‘Difference’ Articles at Everyday People, Page 4

HR Haka !!

A new workweek is upon us. How are you doing? Are you ready for what’s ahead? Have you bought into the pattern that Mondays are supposed to be horrid and a sluggish way to start the week? Are you someone that needs some motivation to get moving that even coffee can’t address? Worse yet, are you filled with dread or anxiety?

It is astonishing to me that we have perpetuated the idea that workweeks are destined to start poorly, work to some roller coaster hump mid-week, and then careen blissfully to the release at the end of the week so we can just get away from everything and everyone. Makes you want to wake up and jump to the commute doesn’t it?

Pile on top of this that we don’t fill our thoughts going in to work with positive vibes about people either. It’s true. We don’t anticipate seeing smiles and warm welcomes. We expect the worst, and we get it. It reinforces our malaise and we strap our our martyr gear and jump into the fray. Welcome to what HR has become !!

But wait . . . .

Why buy into the “norm” ?? Who is the person or entity that we can hang this on? The answer stares at you in the mirror every morning as you don your work clothes and head out into the midst of your work.

You are the reason this attitude and approach exists. It’s not others who cast their nets of darkness on you. They may be doing this, but if you’re defeated before you even enter the office, then you’re already conceding the worst is about to occur.

At SHRM16 this year, one of the keynote speakers was Dr. Amy Cuddy from Harvard University. She wrote a spectacular book called Presence which calls for people to bring their “boldest self” to their biggest challenges. Her work shows how that even though we teach fierce independence in our western society, most people are far from bold. She had great research and examples of people who felt open enough to embrace being bold.

One of my favorite things she shared was a video of the New Zealand All Blacks rugby team and their pre-game ritual where they get geeked before a match by performing a haka. According to Wikipedia the haka is “traditional war cry, dance or challenge from the Maori people of New Zealand.” When they perform this, they are facing their opponent and they are so animated and intense !! It’s awesome !!

When I gave my presentation, I encouraged all of the folks in HR that we should do a haka every day before we start a thing. Think about it !! It would absolutely freak out your staff and other employees if they heard you getting ready to face the day this way. I showed everyone how mine would look and it felt freeing.

Imagine this. Starting your day boldly, intentionally and fiercely !! All of the junk that tends to want to clutter our mind and our efforts blows away and disappears. Also, you’re ready to be proactive and jump into whatever comes your way willingly.

It’s overdue my HR friends. People will be bold if we are bold first !! Shake off the Monday blahs and get ready. It’s time for your HR Haka !!

Tall Tales !!

This weekend my wife and I had a date night seeing the musical, Big Fish, which was based on the novel and movie of the same name. It was a spectacular performance that captured you from the moment it began.

A quick summary . . .

The story contrasts the relationship of a father and son who have completely different perspectives on life. The father spins incredible tales where he is the hero. The son is cynical and skeptical about all of the amazing adventures of his father. He can’t fathom why his dad takes things and blows them out of proportion with endless exaggeration. The son wants life to be rational, logical and linear. This difference pulls them apart almost to the point of ruining their relationship.

Throughout the musical, my wife kept nudging me sharply in the ribs. You see, I am a storyteller. I always have been and actually took a class in college to learn how to interpret and share stories. I believe that you can make almost any situation come to life. It’s intriguing though to see how others view this. In the workplace, most people want you to “get to the facts” because they feel that other items outside of this are a waste of time. Their time.

Isn’t it interesting that we feel that time is wasted only if it affects us personally? I understand that people are self-centered, but there has to be a way around this. I don’t think you have to settle on this as a barrier. If we succumb to allowing everyone to be self-centered, you end up with a workplace made up of fierce individuality and no collaboration. People need to work together. You can’t avoid it.

When you go to conferences, or other HR events, you see people drawn to people who are storytellers. In fact, people will listen to those types of sessions even if they have little content. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you should ever go to sessions that don’t have content. However, when everything is facts, numbers, quotes and rational thought, it’s just dry. It’s accurate and relevant but lifeless.

