struggled because I didn’t see the point of the drive-by greeting. It was, and still is, vapid and insincere. I could tell people were thinking of other things that were “far more important” than greeting one another. For a while, I was a bit forlorn of the work and adult world being so comfortable with being impersonal. Only for a while. I decided after about a month in my first job to be intentional about greeting once again and I haven’t stopped since – 37+ years later.

In fact, I doubled down on this habit. I did all I could to meet folks, remember their name, and then make sure to touch base with them every time our paths crossed at work. I wasn’t quite fulfilled so I started volunteering at the Cincinnati Zoo with a group of wonderful humans called the Young Friends of the Zoo. I stepped up to be the chair of the group’s primary fundraiser at my first meeting with one catch. I wanted to give an announcement at each meeting about our efforts and then meet everyone who attended. I met my future wife at this group who, by the way, thought it was annoying that I wanted to meet everyone. She would avoid me on purpose, but I wore her down and I’m grateful I did !!

I took my greeting mission to the HR Roundtable I began facilitating 23 years ago. I would stand outside to greet each person who chose to attend get to know them, and thank them for making the time. This transferred to the HR chapter when I started going there and stepped into leadership. I continue to expand my greeting initiative whenever I go to HR conferences locally, regionally, at State events, and of course at the massive Annual Conference.

I’ve also been greeting at my church over this same time because my bucket is never filled. There’s always a new face to meet. What’s intriguing is to see people’s reactions when they know they’re truly noticed and acknowledged and that someone is geeked to see them. It’s a joy to make a genuine connection. You don’t know how it lands with those I greet, but that doesn’t deter me.

Then, there’s this weekend. There’s a girl at my church who I’ve known since she was very young and now she’s nearing middle school. Her name is Avalee and she is always bashful and shy when she comes to the door. I make sure she especially gets a greeting !! She’s intelligent, a burgeoning swimmer, and has a big heart. She came up to the door and handed me a brown lunch bag that was ornately decorated and bursting at the seams.

“What’s this?” I asked. “We went to an apple orchard yesterday, and I picked these for you,” she replied. I was speechless. I thanked her as she went past me with her ever-present Mom and Grandmother. I was floored by her simple gesture. I was making sure her family was cordially greeted, and she broke through with an unexpected return.

It’s that simple.

We are surrounded by a sea of humanity each and every day. If I had to guess, we either feel people are in the way of the task we have our mind set on or we feel that greeting each other is a polite nuisance. How sad is that?

I know I’m wired this way and I’m not expecting others to mimic my overt sense of wanting to meet every person possible. However, you can slow down and understand that the people around you are there for a reason. Your simple greeting could lead to a loving gesture. It may leave a lasting impression or be one spark of light that is needed to break through just at the right time. Wouldn’t that make the world a better place? I know it would and I hope you give it a try !!

Choose If/Then

One of my favorite activities around the house is to mow my lawn. I mean it. I enjoy it because it takes between 2 to 3 hours to do it. I’m a bit old fashioned in that I walk to mow. It’s incredible excercise which allows me to let my thoughts wander and have a good think.

As I was dripping with sweat this weekend taking my weekly lawn mowing jaunt, I was pieceing together something that has been troubling me lately with how people are choosing to interact in person, on line and through the media. More and more it seems that we are becoming an “either/or” society. Every situation and every issue tries to be dissected into two sides. The sentiment that is prevailing is that I either need to believe in what you believe, or I am adamantly against you.

It doesn’t help that we get snippets of information, or opinion, and we call that “news.” News that infuriates most and raises the temperature with every story that is shared. In looking at this, it shocks me how we take these tidbits of information and form full fledged approaches to our daily living. We have become so self-consumed and self-focused that anything happening around is also is either for us or against us.

I have never been comfortable with being presented with only two choices in life. To think that the amazing, complex, intricate and ever-changing world we live in can be simplified into such concrete black and white terms seems constricting and narrow. Truth be told, I think people want an “either/or” pattern in life because we don’t like variability. Each day we think our existence is to trod to work to fix everything because it’s ALL broken. (That’s not true, but we like to think it is because that’s how we find purpose in our work. That’s for another post some day.)

