Live Again !!

As I went slowly down the escalator, my heart began to race. A table came into view with rows of attendee badges perfectly lined up in alphabetical order. There was a section for attendees, vendors and speakers. I quietly walked by as my face was plastered with the largest smile I could muster even though the volunteers couldn’t see it behind my mask. I didn’t care because I was filled with joy !!

I probably didn’t look like I belonged in the conference center because I was in a t-shirt, shorts and a baseball cap. I kept walking around and waved when I made eye contact with folks. I peeked in the vendor hall and then made my way to the ballroom. I opened the doors and stepped inside. I saw rows and rows of round tables with empty chairs placed around them. I looked to the front of the room and saw the stage that was well lit with spotlights. A podium was in the middle and a colorful banner was in the background announcing the conference theme. It was heavenly !!

I took a few pictures of the room, posted them on Twitter anticipating the event’s beginning the next day. It gave me a chance to share my excitement. You see, I was the opening keynote speaker the next morning. I did what I normally do when I go to conferences by walking through the spaces and getting a feel for what everything looks like. I like to have a mental picture of the environment and get a feel of the event’s vibe. I did my best to blend in because I didn’t want to interfere with the good work happening all around me.

The next morning I got ready quickly, went to the coffee shop, and hustled to the conference ballroom. I set up my table showing my office menagerie and donned my microphone. The attendees started to roll in and take their seats at the various table. I kept getting more and more excited as the tables kept filling up. The conference had an excellent emcee who I had interacted with for a few minutes prior to everything started. He did a great intro and then I heard it.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a music freak and a giant U2 fan !! Overhead I heard one of their many great songs, Beautiful Day, start to play as I took the stage. It was perfect. I pulled up my first slide and started with a story.

The hour I was to speak flew by as if it was a mere few minutes. The crowd was great, engaged and we laughed a ton !! Afterward, the best part of the entire day happened. I got to talk to people in person. There was a mix of greetings ranging from fistbumps to nods to full-on hugs. It was magnificent !! I am always humbled to get the chance to present and talk to my peers and encourage them in the good work they do. I didn’t realize how much I missed this form of human contact.

I was able to stay for the full first day of the conference. Throughout the day I caught up with old friends and met a ton of new folks !! I walked across the street to grab dinner at a restaurant that was filled with fellow attendees. I was invited to join a table and the night ended as fully as it had begun.

I am geeked that people are moving toward in-person events. I understand that there is still a great need to be cautious, safe and respectful of where things stand. However, we also need to move forward even in small ways. People want to see each other. THAT is the best reason to reconvene and have HR conferences.

I would be completely fulfilled to see more and more folks in the years to come. I know that each time will be a beautiful day !!

Reset vs. Return

This past week I was geeked to be involved with a virtual HR Happy Hour with my local HR chapter, GCHRA. The event had a much different vibe than the many virtual events that I’ve been a part of over the past year plus. We started with a local bar owner teaching us how to make common drinks we could put together for summer gatherings. Then, we broke out into rooms and attendees could choose where they wanted to go based on the topic of the room. You couldn’t know who the room facilitator was prior to going to the room to make sure people didn’t just choose people they knew.

I was the facilitator of a room and our discussion topic was – “Checking on Culture.” There were two rules for anyone entering this breakout room: (1) You had to drink any time someone used a catchphrase in their answer/response and (2) an expectation to participate and share. We had an energetic and lively discussion talking about how workplace culture had morphed over the time of the pandemic. The participants gave great examples of what was working, what was missing in their company cultures. They also shared that they were looking for ways to get some stability for themselves and for their employees.

One reoccurring word that was used was “return.” It’s not uncommon. You see it everywhere these days. Return to work. Return to normalcy. Return to how things were. I think there’s a fault in having this perspective and I offered this instead.

Why not focus on having a reset vs. having a return?

You see, I think when you frame things as a “return” then you’re moving back to patterns you had followed in the past. It doesn’t mean that these efforts were either good or bad, but they are looking back to what was and not towards what could be. People long for comfort and harmony in both work and life. The sentiment is noble for the most part because people want to feel less constricted than we’ve been for more than a year.

