A Cup of Coffee

It’s hard to believe that the pandemic is approaching its one-year anniversary. I’m sure no one expected or wanted to go through a single moment of this. There are so many things that have been changed forever. At first, people were hopeful for a return to what they were accustomed to because that was our norm. Societal change was forced upon us and it has been challenging. It continues to press upon everyone in various ways.

The aspect of life that I have missed the most is being able to gather in person with others. I’m not talking about mass events like conferences, concerts or sporting events. I have missed grabbing a cup of coffee and hanging out in coffee shops.

This past weekend, my daughter came to visit which is something my wife and I always enjoy. We caught up, talked about her work and life and then settled into having her around the house. She asked me if I’d like to go check out a new coffee shop that one of her high school classmates recently opened. It was a half-hour drive from our house and the ride was incredible. Having one-on-one time with your child should always be a blessing regardless of their age. The conversation flowed easily and we were taking note of the sights of a neighborhood we weren’t familiar with as we looked for the coffee shop.

As we pulled into a parking spot along a crowded street, we saw the converted mechanic’s garage which was now the Square Mile Coffee Company. We were able to order a couple of wonderful hot beverages AND take a seat in the coffee shop !! It was magnificent. It was just as I remembered it even though the tables were spaced miles apart. There were others in the coffee shop as well and it was touching to hear the banter and laughter from one group while another person was sitting with his laptop.

I know that we’re still far from being able to be social in person on a larger scale. However, the glimmer of hope that this visit to a coffee shop gave me was just what I needed. There are more and more conversations happening about people experiencing loneliness and fatigue. What would happen if you took a step to have a cup of coffee with someone today? I understand that you may not be able to do it in person, but you could still make it happen. Sure, we’re all tired of looking at screens, but what if you took a look at it a bit differently?

Having some focused time to have a conversation with someone may just be the lift they need. It will recharge you as well. This week, I’m going to be intentional in reaching out to my peers in HR who would like to grab a coffee and some conversation. It’s going to be one-on-one and I really don’t care what we talk about. The work we do in HR is hard and we often don’t have someone to talk to that understands all that goes into being an HR practitioner. I’m not complaining. I’m just stating a reality.

I want to make the time for this to make this a new practice and not something to return to. I have decided to stop waiting for our environment to change. We can get together now. Don’t be surprised if I reach out to you to ask for a few minutes to share a hot cup of coffee (or your preferred beverage). I’d encourage you to do the same with those you know.

Let’s have a cup of coffee !!

Others Needed

This past week I joined a conversation with friends on Clubhouse. Now, I know it’s all the new rage, and it’s fun to see people get excited about gathering.

(Quick obligatory disclaimer – This post isn’t about the new platform, and I understand it works with iPhone users and not Android users at this time. It isn’t about jumping on a bandwagon either. Read the rest of the post and you’ll see why . . .)

I was asked to join four friends and we were going to talk about leading remote workers. What was amazing is that the five of us were located in New York City, New York; Granada, Spain; Manchester, England; Concord, New Hampshire and Cincinnati, Ohio. As others joined in the chat, there were others from all corners of the planet. It fascinates me that peers chose to show up for a conversation !! And, then it hit me . . .

Our topic was timely and is something facing the new definition of work and the workspace. Noted. It also had people with different perspectives and experiences with this new environment. Noted again. What was most intriguing to me though was the engagement, energy, respect, laughter and encouragement !! Then it sank in . . .

We need others in our lives.

I think this simple notion is overlooked and misconstrued in far too many ways. We come up with ways to discredit, distance or overanalyze this human reality. We want to say that there’s “more to it” because it can’t be that basic. We are far too intelligent, complex and knowledgeable. We can’t just “need” each other.

It is that simple.

If you know me at all, I thrive on connecting people. It drives me and fills my bucket. I want to make sure that anyone I encounter is not only connected to me, but to others who may anchor them more to reaffirm that they are needed. I’m not kidding. I would think that a significant portion of every day is made up of various quick check-ins and barometer checks with friends around the globe. This is on top of having the same approach with the people I’m fortunate enough to work with. As humans, we are wired with a desire to be connected and needed by others.