People also want to be “right” and have some sense of control. Uncertainity gives us the shakes and we want things defined. Change is our enemy even though change occurs whether we want it to or not. I’d like to offer a different approach to implement when it comes to facing each day.

Choose an “if/then” approach.

If you remember geometry, you had to figure out mathematical proofs using if/then statements. What this did was take the situation/circumstance/fact you start with and say, “If this . . . then that.” The then statement would give you options to consider. This method gives you the opportunity to take an objective look at things as they come forward.

A few weeks ago, my wife Debbie and I went on an Art Walk in Elk Rapids, Michigan. It was a meandering trail through a local park where artists had created and displayed their work. You had a flyer which led you from piece to piece and it was very cool and relaxing to see. The canopy of the trees provided a break from the heat and you could hear the rustling of leaves, the chatter of squirrels and the various calls of birds. It was a true escape. One of the sculptures we saw was called “Peace Signs” by Scott Froschauer and it captured my attention both because of the message as well as the if/then thinking. I was grateful to have a break from my normal overly full life to take this hike and discover a message that rang true with me. Normally, I would be consumed with the day-to-day pull for my energy and attention and may have missed this literal signpost which caused me to pause.

This coming week what would happen if you adopted some if/then approaches to all you do both at work and at home? Here are some I’ve been trying:

✦ If I take time to talk to my neighbors more intentionally, then we may have a true neighborhood.

✦ If I make sure to interact with my peers at work all the time, then we would communicate better and not just meet because of “issues.”

✦ If I choose to listen to those who disagree with me, then I may learn a new perspective to consider.

✦ If I encourage others on purpose, then they may have a better day then they were expecting.

The opportunities are endless. The key to an if/then approach is that it focuses on action and movement. I choose to do this so I can be positive regardless of the constant push of darkness, gloom and cynicism which keeps trying to swallow us all.

If you’ll take this new approach, then think of how each day you have will be better for you and those around you !! Peace.

Allow Grace

Have you ever made a mistake at work? Have you ever talked poorly about someone else you work with, or that you know, without that person knowing about it? Have you ever disappointed someone else because you didn’t follow through on what you said you’d do? Have you ever said something that you thought was harmless, but it hurt someone deeply?

The answer for me is a resounding “Yes” to all of the questions listed above. I’m not proud of that, but it’s a reality. I’m human. I’m sure to fall and fail others. Hopefully that’s not intentional, but it could be. I could have filled this entire post with more questions which feature how people fall short of positive and/or ideal behavior.

The challenge in today’s workplace, and in society overall, is that when we fail each other that there is no room for grace. We demand an instant response along with a staunch stance to be taken that has little room for a right/wrong position. We usually want others to hear our opinion and then we make arguments for others to come to our side. In the midst of this type of reaction, we completely run over our humanity.

Now, please understand that I’m talking about when someone makes a mistake and is insensitive or thoughtless about others and their feelings and/or diverse viewpoint. I’m not talking about overt actions and/or poor behavior. That is at a much deeper, and more concerning, level. Poor behavior should always be addressed. Even then though, I would offer that you can allow grace when entering into these difficult situations.

As HR professionals, we are daily in the midst of people. (At least I hope you are !!) People are messy and will fail each other. It’s unavoidable. When it occurs we have a choice. We can either rely on a system of unrealistic policies and procedures as a list of do’s/don’ts as our response, or we can be humans ourselves.

I would recommend that you try a new approach and allow grace to occur.

This may be foreign to you, and I can almost guarantee that it’s foreign to how employees have been approached in the past. We don’t feel that we have the latitude in our roles to show grace to others when they mess up. I just don’t think it’s true. We have more latitude and ownership in how we approach others because it’s our own personal style.

I know that when others have shown me grace when I’ve stumbled, I’ve been thankful. It allowed both of us to breathe, calm down and look at the situation in a fresh and open way. More often than not, it led to a productive outcome and a stronger relationship. Trust me when I say that allowing grace in our interactions with others will be positive most of the time.

This week buck the trend of others who tend to be reactive and destructive when people fail them. Instead of talking ABOUT others, talk TO them with an attitude of grace first so that you seek to understand them, the situation they’re facing and how to potentially move forward. If you try this, I think you’ll see the people aren’t as bad as you think. Also, it will make HR, and your life, more balanced and fulfilled. It works.