In HR we tend to get frustrated because we keep taking a rational approach first. We wonder why people don’t just “get it” and stay within the parameters we establish. They work on paper every time, but fall apart once you introduce them to humans. I love this and think it’s fascinating because instead of trying another approach, we build more and more policies and procedures thinking that we’ll have an intricate enough structure which will finally limit and control behavior.

Try stories because they work. When we were children our parents read us stories to expand our vision and horizons. Weaved within these tales were lessons of do’s and don’ts that applied to our life at that formative time. We think those work for kids, but are senseless for adults. Organizations take great pride in beating the child and the fun out of people because we expect them to come to “work.”

Let me clear something up. You can’t get people to be stronger performers when you wrap things in stories. We love to hear tales of how to do things, and do them well. We also love to hear of magnificent failure and how to learn from it. We talk about engagement of others, but we need to be engaged ourselves first.

This week lead with a story. Share an experience. Tell a tall tale. Watch what happens when you see someone start to pay attention when they were indifferent in the past. Their interest will peak and they will hang on your words as you spin a story to make what they do come to life. I guarantee you will also enjoy what you do more as well. HR deserves life in all it does. Bring it !!

Mom.

In very early 1964 on an Army base in Nuremberg, Germany (West Germany at the time), a young woman became a mother for the first time. The challenge was that her son was one month premature. The doctor’s reassured her and did everything they could to take care of this newborn. He spent time in an incubator, but eventually became healthy enough to head home.

As if this wasn’t enough, her young husband had volunteered to serve in the Army and he was about to take one of four tours to Vietnam to fight for his country. After the young family returned to the States, the young mother had a second son in Columbus, Georgia. Soon after this, her husband who served as a Staff Sergeant fell ill. He battled the best he could, but cancer won and left her with a 4 year-old and a 2 year-old.

She returned back to her small rural hometown, Luckey, Ohio (yes it is a place !!) and went to college while she held a full-time job. She earned her Bachelor’s in Education and became a teacher in a vocational school. She later earned her Master’s Degree and worked 30+ years teaching students to become Administrative Assistants. She remarried after being a widow nine years and she will be celebrating her 40th anniversary with this great man in June 2016.

She always encouraged her two sons to do their best and expected them to excel. She was always positive and wanted both of them to succeed. Throughout her life she has focused on others in her church, her community and in her school. Whenever, she meets anyone she gives them her full attention, and is genuinely interested in who they are and what they are sharing. Quick to laugh as well as shed an emotional tear, you know that she is fully invested in you. Most of the time that ends up in deeply warm hugs when she sees you and when she leaves.

Her two sons have been very blessed and fortunate as well. One is a doctor who now serves as an executive in a large healthcare system in Tennessee, and her other son is an executive for a regional pizzeria working in Human Resources !! She welcomed two amazing women when they chose to get married (25+ years both) and she still is enamored with her five grandchildren who are now all young adults.

Just this weekend, she saw her granddaughter, who earned her B.S. in Psychology as a summa cum laude, become a college graduate. Being the consummate Mom, she brought snacks of monster cookies and trail mix that she made which she gave her granddaughter, her grandson and their parents. Each paper lunch bag had their names on them (of course), and she took enough pictures to fill a photo album !!

By now, I hope you know this is my mother, Connie. She has left an indelible legacy on me and her family that will last eternally. She’s honestly the type of person that never talks about herself only others. However, when you get a chance to talk to the people whose lives she has touched, you only hear about her.

It’s odd to me that we only set aside one day a year for Mothers. Moms don’t get days off and they deserve our appreciation every day of the year. I am so fortunate to be from a family that is full of positivity, faith and selflessness. It’s been a great model to learn from and, hopefully, share with others in my life.

Over the years there have been far more hugs than tears. Far more lasting memories than struggles. And, far more love, joy and stories that will never fade. She continues to be someone who deeply touches everyone she encounters naturally.

Thanks mom.

Be An Influencer !!

I’ve been active and visible on Social Media forums for many years now. I enjoy them immensely and find them to be great methods of connecting with others across the globe, a simple mechanism to share the work of others and an overall great way to communicate. If you’ve been out here for any length of time, you see lists. The lists have great intent, but often bring up harsh emotions.

