Tag: employees

Be the Bridge !!

When Winter rears it’s ugly head, it often forces you inside. That can either be insufferable, or a chance to get indoor projects done that you haven’t been able to get to. We’re on the projects end of the spectrum. This weekend’s project was to paint our master bedroom. I looked forward to it because I love to paint !! I mean it. I love painting indoors because it turns out to be me and my iPod.

Yes, I said iPod. You see I have an iPod Classic with 12,400+ songs loaded onto it. When I turn it on and hit shuffle, I escape into every song, and it makes any task I take on seem easy. What could easily become mundane because of its difficulty, now becomes lively and time flies. As I dipped the roller into the tray, I heard the beautiful voice of Art Garfunkel of the immortal duo Simon & Garfunkel. His beautiful lilting voice started singing the beautiful ballad “Bridge Over Troubled Water.”

Every time I hear this song played, I get misty. I really do. It’s a gorgeous melody with haunting lyrics that hit you right from the start. Here’s a snippet . . .

“When you’re weary, feeling small; When tears are in your eyes, I’ll dry them all”

The song talks about someone willing to be present for someone who’s going through something difficult. The imagery is that they are willing to be the bridge for their friend in order for them to reach the other side of whatever they’re facing.

The reason this song resonates so much for me is that this how I view HR. I truly feel that we need to be the bridge for others who need it. I know that this runs contrary to the current trend to keep a clear distance from people. Please note that I agree with, and understand, that there are boundaries that should always be respected. However, people are coming to work every day aching. I feel they don’t share what’s going on either because they don’t feel they’ll genuinely be heard, or they feel that they’ll be blown off because their personal situation isn’t “work.”

How long can we continue this disinterested stance and feel that we’re being effective? I can hear the resistance that is rising even as I type this. If we don’t watch it, HR is going to make itself so disconnected that there won’t be a reason for us to exist. We have to step in, reach out and be the bridge for others. You have to trust me, from personal experience, that whenever I’ve been a bridge builder great results have occurred. It hasn’t always meant that the person’s situation was completely addressed or that they even stayed with the company. However, the personal touch that they yearned for occurred and started something positive in the midst of the “troubled waters” they were facing.

I also think HR people stop being a bridge themselves because they’ve had a bad experience and have been burnt. This never good and is a definite risk. I do think it’s a risk worth taking though because this is more of an exception than the rule. Another factor that makes HR pros hesitate in being bridge builders is that we don’t have someone who will be our bridge when we face difficulties ourselves.

I know that I seem to be shouting a similar message over and over, but HR people need to understand that our peers can be a bridge. I have many very close friends that I can reach out to who also reach out to me. It’s not some hokey, professional camaraderie. They are genuine relationships that have developed over social media and also in person.

If you don’t have HR peers who are bridge builders, you need to find ones. I will also put this out there . . . I’m willing to be the first person to reach out. You don’t have to face what you’re doing alone. I mean it. You reach out and I’ll be there.

It’s time for us to realize that we have an incredible opportunity in front of us. Please join me in reaching out. Be the bridge !!

Image from Successories

Weathering the Storm !!

This past weekend we were caught off guard. Our winter in West Chester (just north of Cincinnati) has been unseasonably mild. There have been a few cold days sprinkled in through December and January with far more rain than frost or snow. People were getting comfortable with the higher temperatures, and it lulled us to sleep.

We received a notice of a winter storm warning, but we were skeptical. Many, many times our meteorologists make predictions of doom and destruction while a dusting of snow barely covers the tips of the grass. We had 3 to 4 inches fall between Friday and Saturday which is a nuisance, but it didn’t shut things down (as the local news outlets had hoped). Overnight we were supposed to get 1 to 2 more inches. Not really something to fret over.

View of our backyard !!

Waking up this morning, we were truly surprised. We didn’t get 1 to 2 inches we got 8 inches !! THAT shut things down to start the day. I was planning to head to church and my son was planning on leaving to return for his final semester of college. I did get out on the road, but it was very tentative. I grew up in a part of Ohio that was used to many inches of snow. So, I’m pretty comfortable driving in snowy and icy conditions. Many, however, aren’t. Whenever snow hits here, you’ll see several cars spin out, swerve off the road or get crinkled by running into something or someone.