You Never Know

I’m still recovering from SHRM18. There were so many memorable experiences that it’s hard to capture them all. I had the chance to see old friends, meet some folks who’ve I’ve only known through social media and also meet a ton of new people. If you haven’t gathered my focus yet, the SHRM Annual Conference, and any HR event for that matter, is about the people.

I was in a very unique position this year in that I spoke at two Mega Sessions during the conference. They’re called “mega” because the room you are in is usually vast. I mean it. Vast !! I scoped out the room for my first presentation the day before people arrived for the conference and it took my breath away. No one was even in the room yet. As the time arrived for me to speak, the room filled up. The entire room and there were folks outside the hall in an overflow section. I was geeked by the turnout and a bit anxious to be honest.

I don’t normally like to talk about when I present because I consider it an honor any time I get an opportunity to do it. There’s no greater thrill than to speak to my peers. That’s a fact.

After the first presentation, I was overwhelmed by the response. I couldn’t leave the room for many minutes. I was floored by the people who came up for a hug and some reassurance. There were many laughs and tears shared. I was surprised by how many people stated that they were considering leaving HR, but they were reinvigorated and said they’d stay in the field after I spoke. That is humbling beyond measure. You have no idea.

You never know how you’ll be received if you have the opportunity to speak at an event. I never take it for granted. I heard several people say they just were glad to hear something positive for a change about the work they did. It seems so simple, but it is unfortunately missing in our profession. Instead of lifting each other up, we spend more time criticizing and tearing down our circumstances and the people we work with. It still floors me that there are so many HR peers who spend so much time being discouraged.

The second day was even more overwhelming than the first. I spoke after the final keynote and it’s when many attendees head home. The next room was overflowing once again. It was hard to hold back tears just looking out over the crowd. Once I was finished, I had to do my best to get back to the SHRM Store to do the other surreal thing I get to do now – sign books. However, I needed to make sure to get back. As I was leaving, the most amazing encounter happened.

A young man asked to talk with me and he saw I was in a rush. He introduced himself as Usman from Pakistan and he just wanted a few moments of my time. I asked him to walk with me, and he was kind enough to oblige. He told me how exciting it was to hear about having HR be people-centric, and it’s something he wanted to see happen where he worked. He told me he was going to buy copies of my book for his entire staff. I was crushed by this. Others had done this (also amazing), but he was going to buy 38 copies and take them home to Pakistan from Chicago !!

He was kind enough to stand in line with others and I asked him to wait to be the last person because of so many purchases. He agreed and then he called a member of his team in Pakistan to get the names of his staff. She worked to get the names and asked for ten minutes to get him the names. It was 11:00pm at night where she was !! She sent a list and I sat with Usman and personalized each book.

Then . . .

We ran out of names and he had six copies remaining. He said that one was for him and the other five were for people that he was planning to hire in the future. They weren’t even on his team yet. He said that he wanted them to have the same positive message to work from as the people they would be joining.

You see, you never know . . .

This week make sure you encourage the people who come into your life at work, at home, at school or out in public. They long to be like the people I met. They want someone to believe in them and they want to belong. You can make that happen. You may be the one connection that makes a difference.

You never know !!

Something to Believe In !!

Do you remember the movie Bull Durham ?? It’s one of my all-time favorites. There’s a scene where Susan Sarandon meets with Tim Robbins (the talented pitching rookie) and Kevin Costner (the long-term minor league catcher), and she’s deciding who’ll she’ll be dating that season. Costner gets fed up being treated like he has to prove himself and stands to walk out. Sarandon challenges him and asks him what he believes in, and he gives one of the best answers ever captured in the movies. She responded almost breathlessly, “Oh my !!”

Costner’s character was ready to act on what he believed, and he held to it. I know it’s just a movie, but I appreciate the example. Belief in something greater than yourself is needed because it gives you direction and clarity. In today’s never ending stream of chaos, it seems that being someone who has beliefs isn’t popular.