People struggle with lists if they aren’t included, and that reaction is senseless. One of the serious downsides to social media is that we are so fixed on wanting to see our name, face, and posts. We measure and obsess over the number of shares, likes, retweets and followers we have. It’s odd because they are just ways of measurement. How can something not have value if you’re not included ??

I understand that many folks use social media to conduct business, make sales and establish/maintain their brand. I’m all for it, but it gets way too much of our attention and it seems one-sided. A great example of this where you see people really jump is when people are considered “influencers” in these lists.

I have a feeling that the moment influencer lists are published, the doubt, skepticism and scoffing ensues. When it does, it’s brutal and unfortunate. I’m sure when people were compiling their lists, they had the hope that who they listed would be geeked and share that they were included. That happens, but the wave of sentiment against the lists far exceeds those who are excited.

The overall problem to all of this is that I think we’ve absolutely missed what influencing others means. It has so little to do with social media, but that’s where we feel it should be. Influence naturally lies within all of us. The question is whether we recognize and own it or not.

You see, in HR, we are rarely alone. We swim in a sea of people. Unfortunately, I hear too many of my peers complain about this constant reality. We miss the opportunity to truly “influence” people because we tend to down play our interactions with others. Instead, we give our attention to the situation or problem we’re addressing, and then coming up with some rock solid solution.

If the only reason you’re in HR is to solve other’s problems, change occupations.

People aren’t problems. We may all have problems and struggles in some fashion, but to immediately categorize someone as someone to fix, you have a negative view of humans.

Influence can be, and should be, positive !! When it’s used for negative reasons, it is often short lived but it also can do incredible damage. You have a choice to not allow influence to be used in that way. It’s incredibly difficult to be a positive influence in today’s workplace and society. However, it is what we are called to do.

You have the chance to influence every, single person you come across. Not one person should pass you by without you interacting with them. Not one. That may seem daunting, but it’s very doable with some effort and the desire to be intentional. Something as simple as a smile, a “Hello”, and the willingness to stay and listen to how they respond, may seriously make all the difference they needed that day.

That small action is more influential than any list on social media EVER will be !! The chance to be an influencer is available to you and it’s time you step in. People need your influence, and I can’t wait to see how you positively impact and change the lives of those around you !!

People. Every. Day.

I’ve had this small voice in the back of my head that has wondered what it would have been like to be a college professor. I’d want to teach students about HR of course. I envision gathering at the beginning of the semester in my classroom. I’m a bit anxious and the students are wondering what is in store. I’m sure most of them are expecting a syllabus on the first day outlining coursework, readings, projects and exams.

After I get everyone settled down, I ask all of the to put down their tablets or close their laptops. Then I ask them to take their textbooks and put them on the ground. The students look concerned at each other wondering what is going on and a few are probably posting on social media about how odd this new professor is. Then I start . . .

“Hey everyone. Glad you came today to HR 101. To get started, I want you to look around the room and see what you notice.”

After a slight awkward silence, I step in.

“I hope you notice your fellow classmates. You see THEY are what Human Resources is all about. If you remember nothing else this whole semester, remember this.

HR is about people. People. Every. Day.”

I don’t want them to enter the field of HR without this essential truth. I don’t want them to have to be reminded after 3 to 5 years that people matter. I don’t want them to ever think that the policies, procedures, regulations and rules that are components of HR should come before people.

It sounds simplistic, but it’s missing in organizations. Every. Day. There are tons of HR pros who are more content with “how’s” of what they do versus the “who’s” they do it with. Instead of seeing the many employees that you come across as tasks that fulfill your daily to-do list, try recognizing them as a mosaic that ebbs and flows on a regular basis.

There is a sea of diversity and variety that you get to work with all around you. Not one day goes by that is the same because you’re working with people (every day). You have the opportunity to choose whether that matters or whether it’s a nuisance.

I have to admit that when I started in HR, people weren’t the focus of my efforts. That was an expectation set forth by the company I worked for. We were more concerned with structure, compliance and making sure people fit within rules and systems. There was little room for creativity or innovation. I thought it was because of the size of the company I worked for, but I’ve found this to be more of the norm for how HR operates (and it comfortable doing.)

After I held a position where the owner told me that the ONLY reason I had a job in HR was for his people, I’ve never looked back. Unfortunately, it’s still not the “norm.” We spend more time on the “stuff” of HR and not the people we work with.

