‘Intentional’ Articles at Everyday People, Page 21

It’s How You Look At It !!

This past week we lost a comic genius in Robin Williams. It’s sad that he passed because he always seemed to bring joy through his work. I’m one of those who “grew up” with Williams from his stand-up comedy, through Mork & Mindy and all of his movies.

I enjoyed his comedy because he looked at things from a slightly different perspective. His views were frenetic and never predictable !! I think that’s one reason that people loved watching him because you never knew what what coming. I think most would agree that they loved watching Williams and his madness, but they would not be comfortable practicing it themselves.

Having a different perspective on things is never popular. The pressure to stay within the norms of interactions, conversations and actions is huge. If you are an outlier, then people tend to look at you as a disruptive force instead of something inviting.

HR needs to learn from Robin Williams in a couple of ways. The first is that we should be the group that brings the different perspective to situations. We have the opportunity to represent both the employee and the leadership in organizations. Too often we are seen as representing management only. We need to be the voice of both sides and that takes some moxie to stand up and not be aligned to the Company only.

Secondly, we can breathe life into our role and our organizations like Williams did for us. Today, people don’t enjoy coming to work. It’s well documented and publicized to the point that you wonder if anyone enjoys work anymore. We can be the overwhelmingly positive model through HR. Each company has it’s struggles and obstacles, but it’s how you approach things.

One of my favorite Williams’ movies was Good Morning, Vietnam. In it, his character takes the horror of the situation people were involved in and looks at it differently. The humor he brought gave the troops a little light despite the situation they were in. I know what we do on a daily basis doesn’t compare to that type of extreme environment, but bringing a positive viewpoint to what we do is sorely needed !!

This week take the step to start having a different perspective in what you do, how you do it and allow others to bring in different viewpoints as well. Also, make sure you’re taking time to laugh and bring a positive perspective to HR and the employees you get to serve.

Ride the Waves !!

This past week was truly wonderful !! I was on a beach with my family enjoying vacation. Overall, the week was fairly uneventful and relaxing. We did the things we enjoy like playing Euchre, tackling an impossible 1,000 piece puzzle, rounds and rounds of miniature golf and time with our feet in the sand.

I don’t do well just sitting on the beach. I need to move and be a part of the flow of the environment around me. I love watching all of the different people walking by and sincerely wanting to talk to each of them (if it wouldn’t creep them out) and learn about who they are and what they do. I don’t do that . . . much, but the throngs of people fascinate me. I tend to roam up and down the beach to search for shells, look for unique things and take in as much of the experience as I can.

This year we were actually in a condo on the beach. And I mean ON the beach. The endless pulse of the Atlantic Ocean was a constant melody if we were splashing around in the waves, or listening to them as we fell asleep at night. It was a hypnotic symphony that I loved hearing and watching.

My kids and I love bouncing up and down in the waves for hours and hours. We happened to be out in the surf in some rather active waves. In fact, you had to really try to maintain your footing. After fighting this force of nature, you were worn out. We’d catch a breath, grab a drink of water and head right back out into waves.

It reminded me of HR, work and life. It may seem like a stretch, but hear me out. Life comes at all of us in waves. And, like the ocean, the waves never stop. I love it when we expect our employees not to “bring their life” issues to work because that is a flat joke. You can’t wish that people would do this because it’s not possible. Instead, I think we need to have a characteristic that should be in every HR role – resilience. It’s something that we don’t teach, and it’s even hard to think about it. This attribute is needed because waves of different sizes and intensity come at all of our employees every day. Instead of being pulled out by a rip tide, or having the waves of life bury us, we need to be there to pull people up and get them on their feet once again.

Too often we bemoan the circumstances of life that people share with us. We want everything to be just perfect and smooth and get frustrated when it’s not. Being resilient is what is needed instead. If we are the people who can be the example to others, then they will understand they have support. Support is something lacking in most workplaces for our employees. If HR could step in consistently, then people would appreciate this and not be overwhelmed by what comes at them.

