‘Life’ Articles at Everyday People, Page 6

Hot Chocolate Made With Milk !!

A few weekends ago an amazing person passed away !! She influenced more people than she ever knew and she never would have taken credit for any of it. Did you see her passing in the press/social media? No, I’m sure you didn’t.

You see, it was my Aunt Elaine.

After 81 phenomenal years, Aunt Elaine moved onto the next stage of life where I’m sure she was welcomed with open arms !! I was at the SHRM Leadership Conference when her funeral services were held and I was disappointed to not be there for my extended family and the myriad of people who came to show their respects and shine as an example of who she touched.

You see, my brother and I were incredibly blessed when we were very young. Our Dad, a Vietnam Vet, passed away in 1968 after losing a battle with Hodgkin’s Disease cancer. We were 4 and 2 at the time. Living in the mighty metropolis of Luckey, Ohio (yes, it is a town) would have been difficult for my Mom to raise two young boys except for our incredibly tight knit family. Most days we were with my Grandma and Grandpa as Mom went to work. However, we were often at Aunt Elaine’s , a mere mile and a half away as well.

I fondly remember spending the night and waking up before dawn with my cousins to go out and work in the barn doing chores to care for the farm animals. It was hard work for a young boy, but every aspect of it was spectacular !! The warmth, the smell, the sounds – all of it permeated every inch of you and made you feel connected to the life of being a farmer.

After chores, we would all bounce back into my Aunt and Uncle’s simple farm home to a table overflowing with food !! Farm fresh eggs which we had just gathered, bacon from the farm, toast from homemade bread and of course – hot chocolate made with milk !! The chance to have breakfast, or any meal, at my Aunt’s house was an incredible treat. We thought this was “normal” for when we were at the farm and revelled in it !!

Why does this all matter ??

You see, we all leave a legacy in our lives whether we choose to or not. My Aunt Elaine touched countless numbers of people with her laughter, her charity, her positive glow and outlook on life and her love for family.

In HR we work around people every day and we have the chance to be a positive imprint on their lives. We often think that by focusing on the “business” of what we do is more important than caring for others as people. Just remember – that leaves an imprint as well !!

So, this week, what can you do to be that simple mug of hot chocolate? Be intentional and value all of those whose lives you touch !! It will matter eternally !!

Talent Takes Time !!

This weekend I had an incredible time with my son and 5,000 other Boy Scouts at Peterloon. This isn’t a post about scouting, it’s about talent.

You see, this weekend my son was the “Senior Patrol Leader” meaning that he was in charge of the entire weekend. He made sure everything was packed, ready to go, the camp was set up and the boys/adults had a productive time during the event. He had to organize activities, keep track of details, encourage great behavior and address behavior that was a little more “challenging.”

During the camp tear down, I was about to “direct” some scouts to take care of things, when my son stepped in and said, “Dad, that’s not what we’re going to do. That’s not a good use of our time. I want to see the boys move the dining flies, tear down the chairs and then put things in the trailer. Then we’ll eat. We need to get these things done so we can stay on track.”

Did I mention my son’s 15 ??

This is the same young man who has done all of the goofy things boys do. He’s incredibly funny, creative, witty and caring. I am sure he will be successful in whatever he chooses to pursue. His ideas are so far out of the box as to how to approach people that he finds people following his lead and innovation.

He’s a great example of why talent takes time. If you would have told me that my son would become the young man I saw taking charge this weekend when he was young, I would have laughed out loud !!

Too often in organizations, HR follows the bright shining star who bursts onto the scene. Everyone follows this person exclaiming their talent and the gold mine of leadership that he/she is sure to be for years to come !! At times, this plays out. However, too often the supernova is just that – a super nova. They dazzle, draw attention and may do something short-term that astonishes everyone around and has great initial success.

Talent happens over a slow burn. Talent is sustainable. Talent is consistent and remains constant . . . over time.

So, when you clamor for the next “Talent Management” seminar or best practice, step back and review the employees around you. Who is that person or department that consistently builds others up? What person(s) make others shine through bringing their whole team along? Are you trying to develop a series of supernovas, or true talent?