The experience I had this weekend is typical of most situations we face personally and in our organizations. We hear warnings and we may, or may not, heed what’s predicted. The signs of a challenge are all around us, but we don’t think things will be “that” bad. We take the chance that we can get through whatever comes, and many times we can.

However, there are storms that do hit very hard. These usually are unpredictable and the circumstances and situations can seem insurmountable. Whenever storms do hit, you have some choices you can make.

Stay Inside

It’s an option most choose. There is safety in making this choice because you’re in the surroundings where you’re most comfortable. You also probably stocked up and have all of the supplies you need. There’s nothing wrong with staying warm and cozy.

Get Overwhelmed

I hate to be negative, but storms can bury you. That’s a reality. If a storm presents itself to be so large as to overwhelm you, make sure you have a lifeline to get help. Trying to tackle life on your own is reckless. There’s no value in being a martyr who has every burden stack on them time after time. I realize that people are more isolated than ever these days. Change that and reach out to connect with folks who will be there when the storms hit.

Venture Out

You can grab a shovel and take on the conditions that attempt to keep you stymied. It’s not easy to dig out, and it will wear you out. It’s hard to face challenging conditions. At times though, we need to go through the storm in order to get to the other side which will be even brighter than anything the storms throws at us.

Storms happen. We don’t look forward to them, but that doesn’t stop them from coming. As an HR professional, remember this because you are surrounded by people that are either in the midst of storms, or one is on the horizon. You have the chance to help them with their choice when it hits. You can help them hunker down and stay safe. You can offer empathy and support to help them not to get overwhelmed. You can also encourage them and stand with them as they venture out to face the storm swirling around them.

I don’t think there’s an option to avoid and let people just slog through storms. We need to respect how much a person is willing to let us assist them, but just leaving them alone isn’t acceptable in my opinion. You may be the ONE person who makes a difference because you chose to care.

I think HR folks should venture out !! This week take a look at those you work with and assess the weather. You need to be ready because a storm is sure to be on its way . . .

Guard !! Turn !! Parry !!

When I was young, I loved getting up early on Saturday mornings to watch cartoons !! They were fantastic. I would get a bowl of cereal and sit in front of the glowing screen for hours. I especially enjoyed Looney Toons with the hilarious characters of ranging from Bugs Bunny to Daffy Duck. They were five to seven minutes of incredible action, story line and humor. Most of the humor, to be honest, was above my head. That didn’t matter though because they were so different than the other shows that were on.

One of my favorite cartoons was Robin Hood Daffy which featured Daffy Duck as Robin Hood and Porky Pig as Friar Tuck. Daffy is exasperated to prove to Porky that he is, in fact, Robin Hood. Porky is suspicious and thinks that Daffy is a bumbling buffoon who is far from the hero who robs from the rich and gives to the poor. Most of the cartoon proves that Porky is right.

In one scene Daffy is crossing a log over a stream with a long stick which he uses for several moves, but ends up hitting himself in the face and bending his bill back towards his face. He tries the moves over and over with the same result. He even talks his way through it with confidence exclaiming, “Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!,” and then “Sproing!” his bill snaps back. During this endless, futile exercise, Porky steps up with a small stick and thwarts Daffy by inserting it into his moves during his spin. It’s hilarious !!

The reason I bring this up is that I find that most HR people spend so much time going through much of the same futile regimen that Daffy Duck does with the same result. Instead of being intentional and direct with people we dodge, spin, guard, parry and thrust. The only thing missing is screaming the “Ho Ha !!” distraction. Doesn’t that just tire you out? The constant maneuvering to skirt along the edges of employee interactions just in case you’re called into action. Inevitably, an employee comes up with their small stick and throws you into the stream.

HR should never be the buffoon that has to try to prove who they are either. It’s another giant waste of energy and time. We are looking for constant affirmation and acknowledgement by those that may, or may not, matter within the organization. This too is tiring and is discouraging for those who practice Human Resources.

Look, it’s a New Year. Let’s not be the Looney Toon character anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I think there’s immeasurable room for humor, color and animation !! Those things bring life to ourselves, others and organizations as a whole. I would just encourage you to no longer go through wasted motions that seem like thrashing around just to be seen as busy. Be intentional. Be among your employees. Be spectacular and give them the HR professional they deserve !! When you do that, you’ll be working alongside the great people you have and quit having to pull yourself out of the stream.