Tomorrow, I jump back into the surf, but this time it’s at the office. I can’t wait to be in the waves with all of those around me !!

A Little Piece of My Heart !!

This week has been one of transition. My mother-in-law passed away at the age of 77 after a battle with Parkinson’s disease and dementia. Also, a dear friend of mine, who I sang alongside in our church choir, passed away gracefully at the age of 89. I doubt that few who read this blog know these two great people who impacted my life in tangible, meaningful ways. I am thankful that I can celebrate their lives and what they meant to me.

These two people also had an impact on my amazing wife, Debbie. I don’t mention her much on social forums because she’d prefer to be in the background. You see, she is a perfect reflection of the quote from Jerry Maguire – she completes me. She and I are almost complete polar opposites and everything I do poorly, she does well. I don’t know how my life would look without her. I don’t think it would be nearly as positive and great as it is because she so gracefully and effortlessly fills the voids and blind spots I have.

The majority of the people who touch our lives are more like my wife, my mother-in law and my friend from church. They are meaningful to us individually and the sphere of who they’re connected to varies greatly. Even though I may be personally connected to them, I may not be connected to the other amazing people who they know and interact with.

I want to take the time this week to share something that you may not know. Just like these three wonderful people – you have a piece of my heart !!

Too often, we downplay the impact EVERY single person in our lives has. We keep thinking that people only make an impact if they have visibility, notoriety or celebrity. Sadly, many people keep chasing those shallow attributes of our society thinking it will give more substance and meaning to their lives.

You need to know that YOU matter – at least to me. I don’t take any interaction I have with any person lightly. It may be the one and only time we ever cross paths. That matters. I may not personally see how this affects either your life or mine. But, I know that because you came across my path and in my life – you impacted me and made a difference.

I don’t view life in the manner that most people do. To me, the “humans” are key because my life is not defined by my profession. It’s just what I happen to do.

The losses I experienced this week reminded me that I don’t take enough time to let people who are in my life know how much I value them. I guess I assume they know, but that is a missed opportunity. This is something so critical to all of us as people to communicate how people touch our lives.

Make sure to notice everyone you come across this week !! Don’t ignore, brush off or move past some ONE to some THING you think is more important.

I don’t take our connection lightly. The fact that you would take the time to read this blog as well as connect in person and/or socially drives me and fuels my passion for people more than you know !!

I’m glad you are a piece of my heart !! I know that I am better because of it !!

Image Courtesy of Deviantart.com

All MAC’d Up !!

Sitting in an airport terminal gives you a chance to jot down your thoughts if you build in a bit of time. I’m trying to contain my excitement as I get ready to board my flight to SHRM14 in Orlando !! The actual conference doesn’t kick-off until Sunday, but I’m fortunate to head down early as a SHRM volunteer and member of the Membership Advisory Council (MAC).

The MAC is made up of five volunteer leaders who work with five regions of ten states each throughout the US. I am the 2014 Rep for the North Central Region which is basically the upper midwest section of the country. The MAC meets with SHRM State Directors and volunteers throughout the country and listens to their feedback, concerns and suggestions. We get to take their great input directly to the SHRM Board of Directors as well as other SHRM staff. It’s an incredible opportunity that had a very intentional beginning . . .

You see, I have been a SHRM member for many years now. However, when I began getting involved as a volunteer I was someone who commented on the sidelines about all the things that were “wrong” with the association and my local chapter. I was facilitating a monthly HR Roundtable in the late 90’s and was being more and more vocal about my disdain. Now, you have to know, that I had yet to go to a chapter meeting or SHRM event in person. It was just easier to join the negative throng because people seem to get jazzed about it.

One month after a Roundtable, a very engaged member of the Greater Cincinnati HR Association (GCHRA) confronted me. In fact, she pinned me against the wall !! Now, I’m a fairly tall person and this person was not. It didn’t deter her in the least. She said, “Hey Steve, I’m tired of you taking shots at what we do. You aren’t even involved yourself. In my opinion, you need to either get involved or shut up !!”