I can’t wait to see what happens in the future for my son. I know it’s impossible to predict. He’s surprised me so far. I’m sure the great people around you will surprise you as well . . . if you just look out for the talent all around you !!

One Small Step . . .

This weekend one of my heroes passed away – Neil Armstrong. Maybe because he was a farm boy from Northwest Ohio, or because he was proud to be “nerdy,” or because he was humble and genuine.

I vividly remember being in my Grandfather’s house in tiny Luckey, Ohio with my aunts, uncles and cousins crowded around the TV as Walter Cronkite reported the landing of Apollo 11 on the moon. When Armstrong actually came out onto the ladder and began moving toward the surface of the moon, there was awe and silence in the house. After he uttered his immortal words and stepped onto the moon, my Grandfather – the epitome of the hard working farmer – just kept saying, ” I’ll be damned. I’ll be damned.” The general disbelief of what we all just saw was burnt into our lives forever.

If you’ve ever seen interviews with Armstrong after this life- changing event, he remained unassuming, thoughtful and curious. He wanted to see people continue to stretch boundaries, just as he had. The Armstrongs live about 30 minutes from my current house just outside Cincinnati. So, this legend, was living a regular life and that is a great example !!

When he said “One small step,” he inspired a nation. It makes you think. What could I do if I took one small step? So often, in our lives, and especially at work, we think that change has to occur in giant chunks, or earth-shattering movements. In reality, it only takes those small, incremental steps.

What are some steps you could take in HR to be this type of “explorer”? Could you make sure to say “Hi” to ALL of your employees (and not just the ones you’re comfortable with)? Could you challenge something that needs to be corrected, but no one will step forward? Would you join a local HR chapter, go to a regional or State Conference to meet other HR folks?

The questions and efforts are all within our reach. This week, find your Neil Armstrong moment and take one small step forward in some area of your life. Who knows – it might end up being something that is a “giant leap for all mankind” !!

Image courtesy of NASA

Release Your Inner Pop Artist !!

Last week my family and I enjoyed an incredible week of vacation in Chicago !! We took in sites such as the harrowing Skydeck of Willis Tower, the incredible Lincoln Park Zoo and the Cloud Gate “Bean” sculpture in Millenium Park. We ate well in local restaurants and had a glorious time !!

A true highlight for us was the Art Institute of Chicago. My kids are old enough to “tolerate” art and they even sought out some pieces/artists on their own that they “just had” to see. It was cool to experience this with them. They know that I’m an art buff and love to see how people express themselves creatively. A true surprise during our visit was the Roy Lichtenstein exhibit.

Ironically, we walked into the back of the exhibit which featured his work from his final years and we worked our way backwards. What was fascinating was that when we got to the “beginning” of where we should have started, we saw that he started out like other abstract artists of his time.

He hadn’t developed his style like you see here from his painting “Whaam!” from 1963. His colors, styles and brush strokes could have been mistaken for other artists of his time. He chose to develop his own style and approach to art and he ended up one of the most dynamic and memorable creators of Pop Art ever !!

It made me think of HR. (I know that’s geeky, but go with it.) Most HR people I know are great copiers, mimics and people who take on “best practices” that they admire from others. This type of HR is very effective and you can be very successful doing this.

But, what if you released your creativity and took your work, and profession, in a different way? What if there was a Pop Artist just waiting to burst onto the scene to be heard? What if your “work” and art was someday seen in museums and exhibits?

Sound crazy? I don’t think so. Not in the least.

You see, I believe that there is creativity in each of us. Some may repress it or ignore it, but we love creating things as people. HR needs creativity in so many facets. There really are no limits as to what can be done in your role, your company and your field.

Why not be like Roy Lichtenstein who learned from his peers and then took a step out in a whole new direction? Just think of what you could do !! I try to be creative every day in at least one way. This week see if you can join me and release some of the creative brilliance in you just waiting to hit the canvas !! I look forward to seeing your work !!

Image courtesy of Art Encyclopedia 2012

Savor Every Moment !!

I am digging that the Olympics are on !! I’ve loved watching both the Summer and Winter Games since 1972. The thing that is unfortunate, to me, this year is that people on Social Media are raking NBC over the coals because our “instant society” has results before the athlete even completes an event.