Leo

This past weekend I stepped out of my normal surroundings and into my past. My wife and I, along with two other couples, went to visit another couple, Clay and Kelly in rural Carroll County, Ohio. They live in a wonderful house located on a 400 acre farm. It’s a beautiful landscape made up of rolling hills, streams, fields of grain, cattle along with a few chickens.

This was a step into my past because I grew up on, or around, farms. My grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins have  run farms for generations. I loved farm living because you were outside between 90% to 95% of your day. My imagination ran wild as I created worlds around me by playing in pastures, fields and barns. I fondly remember helping out where I could with chores, fixing things and hanging around the various barn animals.

That brings me back to this weekend. I took in every, single moment and loved once again being outside with the sights, smells and sounds of the farm. I even got to make a new friend – Leo !! Leo is one of the steers on the farm who loves to eat treats from your hand. It was great to hear him eagerly moo as he quickly skipped up to the fence to say, “Hi !!”

What does this trip have to do with HR ?? – Everything.

You see, my friend Clay is a fellow HR practitioner who also farms. Kelly is a nurse who also farms. If you met them in their “normal” job, you wouldn’t readily know much more about their lives unless they shared it with you.

We are surrounded by people each and every day, and yet  we know so little about each other. If we were honest about it, we don’t really want to know because having conversations about someone’s life outside of work would cut into our “precious” time. Isn’t that sad?

I know that this type of time investment has been a regular theme of mine lately. I think that’s because I know that learning more about the people around us makes an incredible impact. People are almost shocked that you’d step out of your self-focused bubble to learn about them. I’ve found that the more I learn about others, the more meaningful our relationship is professionally.

I know this may be out of the norm for most people, but look at it this way. Someone in your life has taken an interest in you and what you were experiencing at least once. I’d wager it’s happened many times. Tap into the feeling that occurred when someone took the time to take interest in you. Remember how great it felt and then turn it towards others around you.

This week try something different. Instead of launching into the lives of everyone, reach out to a peer in HR. Learn who they are outside of what they do professionally. Set aside time to see how much more in depth their lives really are. I’m sure they’ll be touched you did.

And, who knows, you may get to meet your own Leo !!

Choose

A new workweek is upon us. I’m sure it’s going to be filled with both challenges and opportunities. If you’re like most people, you probably feel that the challenges far outweigh the opportunities. That may not be the case, but it gives you the illusion that you’re going to be better at your job because you feel that solving problems is why you exist.

I think taking this position is difficult personally. If our days our chock full of a majority of challenges, then how can we see any glimmer of hope? I don’t mean to make light of the conditions of other’s lives. That would be short sighted and presumptuous.

I want to throw something out there that may seem naive, but I find it to be true. In the midst of all that is swirling around us, we have a choice on how to start our day. Every. Day. We can either make the conscious decision to be positive or not. I used to think that the choice was positive or negative, but that is too much of a generalization.

Choosing to be positive frames everything even in the middle of legitimate challenges. It’s not naive, but it is difficult. Most forces in our personal lives and our lives at work want us to focus on what’s wrong as the point where things start. That gives us a jumping off point to move away from because the less something is broken, the more we have a sense of accomplishment.

In HR we are constantly surrounded by people. People who are going through life just like we are. It’s easy to hear how people are facing their days and become sarcastic and embittered. You get tired of the unending waves of struggle. There doesn’t seem to be a viable way out. So, you get swallowed along with it.

Choosing to be positive changes the playing field because you don’t enter the encounters you have with others as something you’re obligated to solve. You may get a chance to be part of a solution, but it doesn’t have to be your only purpose. When you approach others expecting things to be positive regardless of what you come across, you put yourself in a position to be available. That, honestly, is more than most people expect when it comes to daily interactions.

I know this is a big ask, but I want to put an option out there for others. There needs to be something for you to latch on to because what you do matters. When you spend time with people you may be the one spark that turns the tide for them.

This week choose.

 

Allow Grace

Have you ever made a mistake at work? Have you ever talked poorly about someone else you work with, or that you know, without that person knowing about it? Have you ever disappointed someone else because you didn’t follow through on what you said you’d do? Have you ever said something that you thought was harmless, but it hurt someone deeply?