I’m concerned that people are walking in and around us feeling lonely, isolated and not wanted. There is a myriad of reasons why that is their reality. I’m not going to be bold enough to try to give a litany of reasons for this disconnectedness. I don’t have to have a “reason” to connect with others. If you’re a fellow human, you’ve passed the only criteria I find necessary. People don’t need to jump through hoops in order to know they’re needed with me. Nor do I fault someone else who feels they need to make sure it’s safe and valuable for them to connect with me.

While we were having our chat, I also took the time to tweet and share some of the insights that people were giving. You could feel the energy of our time together grow even more !! People who weren’t able to join could now learn and comment. You see, I feel we get into a trap of getting excited about events and our focus is purely on those that participate at the time. That is incredible, but the way we make sure others are aware, informed, interested and even geeked is if we have a mixture of an internal and external mechanism with interactions. This isn’t for notoriety. It’s to make sure no one is left out.

This week look around. You’re going to have a multitude of conversations and interactions in person, virtually and online. Keep your head up and make sure the others you’re talking to know they’re needed . . . on purpose. Don’t assume that just because they’re in the conversation that they’re connected. You can be a person who becomes THE anchor for someone and not even know it. You may unlock the talent of someone because they were intentionally acknowledged.

Remember you’re needed. Others need you and you need others. It’s that simple.

All You Need Is . . .

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m exhausted. It’s not physical exhaustion. It’s that I’m emotionally and mentally drained. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel that I’m alone in feeling this.

I know there are a multitude of factors that play into this, but the main one is the constant message bombardment of fear, negativity, and inflammatory stories I see from the “news” regardless of the outlet. It seems that we continue to put out information that is meant to put us on edge and evoke some overly charged response of disdain or disbelief. Add on top of this that once something is posted, shared or released, then the wave of comments starts hitting the shore. People reply in snippets of raw emotion and rarely seek, or ask for, context. It is far easier to launch a volley. And, I think people long for a returned volley so the comments can spiral into a deeper and deeper hole of disparagement.

Ironically, it’s come to the point that when people choose to post something positive, people launch on that as well. They claim that people are faking their lives and only showing good things. Pause. Reread that sentence. We’re pissed that someone has something positive to share.

I understand that the world is filled with horrific things. I’m not naive to think that these things can’t be shared or unearthed. When things get overlooked or buried, the terrible actions and/or behaviors continue. I just think that we can change the approach and method of how we communicate with each other – including the tough things.

(Random side thought – My head is already wondering if people are just sitting there waiting to counter each word of this post. That saddens me to even have that thought. Back to the post . . .)

I believe in people. I believe in those who share my views, likes and opinions just as I do with those who don’t share them. Do I struggle with people? Yes. Just as sure as I think others struggle with me. We’re human and we live in a broken world. Even in the midst of that, I believe most people are good. I really do.

Just having that posture makes people scoff and throw up skepticism. We share experiences of how someone hurt another person. I’m sure each of those experiences are valid and personal. I’ve been hurt. I’ve had people hurt others in my immediate family. I’ve experienced loss of family and dear friends throughout my lifetime.

I don’t view life as a mass of either/or situations where I’m forced to land on one side or another. I’m an if/then person and in every circumstance in my life I choose to say that “if” such and such happens, “then” I choose to respond as positively as possible – even in the most difficult of incidents. You may think that’s unrealistic, but it’s something I hold on to.

We live in a time when people don’t feel they have anyone who believes in them. It fills conversations at work, on social media platforms and in public forums. I understand that it’s not feasible to reach everyone and close this gap. However, for those I’m fortunate enough to have in my life, I can act and lift them up.

I have faith that this small action will make a difference – even for a moment. I want to see the tone of conversations change to become a rich dialogue where people are heard and valued regardless of their perspective. If they are struggling with an issue in life or society, they know they have someone who is there for them to listen – not to solve or jump to conclusions. I don’t want them to feel invisible, unheard or ignored. I want to be someone at work, in HR, online, and in-person who is willing to challenge the norm and change the narrative. I want to show that there are amazing, positive and uplifting things happening all the time around us. It’s not all awful. In fact, it’s far from it.