Having a reset mentality though allows you to have a new start. I feel this is healthier because things are not the same. They won’t be either if you try to recreate what you thought was good in the past. Our circumstances have forever changed. You won’t be able to make things as they were because people have all gone through a global crisis. The environments and cultures we had prior to this event wouldn’t be the “same” even if you tried. We’ve moved on.

Another reason to have a reset is that we can continue to reshape the workplace to be better than it had been. Let’s look at “return to work.” Honestly, people want people back in situations where there’s more face-to-face contact and communication. You see, feel and interpret more nuances than you can virtually. Underlying this positive intent is also the myth of visibility. What is that you may ask? It’s the belief that if I see you at work in person, then you must be productive. It’s old school thinking at its worst.

What if the reset was – We expect people to perform and produce regardless of their working environment?

This would allow for in-person, hybrid, and virtual environments to exist concurrently. And, isn’t great performance what we endeavor to capture from all of our talented folks? You could break the old habits, stereotypes, and generalizations by giving people the avenues to offer their best work all the time.

This is just one example. I think you could sit down and come up with countless ways to move forward instead of returning to something that may not have been as effective as you thought. As an HR leader, I challenge you to join me in both having a reset mentality yourself personally and for your department. At the same time, I challenge you to get in front of senior leadership and introduce this approach to them as well.

During the pandemic, people took note that HR had stepped forward as leaders. They were right and it was overdue. Let’s not slide back into old habits and patterns. Let’s move forward.

Let’s reset !!

A Better Way

This past weekend my wife and I traveled to see our daughter and help her through a monumental life event. She is preparing to buy her first car on her own. I don’t know about you, but fewer things bring me dread than the car buying process. She had done her research, knew the types of cars she wanted to test drive, and the locations of the dealerships near her. She had her personal information all accounted for and was prepared to make a purchase if everything fell into place. We planned to all pile into her tiny car she had been driving for 11 years so we had it available as a trade-in. Everything was ready and we were confident that nothing could dismantle our day.

Then we left her apartment.

The first dealership we went to was the brand our family traditionally had purchased. We love the brand and this was sure to be the leader. The people who met us were friendly and welcoming. They passed the first test by making sure they worked directly with my daughter and not me as the Dad. It was odd that we weren’t allowed to test drive on our own and we had to stay in the parking lot with one model and were allowed to go one city block with the other. We were a bit perplexed by that but were still positive. That didn’t last long. We got the obligatory question, “Is there anything you didn’t like?” My daughter said no but expressed that this was the first dealership we had visited and we wanted to see other cars.

The salesperson left to get another salesperson and then offered to evaluate our possible trade-in and give us some comparative data sheets to see why their car couldn’t be beaten. We had been there an hour by this time. The rest of the debacle took another 1 1/2 hours with various moves and distractions trying to get us financed, explore lease options, and hollow promise after hollow promise. My wife and I stepped in after staying on the sidelines to ask for our daughter’s key so we could leave. There was more stalling and then the dealership manager came out to fake plead with us about our poor decision to not make an instant (multi-thousand dollar) purchase.

My daughter was almost in tears and felt sick to her stomach when we finally extricated ourselves from the dealership. She didn’t even want to continue. We did. The second experience was incredible and positive !! The salesperson took time to show every facet of the car and asked what my daughter wanted. She was exhausted and said she didn’t really know. He was patient, thorough and treated her like an adult. The time we spent at the dealership from start to finish was less than an hour and he was in the mix with a brand she wasn’t planning on fully considering.

Let’s just say the third salesperson should find another job. He was apathetic and relied on us to read the tags on the cars to learn about the options available. He did let us drive on our own, but didn’t really care we weren’t interested. The fourth dealership has a salesperson who passed by us and shouted he’d get us keys if we saw a car we like and then proceeded to turn to his “bros” and shout some inane greeting which was far more important than a potential sale.

The day that had started so promising had fallen apart. We convinced our daughter to trust us and try a different dealership from our favorite brand even though it would require us to drive to the other side of the city. We looked things up to see if the model she wanted was even available and it didn’t look like it was. We went anyway, and we’re glad we did !!

At this dealership, salespeople didn’t rush like they were desperate for their commission. The person at the front desk asked us to take a seat and she’d make sure someone helped us. It was systematic, measured and intentional. After a few minutes, we met Chris. He invited us to his desk and spoke solely with our daughter. He was helpful, engaged and patient. He looked to see if the model she wanted was available and one had literally been unloaded into the lot minutes before we arrived. Even though all of the systems weren’t yet activated, he slowly explained everything, answered every question and let us take the car out on our own.