The answer for me is a resounding “Yes” to all of the questions listed above. I’m not proud of that, but it’s a reality. I’m human. I’m sure to fall and fail others. Hopefully that’s not intentional, but it could be. I could have filled this entire post with more questions which feature how people fall short of positive and/or ideal behavior.

The challenge in today’s workplace, and in society overall, is that when we fail each other that there is no room for grace. We demand an instant response along with a staunch stance to be taken that has little room for a right/wrong position. We usually want others to hear our opinion and then we make arguments for others to come to our side. In the midst of this type of reaction, we completely run over our humanity.

Now, please understand that I’m talking about when someone makes a mistake and is insensitive or thoughtless about others and their feelings and/or diverse viewpoint. I’m not talking about overt actions and/or poor behavior. That is at a much deeper, and more concerning, level. Poor behavior should always be addressed. Even then though, I would offer that you can allow grace when entering into these difficult situations.

As HR professionals, we are daily in the midst of people. (At least I hope you are !!) People are messy and will fail each other. It’s unavoidable. When it occurs we have a choice. We can either rely on a system of unrealistic policies and procedures as a list of do’s/don’ts as our response, or we can be humans ourselves.

I would recommend that you try a new approach and allow grace to occur.

This may be foreign to you, and I can almost guarantee that it’s foreign to how employees have been approached in the past. We don’t feel that we have the latitude in our roles to show grace to others when they mess up. I just don’t think it’s true. We have more latitude and ownership in how we approach others because it’s our own personal style.

I know that when others have shown me grace when I’ve stumbled, I’ve been thankful. It allowed both of us to breathe, calm down and look at the situation in a fresh and open way. More often than not, it led to a productive outcome and a stronger relationship. Trust me when I say that allowing grace in our interactions with others will be positive most of the time.

This week buck the trend of others who tend to be reactive and destructive when people fail them. Instead of talking ABOUT others, talk TO them with an attitude of grace first so that you seek to understand them, the situation they’re facing and how to potentially move forward. If you try this, I think you’ll see the people aren’t as bad as you think. Also, it will make HR, and your life, more balanced and fulfilled. It works.

Glory Days !!

This past weekend I traveled back to my hometown for a sobering event. The father of a dear friend of mine from high school passed away. I know this isn’t unique to any of us because we will all face the loss of those who are close to us at some time or another. I relished the opportunity to go back to my hometown because it’s like going inside a Norman Rockwell painting. Seriously.

I grew up in Ada, Ohio which has 5,600ish residents. It’s the type of place where everyone knows everyone and has for generations. I went to a school where every grade, Kindergarten through 12th Grade, was in one building (and still is). Walking into the Ada Baptist Church was like walking back in time. I immediately saw dear friends that I unfortunately hadn’t seen for anywhere from between 10 to 30 plus years. However, it was like we never missed a beat.

My friends from my hometown !! (Left to Right) Me, Dave West, Jeff Gossell, Bill Kent, Mark Browne and Joe Simmons

After a beautiful service and celebration of my friend’s father, we all gathered in the Fellowhip Hall for a meal and a chance to catch up. I immediately hooked up with my High School classmates and we asked about what has happened since we last saw each other. Then, we shared memories and laughed. We laughed so hard and so long, my ribs ached and my head hurt. It was magnificent !!

The time flew by and we didn’t want it to end. We all exchanged our contact information and agreed to get together again soon because we all agreed that we had waited far too long. It was bittersweet to leave the church and head back into my regular life. I did get to hang out with my brother and parents for a few more precious hours before I headed home.

As my wife and I headed back towards our home two hours away, I reflected on the day. I was thankful that she was so incredibly supportive and allowed me to reconnect with my mates. It made me also realize something that I had overlooked way too often.

The people in our lives on purpose. (Even if it’s only for a small slice of time.)

We walk through each day caught up in endless distractions all begging for our attention. Most of those, by the way, we seek out even though we complain about them. There are tons of people who move in and out of our days. Do you take the time to notice them? Or, do you take them for granted because they serve some functional role that is yet another cog in  your day?

You’re missing out on so much because it isn’t a mistake that these folks are in your life. That includes your family, your friends, your co-workers and the folks you encounter when you go to various places. As HR professionals, we need to wake people up so that they stop running to keep up with everything to intentionally connect with the humans all around them.