It’s ironic to me that we set one day aside each calendar year to “celebrate” love on Valentine’s Day. I would rather suggest that love become our norm every day. I know it’s easy to think it can’t be this simple, but you need to start somewhere. For you see, all you need is . . .

Connecting

I’m a fan of Twitter. I know that may run contrary to the majority of people out there. I’ve been active for 13 years on the platform and I still enjoy it every day. I don’t enjoy it for news, celebrity gossip or politics. I’m not naive to think that this platform, along with many others, can be used for dissension, negativity and anger. That is honestly true with any form/method of communication. Any forum can be used in a myriad of ways. I choose to be positive.

I participate because I love the people. Seriously. I see Twitter as a way to connect with people around the globe in a matter of seconds. How cool is that? For me, it’s a quick way to see the good work of others and share it to make sure that many voices are heard. I can go on and on about the attributes I find attractive, but I want to share about one in particular.

When Twitter first began, people used Fridays as a day to put the hashtag #FF (Follow Friday) out there to recommend and encourage others to connect more. You have to remember that back in 2008, people weren’t connected nearly as much as they are now. It was fun to find HR peers and get everyone to know each other. It eliminated the boundaries of geography and time zones and started to pull the profession together more intentionally.

Like most efforts, you can tire of things. What once brought energy and excitement turned into seeing many of the same faces and names over and over again. It even became negative among some people and it, unfortunately, became comparative because you’d see some people often and new people rarely. So, people stopped doing #FF or they took potshots at it. That was sad because its intent never changed. The way people viewed it did.

I didn’t get dragged down or discouraged by people no longer participating though. I saw value because I looked at it as a way to truly connect and not be a popularity contest. Now, I did stop doing it weekly because that level of repetition was ineffective. Fast forward to 2021 . . .

This past Friday, I took the time to launch an extensive set of tweets for #FF. Believe it or not, this is now a bit risky because I was put in Twitter “jail” awhile back because they thought that I pre-programmed my tweets and they didn’t understand why I listed so many names in a short burst of time. They may have thought my account was a bot or that I was spamming and phishing others because this approach isn’t the “norm” of how people connect. I reached out to Twitter, as much as they’ll allow, to explain that I was not a bot, but they just kept me in detention for a bit.

This past Friday, a friend from the UK asked how I listed all of the names and I shared the truth. I type in each person’s name. Every. Time. I always have. There’s a reason for this.

I list each person by “name” because I want those with whom I’m connected to know that they matter. It’s important that we’re connected because I consider them part of my community. I don’t see this as a who’s who list. I want people to know that I see them and value who they are and what they contribute.

We don’t take the time to remind people about this nearly enough. I do my best to have some form of a relationship with anyone who is kind enough to want to be connected to me. I don’t take it for granted. Too many people aren’t encouraged or given affirmation. It’s something I can’t see overlooked. Please note that this is true for me with my family, my friends and my co-workers.

I heard a quote recently that hit me. “Community isn’t built on convenience. Community is built on time, effort and energy.” That’s the truth. My hope in listing people is that someone connects with someone else and that leads them to build a community. How you do it is up to you. The key is that you have one based on how you truly connect. It’s also important to stay true to your capacity. If you’re someone who is good with giving your time and effort to many people, then have a large community or several communities. If you would feel more comfortable with a smaller community, then make that happen as well. There is no one way to do this.

This week, I encourage you to connect with someone. Check to make sure they aren’t alone or isolated. Let others around you know they matter. You may be the one person who connected with them at the perfect time. Remind others they matter as well. In doing this, we’ll come together in ways that are meaningful and lasting.

Be a Culture Maker !!

Do you remember when you were a little kid? If not, do you know little kids? I’m sure you do. Little kids are brilliant because they love everything around them. The world is a place to be explored, and they are filled with endless curiosity. They also have few, if any, lenses to help them define their world. However they process it, they’re comfortable with their assessment.