This week, join my class of HR 101. Put away the things of your job and put the manuals of rules you’ve developed to the side and look around the room. See what you notice and remember what HR is truly about.

People. Every. Day.

The Eyes Have It !!

Every so often I am fortunate enough to travel for HR. I’ve been an active volunteer for SHRM for over 15 years now and it’s always cool to me to get to go to a place away from home and see my peers. I never take it for granted and I’ve been able to venture out to places I may have never gone to on my own.

Travel is a unique thing. When I first began to travel, I think I was like many of the folks I encounter now. I was anxious and uncertain of where to go and what to do. People are constantly milling around you and they look as anxious as you feel. Many people are rushing without care or concern of any other human within 25 feet of them because they need to get to their airplane gate, taxi or desk at the hotel.

I decided that if I traveled like this, I would be miserable, frustrated and impatient with others. That runs completely counter to who I am and how I see others. So, I slowed down and looked up. I no longer buried my head down to join the mad rush to the next destination. Instead, I really took a different approach . . .

If you don’t know, I’m a very intentional person. I sincerely want to meet and know every person that I cross paths with. I’m intrigued as to who they are and what they do. I know there’s a chance that I will meet someone that may not be “safe” or could take advantage of me, but my experience says that this is rare. This brings me back to my new approach – I make eye contact with people.

I don’t gawk or stare. I don’t fix on someone to be overt or creepy, but I look at people and if we connect, I really take a giant leap !! I say, “Hello !!” That’s it. Nothing more.

If someone wants to chat, I chat. If someone gives me the head nod, I reciprocate. I do this with the driver from long-term parking, to the ticketing agent, to the TSA ID checker, to everyone I meet. When I do this I get one of two responses. The one that is unfortunately the majority is that people avoid making eye contact because they don’t want to interact. I get that, but it’s disappointing. When people do make contact and chat, it’s fantastic !! Why ?? Because I truly feel that people today want someone to notice them.

We are all constantly surrounded by people and yet we act as if we’re completely alone. We surround ourselves with social media, but we really only look to see if people notice us. It’s time we change our approach – especially in HR.

Each and every day we’re surrounded by employees, clients, vendors and new people. Are you taking the time to pause, make eye contact and greet them? Do you stay long enough to see how someone is really doing or are you in your own mad dash because your e-mail is more important than the person you just passed ??

It’s time we looked up from whatever we think is more important and notice the people around us. You never know if the “Hello !!” you give will be just the thing that someone else needs more than anything. Trust me when I say that people aren’t doing this. People deserve to be recognized and noticed.

This next week start making eye contact. It will change your view of others, your work and the world around you. I’ll be watching and when I see you, I’ll be making eye contact – guaranteed !!

Be Bold !!

I don’t know if you’ve attended HR conferences or SHRM chapter meetings. I have a feeling that many HR pros want to do this, but they may have not gone to them . . . yet. There may be great reasons that you haven’t taken this step yet, but I want to challenge this (and some other things.)

When you attend conferences, you see HR pros attracted to sessions where they can receive encouragement and/or motivation. This is great and also telling. Everyone likes a shot in the arm to get energized. I think these sessions are so full because people are just flat worn out. I don’t want to support a “woe is me” stance for Human Resources practitioners. I don’t think it’s needed. There’s too much of the deconstruction of HR out there. I want to see that turned completely around, and never take that approach again . . . ever.

This past week I read something that describes most of HR. It said, “The majority of people wish for safety. You should be bold instead !!”

I completely agree with this sentiment. When I scan the HR landscape, the tone of the profession is to play to the middle and keep as much stasis as possible. Keep everything, and everyone, calm. We’ve done our best to remove the excitement, passion and fun in the workplace. Isn’t it ironic then that when we go to HR events, we seek the presentations that will fill us with the same items that we’ve tried to squelch?

The only thing holding people back from being bold in who they are and what they do, is the voice of doubt that runs like an endless tape in our heads. The desire to take bold steps is inherent in all of us, but the fear that we sense becomes irrational and leads us to maintain the status quo.