Oh, and we had arrived at the time the dealership was closing for the day. Chris didn’t care. He waited for us to return and then took more time to answer Melanie’s questions and gave her every piece of information she asked for. He didn’t ask for the sale. He just let her know he was available and would welcome any further questions whenever she had them. Then, we left. No car purchased, and he was completely at ease.

Guess who my daughter is going to work with ??

The reason for this story is that I see the same continuum of approaches from vendors and salespeople daily. The focus is primarily on the product or service they offer. Rarely, if ever, does someone ask anything about what I am/am not looking for. Linked In has become more and more a system for cold calling and pressure to accept invitations so people can make their sales pitch. If someone gets your email address, the approach is a mix of shaming, degrading and wondering if they’ve found the “right” person. And, if they hadn’t, would we please forward them on?

Sadly, I don’t feel this is how the best salespeople in our space do business. Fortunately, I am connected to more of them than the ones who keep trying to hammer me with approaches I just don’t see working. They are more like Chris and I believe they are more effective when it comes to selling to HR.

I know that HR owns part of this broken relationship as well with vendors. We don’t return calls, won’t make time to meet people and ostracize people who could be a real resource. We need to be more open as well.

We need to change because we are both important to each other in what we do. I’d love to see us take the steps to do this. Let’s quit the traditional/old school approaches and have some faith in each other. Let’s make better connections with the knowledge that sales will happen when they should and with whom they should. It’s needed now for our industry. Let’s do this a better way !!

Respond Instead

If I asked you how your day was going, how would you answer? I’m 99.9% sure you’d easily say “Good” or “Fine” because it’s polite and expected. The person being asked is hoping with all that’s in them that these one-word retorts will placate the inquisitor enough that they’ll move on. We say these responses because it is the norm of a shallow acknowledgment as humans. We may care how the other person is when we greet them, but chances are we care “ish.”

You see, far more daunting and important battles lay ahead of us. We are sure of it because why else would we venture to work if it wasn’t to slay the dragons that no one else is capable of handling? We tell ourselves we are indispensable due to a mix of self-assuredness and a need to feel valued as a contributor. So, now that the obligatory greetings of our co-workers are complete we can get to the day ahead which is sure to be far more fulfilling. As we open our “to do” list, the inevitable happens . . . something arises that catches us completely off guard. We didn’t want to be interrupted and we can feel our faces start to get hot because we want to stick to the list that we had so carefully crafted sometime before.

Then it happens. The instant it occurs we grasp the air trying to get the words that just spouted out back inside because the tone they carried was sure to sting. We snap. We react. We’re bothered that our idea of a perfect, lined out, step-by-step existence was thwarted because someone had the audacity to break the pattern !! Our reaction is swift, emotional and contrite. We blurt it out because, again, we want to return to what is more important to US. Don’t they understand that by asking for our input they’ve created an imbalance? Don’t they understand that this is so unsettling that I won’t be able to get back into my rhythm?

The answer is – No, they don’t. Nor, do they really care. They’re coming to you for a valid reason . . . they feel you are the one who can help them get things done too !!

I know it’s radical, but we weren’t meant to be isolationists in this world. That is especially true in the workplace. I also don’t think it’s feasible for you to constantly be surrounded by people all day because it would be exhausting and ineffective. (This is coming from one of the biggest self-avowed extroverts you’ll ever meet.)

Since we’re meant to interact, we would be better off by seeking a balance of being prepared and structured while allowing for interruptions and interactions weaved throughout our days. The way to find, and keep, this balance is to choose to respond vs. react. Doing this requires us to resist the environment we all currently find ourselves in.

In today’s rapid mad dash, reactions have become the norm. People expect you to snap back an answer on the fly and without context. We have bought into the myth that if answers aren’t given instantaneously, then they don’t have merit. The pace of social media, snippets, and partial scenarios drives this expectation. Then, if you do react, a multitude of similar reactions come flying back requiring us to react once again – or so we think. We have to break this incessant volley.

