‘Life’ Articles at Everyday People, Page 5

All Keyed Up !!

When’s the last time you had an event truly shape or change your life? I know that we all have these types of events and once they occur you need to decide how you are going to respond.

Last week I experienced an event that truly changed my life !!

I just returned from Sea Base which is a national Boy Scout camp located in the Florida Keys. The past week was spent doing everything from kayaking in the Gulf of Mexico to swimming off a boat in 600 feet of water in the Gulf Stream !! If I wrote the post on every amazing activity I experienced, it would be too long to read.

I spent the week with six phenomenal young men, including my son and another dad from the Troop. Two other dads traveled with us and hung out on vacation while we experienced the adventures of Sea Base. Here we all are at the Southernmost Point in the US in Key West !!

It’s hard to capture the emotions that happened throughout the week because every day brought something unique and new to each of us. At the beginning of the week there is an “adult meeting” to explain what was going to happen. The point that struck me was when the Camp Commissioner said, “There will be things this week that challenge you. I encourage you to take a risk and stretch yourself. When you do, you’ll see you have the ability to do more than you think. Also, your boys will see that you are involved and will want to join in with you.”

That’s when the life changing moment happened. Mind you, this was on the 1st day of the week !!

How often do we not heed this advice in our work as HR professionals? This wasn’t someone throwing down a gauntlet. It was someone who gave encouragement with context. He laid down the opportunity, explained the potential for success and failure and how that opportunity would be a model for others.

I was on fire after that !! It was the first week where EVERY single day was positive from start to finish !! I mean it. EVERY SINGLE MOMENT !! There were incredible challenges that we faced both physically like being in the ocean as well as living on an out island that was more like Survivor than anything I’ve ever seen. Throughout each day there was constant laughter and an incredible bond with the staff as well as the chance to do things with the boys that we never dreamt of doing before with ease !!

Several people bemoaned when I came back – “Oh, now you HAVE to go BACK to work !!” Are you kidding ??

I GET to return to a place where more great people are looking for (1) encouragement with context who (2) want to take risks to (3) succeed or fail and I get to (4) model it myself for others.

I’m keyed up (aka as Geeked !!) Sea Base took off the filters, edges, doubt and frustration with things that lay before me. I’m a better person for stretching this week and I hope you do the same !!

Thanks Mom !!

Yesterday we had the chance to thank all of those fortunate to be mothers. It is incredible to see the outpouring for moms, and every bit of it is perfect !! I hope you took time to thank the moms in your life yesterday because they deserve your thanks EVERY day !!

Honestly, this is a huge work issue as well. Please note one thing here . . . I think ALL moms work !! The mothers who are able to be at-home-moms work hard every day with their families, communities and kids. Don’t ever think that this isn’t valuable. It’s an incredible gift that they give with immeasurable value.

For those great moms who also have a job outside of the home, I think we need to give you more validity and attention. It’s an amazing testament to you as a professional to be able to do all that you do in the workplace !! You see, I have a marvelous example to draw from – my mom.

My father passed away when I was 4 and my brother was 2 back in 1968. So, my mom became a “single” mom as a widow during a time when that was much more of an exception than today. We have an amazing extended family who pitched in to watch my brother and I during the day so she could work an entry level administrative position as well as take college courses to become a teacher. She earned her degree from Bowling Green State University and began teaching in the vocational school system. She taught future administrative assistants who were predominantly women. So, she modeled her success to those who would go on to have careers of their own.

Now, I know everyone says their mom is the best. I’d have to chime in with that as well but with a twist. My mom has influenced and encouraged hundreds and hundreds of young women to pursue a skill and impact workplaces. She has seen them grow into incredible adults, been to their weddings, held their children and seen many of her student’s children graduate.

Before she retired after 30+ years of teaching, she received her Master’s Degree, remarried a phenomenal man, and started her career as world’s best grandmother. She continues to put forth a witness of grace, joy and encouragement to all that she encounters.

So, today, I’d like to say THANK YOU !! Thanks to my mom and to all the moms who are out there in homes and in the workplace. You make the world a better place because of who you are and all you do !!

When Kids Grow Up . . .

This past weekend I led our Troop Advancement Outing. As the Scoutmaster, it’s my one outing where I am officially “in charge.” That term is used very loosely because the boys plan everything. I only make sure that the outing is focused on helping the new kids work on things that help them advance in rank.