I was flabbergasted. This is not stereotypical behavior for an HR person. I admired her fervor though and took her up on her challenge. I decided to run for Vice-President of the chapter even though I’d never been to a meeting. I won. From that time I’ve been fortunate to be the Chapter President, State Conference Director for Ohio and State Council Director. I also still run the HR Roundtable each month and am entering my 15th year of being the facilitator.

I wanted to share this because I keep seeing other HR pros who sit on the sidelines and aren’t connected in their field. You may pay your membership dues, but that only gives you access to a website and a myriad of white papers. The National Conference is now upon us and you have a chance to act. So, consider this me pinning you to the wall.

When you go to SHRM14 – get fully immersed in everything that the conference has to offer. Be intentional in choosing your sessions and get great information that will help you be better in your role within your organization. Go into it seeking the nugget that will transform your approach to HR. Don’t just attend. Be active !!

Hit the Exhibit Hall, the SHRM Bookstore, the various events happening every night and take in all that you can !! Most importantly connected with the other HR pros who will be at the event. You can develop meaningful, professional relationships that could last your entire career. You will be surrounded by people. Be different and engage others instead of rushing from one event to the next.

When that volunteer pinned me to the wall years ago, she lit a fire in me that only continues to grow !! I know that SHRM has its faults and can do things better, just as most organizations do. However, I can only make a difference by being involved. I hope this gives you the spark you need to get involved in HR where you are !! If you get connected to other folks, join a chapter, start an HR blog, etc. you’re taking that next step.

I honestly can’t wait to see each and every person who is going to SHRM14 !! I’ll be the one on fire who will be geeked to meet you !! See you there !!

Listen.

Human Resources is often written about in vast layers and fantastic catch phrases !! When I see posts about “harnessing the synergy of human capital” I start to twitch. One of the shortcomings of what we do is that we try to make it harder than it needs to be. I think that HR has fallen into the trap that if we sound like we’re more intricate, then people will give us more credibility.

Weaving a broader web of terms and efforts that keep the “mystique” of HR as our brand lends itself to more confusion than clarification. When I talk to many of my peers, they share that many companies just “don’t get” them. This has to be frustrating for those practicing HR and those who work with them.

I’d like to show you a simple alternative. Listen.

It’s an overlooked skill and attribute that we don’t practice in HR, or in organizations for the most part. Please understand that I’m not talking about the different “types” of listening highlighted in communication models. It’s much more simple than that.

Our employees want people who will take the time to hear what is on their mind. We tend to think that these requests are such a hassle because we have so much more that is important and needs our attention. I have to work myself to not fall into this approach. I think that we consider the request to listen to people difficult because our mind tends to think the worst will occur. If we were honest about it, we tend to be more negative about people than positive. Our minds start to formulate all the “what if” scenarios that are sure to come up when the conversations occur, and they never come true.

Just this past week I had several requests from both Managers and front-line staff to meet with them. This wasn’t on my schedule or in my planner. The fact was that I had some fairly large projects in front of me that were due. I chose to fight the urge to put these requests to the side and went to meet with each person. I’m glad I did. In each situation, I was able to be the sounding board that was needed at that time. The conversations ranged from personal issues outside of work to difficultly with a manager who seems to be ignoring his staff.

Honestly, it was the best use of my time because the challenges that these employees were facing were only going to grow if someone didn’t listen to them. I think there are three keys to making listening work:

Be Available – That sounds simple, but as I mentioned before, we put other things in front of people all the time. Being available takes discipline and a ton of effort. If you do this, you’ll honestly differentiate yourself from most HR practitioners !!

Don’t Seek Solutions – This goes against the grain of who we are. We don’t feel we’re being good professionals if we don’t come up with the perfect solution to everything we face. You may get a chance to offer a solution, but just listen first. Seriously, listen and see where things go before formulating what could be done.