You see this when you ask them to draw or color something. If you give a child a blank piece of paper and some markers, crayons or paint, you never know what the final outcome will be !! After they passionately create their image, they eagerly hold it up to you for your approval. Your first instinct is to ask them what the picture is and they proudly declare, “It’s a pony !!” when it is a mish-mash of squiggly lines with no form, “proper” color usage or assignment. As their parent, you swallow the instant challenge to your logic because they’re your child and you affirm them. “That’s the best pony I’ve ever seen.” Then, you grab a magnet and place it on the refrigerator for everyone to see. You don’t hide their creation. You proudly display it . . . as you should.

Recently, my wife was cleaning out some boxes in a closet and she came upon some of those wildly imaginative creations our two kids (now in their 20’s) made when they were young. She snapped pictures of them and sent them out to everyone to ask who these brilliant artists were. The same exultation and joy they showed when they made these “pictures” decades ago came through their replies. They argued which one was the most creative and a friendly competition ensued. It was magnificent !!

Of course, seeing this interaction and freedom in creation reminded me of HR. However, my reflection wasn’t as joyful.

You see, we don’t allow the same creativity in our organizations as we do with young kids. Why is that? What are we afraid of? Would it be so awful if someone came up with an idea that fell outside the normal pattern of work? Do we think that someone will come up with something that will send the company in a tailspin if we allowed them unencumbered freedom?

It’s interesting, isn’t it? As HR professionals, we are the shepherds of a company’s culture. I actually contend we own the culture far more than senior management, but that is seen as a “coloring outside the lines” by many in our profession. We are much more content to take our place inside a corporate structure and act as culture constrainers vs. culture makers.

Don’t believe me? My wife was just given a policy at her work that ALL masks worn (due to the current pandemic) may be solid colors ONLY !!!!!!! Any pattern and/or writing is not allowed and you will be addressed if you dare cross this. So, is the emphasis to wear a mask to provide protection for yourself and others to promote a safe work environment? Or, is this yet another example of something that could have been addressed with a few conversations with the employees who were wearing masks that were acting as advertisements for something that went against the companies values or mission?

(Quick side note: This isn’t an argument about face coverings. It’s an example of how HR misses the boat on their actions in the context of the culture they have a chance to create. Back to the post . . .)

We should be culture makers !! We have the ability to give people permission to do their work in a variety of ways that don’t have to be prescriptive. I understand there may be methods and processes which are proven and work well. But, if no one ever steps back to evaluate, test and challenge those processes we end up with a group of people who go through the motions. Then we praise predictability, repetitiveness and normality. These, in turn, become the metrics for performance and the chance for innovation is impeded and discouraged.

This starts with us as HR practitioners. We have to get out of our rut and practice of confining people. It’s time to open the gates and allow people to have input, insight and ideas about how their job should be done. We should evaluate our processes and procedures to see if they give people the ability to fully engage and do their job, or if they’re just a set of do’s/don’ts. (They’re mainly don’ts by the way.)

I challenge you to start coloring like you did when you were a kid. Don’t worry if you stay in the lines or if the color you use is the “right” one. When someone asks you what you just created, say, “It’s a pony !!” even if they don’t see it. Trust me. The more willing you are to be creative and unconventional in HR, the brighter culture you will help create.

So, I’ll get the blank piece of paper and a bunch of crayons and markers. Let’s see what cultures we can make !!

Experience Needed ??

It’s hard to believe that I’m entering the 35th year of my career. I can distinctly remember the challenge of finding my first job. You see, I was trying to land a role in the newly renamed field of “Human Resources” before the internet was anything to be reckoned with. In fact, I went to a library on the campus of Ohio University at the beginning of my senior year and found a book called The Million Dollar Directory. It was a list of companies and their profiles. I picked out a list of 200 brand name firms and typed (yes, typed) a cover letter and resume for each one, and mailed them out.

I had to patiently wait for responses by mail. (yes, mail) Of the 200 letters I sent across the country, I received a handful of rejections and one positive response. I interviewed with this Fortune 500 giant and was fortunate to get hired. Did I mention that the country was in a recession when I was graduating from college? Also, unemployment was at a record high at the time. Sound familiar?