It seems that every campout I run for the Advancement Outing has a unique weather element to it !! This year we had below freezing temperatures, rain and sleet. Yipee !! You have to love Ohio in April !! The amazing thing about this weather anomaly was that the boys didn’t even flinch an eye. Sure, it was cold, but they were camping and that was good enough for them.

During this full weekend, the older Scouts taught the new Scouts how to build fires, wield axes, identify plants and animals as well as basic First Aid. One requirement we always include is a five mile hike. I always go with the kids because I love doing the activies with them !! The hike rocked !!! We saw evidence of deer, raccoons and beavers. We saw plants and trees we’d never seen before and the highlight of the hike was the break we took. We stopped at a creek and I told the boys they could spend 15 minutes creeking. They literally jumped off the bridge and straight into the freezing water !! They searched for crayfish, fossils, caves, etc. The energy level skyrocketed !!

Later, our First Aid walk was truly epic !! The boys walk through the woods and come upon various injured people and they have to identify the problem and a solution to how to help them. My amazing son led this and came up with Attack of the Insane Doll !! So, each injured scout along the route had been attacked by a stuffed childhood toy and left the boys punctured, blistered, burned, rabid and broken – with a compound fracture. The boys who acted out the walk were spectacular and the make-up and props were of Hollywood quality.

So, what does this have to do with HR or the workplace ?? Everything !!

You know what happens to kids when grow up ?? They become our employees !!

So, the bright-eyed and creative kids who jump into a freezing creek and get muddy and soaked may be CEO’s !! The victims of the insane doll may be engineers, factory workers or managers.

However, when they grow up and come to WORK we have to do our duty to suck their souls out to make sure they “perform” and don’t bring their whole self to work. We have standards to uphold for goodness sake.

Also, if employees actually did bring their entire being to work, what would happen ?? The sad thing is that we don’t know. People put on their work face to make sure that things get done and order is ensured. Also sad !!

We have a great opportunity in HR to eradicate this and get the kid factor back into our workplaces. When I think of culture, I want to see people who are engaged, genuine and playful. I’m fortunate to be at a company that not only allows that – it expects it.

So, this week be a kid. You know you want to and the other kids around you are just waiting for someone to break out and make it FUN versus it being WORK. The creek’s waiting . . . just watch out for that doll !!

Geeked !!

If you know me at all, you’ve heard the word “geeked” !! My wife would even say that I use the word a little too much. I can’t help in though.

Recently, I was fortunate enough to be the opening keynote at the SCIHRA Conference. We had a great time, and a true highlight for me was when an attendee came up to me after the presentation and said, “Wow, it was great to hear HR in a positive and fun way !!” I thanked her, but then thought that it was telling if someone had to come to an event to get HR pros geeked about what we do.

I couldn’t let this pass so I asked her how she saw HR. (Get ready . . .)

“Well, most everyone we read or hear from is either negative, snarky or sarcastic. It’s hard to be motivated when so few are encouraging. You took the things we do everyday and brought passion and humor. It was great to laugh !! ” Ouch !!! I thanked her again and it made me think.

You see, being geeked to me isn’t just being “positive.” It’s really a choice of how to approach life – not just HR.

Trust me, I know what it’s like to be in a blue funk, have a frustrating day, or be negative. To take a different approach to life takes a ton of effort and a commitment to being intentional.

Being geeked isn’t always taken very well by others either. Unfortunately, most people start every day with a heavy sigh and a negative thought about what’s not done. Then, it usually gets darker from there.

I’m sure there will be folks who read this and think that being geeked is some “act” or just being naive and a utopian. Someone who’s dodging reality. Not true in the least.

People relish the chance to have someone with them who’s excited about who they are, what they do and what’s happening in their lives. It’s an incredible feeling to see folks come to life when you get them all geeked up !!

You see, there are tons of blogs, books and articles on people bringing their “whole self” to work. I get that, but few practice it. If you try this approach, you might get to see your whole self emerge. That would be awesome !!

So, this week pick something and go for it. Get geeked and tell others about it. Post it on Twitter or Facebook. Send it in an e-mail. Take a picture. Whatever works for you, do it. Trust me, you’ll love your day just a bit more when you do !!

I’ll be looking for the great things you’re doing. Need to go now and see the next new thing. You know I’ll probably be . . .