This is an opportunity for us to lead in our organizations. It shouldn’t take a significant life event or business calamity to bring people together.

I know that I was fortunate to grow up in a quaint town with an amazing family. To have friends that I still can hang out with is also a blessing. I don’t think this has to be an exception. I think it can be your norm.

This week pause, stop and breathe. Then, reflect on someone in your life that you may have drifted from that you’d like to see how their life is going. I know they’d appreciate it, and so would you.

Understand that others are in your life on purpose !!

Treat people this way and see how your life begins to enrich and grow. I hope you’ll get a chance to share great memories and new experiences as well !!

Just Flourish !!

Unless you’re a self-avowed hermit, you’re surrounded by people. It’s inevitable that there are humans around you the majority of your day. Since that is the environment you find yourself in, you have a choice to embrace it or avoid it. This isn’t due to where you fall on the extroversion/introversion scale. You will choose how much human interaction works for you – and you should. We all have a limit. If we cross that, we tend to get frustrated, flustered and annoyed.

Being with people is more than just swimming among others as you pass through the hallways to their office/cubicle to have work related conversations. That type of interaction is necessary in order for good work to be accomplished. I would almost categorize those instances as “forced.” I don’t mean that you are reluctant to have conversations. It’s more like you have work conversations in order to get the next facet of your work at hand to move forward. They can be friendly, cantankerous or obligatory. They happen whether you “wanted” to have them or not.

The difficulty I see that happens all around me is that these pass by conversations make up the vast majority of communication today. It’s not only at work either. When people are using social media, you get quick snippets of partial thoughts. Or, you may get a picture in time of a great event or accomplishment. People taking time at home to truly interact without distraction is becoming an extinct approach. Again, I’m not making a right/wrong judgement here. It’s our reality and we need to acknowledge it. However, it doesn’t have to define us !!

Taking time to develop relationships has become a lost art. Unfortunately, the word “relationship” has been tarnished because of the unacceptable actions of some. That doesn’t have to be the case. Investing your time with others is incredibly valuable, and also necessary !!

We are never fulfilled when we only have pass-by conversations. We feel that something is missing because we can’t keep current with the pace. We don’t push through it enough because we’re concerned that the other person won’t reciprocate. I haven’t found that to be the case. In fact, I think people flourish when you give them your intentional time and attention.

I’d like to propose a different approach for you personally and especially if you’re in HR. Choose to have relationships that flourish !!

I think there are different gradients in this and you need to read the other person to see when they feel that things are full. Respect that. I mean it. Flourishing relationships have balance, mutual levels of input and especially authenticity. You can’t “fake it to  you make it” and have a meaningful friendship.

I’ve mentioned this in the past, but I use my commute differently than most. I’m in the car about an hour each way to and from work. Every night I call people and have long conversations. We talk about work, HR, life, etc. There are inevitable times of laughter as well as times of deep philosophy. We may argue various styles of music and ask for each other’s support in the situations we are each facing in life.

The point is this. I want to pour into their lives so that they will pour into the lives of others !! I know that every moment I can invest in the lives of others that they will invest in others as well. When this happens, then lives improve. When lives improve, relationships improve. And, when relationships improve that grows into other relationships to improve the workplace. This isn’t Utopian. It works.

So, this week in the midst of the pass-by snippets of conversation that will still fly around you, invest in someone. Start with a close friend. Make that relationship flourish and then build from there. You’ll be glad you did !!

The Best Present !!

As the clock ticks toward Christmas, the hype and push for more purchasing increases. It almost reaches a frenetic pace. It seems that the message is that if you don’t make that one final purchase, then your entire holiday season will be less wonderful. The stress that people put on themselves and others in order to gain one more gift that will keep their interest for a day or less is incredible.

Please understand that this isn’t a rant against the cultural trappings of Christmas. My house if fully decorated in almost every room and our light display outside can be seen for blocks. I look forward to going to worship for Christmas Eve and singing Silent Night with a lighted candle in my hand. I enjoy Christmas time and all of it’s sounds, smells and sights. It is a time for me to explore my faith and look forward to the coming year ahead.