You have time. You have time in almost every, single situation of your regular day. I understand that some things may have more urgency, but even in those rushed circumstances you have time to breathe, pause, contemplate, consider, gather context . . . and then respond. You really do.

If we keep in mind that all humans are one giant ball of emotions, reacting is our natural tendency. We can’t help ourselves. That’s why responding takes practice and discipline. You need to take my word for it that this disciplined approach is far more effective and sustainable than being reactionary. Also, it’s not an either/or type of approach. Life never has fallen into two distinct camps where you can pull an answer from a set playbook with certainty to ensure the outcome you’re seeking. This is because people are involved and we just muck it up . . . because we’re human.

This week try to respond more and react less. It will take time and you won’t do it well every time. If you choose to follow this more constructive approach you will see better interactions, more collaboration, in-depth and contextual discussions and you’ll start developing relationships. Also, you’ll make more well-rounded decisions when that interruption hits you.

From now on . . . respond instead.

When We Fail . . .

Failure. No one likes to do it. We are encouraged to not be afraid to fail, and I concur with that. I’m not talking about stumbling if you’re trying to stretch, take a risk or be creative. In fact, tons have been written and shared about the power of learning from failure which is spot on. This was different because it was a personal failure.

For years, I’ve had a heart for helping others who are in transition between jobs. This came to mind when a peer asked me why the HR Roundtable I facilitate didn’t have resumes displayed to help out others. It was convicting and made me mindful of how easy it is to overlook those who don’t have a job when you do. It’s far too easy.

We should be grateful for the jobs we have and reach out to help others at the same time. As I mentioned, I do this on a regular basis. Last week, I failed.

I made a commitment to help someone and connect with them to help network, review their resume and see if I knew some avenues that could open doors to help them land. We shared a few initial emails and then life got in the way. That’s not an excuse. It’s reality. I experienced several significant personal challenges at work and at home within a short period of time. I understand that each one of us has “life” going on, but my focus slipped and my good intentions turned into forgetfulness.

When this person reached back out to me, they were hurt – as they should be. I wasn’t accountable for the help I said I would give. I apologized and shared that I didn’t have an excuse. I mentioned the challenges I had been going through which caused me to forget. He wished me the best in those circumstances but told me to stop helping him. I was crushed. Still am.

If you haven’t been in transition, you don’t empathize. It’s hard to put into words the ups and downs you experience. You can feel great optimism and overwhelming dread within the same day. You yearn for assistance from others and hope that someone will be the connector that lands you in your next role. The challenge in this rollercoaster of emotions is that all you want to do is land. Once you do, you unfortunately fall into the same comfort level as every other employed person. You’re safe. You soon forget what it was like to be in transition.

That’s why this is so raw for me. I’ve been in transition. I strive to be a resource for others. And yet, I am still human. I will fail others. I hope that when I do fail that I’ll get some grace to try and correct the situation. That won’t always occur, but I’m not discouraged.

In contrast, another situation happened this past week. A friend of mine actually landed after an extensive search. I was fortunate to be one of many who reached out to talk to her and encourage her. Please note, we’ve never met in person only through social media. She’s in the Seattle, Washington area while I’m in Greater Cincinnati, Ohio. She was appropriately geeked to share her good news and I can’t wait to see how she will continue to grow and thrive now that she’s landed. I also know she is going to share her journey to help others which will be wonderful to follow.

Both stories are examples of the gamut job seekers face. I encourage you to be someone who steps in and lends a hand. Even if you stumble in your efforts, it’s worth it. We all fail. We also move forward.

Lower Seeds !!

This weekend one of my favorite events began – the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament. I’ve always enjoyed watching all of the games because I played basketball all through high school and even had a few offers to play at the collegiate level. So, when the tournament comes on, I’m hooked. I make sure to fill out brackets and love that people get excited to participate as well.

I don’t usually have connections with the teams who participate, but that doesn’t lessen the interest. This year, however, my alma mater Ohio University, made the tournament !! This isn’t new. They have been to the tournament several times and have done well. However, it’s a smaller university so they will rarely have the opportunity to come in as one of the higher (favored) seeds. That’s okay with me though. Getting to participate is the first hurdle in this tournament.