Grace

When someone wrongs you, how do you react? Are you angry, vindictive, ready to pounce? For most of us, the answer is “it depends.” We’ll take a breath and then decide the best course of action.

However, when it comes to employees, we often forget to breathe first. We jump to the nearest set of policies and then comb through them to see what level of discipline needs to be metered out. It amazes me as an HR person that when employees slip up, the reaction is usually swift, harsh and doesn’t take anything into consideration – really.

Our systems of progressive discipline and layers of breaking Rule 1.0.1, Subsection A litter our field with little regard of how these actions affect the person who broke said rule. We act as if they are the most disloyal, uncaring and detrimental person who EVER worked for the company !!

Here’s a question for you . . . ever make a mistake or break a rule at work?

Did the appropriate action take place? Were you written up, counseled, suspended or fired? What if you were in this situation? How should the Company treat you ??

It’s time for a different approach to HR. Please take note that this path is much more difficult, painful and intentional. However, it works !!

Grace.

Before launching into the employee handbook, remember that your decision and actions are actually affecting another person’s life. That may be their life at work, or their life in general. I don’t think that as HR professionals, we ever think about the person we’re addressing. Our system is more important because we feel we are acting justly and, in doing so, we’re protecting the Company.

I’m not saying that discipline and termination aren’t warranted at work. However, I use a yard stick which says that these only occur based on an employee’s behavior and actions. Even with that benchmark, I still review each case and take into account all of the factors as well as the person who’s about to be disciplined. I want them to come out of any conversation understanding the situation, its context and how we move forward from there.

Now, so you don’t think I’m being Utopian or an idealist, understand that I practice this personally inside work and outside of work. It’s not a popular position because most people want a pound of flesh when they are wronged. I’ll hold out until the last moment that I can before making difficult decisions because I believe in people, even in the darkest situations.

You see, I make mistakes and I have disappointed others – even those closest to me. How can I expect grace from others if I am not willing to be graceful myself? Also, how will others show grace if it isn’t given to them?

I know this works. And, I have reassurance as well because I’ve seen the results. It’s like U2 says in their phenomenal song – Grace from All That You Can’t Leave Behind – “Grace finds goodness in everything.” Try it and see !!

Believe in others !!

One summer while I was in high school, I worked as a counselor at an Easter Seals camp for disabled adults. Going to this camp genuinely changed my perspective on life !! I entered the camp a bit freaked out honestly. Everyone around me was vastly different that me, and what I was “used to.” People in wheelchairs. People who couldn’t speak clearly. People who couldn’t feed themselves, or pretty much care for themselves on their own.

Remember, I was a teenager. Arrogant, self-assured, indestructible, etc. This was too much for me. The adult who had asked me to work was a counselor I had a Church Camp for years. He was a mentor and knew me better than I knew myself. The first night at camp, I cried myself to sleep because of the challenged people and my inability to accept them.

The first full day of camp, Duane (my mentor), asked me to sit in a wheelchair and he tied my left hand (I’m left handed) to the arm of the chair. He then told me that I was teaching art class all day for campers, but wouldn’t be allowed to leave my chair. I had to eat all of my meals, use the restroom and live the life of the campers. I didn’t handle it well !! I was frustrated at how limited I found myself. Duane had told the campers to really push me – and they did with fervor !!

As the day came to a close, one of the campers, Bill, who had severe cerebral palsy and “spoke” with a rudimentary computer, pulled me aside. He said something that changed me forever. He said, “Steve, don’t be frustrated. We ALL have disabilities !! Some are just more visible than others.”

34 years later, Bill’s words rang true once again . . .

This past week I was honored enough to be a part of Disability Awareness Day at the Statehouse in Columbus, Ohio. One of our LaRosa’s Team Members, Mark, was going to speak about being able to work and be independent. Mark was born without arms and he is one of our Customer Service Representatives and has been with us for 7+ years. As he came to the podium and microphone, he boldly spoke of his work and how he loves taking people’s orders so they can enjoy our great food. He doesn’t view himself as being different. He knows he is a person who is able !!

The room was at capacity and was filled with people whose disabilities were “more visible than others.” They cheered for Mark when he finished and a person in a wheelchair gave me a high five as I came off the stage as well. The great people on this day reminded me that we need to believe in ALL people !! Everyone at the rally felt you were included and not separate. We all came together – as it should be.