Just using the word “belief” raises the defenses of others. This seems odd to me because having beliefs doesn’t mean that you are automatically contrary to others. I admire people who will be definitive and state what they believe in and stand by it. It doesn’t upset me or offend me that others have different beliefs than I do. In fact, I wouldn’t expect it to be otherwise because people are unique. Even if you picked one particular belief that two people “shared”, they would interpret it differently.

It also seems to me that people don’t want to talk and dialogue about having varying points of view. Instead, people want to scream their beliefs with the expectation that you support what they believe . . . or else. This saddens me. I value that people look at the world from different viewpoints and perspectives. I learn from others even if I don’t hold to what they believe. I don’t think that we should want everyone to be the same. All I’d like to see is that people respect differences. I think that if this occurred, then we’d have a chance to reach consensus on many things that would hopefully move us forward.

The reason I wanted to tackle this potentially volatile topic, is that I think it is a facet of what we do in HR. We work with people who come from drastically different backgrounds. Even when we think there may be similarities in people, they are far outweighed by the uniqueness that everyone brings to the workplace every day. Each of our employees has beliefs. They may, or may not, express them. But, you need to know they exist. It drives how they behave and how they perform.

We tend to shy away from asking about what our team members believe. I understand that because we’re not sure what we’ll hear. I think what’s key is not what you hear, but how you respond. I have found that when I take the time to listen to my team members I hear what they believe. Those thoughts and perspectives give me a better understanding of them as a human, and that’s the key.

I can’t lose sight that we’re in the business of humans. Ever.

So, this week, I want you to take the chance to understand that having beliefs is innately human. Then, I want to also challenge you to listen to what other’s believe in and not judge. You may not agree with them. Most likely you won’t. But, understanding humans is needed now more than ever.

Like I said in the beginning, I have beliefs. I believe that people want to do good more often than not. I believe in having faith and showing grace. I believe in encouragement and lifting others up consistently. I believe in creativity, laughter, enjoying tie-dye and all types of music. I’m defined by my beliefs . . . and you are defined by yours.

Hi There !!

I just had the pleasure of being the opening keynote speaker at SHRM Georgia yesterday and it was a blast !! Any time I can get in front of, and among, my peers is a pleasure. I mean it. When I get a chance to be with other HR folks I get more and more geeked !! Why ?? It’s because I get to surround myself with folks who are in the best profession in the world.

Some reading this may disagree, but I’d go up against you to defend HR. Yes, we have our challenges and there may be pot holes in how we practice, but that’s true in every industry.

What made this experience with my peers greater was that I was in a culture that I don’t get to see often. From the moment I arrived something very cool happened. Honestly, it’s something that I try to do myself, but I rarely am surrounded by others who do it.

What happened ??

Every person I’ve met said, “Hi there !!” or “Hello !!” Every. Single. Person.

I’ve heard of Southern hospitality, but I thought it was a cliche. It couldn’t be true across the board. I was wrong. I’m not kidding. I have been greeted by every person that I passed. Being someone who really enjoys this I felt I was in my element.

Now, 99% of the people I encountered had nothing to “do” with me and I had no direct business with them. And yet, they still made sure to make eye contact and say, “Hi !!” There was no segmentation of extrovert or introvert. Just humans making sure to acknowledge each other.

It made me wonder something from an HR/workplace perspective. I don’t see this happening. People don’t genuinely greet each other. We make sure to be pleasant and utter something as we quickly pass by each other to get to things we think that really matter like our desks, spreadsheets or e-mails. You know it’s true, and I’m unfortunately guilty of this as well.

We knowingly pass by the reason we even have work to get to stuff which didn’t even miss us. This has to change !! You’d think this would be simple, but it takes effort to alter our behavior and approach people differently.

I want to put a challenge out to every HR person. For the next 30 days when you see an employee I want you to say, “Hi there !!” with everyone you encounter. Don’t skip anyone. Don’t rush it. Be intentional and make eye contact to greet those around you.

Trust me. If you don’t already do this naturally, it will take practice. But, you can also be reassured that if you start making this your approach, you will see your workplace transform – for the better !!

Once you get good at this and you can consistently feel comfortable you need to implement the next step. This is a two-step challenge. Now, you need to get your department heads to do the same thing. They will think it’s silly and won’t matter, but you need to press forward.