Be Consistent – You’ll do better to listen to all of your employees and not just those who are problems. The more you listen to people the more you learn. This will allow you to be closer to your team members, and chances are you’ll hear things early on and be able to anticipate how things will move.

Listening is something that has taken me years to learn. It’s tough to admit that but it’s true. I know it makes a difference. This week start listening and see what happens !!

All I Want Is You !!

Desire.

It’s an innate human element. Every person has desires about something. You can determine what those desires are typically by where a person spends their time and money. People can say they desire a variety of things or be more focused. Desires are unique. Even if people are wildly passionate about the same types of things, it’s never really the same.

Desire.

It’s something we want employees to have every day when they come to work. There are countless articles, blogs and efforts about employee engagement. When I see these I think more and more of the effort is on getting “buy-in” as to what a Company offers instead of allowing people to bring their desires to the workplace. We aren’t very comfortable with really allowing people to be who they are.

HR spends an incredible amount of its time and focus on limiting behavior and adding stipulations to systems to make sure people comply and fit in. In fact, most managers talk with the majority of their employees only when needed. That includes sitting down for performance reviews, weekly meetings, etc. More and more of our structures force interactions, but they don’t develop communication or bring out the best in our people.

What if we changed ?? What if HR took the opportunity to be less restrictive and chose to work on ways to bring out the best in people? It’s not the norm in our field by a long shot. It calls for more variety and people assume that more variety will bring instability and chaos. I think that’s not true. There is more variability, but that should allow for genuine diversity and not some trumped up program that makes us “feel better.”

Desire.

Think about it. A workplace that is filled with people who can discuss and share their lives. I don’t think this should be a forced effort in the least. However, HR struggles with this too. I’m not sure why we all have relationships, friendships and interactions rather naturally as a social norm, but we don’t try to foster that in the workplace. I think that if we took the time to not just “talk” with people, but just treat them like the desirous, passionate humans they are, we’d enjoy each other so much more !!

I want to encourage you to take a “U2” approach to this. You have to know that I’m a fierce U2 fan and love all of their work. You could say that following them is one of my desires. One of their fab songs is “All I Want is You.” The song lists many things that someone wants, but the signer responds that all they want is that person. It really is a consuming approach to have the feeling that someone wants you that completely.

I know this is a big step. I also know that it works !! I try to take more and more of my time with my co-workers and find out what drives them. I may not share their same interests, but knowing what they are passionate about is fabulous. It allows me to have more of a connection with them as well as something to check in on when we see each other. It’s very enriching and it makes HR wonderful.

You see in the end – I hope our desire is people.

I Love to Laugh !!

How often are you around little kids? I would have to say that I’m not around them nearly often enough !! Little kids “get it” when it comes to life. They see everything around them as something worth looking at, taking time for, and experiencing. They will do this for their entire day and think that it’s normal. When adults step in to squelch their innate sense of joy and exploration, kids respond with some of the most confused facial expressions possible.

One characteristic that I truly enjoy is hearing children laugh. It’s infectious. They see things that most of us consider mundane or irrelevant, and just flat lose their mind. It’s fantastic !! When a child loses themselves completely in laughter, anyone who is near them will be affected . . . in a good way. They usually bust out in raucous laughter themselves.

I have to confess. I’m a laugher. It’s a loud, belly laugh more often than not. I make sure to laugh every day. Every day. It’s not like I put in a planner or on my To-Do lists. There are just too many things that happen every day that deserve laughter and joy. You never know what it will be, but you will miss it if you’re not looking for it.

I wish more HR people would bring laughter and joy to what they do !! When I get together with my peers, and we can peel back the frustrations of the job, we have more laughs than not. The question is – how can you incorporate more laughter in your workplace? The first thing to do is to take on the philosophy that Charlie Chaplin followed (see the picture).

If you thought that your entire day would be wasted if you didn’t laugh, I bet you’d laugh more often !! There are countless studies that show the healing power of laughter and how it reduces stress. If that’s not enough of an incentive, it also clears the cobwebs and allows you to look at something with a fresh perspective. Any feelings of angst just disappear.