So, this week make sure to change your perspective on people from now on. Everyone has value and a life worth living to its fullest extent. Don’t pass someone over, or avoid them because of their appearance. Instead, reach out and let them know that you believe in them. It will change your life as it has mine.

Leave a Mark !!

A huge event just happened, but you probably didn’t notice it. No, it wasn’t the Grammys. It was something much more relevant !! What was it?

My dad turned 70 years old !!

So what? People hit milestone birthdays every day. What’s so big about this one? Let me share a story . . .

You see, my “Dad” is technically my stepdad. My biological father passed away when I was four years old, and my mom raised my brother and I on her own for nine years until she met Don. Again, not a significant tale . . . yet.

The night Don proposed to my mom, he came into the bedroom that my brother and I shared. He quietly said, “Boys, your Mom and I are going to get married and I wanted to ask you something. Do you want to call me ‘Dad’ or ‘Don’?”

Now, I was the man of the house as the eldest son, and I was also an ignorant teenager who defiantly replied, “You’ll NEVER be our Dad !! He’s dead and you can’t replace him.” Don looked back at us and said, “That’s fine. I just wanted to ask,” and he humbly left our room. I thought I had put him in his place and didn’t think that I was being awful at all.

That was 1976. He still married my mom and for years I held true and called him Don. He was still the model father and husband regardless of my not claiming that he was. Then high school graduation hit. I was valedictorian of my small school and gave a speech. This was very important to my dad because he loves a great public speaker. I was nervous, but it went well. As I walked out of the gym after the ceremony, he hugged me (for the first time) and said, “I love you Steve.” I broke down and said, “Thanks, Dad !!”

He’s truly been my Dad from the day he came into my life. You may still be asking why this should matter to you as a reader. Here’s why . . .

My Dad has stuck with me ever since he came into my life. He knew that it was his role to leave a mark on my life. He modeled everything I have hoped to be as a father, husband, citizen, man of faith, humorist, speaker, etc. He never walked away even though I wasn’t accepting of him at first.

In HR, we meet people every day and in various situations. Do you look at those interactions as a place to leave your mark, or are you too rushed and busy to see that you could make a difference? Are “things” more important than the time you spend with people?

My Dad showed me the example of who I am, and who I plan to be for the rest of my life. Every person I encounter has purpose and meaning. I have a chance to leave a mark ever day, every moment, everywhere.

So do you. The question is . . . will you?

Being there !!

One of the coolest outcomes of being involved in social media is meeting the folks behind their avatars. The vast majority of folks I’ve met rock and the “connection” we had on-line has turned into friendships that have relevance and meaning.

Today we are celebrating one of my dearest friendships that came from the various forums, and that is with Paul Hebert. Last year a tradition of #TimSackettDay was started for the inimitable Tim Sackett. To have it be #PaulHebertDay this year is just as cool !!

Paul reached out one day when I mentioned that the HR Roundtable that I facilitate in Cincinnati was going to be on Incentives and Recognition. For those of you who don’t yet know Paul – he is THE go to resource in this area in the country !! (Not an embellishment. It’s a fact !!) He wanted to Skype in or call in to be part of the discussion. I said that I hadn’t had that type of request before because it’s better as a live forum. He asked when it was happening. I told him and he said, ” I’ll be there !! ”

Now, the commute from Greenville, South Carolina to Cincinnati, Ohio takes a bit of time – say 6 1/2 hours or so. He gets the prize for longest distance traveled to be at a Roundtable to date !! When he popped out of the car, I ran to hug him because that’s what I do when I see a friend. He was a bit taken aback for a sec, but he knew it was what brothers do.

First time we met in person. First, now of many !! We saw each other at HRevolution in Atlanta, SHRM National 2012, Ohio SHRM (where he rocked it as a speaker) and most recently at GCHRA in Cincinnati. We always make time to catch up, share ideas and most importantly challenge each other !!

You see, I dig Paul because he’s very intentional about life – as am I. I think that’s one of the key elements that ties us together. Most people shy away from folks who are fully intentional, but not Paul. He is always willing to mold thoughts, give various perspectives and hone our conversations. I don’t get mad about this. I CHERISH IT !!

He’s facing a serious health issue right now, and true to nature, he put up a blog to share about his experience and I love it. In spite of the blog, I call him because talking to him is more intentional and that is what we’ve come to expect from each other.