This year, something hit me more directly than it had before. I finally have come to terms with what the best present is that I can give someone else. You can’t find it in any store or on any website. It is the easiest gift to give, and yet it often is the hardest to willingly release.

The best present I can give anyone is my presence !!

The one thing I have the most of is my time. It’s something that my family and friends deserve without distraction. I’ve said this before, but I feel it needs to be said again and again. I have more time than I know what to do with. If I don’t have enough time, it’s because of what I choose to do with the time I have. I’m not unique in this. It’s the truth for everyone. The challenge is that we’d rather give people “stuff” than we would ourselves.

I would love to see this change in the coming year. I’d love to see people being present when they have conversations at work, in HR and wherever you encounter others. It may seem impossible because we’re so connected to countless forms of technology. We can’t seem to peel away for even one minute in case we miss a “like”, a retweet or a video. We rarely look up to see the eyes of those we’re talking to. This is happening in meetings, hallways and break rooms.

I’m not against being connected. Far from it. I enjoy the various forums that have allowed me to become more and more connected with folks from around the globe. What I’m asking you to consider is that when you are having a conversation with someone, pay attention to them – and them only. This will take a concerted effort and won’t feel natural. You’ll have to trust me that if you do this, both your day and the day of the person you’ll talking to will improve. It won’t matter if the situation is easy or difficult. What will matter is that the person you’re talking to will see that you’re present. It’s worth your time to listen, and it will be something so different than what others are normally used to.

This year, give a gift to others that you already have – yourself.

 

Moved to Tears

The holidays seem to raise the level of emotions everywhere you go. My wife has the Hallmark Channel on seemingly 24/7 to take in every Christmas movie she can. I peek in every once in awhile as well. It’s great to watch a story with a positive ending !! The mad rush of people gathering gifts that they feel compelled to give to others that may/may not need them. People are more generous during this season and do more to volunteer their time and resources to worthwhile causes.

There also heightened levels of stress, depression and a myriad of feelings when it comes to family gatherings, times of  worship and the inevitable holiday parties at work. All of those make me even more sensitive to my surroundings. You see, I’m emotional all of the time. I know. I know. Everyone is emotional all of the time. However, I am moved at the slightest movement of emotions all around me.

It may sound a little odd, but I am swallowed by the emotions of others. It isn’t just media that I watch. It’s everything. I can be moved to tears by a conversation that happens in my office that wasn’t expected in the least. I always have a ready box of tissue for those who visit me, and for me as well. I realize that there are many folks who view this as a weakness both personally and professionally. There are blogs written about keeping our emotions in check all the time. We are scolded and told to keep those pesky feelings to ourselves. We are to gather for “work” for goodness sake !!

Can’t do it. Won’t do it. It’s difficult to sense the ups and downs of those that work with me and not be affected myself. I’ve shed tears when having conversations with my staff, my boss, executives, volunteer leaders, pizza cooks and many more. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t weep daily. I just make sure to stay open and willing to engage people based on how they’re feeling.

I believe it’s far more valuable to be vulnerable than it is to be jaded.

There are risks in being someone who is moved to tears. There are those who will work with you who will be vocal and may even scoff or deride you. I don’t agree with pitting people against each other ever. It’s detrimental to a company’s culture and it’s leadership. I believe that people should be genuine. Period.

I feel that employees are looking for an HR function that understands the emotions they experience. They aren’t hoping for a system, process or policy. It’s so much more simple than what many consider “go to” methods to practice HR. People want to be heard, acknowledged and understood. That means getting emotional.

I want to encourage you to stop bottling in all that is going on when the feelings and emotions of others come at you. It’s not healthy, and it will assuredly lead to burnout, judgement of others and bitterness. None of those things will allow you to be an effective human resources practitioner.

My kids often poke fun because I’ll get misty at human interest stories at the end of a newscast, a SC Featured story on ESPN, or an episode of This is Us. I will even hear a piece of music and my eyes will well up. I’m good with that. You see, I don’t view being moved to tears as something that makes me a lesser person. I do it because I strive to see the beauty in others. I hope you will too.

(Here’s an example that gets me every time. It is just beautiful !! Take a few minutes out of your day to enjoy Freddie Mercury from Queen and acclaimed soprano Monserrat Cabellé. Yep, shed a tear when I posted it.)