Secondly, you have to take on the Mary Poppins approach where Ed Wynn proudly sings, “I love to laugh, loud and long and clear !!” Laughing out loud is essential. We are way too reserved as HR pros in the workplace. We keep to ourselves and don’t feel that we can express ourselves. That’s truly a shame because we have an opportunity to bring life and excitement to our people, our workplace and our culture. If you chose to look at HR with this perspective, would it change your outlook as to what you do?

This week, stop the grousing and start the chuckling !! Something so simple can be something extremely profound. Look for the laughter. I know I will !!

Friends.

After a great Easter weekend, it’s easy to come back to work because I had the chance to take in something that I value more and more. I hope that I have always valued what I experienced this weekend, but I would have to say that sometimes I take it for granted as well. What am I talking about? Friends.

This weekend for our Easter gathering, my family got together with two of our closest families. Our children are now all young adults and we have been together since the birth/infancy of each of the seven kids. We aren’t related biologically, but these two families are as close and as dear as any family member could be. There was nothing unique, magical, or overwhelming when we got together. We went to church, shared an incredible lunch where everyone pitched in, played outside, laughed, shared stories and memories and ended the day with warm hugs as everyone went on their way.

So, what in the world does this have to do with HR ?? Absolutely everything !!

You see, many HR pros continue to struggle and practice in what they do because they try to gut it out on their own. You can be somewhat effective in this approach, but the key word is “somewhat.” Now, I’m not talking about having a “network” or your own personal “Board of Directors.” Those are important, but this is something more basic and essential.

Because HR folks are in a field that has more challenges than rewards at times, you need friends. Friends are people you can open up with and not fear about being judged. Friends are people you can laugh with, share with and encourage through all types of situations. Friends may have answers for you as a resource. At other times, they might just be present for you when you feel no one else will.

For far too long, HR has been taught that you aren’t supposed to develop relationships at work. You’re supposed to keep an arm’s length distance from others in the event that you have to be the negative voice sometime in the future. This stance has put a dark mark on our profession and the people who practice it. How in the world can we say we’re in a field to care for people, but we’re not allowed to be close to them? It seems way too out of kilter for me.

I do my best to develop as many friendships as possible as I can with other HR folks. I want to make sure that people have at least one person who wants to know who they are, what’s going on in their lives, how things are in their corner of the HR universe, and what they love to do. I usually call folks every night on my long commute home just to check in and see how they’re doing. I don’t schedule it or make it formal. I just call them to let them know that I’m there for them and can’t wait to hear what’s happening in their lives.

When I go to conferences, I do the same thing. I want to meet and get to know as many humans in HR as I can. We need friends. It’s something that keeps us grounded. It’s something that needs to be the norm and not the exception.

So, this week as you head back into work, reach out to someone else in HR. Check in to see how they’re doing. Be a friend. Trust me, you’ll love every moment !!

Image courtesy of Oozie

A Daily Mantra !!

This past week we celebrated a Team Member’s 30th anniversary !! This is a rarity in any organization these days. She truly is beloved. When we sent out the notice that we were going to recognize her, many people, including several Executives and Senior Leaders, cleared their schedules to make sure they were present.

Our recognition program is very personalized. We meet our Team Members during their shift and at their location. We finally learned that recognition needs to be focused on the employee and not the HR program or benevolence of the company !! This simple shift has made recognition meaningful for all involved.

What made this occasion so great was the impact that this Team Member has had. EVERY person who came to say congratulations had worked with her including the CEO and the President of the company !! She has literally touched the lives of an incredible number of people who passed her to take on loftier roles in the organization.

When everyone gathered, there were loads of hugs, laughs and stories shared. She had at least one story about everyone who came. Here’s mine . . .