The one difference is that the company I joined was just starting to look for recent college graduates to join the recruiting department. I was the first college graduate they hired. Every other manager in the department had grown up by moving up the career ladder of the organization. I was an “experiment” in response to a directive that said that HR was going to start using the model the revenue-driving departments had used for some time. I was at the right place at the right time. I didn’t have any tangible experience. I just wanted to go into human resources.

I’ll never forget this story because it runs against the grain of ALL companies when it comes to hiring people. We continue to rely on old models and expectations with the myth of experience. If we review a resume that states someone has between “x” and “y” years of experience in a role, we attribute talent and skillset purely based on tenure at a company. That is the first hurdle candidates MUST pass in order to hit the next incremental step of consideration. If people can’t pass this barrier of chronology, then we keep digging until we find someone who matches.

You’d think after 35 years things would evolve. You’d hope that with AI, ATS, chatbots, digital methods, etc. we’d have moved the needle. We haven’t and, honestly, we refuse to because we feel if we eliminate the “experience” parameter then we’ll get a mish-mash of underqualified people. Here’s a more current example . . .

My son, Josh, graduated from Ohio University in 2019 with high honors. He’s a great, talented young man with a degree but he didn’t secure an internship or co-op during his time in college. I understand that is a choice, but again, there’s no measure as to what students did during internships. It’s just key for people to list one on their resume because it reflects . . . experience. This story isn’t true only for my son. It’s how HR and organizations continue to filter out new graduates, those trying to change industries, and people making career changes from one field to another.

When we were on a recent call, he was telling me the steps he was pursuing in his continued job search when he choked up a bit and said in frustration, “How am I supposed to gain experience if no one is willing to give me an opportunity?”

There it is. There’s the crux of this long-held myth. How does one gain experience to match the job requisition when companies aren’t willing to take the chance/risk on investing in someone first? We have all been lulled to sleep and complacency as business professionals because we’ve forgotten that when our careers began someone opened a door for us and invited us in. We lose sight of this because we’re working. I hate to be this candid – but if you have a job, you typically don’t care about those who don’t.

This has to change. There is no reason for people to continue to have to fight through unneeded steps in order to prove that they made it through some imaginary gauntlet and have earned the right to work for a company. It’s archaic and unproven. How can we state we are hiring for “talent” when we’re really looking for people to match buzzwords, overly complicated job descriptions and hidden preferences and biases in our current approach?

It’s time for all of us to open doors. As HR and talent acquisition professionals, we need to redefine the landscape that allows everyone access to jobs and then go through a process of consideration which measures aptitude, character, strengths and potential. We need to come to terms that we can train the details of the jobs they’ll take on. We’re going to anyway.

We should value the skills, knowledge and experience people earn over time. But, instead of playing organizational match game, we should see how we can take those attributes to our organization in order to have their talent move us forward by adding value. It’s time for this current generation of professionals in HR to change the landscape.

I’m not sure how it’s supposed to look. I’m not sure the facets needed to make a design that is inclusive, consistent, and accessible. I just know it can, and must, exist. I plan to start by opening doors for others. As an HR practitioner myself, I can reach out to job seekers and be a person who helps make connections in other organizations if I don’t have roles available myself. We have to think of others outside of ourselves and our companies. Think of how companies would excel if we opened doors to introduce them to talent all over because of the connections we have.

I hope someone opens a door for my son. I know that when it happens, he’ll remember his experience of landing his first job and he’ll open doors for others. You see, experience isn’t needed . . . genuinely helping others land in roles is !!

Don’t Be Sisyphus !!

How’s your new year shaping up? Is your plate full? Chances are it’s overflowing. I know this may be stating the obvious for most people. I’m not just referring to work either. Yes, work may take up the majority of your daily time, effort and attention. We need to remember that each person we encounter has their version of “life” going on. You may be addressing personal/family situations and struggles with spouses, partners, kids, or parents. You may be in between jobs now or you’d like to change your role/company if you had the chance. I’m not going to try and capture all that is in front of you. I’m just sure that you’re full (too full).