On top of that, people are scathing about how the network is slower than we can post, blog or tweet. In doing this, I think they take away the performance of the athletes, the compelling human drama and the visual appeal of watching the event unfold. I never look for the results, and if I happen to see one, I still watch the event with anticipation.

You may say this is naive or old fashioned, but I think it calls to mind an imbalance in life that social media has afforded us. Let me share two quick stories . . .

On Friday, I went to the retirement dinner of my 70 year old Dad. He had worked for the Mid-Ohio Energy Cooperative as the Accountant. His career for the last 22 years was for a small company in a rural town in Ohio. It was spectacular !! They told stories about my Dad and his “Donisms” which brought the room to tears with laughter. When my Dad spoke, he got a bit choked up thanking the company for the ability to earn a good wage with benefits. He pointed to his family and said, “Look how much you have provided for me so that I am blessed to have provided for my family.” Amazing !!

Tonight we had a cookout with four close girls basketball families and their Coach (w/ family) one last time before the girls head to college. We laughed, reminisced and enjoyed our company one last time as a tight knit group. We vowed to meet every Christmas break and summer to make sure we stayed in touch as a group. Phenomenal !!

When it comes to HR, we are tending to be more like the instant world of Social Media versus the picture above called “Holding a Piece of Time.” We rush to immediate action and/or judgement without taking in all aspects of what is involved. We think the “stories” that surround us honestly get in the way of our real jobs.

This week try something new !! Savor the moments around you. Take in everything and see that, more often than not, great things are happening. You can still take in all of the events, enjoy the movement and come to great decisions. In fact, your results will be spectacular. Don’t rush . . . savor !!

Buffaloes, Planes and Wiffle Ball !!

This past week I was completely unplugged as I was at Summer Camp at the Pioneer Scout Reservation with the Boy Scouts. To say it was spectacular would not capture the experience enough !! I know that the idea of camping for a week in 100+ degree weather for a few days followed by 14 straight hours of monsoonlike rain isn’t for everyone, but I wouldn’t trade it in for the world !!

There were so many memories forged, but let me highlight just a few . . .

I slept through a heat lightning thunderstorm in an open field approximately 100 yards from a herd of buffalo at the Wild Winds Buffalo Preserve.
My son flew an airplane including lift off . . . and he’s 14 !!
Our Troop built a wiffle ball field inside our campsite. They made the bases from log pieces cut by them with a two-man saw.
The kids challenged the camp staff to a wiffle ball game on our field and beat them 16 – 6. I was deemed a “traitor” because I put on a staff shirt and hat and played for their team !!

The list could go on and on. The amazing thing is that even when I’m away from the “normal” world of work – HR still happens. Our leaders and scouts went out of our way to bond with the Staff and encourage them in all the great work that they do. Everyday staff members were in our site to socialize, play Euchre (an essential of scouting life !!) and even ask for advice. They are talented young men and women who choose to take their summers to help boys advance in their scouting career.

The best lesson I learned from camp this year was that, because I was disconnected from the outside/electronic/social media world, I could focus. I could focus on what mattered the most . . . the people around me.

Whether it was calming a young kid down from a serious bought of home sickness, or seeing my son become a young man and lead others, you didn’t have the chance to focus on anything else. You could take in every challenge, obstacle and opportunity and encourage, coach and guide people to be successful in what they were pursuing.

We hosted the leaders from the summer camp’s other Troops at our site and I taught them how to share one great thing about their kids and they stayed at our site for 2 1/2 hours sharing amazing things !!

This break from the wild pace of life reminded me that I want to continue to be an HR professional who focused on people first. You know that when we focused on the boys they completed their work, laughed for hours and hours, and worked together to do things that they’d never try on their own.

I think we make HR too hard. I am taking the lessons from this past week and implementing them even more. So, each night I’m going outside to gaze into the night sky and breathe deep to keep me grounded. Of course I’ll be wearing tie-dye, and you can see that this legacy will continue with at least a handful of young men for years to come.

I call him “Dad” !!

Other than being married, the greatest joy I have in life is the gift of being a father !! You’ve seen me write about both of my kids, Melanie (18 and soon heading off to college) and Josh (14 and planning to take over the world). I’ve even written about my biological father who was a decorated veteran of the Vietnam War. Today, however, I’m writing about my dad.