When you do this, the culture will begin to shift right before your eyes. Something so simple will move an organization. You’ll see conversations start to occur face-to-face vs. being secretly held in hallways. You’ll find people being positive and looking forward to seeing each other. It’s amazing to experience.

So, start today. Quit avoiding people. Just say, “Hi there !!”

I Am Groot !!

I am an avowed HR Nerd. This is something I embrace and have since my high school days. Growing up I collected comic books (unfortunately my mother thought they took up “too much space” . . .) and I loved them. I couldn’t get enough of the action, the heroes, the villains and the stories. I’ve kept that hobby going with my son. He has a collection of comic books too, and we’ve been able to share something else – comic book movies !!

Whenever a Marvel or DC movie comes out, we are at the theater on opening night. This past summer we absolutely had to see Guardians of the Galaxy !! It was phenomenal from start to finish (and my amazing wife bought the DVD for my birthday). If you don’t even finish this post, you should make sure you see this movie !!

My favorite character by far is Groot. You’ve never seen anything like him because he’s like a giant tree and the only thing he can say is, “I am Groot.” It doesn’t matter what the situation is he doesn’t have any other vocabulary. In the movie he is the most empathetic individual in the group. He is caring, heroic and even sacrificial in his friendship. In one scene he protects the other Guardians and when his partner protests, he says, “WE are Groot.”

And this ties into HR how ??

I went to an Ohio SHRM State Council meeting at the Capitol Square Sheraton in Columbus, Ohio recently. When I arrived in our meeting room, there was George one of the Sheraton staff. He turned quickly and said, “Steve !!” and hugged me. “I was hoping you’d be here. Where were you last time?” I explained that I just couldn’t make it and was sorry to miss seeing him. George left the room to tell Theresa and Mike that I had made the meeting. Theresa shared with me that at the end of December she was named Employee of the Month for the hotel and Employee of the Year for the chain regionally. We hugged. Mike came out on a break to tell me about his family and we hugged. The meeting went well and then Sammy came to the room after we had finished for the day just to say, “Hi !!” and said he couldn’t miss seeing me. We hugged.

This is humbling in ways that are hard to express. These great folks aren’t my employees and I see them at most three times a year for less than a few minutes each time. It is always great to see the staff at the Sheraton because we are Groot !!

Too often we get caught up in HR focusing on the people who are only within arm’s reach. Many HR practitioners I know struggle to make connections with people they work with, and that is tough. I understand that it’s hard to encourage you to take in people who are outside your day-to-day environment, but I’d like to have you consider something different.

We can “practice” HR wherever we are and whoever we interact with. This is because people are the basis for who we are and what we do. You don’t have to limit yourself to the systems that you feel you control. People all around you desperately want someone to connect with them, notice them and understand that what they do has value.

You can be that person who reaches out. You can be the person who takes a few minutes to make sure someone isn’t missed. You can be the person who people miss if they expected you to be there. You can be the hug someone melts in because it came at the right time.

This week, take a look and see who is around you. Take the step to be different and reach out. I know this works and I know you have it in you because in HR – We are Groot !!

Spending Your Time !!

The one commodity that people state they don’t have enough of is time. Our lives are so full that we have this constant sense that we’re either always behind or that something important isn’t being done. This attitude puts us in a position where we are stressed and often focused on minutia that we feel, if handled, will put things back in their rightful order.

This isn’t a post about balance. This isn’t a post about workforce flexibility. This post is about choice.

We are all given the same amount of hours each day. Our lives have patterns that we have chosen that involve our work which consumes most of our time during the week. We rarely look at how those hours are used because we become set in certain methods that keep things relatively stable. This is alluring because we accomplish the things we enjoy completing more often than not if this pattern is maintained.

The challenge with this is that our patterns become our expectations and any deviation from this throws us for a loop. The other aspect of this repetitiveness is that it limits the number of people we regularly interact with and keeps us from having the chance to interact with the countless others who pass by us every single day.

So, a big question for us is WHO do you spend your time with? I think if you sat down and wrote down the number of people who get your time, it would be fairly small. That may be comfortable for you, but why choose to be limited? Why forsake the opportunity to meet and learn about others who, if given your time, could benefit from knowing you and you knowing them.