She is truly unique and salty !! When I started in my role, my first interaction with her was because she had hung signs in the kitchen that said, “Make sure to put away your mother*$#*%ing glasses !!” She heard that HR wanted to talk to her and she was ready for me. I told her that I’d like to take the signs down, and asked her why she felt the need to say these things. She didn’t miss a beat. “Do you see all the glasses sitting around ??” There was never any ill will or intent in her approach.

No one has ever felt threatened or hurt by her coarse language. When I talked to her I got to know her better and she got to know me as well. I make sure to drop by and see her every once in awhile and she says, “Hey, Steve, I haven’t put up any f*#$ng signs lately.” And, we howl !! We’ve both learned from each other over the years.

The whole time we were recognizing Louise, it was very emotional. We shed tears, laughed until it hurt and reveled in the stories from her 30 years with us. It was fantastic !!

As we were wrapping up, the President of the company shared this . . . “Recently, I read that to have a full life people should laugh out loud, cry out loud and touch someone else’s life every day – and Louise that describes you perfectly !!” You can guess that tears flowed freely.

I think it’s something that all of us as humans can take on as our mantra. This isn’t just an “HR” thing. You see I believe that our workplaces are full of people like Louise. It’s just that so many people continue to think that HR’s focus is on the negative. I hate when I hear people trying to learn from HR horror stories because that’s when idiotic policies, procedures and programs come to life.

I could have jumped her when I saw her signs. I could have written up a tenured employee because she was using harsh language. I could have overreacted and jumped to conclusions, created a massive anti-cursing policy with 5 levels of progressive discipline. Or, I could talk to her and hear her side of things.

I’m so glad I took the last approach.

I made sure I was Louise’s last hug. It was warm, caring and I told her how much she meant to me and to the lives of so many. She pulled back and said, “Thank You. Now get out of here you . . . “

I Need a Hero !!

We drove to the theater with great anticipation hoping to get tickets in time for the 7:45pm showing of the brand new Captain America: The Winter Soldier. The great ticket seller at the box office confused us when he said, “7:45 ?? The next show is at 7:15pm.” We were early, but that meant we couldn’t get dinner before we went to see the show. We decided to stay and head in to the theater. The staff had us stand against the wall and form a line because the prior showing hadn’t ended. We were an hour early.

As we stood there, the line to get in grew . . . and grew . . . and grew. I didn’t remember a line forming before a movie like this since I saw the various Star Wars movies as a teenager. Everyone was patient, but you could feel the energy building and building as we got closer to the showtime. The line was opened, and my son and I walked in and got the perfect seats for us. The entire venue was filled in the next 10 minutes.

I didn’t know if others had a tradition like I do with my teenage son. You see, every superhero movie that comes out means that we will be there to watch it. I think we’ve made every Marvel, DC Comics, and smaller brand movies that have been released. It is a shared experience that I truly cherish !!

It was a great movie !! (You really should see it !!) I loved it because Captain America is “odd” compared to most superheroes and most people in general. You see, he’s completely selfless. He is 100% others focused. I love this attribute about him and want to encourage this in others as well.

By the incredible turnout at the movie, I can surmise that people find this attribute attractive as well. We don’t see it often enough. We live in a society, and work in companies, that are more self-focused than others-focused. It seemed that people are looking for a “hero” of some sort.

I’m not going to get into the definition of what a “hero” is because most heroes are active behind the scenes doing things that others never notice. You see, I believe you can be heroic by being there for others and meeting their needs. It doesn’t have to be something magnificent, but it does need to be something tangible.

So often in HR, and in articles about culture, we focus on making sure to identify the WIIFM (What’s In It for Me) factor. What if YOU were what’s in it for others? What if YOU chose to reach out and be there to meet the need of someone else in work, life or the community?

What would happen if YOU helped someone else AND expected nothing in return? I think the world would be an amazing place !! I know that it’s unlikely that many people will read this and try this, but I believe that the “Captain America” effect can happen in your life and in the lives of others.

So, this week shed your ego. Open your eyes and see who could use a hero. Then step up and act. You’ll be glad you did !!