Aren’t you tired of this? Why would you keep practicing HR if it continues to be frustrating and mundane? Time to be bold !!

The key thing to note in making a 180 degree move like this is to be connected to others who have gone before you. There may not be an overwhelming number of these folks but they exist. I’d encourage you to start being bold by getting out and finding HR events to attend. It will be difficult to make this sort of transformation just through your own efforts at your workplace. It will seem so out of the norm to those you work with that you could become quickly discouraged.

When you gather with other HR pros, you can connect and network with those who can encourage you. You’ll find that those who are bold themselves are never alone. They surround themselves with others who also are willing to not except the ordinary as the norm. I’ve also seen that they welcome the chance to help others and make themselves available. They relish the chance to see more HR folks practice boldly !!

So, when the voices of “I can’t spend time away . . . ” or “My company won’t support . . .” or “I can’t afford . . .” start playing in your head – you have to ignore them and look for ways to get to HR gatherings. If something is too far away, then find something local or virtual. If something is too costly or out of your budget, read HR blogs and get active in social media forums. If your company won’t support you, then don’t settle. You need to push back and show them that they will benefit from you receiving professional development and having more HR resources.

I know this is risky and I know that it will be challenging. I also know that it’s a much better way to live and practice HR !! There is no need to keep playing it safe. Join me and be bold !!

We Can Be Heroes !!

This past week the rock universe took one of it’s brightest stars back. The legendary David Bowie passed away after his battle with cancer. I have been a fan of his for decades.

Oddly enough, the first time I saw him was during a Christmas special where he sang the “Little Drummer Boy” with Bing Crosby. I remember watching the special with my Dad and he wondered who the “weird guy” was singing with Crosby. I said, “That’s David Bowie Dad, and he’s cool !!” He disagreed and thought that it was surreal to see the immortal crooner singing with this thin, pale British singer.

I’ve always been drawn to Bowie because he was willing to be himself. He never followed the norms that were expected in his music, his appearance or his approach. I also admired that he continued to remain relevant throughout his entire life when many of his peers faded into oblivion.

There are many attributes of David Bowie that I think translate well into how I practice HR and would love to see others consider and adopt. Please note that much of this is already happening. You just need to own it.

Be Genuine and Authentic

You could never note any time where David Bowie was not himself. He may have seemed contrary to his contemporaries, but he never apologized for it. I think HR people should be bold in who they are personally and professionally. It doesn’t mean that you should be avant-garde just to stand out. It does, however, call for you to not have an “HR/work face” and your normal face. There are too many people who feel that they can’t be themselves in HR and they end up being frustrated. If a company can’t accept you for who you are and how to practice HR, then don’t stay in that role or at that company. You’ll never have as much of an impact as you could.

Define new boundaries

Bowie shocked the rock world during his androgynous, glam rock Ziggy Stardust phase. He morphed into the sleek, fashionable man of the 80’s and then went a completely different route in the 90’s and 00’s with his band Tin Machine and working with artists like Trent Reznor. He constantly looked for new ways to be artistic and share his gift. It kept him relevant and others were inspired because he was willing to take risks and reinvent himself.

HR is reluctant to change. We feel the tried and true will always work, and we just need to apply it with small tweaks and adjustments. That just isn’t true. The biggest threat to our profession is whether we will stay relevant as a profession. To make sure we do, we need to see new boundaries and step out to set them. You don’t need permission. You just need to don the next phase of your career and adapt.

Share Your Work

I think there are too many of my peers who keep to themselves. This isn’t a matter of introversion vs. extroversion. HR people tend to sell themselves short and don’t recognize the impact they have on people every day. The music and contributions David Bowie made would have been diminished if he created and then shared his work with only a few people around him. Even though he was different, he stepped forward and shared his artistry with the world. He couldn’t keep things to himself and neither should we.

HR that only serves HR is meaningless. The business world without HR will continue to move on if we insist on working and living in arenas and forums outside of them. We need to be different ourselves and bring a fresh, challenging effort to what we do. As Bowie said, “We can be heroes. Just for one day.”

His message was meant to push others. His music was meant to make you see and think differently. He was one of my rock heroes and his impact will live on in HR if I have something to say about it !!

The Year of Others !!