This Saturday, they were the #13 seed and they played the #4 seed the University of Virginia who also was the team that won the last National Championship. The odds were not in our favor. That was amplified by listening to the announcers who rarely talked positively about Ohio’s efforts. It was more about what Virginia wasn’t doing. This isn’t different in other games either. I’m sure the network tells the announcers to talk up the higher seeds because they are typically bigger schools, larger brand names and . . . potential revenue because more people will watch teams they know vs. a bunch of underdogs.

Photo by Midge Mazur @midgemazur on Twitter – from Ohio University Twitter page @ohiou

I’m geeked to say that OU beat Virginia and I was screaming and jumping up and down as if I was in person. As the game was coming to a close, the announcers were forced to acknowledge that the lower seed had won. It gave me great joy both as an alum and because I LOVE seeing the lower seeds win !! It’s a great facet of the NCAA tournament because any team can win and advance. The big-name programs do win more often than not, but it’s not a guarantee.

I find that we give far too much attention to the big names and brands when it comes to the world of work as well. When giant, global conglomerates make a move, it gets national press online immediately. If a smaller company made the same moves, just on a smaller scale, you wouldn’t even know it. We are enamored with those that are biggest, most visible and generate the most revenue. That’s ironic to me because the vast majority of people work for companies that would be considered “lower seeds.”

You see, I think talent exists in all companies. The brand name and notoriety of an organization is admirable, but it shouldn’t infer that they have better internal talent. I’m sure they are full of talented people as well as those that can grow with development . . . Just like every other company !! We shouldn’t get enamored and blinded by size alone.

I don’t think there’s a singular answer or approach that works to address this lack of exposure and participation. We can’t help but focus on the Fortune “x” companies because of their scale and resources. It’s true they may have more leverage to move the needle in some areas, but it’s not an accurate assessment that they influence the majority of work. Great work is happening everywhere.

What would our profession look like if we made sure to listen to HR voices from all types of industry and from companies of various sizes? How much more would we influence, shape, and transform our own organizations if we took a look at the whole field instead of just the top seeds? What if senior HR pros from small, midsize, and large companies filled Board seats and were able to participate in larger arenas?

Let me encourage you if you work in HR for a “lower seed.” I have for the majority of my career and it’s been amazing. It’s outstanding if your efforts move your company forward because that should be your goal on a regular basis. You can also make an impact on the profession as a whole. It can happen locally, nationally and globally. Go into each game with confidence. You’re in the tournament for a reason. Go out, play hard and see what happens !!

Be the Reason !!

Can you feel the change in the air? Spring is upon us and that’s exciting. With the change in seasons, there’s a renewed hope with everything budding and breaking through the ground. I can’t help but sense the energy around me lifting. I hope you sense it as well.

The question is, what will you do with it? Will you embrace the influx of newness or will you look past it? Instead of embracing the bright colors emerging everywhere, you keep your head down and remain focused on what you think truly matters. All of this stepping back and being reflective is seen as a waste of time and not productive. Each moment that isn’t consumed with work, completing tasks and taking on more is unacceptable. How can you even afford to step away from the multiple drivers that pull you in numerous ways?

It’s easy to follow the inner voices which tell you to overlook all that is going on around you. We believe if we pause, then something “critical” surely won’t get done. It’s not true. It never has been. Even though we know that we have more than enough time available daily, we act as if we don’t. When we refuse to slow down for even a moment, we miss the most important thing in the world – the people around us.

Just this weekend I was at church grabbing a cup of coffee, and as I was taking a sip, a friend noted, “Hi there !! It’s great to see your face again.” You see, we’ve been behind masks for over a year, and I had forgotten the reality that we only see half of our faces. The best attribute each one of us has doesn’t get seen nearly as much as it had in the past – our smile.

My friend got to see a brief glimpse of mine between sips and it reminded me how easy it is to overlook the simple things. By taking a moment to notice me, she made me smile. She was able to capture the energy that is all around us. We have been longing to recapture the spark that pulls us together and binds us as humans for over a year. I understand that we see each other’s faces, but the majority of that happens virtually. It isn’t the same as seeing each other in person.

We have a great opportunity staring at us if we choose to embrace it. What would your day look like if you were the reason to make them smile? What simple act could you do to make a genuine connection and break them out of the malaise that threatens to swallow us? What would your life be like if you made this a regular practice and not just a response to get away from the experience we’ve all gone through?