You see, I hail from the Center of the Universe which is also known as the Village of Ada, Ohio. This is where my brother and I grew up during our formative Jr. High and Sr. High years and where my parents still reside. This story starts about one year before we moved to this incredible mecca !!

My mother is in the 1st wing of the “Mothers Hall of Fame” !! That is not an exaggeration. ANYONE who has met my mom would say this within minutes of meeting her. Since I was the “man of the house” since the age of four, I was very protective of my mom and didn’t quite get why she had to meet someone else. Thankfully, I wasn’t really in charge and the good Lord brought Don into my mom’s life. He seemed cool enough, but I didn’t want him getting “too close” to my mom.

One night after they had been “courting” (that’s what they called it – not me), he came to the room where my brother and I stayed and we had the following conversation:

Don – “Boys, I wanted to talk to you and ask you something.”

Steve – “Sure. What do you want to tell us?” (I didn’t allow my younger brother to speak because I was – and still am – the firstborn)

Don – “Well, your mom and I have decided to get married.”

(My brother and I were stunned and shocked. How could she do this? We didn’t need him !! He went on . . .)

Don – “Well, boys, I just wanted to ask. When we’re married, do you want to call me ‘Dad’ or ‘Don’ ??”

(Get ready for it. Here comes the most calloused response in the history of families !!)

Steve – “We’ll call you ‘Don’ because you will NEVER be our father !!”

(Did I mention that I was an idiot 13 year old punk?)

Don – “That’s fine boys. Good night.”

He didn’t put up a fight and was incredibly gracious (as he always has been.) Later that summer in 1976 during the glitz of the Bicentennial, my brother and I stood in polyester suited glory at my mom and Don’s wedding. We moved to Ada and the rest is history – well, sort of . . .

Don raised my brother Mark and I as if we were his own sons. He was always fair, structured and showed us amazing things. He taught us about work ethic, manners, treating women with respect and most of all . . . love mixed with incredible humor !!

The day of my high school graduation, he grabbed me and hugged me and told me he loved me. He followed that with, “So, when are you moving out?” Through laughter and tears I embraced him and said, “I love you Dad !!”

He always had been my “Dad” and now I realized it. He has been nothing but amazing my whole life with him. He showed me, and continues to show me, the mantra I live by:

Model the behavior you expect in others.

He’s now a grandfather five times over and he comes to most of the grandkids events. He never missed one event my brother and I were involved in – EVER !!

This week he made sure to let me know that he was retiring at the young age of 70. I adore my father !! If I can be half the man he has been for me, then I know that I will have left a grand legacy.

Happy Father’s Day to anyone fortunate enough to be a Father. Never take it lightly for you are leaving a legacy to each and everyone you touch !!

Staring at a blank page . . .

Who here lives a “full” life? One where it seems you never have enough time to get done what you wanted to accomplish?

The answer is that everyone has a life that’s full. What’s different for us is what we choose to use to fill it. Whenever I hear someone say they don’t have enough time, I truly am skeptical. It doesn’t seem like they’re bored. In fact, when you ask them, they say they’re “busy.” When you ask what they’re busy with, there is rarely a good answer because they really don’t know. They just know they’re exhausted being busy.

Whenever I make a surprise phone call to friends, our first question to each other is, “So, how are you doing?” I usually answer, “Man, I’m full and I love it !!” Then we talk about the amazing things going on in our lives, our families, our friends and our work. I do my best to get off the HR “what’s the new project” talk to make sure that we talk about all facets of our lives.

There are days that do seem to get away from me. I’ve given up the notion that I control much at all. Being in HR, I truly want to be in a position to move things forward while including everyone around me as much as possible. I look at each day as a blank page.

This isn’t some idealistic, pie in the sky, you really can’t live that way approach. It just allows for things to happen at different paces and within the flow that they need to occur.

I mentioned last week that I’ve been on this crusade to list 3 great things a day in my journal. At first, I looked at the blank page in front of my journal and the regular anxiety of what to write crept in. “Would it be interesting enough?” “Am I just going through the motions?” “Did anything great really happen?”