What’s interesting about being full at work is that we don’t view this positively. We complain. Incessantly. It’s true. So much of our daily routine includes bemoaning all that we have to do. On top of that, we complain about co-workers that are intertwined with our mountain of work. We exhale a gigantic sigh as if to get the attention of others so they can commiserate with us. Others follow this pattern and they grouse as well. For some reason, we find comfort in this mixing of conversations which look at all that is wrong with our day . . . because we’re full.

I remember a time when I went to a restaurant in downtown Cincinnati by myself (pre-COVID) to run an errand. It is a great, local Mexican place that I try to visit when I get the chance. I was by myself which is a rarity in itself. I ordered the daily special and found a table to sit in the middle of a full gathering who were “enjoying” their lunch break. Instead of scrolling through endless social media threads, I sat quietly and listened to the conversations of those around me. I know it’s a bit intrusive, but I curious to hear what others were talking about.

Every single conversation was negative. Every one. The people eating around me weren’t upset or animated. They were speaking at ease because this was, and is, normal for them – as it is for all of us. They were complaining about the work they had in front of them and the people that had to “deal” with in order to try and move forward. I’m sure there was a smattering of constructive input during the chats, but that was hard to assess. Since no one was phased by how the conversations occurred, I’m positive people went on with their day oblivious to the tone.

I understand that being full can be overwhelming, and it may even feel that we’re going to sink rather than swim. But, isn’t that a great position to be in? Seriously. When you are full, then, chances are, you’re either adding value or others are counting on you to come through because of your talent. So, we need to quit being Sisyphus !!

Illustration by Temujin Doran and Max Robinson

Who’s Sisyphus? He was a character in Greek mythology who was not a good king. His lifestyle of deceit and conniving angered the gods and he was given the task of rolling a massive stone up a hill with the hope that he’d clear the peak and the stone would roll down the other side. He would struggle and push against the boulder, but he could never clear the precipice. Oh, and he only has to push this immovable object up the hill . . . for eternity !! Sound familiar? THIS is how we sound when we talk about our work. We come off more like martyrs than contributors.

This needs to turn around and disappear. If we want to have people-centric organizations filled with performers, then we need to do all we can to destroy how work is talked about. And . . . it starts with us HR !! I understand that working with people can be daunting, challenging and even disheartening IF you view people as a problem first. Our mentality and mindset have to be reset. We must talk about how the work in front of us is an opportunity and not a burden. We must embrace the conversations we have with other employees as a chance to learn, hear new ideas and perspectives and work together collaboratively towards moving things forward.

I’m not a Pollyanna, but I am an optimist. I am grateful I am both full and overwhelmed with the good work I get to be a part of in my role. It’s very easy to go dark and complain. Very easy. I just choose not to. I plan to get that rock up over the hill so that I can see past the peak, go into the next valley and get the next boulder that is sure to be there.

If we would shift and become beacons of light as HR practitioners in our organizations, then others would see the great work they have in front of them positively as well. Organizations would thrive and cultures would improve. We’d actually have “best places to work” because you’d see people embrace their place as the talented people they already are. Be glad you’re full.

Capture Your Thoughts !!

As we jump into 2021, we’re already being bombarded by more and more circumstances and situations. I’ll be honest, it’s hard to try and clear your head with all that is happening. I didn’t expect a magical switch to flip after we hit January 1st. That’s not realistic.

On top of the constant waves of activity, there are distractions that are all clamoring for our attention. There are those that deserve our focus such as our family, friends and work. However, we need to be self-aware that even these important areas of our lives may not get the time they need. Add on top of all of these factors, that we want everyone to organize our lives according to their methods and/or systems.

My wife is the best person in my life. That has nothing to specifically do with organization, but I never miss a chance to recognize how fortunate I am to have her as my partner. The bonus is that she is incredibly organized !! She has a distinct advantage over me because she is a rational, linear thinker. It makes sense for her to compile lists and then knock things out as they’re completed. She has lists for each day, week, and even some looking far out into the future. I admire that this approach works for her because it keeps her life, and our lives together, in order.