People are aching to reconnect. People are struggling because of isolation and the lack of time to be with each other socially. It’s affecting our wellbeing and, unfortunately, it’s prevalent.

We should consistently be the reason someone smiles. I think we’ve lost the willingness, and the ability, to do this because we’ve remained in that trap of being focused on everything but people. It needs to change, and it needs to happen now.

We can make this our own personal Spring. Let’s come back to life. Let’s plant a seed of kindness and joy all the time. Will you join me?

Be the reason.

Dear Sir or Madam, Would You Read My Book?

The world has changed. It’s too early to tell if that’s for the better or not, but there’s no denying it has changed. So too has the world of work. As with most shifts we experience in the business world, people are speculating, posturing, and predicting in order to give our new working environment definition and structure. Most of it is trying to reflect the obvious with words like “dealing with”, “managing” or “measuring” the remote workforce. You’ll also see pieces on “managing the effort to return to work” and “what policies do we need now?”

You see, work has changed . . . but we haven’t.

At a time when HR stepped forward to lead through all that landed on us throughout 2020, we are quickly falling back into the patterns which have limited us for decades. We were quick to be agile and adaptable, but now that we’ve been in a continuous crisis response mode for over a year, we want to return to limiting and restricting work in order for it to fit into various compartments of control. We need to move forward. We need to step out, and we need to lead !!

Last year, right in the middle of everything hitting the fan, I released my second book; HR Rising !! From Ownership to Leadership. I wrote it as a call for our profession to step out of the shadows we have so willingly stayed in for far too long. Ironically, the book was complete and sent to publishing before the world turned upside down.

It was reassuring to me to see HR step up and lead last year and show organizations that ALL issues in companies are people issues. To be relevant and sustainable in the present, and the future, companies need to become people-centric in order to perform and not only in response to a series of global crises. There were countless examples of how Human Resources pros showed the value of empathy, consistency, equity, social responsibility, and genuine focus for the care of employees.

This should be a springboard for us and not just a moment in time. When I wrote HR Rising it was a call for the profession to embrace change and move forward. It was a challenge to no longer settle for a traditional approach to culture, employee relations, and the overall practice of HR. There is no reason why we shouldn’t be a vital, integrated business function ALL the time. It is not a stretch for us to lead from the positions we currently hold, and I feel we are called to do so.

Just think what our companies will look like and how meaningful work would be if we switched to a focus on development, encouragement, and equipping staff. How exciting would it be for you to drive strategy, organizational change and see an engaged workforce because HR leads the way? Not just now, but all. the. time.

We can’t think that we can continue to practice HR the way we have. It’s outdated, and if we don’t move now, we will be as well. I wrote this book to change the profession that I love. The profession that I intentionally plan to grow with for the rest of my career. I ask you to check it out and see how you can evolve in how you practice HR. I ask you to choose to lead. Let’s reshape the profession and the world of work so people-centric cultures focused on performance, resilience, and vitality become our norm !!

The title of the post came from four lads whom I have always found to be revolutionary. And now, it’s our time !!

A Cup of Coffee

It’s hard to believe that the pandemic is approaching its one-year anniversary. I’m sure no one expected or wanted to go through a single moment of this. There are so many things that have been changed forever. At first, people were hopeful for a return to what they were accustomed to because that was our norm. Societal change was forced upon us and it has been challenging. It continues to press upon everyone in various ways.

The aspect of life that I have missed the most is being able to gather in person with others. I’m not talking about mass events like conferences, concerts or sporting events. I have missed grabbing a cup of coffee and hanging out in coffee shops.

This past weekend, my daughter came to visit which is something my wife and I always enjoy. We caught up, talked about her work and life and then settled into having her around the house. She asked me if I’d like to go check out a new coffee shop that one of her high school classmates recently opened. It was a half-hour drive from our house and the ride was incredible. Having one-on-one time with your child should always be a blessing regardless of their age. The conversation flowed easily and we were taking note of the sights of a neighborhood we weren’t familiar with as we looked for the coffee shop.

As we pulled into a parking spot along a crowded street, we saw the converted mechanic’s garage which was now the Square Mile Coffee Company. We were able to order a couple of wonderful hot beverages AND take a seat in the coffee shop !! It was magnificent. It was just as I remembered it even though the tables were spaced miles apart. There were others in the coffee shop as well and it was touching to hear the banter and laughter from one group while another person was sitting with his laptop.