He’s pulling through this challenge and then he’s launching into his new business relationship with Symbolist. I’m geeked for him and for the great work that is going to come from this partnership !!

When Paul wrote about coming to Cincy for the HR Roundtable, he used the Proclaimers fab one-hit wonder – I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles). In the lyrics they state how the person would be there for his friend no matter what. That’s what #PaulHebertDay is to me.

I will be there for him no matter what !!

Make sure you get to know Paul. You’re life will be more intentional and only brighter because of it !!

Let’s Build a Barn !!

You may or may not know this, but I grew up on a farm. My grandparents raised my brother and I in beautiful Luckey, Ohio (population now of 1,019 !!). It was about half that when I was growing up. My mom worked full time after the passing of my father. We didn’t think anything was “different” with this situation. We LOVED the farm !!

I still love visiting the farms of my relatives. The smells, sounds and general feel of rural life still has a strong allure !! One of my favorite places on a farm is the barn. Barns are incredible places with their nooks, hidden passages, farm equipment, animals, and the obligatory farm cats that just “appear” out of nowhere it seems.

Barns are treasured by farmers. They are incredible structures that seem to weather the test of time. It takes an amazing amount of effort and time to keep a barn in working condition though. They are usually massive buildings, and just to keep them painted is a monumental effort of time and money.

Because of that, barns too often fall into disrepair as the farm (and farmer) age. You’ve seen the barns that make up the landscape as you drive through the country. It’s sad to see this because, at one time, something amazing happened in this essential component of the farm’s daily activities !!

When I see these falling architectural giants, I think of the things that once had meaning and value at work, especially in HR !! You can think of those systems, approaches, policies and procedures that you never change. Chances are they make up the vast majority of your handbooks !! Our company’s landscape is littered with collapsing barns and we just won’t let them go. We think that if we still hold onto them, the glorious past of what once was will magically resurrect itself.

We need to change our approach. Time to build new barns. Not ones that will last forever, but ones that will move our profession and our companies forward. The great thing about barn building on a farm is that it brings everyone together as well !! Make sure you see that the community you serve is involved. Let them bring their own building materials so that this new structure serves everyone !!

So, this week, pull out that handbook and review the collapsing barn you have. See what hasn’t been used, or is even relevant anymore. Tear it down. People will appreciate it. In its place build something new, exciting and effective !! You will be better for it !!

HR is Puzzling !!

I love puzzles !! I mean it. I love the challenge of opening a box and seeing thousands of tiny, misshapen pieces that only show a portion of a bigger picture. To be honest, I like puzzles that are also a little unique. I’m not a big fan of the large, scenic panoramas. If it’s something that challenges you and comes out with a very cool end product – then I’m in.

At Christmas, the kids and I all got puzzles. Here’s a look at them . . .

Cool puzzle of the US made up of license plates !!

A double-sided puzzle of David Bowie’s classic album – The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars !! Dig that – puzzles and rock combined !!

Puzzles also offer great lessons for HR. Here are a few . . .

Give things framework !! – The first rule in most puzzles is to put together the frame because it defines the puzzles boundaries and also gives it just enough structure to give it cohesiveness. Great HR does the same when you look at employee situations as well as your systems and “frame” them up !!
Every piece counts !! – When you look on a puzzle box and see that there are 1,000 pieces, then you rely on the fact that without even one piece, the puzzle is incomplete. What if we looked at our teams and our employees in the same way? If we had the approach that every person mattered, wouldn’t you strive to make sure that happened?
We come in different shapes !! – It’s time that HR understood that diversity is all around us in our organizations. It’s not a program or an initiative. It’s a fact !! Just like puzzle pieces, people each add their own take, shape, approach and view on the work we do.
Look at the big picture !! – The thrill of completing a puzzle is that you get to see the results of your work and the whole picture comes into view. Too often, HR gets hung up on one piece and can’t let it go until that one is “fixed.” When you see how the whole puzzle of employees, integrating HR, being strategic and moving a company forward come together – you’ll try to help pieces fit vs. trying to fix them.

All of us in HR have puzzles we have to evaluate, consider, assemble and/or disassemble everyday. Instead of looking at that as a point of frustration, why not view it as a great thing to do? Seeing things come together will help you enjoy HR everytime the next puzzle comes along !!