I am about as far from a rational, linear thinker as one can be. The slightest piece of activity going around me gets at least a glance. This is not new. I’ve always wanted to take in everything that occurs as it happens. This allows me to be more observant and open to various perspectives, but it also means that I can bounce back and forth between a multitude of things without landing on many. I find this freeing, but it also can be limiting and even frustrating when working with others.

I don’t know one person who doesn’t have a full plate in their role at work. Not one. Our plates may not be filled with the “right” things, but they are overflowing nonetheless. In order to make sure the plates I had didn’t only get a small snapshot of my attention, I had to come up with something that reflected how my brain works to capture my thoughts.

Just a few . . .

I use notebooks. Many notebooks. Each one contains some aspect of my job. A few contain thoughts and projects outside of work. If you picked one up and started to thumb through the pages, it would not make much sense to you. It’s not supposed to though because it’s my personal approach. It makes as much sense to me to use multiple notebooks as it does for my wife to utilize lists.

The key to making progress during these uncertain days is to have a method which works for you. Where I’d encourage you to change though is for you to understand that your system won’t work for others. People are unique and will put their own twist on how they feel most comfortable to capture all that is happening so they know how best to reference the information when and where they need it.

So, instead of letting this world overwhelm you come up with the best technique that will allow you to remain calm, clear headed and “organized.” Then, follow your process and make sure it becomes your fabric. Value that others do things differently and see how you’ll have a way to move forward.

I better write this down. Time to find a new notebook . . .

Every Moment

This post represents quite a few milestones !! It’s a New Year, it’s my birthday and it’s the 10-year anniversary of my blog. Hard to grasp that all of these events convened at the same time. It also is a great example of what I wanted to “talk” about this week.

You do tend to reflect more as you get older. I never thought that would be the case, but it happens because I think you realize your time on this planet is on the downward side of the curve. Please don’t think I’m being pessimistic because that rarely occurs in how I live and see life. I’m being realistic though because I’m much closer to my sixth decade roaming the earth than my first !!

So many people have sentiments about escaping 2020. I am not one of those people. Yes, it was a tough year for most everyone I know including me. The loss of my father and my boss will alter my life. There is no doubt about it. I can’t adequately capture the myriad of events that happened around the world that seem that we’re far more unsettled and divided than we are cohesive.

As I reflect on getting the chance to celebrate another year of life, I’ve come to realize something is so true that I never grasped until late last year. My brother was with me and our mom as our dad was passing. As we were discussing all that was happening, a well-intentioned surgeon was telling us he was sure he could perform a procedure which may have a sliver of success for my dad. We discussed this as a group, and my brother, a doctor himself, shared a piece of advice he received from his Chief Nursing Officer. She told him, “Mark, you need to remember that we see people for only a few moments of their life.”

That struck me. It’s true. We act on very little information with very little time in each other’s lives. When you step back to look at it, the majority of how we live, what we believe, and how we view the world is made up of a series of very small moments. For some reason, our brain takes these various interactions and pulls them together to make thoughts, opinions and perspectives.

We need to keep this in mind because it seems that we are acting on these small moments to make massive assumptions, judgments, and movements. We tend to expand these encounters to make our feelings and attitudes absolute. We fill in the pieces on people without even thinking about asking them for any details or context. This concrete approach leads to putting people into compartments that validate our personal view and outlook on life . . . and they may be very skewed and we don’t even see it happening.

The surgeon I mentioned earlier was trying to do his best based on his talent, skills, and experience to help our dad. Fortunately, my brother remembered the advice he was given and called his colleagues to explain the situation and get input from others. It confirmed his suspicion that the chances of my dad recovering were remote. So, we thanked the surgeon and chose not to proceed. The surgeon was indignant about our decision. He was very confident in his abilities. I’m sure he was talented, but he didn’t realize that he had little knowledge of who my dad was and what his wishes were if he were in a life-ending circumstance. He was only in my dad’s life for a moment but didn’t recognize that.

As we all take our next trip around the sun, I’d ask you all to join me in stepping back to acknowledge that we are in each other’s lives for mere moments. Hopefully, you have family and friends who get to experience more moments than others and that is positive. I know that may not be the case with family or friends, but as I mentioned earlier, I’m an eternal optimist.