It is rare that you get to write a blog post on your actual birthday when you write a weekly post, but today is my day !! I’m thankful to be another year older and geeked for what this year holds (and hopefully many more years to come !!)

I’ve seen many year-end posts chock full of predictions and resolutions for HR for 2016. I’ve never been a big fan of resolutions because we talk more about how they fail than they succeed. I dig the aspiration side of what they represent, but few ever expect them to result in sustainable change.

I’d like to take a page from the Chinese Zodiac where they have the Year of the . . . (insert animal of they year of your birth) and declare for HR that this is . . . The Year of Others !!’

So, what does this effort entail ?? I’d like to throw out to the profession that HR needs to be focused on others and not themselves. This isn’t some fluffy feel good idea. It’s a viable way to influence business and affect the bottom line. The difficulty is that it takes a change in our mindset. Focusing on other people goes contrary to the “What’s In It for Me (WIIFM)” mantra. The thought that you have to identify the trigger for every single person as their WIIFM and make that a reality is not feasible.

However, spending time – uninterrupted time – with others at all levels of an organization is priceless and a differentiator. Why? It’s simple. People don’t do it now. Companies, especially at the executive level, feel that when you spend time with people you’re “wasting time” because things aren’t “getting done.” They’re wrong.

Their is NOTHING more valuable and long lasting than investing time in others.

It’s so difficult because we are surrounded by a society that is self-centered. The majority of social media is predicated on how many views, likes, retweets, etc. that one gets. People are more than willing to post their own work but rarely will they curate and post the work of others.

You have to understand that if you join this Year of Others effort that you will be going against the flow. It gets tiring and you could get discouraged, but it’s worth it !! You have to trust me on this. Organizations, and senior management, are looking for ways that HR can be a business partner, and that can happen if you’re willing to put your waders on and step in the stream to walk against the current.

Doing this also means taking a risk that it will work, and we are unfortunately very risk averse as a profession. We can no longer be timid. Your employees are yearning for an advocate who will genuinely take the time to meet them, listen to them, care for them and work with them. People want to perform and they will do better when they know that someone is there for them. You can do this by showing supervisors how to more consistently approach people as humans and not as task fulfillers.

Will you join me? Will you be a part of the Year of Others? I think we can alter the HR landscape and make what we do relevant and desired. When you do this, you will see how being in Human Resources will matter for you both personally and professionally !!

It’s going to be our best year yet as an industry and I look forward to walking alongside you as we do this !!

#7Songs – What rules ??

I’m not one to have many regrets about life. It’s been absolutely amazing so far and I’m looking forward to what will happen in the future !! However, everyone has a “I wonder what my life would be if” thought every once in awhile.

I’ve always thought it would have been great to live in the UK !! If I could even narrow that down, I’d live there during my teenage years which happen to have been in the late 70’s because I would have been present during the birth of Punk Rock. I didn’t really listen to punk bands until I heard more of them in college, but once I did one band clearly stood out and stuck – The Clash.

To me they defined the genre and never settled for the status quo. Most people know their two most popular songs, Rock the Casbah and Should I Stay or Should I Go? These are phenomenal, but I think one song stands out above the rest in their impressive catalog.

#5 – White Man in Hammersmith Palais by The Clash
This song has incredible lyrics where Joe Strummer, the front man of the group. questions the other punk rock artists of the time and insinuates that they’re selling out. This epitomizes who The Clash were. They questioned the establishment and self-centeredness of their own generation. They set their own path and didn’t look back. If you had to describe their approach you’d say “what rules” ??

I’m someone who has always looked at life from a slightly different angle. I enjoy running contrary to what people expect. It’s also how I’ve approached HR. I have chosen to do something completely radical . . . . and be positive about people !! You wouldn’t think that this is “punk rock” enough, but it truly is. We’re bombarded with negativity almost every moment of every day. It takes a concerted effort to not bend to the will of others, or the trend that is easy to fall into.

I make sure to listen to The Clash as least once a day to remind me that you can redefine the norms and status quo. This song is a great place to start because once you hear it you won’t get it out of your head, and you’ll be yearning for more.

I hope by sharing this, you step out and question the status quo a bit more than you do now. So, let’s get you started !!