I have always been a person who is surrounded by people. This has been my choice and I can’t get enough of it. I don’t expect others to have this same perspective. I understand that we all have a certain capacity for the number of people in our lives. My contention is that you should see how full that capacity should be !!

I recently went to a fundraising dinner for the Boys & Girls Club of West Chester/Liberty which is the community where my family and I live. During the presentation, the Executive Director quoted a study that says that kids spend less than 4% of their time with adults these days. Think of that. It’s staggering to think that kids, who will one day be our future leaders and employees, have so little meaningful interactions with adults.

How can we expect them to be the next great generation, when we aren’t willing to spend time with them? This is just one example. There are so many ways to have a positive impact on those around you for the present and to be a legacy for the future. You need to choose if that is something you’re willing to do.

The story which gives us all the perspective of why how we spend our time matters is best told by Lauren Hill. Lauren is a freshman at Mt. St. Joseph University in Cincinnati and she has inoperable brain cancer. Her story has gained national attention because she had a goal of playing at least one college game. Today, she did that and she scored the first two points and the last two points of the game. She may not live until December of this year, but her goal was set and accomplished. When you hear her tell her story of her shortened life, she only focuses on reaching those around her.

This week slow down time. Take a look at how your spending it and who you’re spending it with. Make the time with those you’re with the fullest it can be and then see if you can take on even one more person. You’ll see that it’s the best way you could ever use of your time !!

As You Wish.

Tomorrow I am celebrating a true milestone in my life, and the life of another. My amazing wife Debbie and I will have been married 25 years !! It’s incredible to think that we have literally been married for half of our lives (so far).

So, if you will allow me, I’d like to step away from penning an HR post to share our story . . .

I moved to Cincinnati back in 1986 after graduating from Ohio University. I only knew a small handful of people in town and had no social circle. One day at work a flyer came across my desk for Young Friends of the Zoo. This was a group of young adults from all over Greater Cincinnati that met to volunteer at the world famous Cincinnati Zoo. It sounded interesting so I gave it a try.

At the first meeting I attended, the leaders of the meeting were looking for a Chair for the Beastly Ball – the group’s largest fundraiser. I have never been one to shy away from things, so I volunteered to chair the event. The group was a bit shocked I stepped up without being “known,” but they gave me a shot. The Ball was a huge costume party and we transformed an empty warehouse into an Egyptian tomb.

Every meeting I stood up and introduced myself, “Hi, I’m Steve Browne, chair of the Beastly Ball. I need your help to make this happen and I’ll be around to see all of you during the meeting.” The extrovert in me was glowing, and my future wife would make sure to leave the meeting or shuffle around so as to not meet me on purpose. She thought that I was too over the top and brash to want to intentionally meet everyone.

We had several work nights to make the decorations for the Egyptian tomb, and Debbie was there every time. One night she came over to me (after having avoided me for months mind you) and she asked what I was doing that weekend. I said, “Nothing.” (because I’ve always been good with words). And she responded with the best line of all time – “Want to do nothing together?” I was floored and said, “YES !!” immediately.

Our first date was a movie, The Princess Bride. We had no idea that we were seeing a movie about true love and saw this merely as a first date. In this classic film, the main character Wesley, always responds to Princess Buttercup with “as you wish” regardless of what she asks. We loved every moment of the movie and felt connected from that point on.

Fast forward about one year and Debbie and I were going to the monthly Young Friends of the Zoo meeting yet again. I asked her to come a little early and meet at the King Cheetah area. It was there that I proposed to her because the King Cheetah is one of the few animals who mate for life. It just felt right to do. She fortunately said, “Yes” and here we are 25 years later.

Debbie is the perfect balance for me. She is the organized, introverted, brilliant, loving and sensible side that I lack. I am thankful for every moment that I’ve had with her. She is an amazing wife, mother and partner who stepped out of her comfort zone to connect with me.

We come across people every day who can impact our lives. They may be reaching out to see how they can connect. Are you paying attention to this? You never know, you may find someone who will be with you for the rest of your life !!

So, now, I look forward to what will truly be a new adventure as we move towards our next milestone. We are more of the exception in today’s society by being married for 25 years and I dig that. We have found true love just like the movie and, I get to be Wesley, now and forever, who will look to Debbie to respond “as you wish” !!