I don’t want to overlook any opportunity I have to be in a moment with others. Not one. I want every person I meet to know they matter and that I would rather enjoy our time together regardless of the circumstance. You never know. The one time you are with another person may be the ONLY time you’re together.

Why wouldn’t you take that brief time to make it the best possible moment you could? You need to remember that you will be remembered by whomever you encounter – every. time. You have the choice to make that a positive experience. I would encourage you to embrace that !!

I typically write to an audience of HR pros because I feel we can always improve how we work with others. I believe this approach of enjoying every moment should be the baseline for great human resources. If you choose to adopt this, I guarantee that you will enjoy not only the work you do but (more importantly) the fabulous people around you.

Enjoying every moment with all people is an even bigger expectation, but I think it’s needed now more than ever. If we would cherish the moments we have with each other, I think we would appreciate people as the wonderful, creative, and humorous works in progress we ALL are. I know there will continue to be trials, disappointments and failures. However, I can be assured that I will have people who will be doing life with me and the moments we share together will help us work through whatever we’re facing.

Start your year with a positive outlook which will take you forward through the years to come. Enjoy every moment !!

Legacy

For those of you who know me, I am rarely at a loss for words. This past week, however, has left me speechless.

There are countless accounts of the challenges we have all faced in 2020. They range from personal loss of loved ones to jobs being affected to swimming in a constant sea of uncertainty. Not one person’s experience is the same. We all hope for this barrage to stop, but it doesn’t. Life has been filled with far more trials than joy.

I had a text on my phone very early Tuesday morning before work asking me to call. I hadn’t responded when the second text stated, “I have some really bad news.” I wasn’t sure what this was going to mean, so I called. I heard the news on the other end and wept. I couldn’t form a word. I wept with my entire body and stood shocked and stunned.

My boss had died unexpectedly and suddenly.

This didn’t seem real, and it still doesn’t. This news was devastating because Kevin, my boss, was also a dear friend. I was asked to share the news with some others, and their response was the same as mine had been. The whole idea of him being gone was surreal and painful. No one was sure how to move forward.

You see, Kevin held a very special place in my life personally and professionally. A little over 14 years ago, we sat across from each other in a booth in one of our pizzerias. He was interviewing me to see if I could join the company as their HR Director. I enjoyed his warmth, laughter and accessibility the moment I met him. Fortunately, he put me forward and I’ve been with the company ever since. I can say that we’ve either seen each other or talked almost every day over those 14 years.

Kevin modeled a behavior I have adopted and valued more than any in my career. Each time I met with him, we talked about people. He talked about them candidly and fondly because he knew so much about everyone. He worked with our company for 45 years, and he could tell you something about each person he encountered whether they worked in our corporate office, manufacturing plant, pizzerias or franchises. He knew every person’s spouse, partner, children, grandchildren and extended families – by name !! He would make “rounds” around the office daily and have rich conversations to make sure others were okay.

He also had an incredible wit and sense of humor. He’d make a comment that would catch you off guard and laugh. He poked fun, and I always enjoyed that. I laughed with him and made sure to share barbs with him as well. He naturally made work human and I admired that. He emphasized that the workplace should always be people-first and that I should always value the work every employee did – especially those on the front lines. He had grown up in the organization as many had starting out in a pizzeria and then growing up in the company.

Kevin also developed others who worked for him. He was very intentional and kept high expectations of people to perform and be accountable. The key to his approach is that he developed others in a very human way as well. It never seemed forced or formal. After some time, you’d see how far he’d encouraged you to grow.

He built a legacy with all of those around him. He invested his time and attention with others throughout every workday. People knew they mattered to Kevin. I don’t think he was even aware he was making such a lasting impact on those around him. With him leaving, we have lost part of our soul. There’s no other good way to describe it. That’s why it hurts so deeply.

This last week has been different. The person I was most connected to wasn’t there to catch up on work items, share a quick story, or check in on how others are doing across the organization. It’s a hollow feeling.

I plan to follow his lead and make sure to invest in others, keep a people-first focus and take time to laugh. I feel there is no greater legacy.