Now, the words pour out of the pen themselves and I stop at 3, but I could write pages and pages. You see, before doing this, being busy was easy and it followed the path of everyone around me. I was frustrated. I felt overwhelmed and out of control. That’s lessened considerably because having the blank page is honestly welcoming.

As you start this work week, and your to-do list is already 14 behind when you roll over to hit the snooze button – stop, breathe, and start over. Start with a blank page and let your day be filled with the great things that are sure to happen to you.

Remember, when you hit the office, you’ll be running into people who are already “full” and won’t be able to get past being busy. Help them out. Add them to your page and see what stories unfold !!

Lest We Forget . . .

You may or may not know this, but I am a big geek !! I always have been, and am quite cool with it. In school I was in the geeky clubs, the nerdy societies and even had the giant tortoise shell glasses during the 80’s (with the essential feathered hair to compliment the look !!)

Tomorrow, I get to be with my fellow geeks to do something amazing !! You see, every year I march in the Memorial Day parade in West Chester, Ohio with my Boy Scout Troop. I am the Scoutmaster of said Troop, and there are very few things in life that I give more credence to than working with the Scouts. There are tons of scouts who come out for this annual tradition.

We’ll gather tomorrow around 9:00am and march two miles to the local cemetery for a Memorial Day ceremony that always brings me to tears. To see the people who have served, and continue to serve, our country always humbles me. In the midst of our gathering, we are surrounded by veterans who have passed dating back to the Revolutionary War.

It’s easy for us to continue with our lives every day and never take note of those who serve for our country. We’ve been at war for over a decade, and we’re more concerned with who may play in the NBA finals, or who wins Celebrity Apprentice. Don’t get me wrong, I live the same way. Tomorrow, that cloud lifts and I can take time to be thankful and grateful for those who step in harm’s way for my freedom.

As professionals in HR, we can do our part by getting behind the good work of the Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve (ESGR). We can also use the Veterans Hiring Toolkit from SHRM to help support the America’s Heroes at Work initiative from the DOL.

If those aren’t an option for you as an employer, there is one thing that ALL of us can do. A dear friend of mine told me that every time she sees someone in fatigues or uniform in public, she goes up to them and says “Thank You for Your Service.” This simple gesture means that world to people. Once I heard this from her, I’ve been doing it ever since.

This Memorial Day, step out and be a little geeky. The men and women of our Armed Services deserve no less.

Take the Detour !!

As I traveled to my nephew’s high school graduation this weekend, I was forewarned that the main highway to my brother’s house was closed for a 20-mile stretch in Tennessee. Being from Ohio, and not knowing the sundry back roads of Tennessee, I was a bit concerned. You see, we got a late start and we would be getting to the road closure at night. Yes, I have a GPS, but you know as well as I do that they look for the shortest route to their destination and don’t like when you wander off course.

On top of having to leave the main highway, my brother advised me to follow the detour of the wide load trucks and not the flow of traffic. I asked him why, and he said that it would be quicker. Others coming to the graduation who had arrived earlier took the flow of traffic option and it took up to 2 hours to go those 20 miles.

My wife asked if we should trust my brother’s advice. Being someone who doesn’t tend to follow the flow very often, I said, “Sure, let’s see where the road takes us.”

It turns out that it was a much quicker route. However, during the detour our car was sandwiched between two semis barrelling through mountainous roads with little to no lighting. Also, whoever designed the roads must have loved the art of massive and quick changing curves versus having straight stretches of road. It was challenging, harrowing and exhilarating !!

My brother was right and our trek was much quicker than what the others had to suffer through. I was glad to have taken his advice and also the route that I wasn’t “supposed” to take.

It made me think of HR (of course). You see, we are a part of the most risk averse profession around. It shouldn’t be that way, but it tends to be. Whenever we are pressed with a decision, we tend to take the “flow of traffic.” It’s a shame because there are a multitude of other routes availabe, we just need to try them !!

You see, the route I took gave the same result as the others who also had to leave the main road. However, I was only one car among many trucks !! I had to have faith that my intuition would pay off.

This week, take the detour a different way than what you normally do. Be creative !! See where the road leads and what outcomes occur. It’s worth the risk !!