I know that we’re still far from being able to be social in person on a larger scale. However, the glimmer of hope that this visit to a coffee shop gave me was just what I needed. There are more and more conversations happening about people experiencing loneliness and fatigue. What would happen if you took a step to have a cup of coffee with someone today? I understand that you may not be able to do it in person, but you could still make it happen. Sure, we’re all tired of looking at screens, but what if you took a look at it a bit differently?

Having some focused time to have a conversation with someone may just be the lift they need. It will recharge you as well. This week, I’m going to be intentional in reaching out to my peers in HR who would like to grab a coffee and some conversation. It’s going to be one-on-one and I really don’t care what we talk about. The work we do in HR is hard and we often don’t have someone to talk to that understands all that goes into being an HR practitioner. I’m not complaining. I’m just stating a reality.

I want to make the time for this to make this a new practice and not something to return to. I have decided to stop waiting for our environment to change. We can get together now. Don’t be surprised if I reach out to you to ask for a few minutes to share a hot cup of coffee (or your preferred beverage). I’d encourage you to do the same with those you know.

Let’s have a cup of coffee !!

Others Needed

This past week I joined a conversation with friends on Clubhouse. Now, I know it’s all the new rage, and it’s fun to see people get excited about gathering.

(Quick obligatory disclaimer – This post isn’t about the new platform, and I understand it works with iPhone users and not Android users at this time. It isn’t about jumping on a bandwagon either. Read the rest of the post and you’ll see why . . .)

I was asked to join four friends and we were going to talk about leading remote workers. What was amazing is that the five of us were located in New York City, New York; Granada, Spain; Manchester, England; Concord, New Hampshire and Cincinnati, Ohio. As others joined in the chat, there were others from all corners of the planet. It fascinates me that peers chose to show up for a conversation !! And, then it hit me . . .

Our topic was timely and is something facing the new definition of work and the workspace. Noted. It also had people with different perspectives and experiences with this new environment. Noted again. What was most intriguing to me though was the engagement, energy, respect, laughter and encouragement !! Then it sank in . . .

We need others in our lives.

I think this simple notion is overlooked and misconstrued in far too many ways. We come up with ways to discredit, distance or overanalyze this human reality. We want to say that there’s “more to it” because it can’t be that basic. We are far too intelligent, complex and knowledgeable. We can’t just “need” each other.

It is that simple.

If you know me at all, I thrive on connecting people. It drives me and fills my bucket. I want to make sure that anyone I encounter is not only connected to me, but to others who may anchor them more to reaffirm that they are needed. I’m not kidding. I would think that a significant portion of every day is made up of various quick check-ins and barometer checks with friends around the globe. This is on top of having the same approach with the people I’m fortunate enough to work with. As humans, we are wired with a desire to be connected and needed by others.

I’m concerned that people are walking in and around us feeling lonely, isolated and not wanted. There is a myriad of reasons why that is their reality. I’m not going to be bold enough to try to give a litany of reasons for this disconnectedness. I don’t have to have a “reason” to connect with others. If you’re a fellow human, you’ve passed the only criteria I find necessary. People don’t need to jump through hoops in order to know they’re needed with me. Nor do I fault someone else who feels they need to make sure it’s safe and valuable for them to connect with me.

While we were having our chat, I also took the time to tweet and share some of the insights that people were giving. You could feel the energy of our time together grow even more !! People who weren’t able to join could now learn and comment. You see, I feel we get into a trap of getting excited about events and our focus is purely on those that participate at the time. That is incredible, but the way we make sure others are aware, informed, interested and even geeked is if we have a mixture of an internal and external mechanism with interactions. This isn’t for notoriety. It’s to make sure no one is left out.

This week look around. You’re going to have a multitude of conversations and interactions in person, virtually and online. Keep your head up and make sure the others you’re talking to know they’re needed . . . on purpose. Don’t assume that just because they’re in the conversation that they’re connected. You can be a person who becomes THE anchor for someone and not even know it. You may unlock the talent of someone because they were intentionally acknowledged.

Remember you’re needed. Others need you and you need others. It’s that simple.