Be the Spark !!

I’ve never been someone to sit on the sidelines. Whatever the situation or opportunity is, I tend to fully jump in quickly. I may make a quick assessment of what is going on around me, but I guess I feel more comfortable diving in than waiting around. I am not the kind of person who waits for “just the right time” to get involved. Most of the time, things have worked out well by following this approach. There have been a few misses. I’m sure that’s going to occur if you are someone who also jumps in.

The reason I have always leapt first is that I’ve been surrounded by others who did the same thing. My parents were always active at home, at our school, our church and in the community. Those I was close to were also people who felt more “complete” the more they were involved in a variety of groups and activities. The model was community and involvement. I rarely remember a time when we weren’t in situations involving several people coming together.

I describe my time in high school as being involved in almost every extracurricular club that was offered. The clubs ranged from athletics to academics to the arts. In most of the groups I participated in, I also took on a leadership role. I wanted to be in a position where I could encourage others and get them geeked about their involvement in the club as well. This same approach continued through college and throughout my career.

Over the years, I’ve been a volunteer leader in HR, for our zoo, in my church, in our kid’s schools and sports teams, and in Boy Scouts. Each time I ventured into a new group, I became more and more motivated by the new people I met. I have treasured getting to know peers in my profession, kids and their families and other great people from all walks of life.

You see, I don’t view leadership in these activities as being “in charge” of anything or anyone. I see them as being in a position to be the spark someone needs to unlock their talent. It’s been key to see each person who is engaged in groups be valued, acknowledged and seen as talented regardless of their role or level or participation. People want to do their best and have a genuine opportunity to participate. They became a part of a group to be included and not overlooked. It’s astonishing to see what happens when you see someone’s spark turn into a flame and hopefully into a full-blown passion.

I’ve seen kids who never thought they’d succeed in sports play with intensity and drive because I believed in them as their coach. I’ve seen scouts who would never speak in front of a group grow, develop and become leaders in the Troop and in their community. I’ve seen HR peers become stronger businesspeople that moved from being transactional to strategic within their organizations. The list goes on and on because I was willing to be a spark in their lives.

I list these “accomplishments” purely as an analogy. You can also be the spark in others’ lives. Think what our organizations would look like with you as a firestarter that viewed your employees as the immense talents they already are. With your attention and encouragement, you could unlock a passion that has yet to be revealed.

People want to go through life filled with passion far more than you realize. All they need is someone who believes in them. YOU have that ability to be the spark in all those in your life. You need to know this !! This coming week as you head to all that you’re doing, strike the match of passion that is waiting to burst forth. Be the spark !!

Practice Gratitude Daily

We just celebrated Thanksgiving this past week and it was wonderful. We had a small gathering of my wife and daughter. Our son just started a new job, so he couldn’t get away to travel home. We enjoyed a traditional feast of turkey and a multitude of sides including a batch of old-fashioned ambrosia salad !!

We took time to turn off all of our devices and screens so we could just focus on each other. It was perfect . . . as a moment in time. In the midst of all of the ongoing turmoil and challenges facing society and each person in some form or another, we gave thanks. It’s intriguing that we set aside one day in 365 to give thanks. One. Day. I’m not blind to the fact that some feel they can’t even enjoy this one day because of all that may be facing them.

It takes an effort to express gratitude. It seems to come naturally for some, but for most of us, there needs to be a defined focus to break through the muck and darkness that we continue to swim through. This is a shame because there is so much to be grateful for personally. We have a chance to be the light that breaks through the shadows people walk in, but it will cost you something. It’s the one thing that we feel is already scarce and fleeting each day. Our time.

It’s been proven that something becomes a habit if you practice it daily for at least 21 days. As small of a hurdle as this is, we perceive it to be an insurmountable mountain. There is no mountain. The obstacle is only the small voice in our head that says that we should be shackled to other things that “matter.” What if the action that “mattered” to you was expressing gratitude to others around you?

How would someone else’s day go if you said “Hello” and then actually stayed put to see how they’re doing? What would their day be like if you celebrated with them about an accomplishment in their family’s life? Would you see different outcomes in your interactions if you complimented and encouraged someone for their work and effort?

I think you know the answer to these questions because when someone else did this for you, it made your day brighter. How much “time” do questions and conversations like this take? We don’t even know because we either think doing this is daunting or a waste of our precious time. We couldn’t be more wrong.

Trust me on this. The time you spend investing in the lives of others is the most productive use of your time possible. It’s time to turn the tide of how people interact in our homes, our neighborhoods, and our workplaces. Instead of falling into the muck of negativity, pause, breathe and express gratitude about something, anything. Fight the urge to follow the surge of uncertainty and be an anchor of positivity as an alternative. It may give those you encounter the brief respite they needed and you didn’t even know it.

Daily gratitude isn’t about you. It’s about others. This week start a new habit that will be fulfilling in ways you can’t even yet fathom. Switch from setting aside one day per year to be thankful for everything, to practicing daily gratitude so that every day is filled with at least one grateful occurrence. See what happens . . .

Glad to Help

This past weekend our daughter made her first big adult purchase – a new car !! My wife and I drove up to be with her for support and advice if she needed it. We wanted to be there just in case things got challenging, but we expected her to be the decision-maker throughout the entire process. To say she was anxious and excited would be an understatement. It took about 30 minutes to drive from her apartment to the car dealership. That only made her anticipation grow even more. She felt she had prepared for every potential question and possibility.

As we arrived at the dealership, she boldly walked in and asked for Chris – who had been her contact for the past few months. He wasn’t there. She stammered and began to have a twinge of doubt about what she had envisioned as a perfect day. “But, I have an appointment at 11:00am.” The person who greeted us was so gracious and told us not to worry. She would make sure to get us someone to help with the car purchase. I could see her becoming nervous, but that soon changed. Enter Dave.

This young man came over directly to Melanie and said, “I understand you’re here to get a new car. I’m sorry Chris couldn’t be here. I’ll be glad to help you through this. It’s going to be a great day.” There was no pressure and he didn’t come across as being put off for having to fill in for Chris. In fact, he apologized for the mix-up and assured us over and over that everything was going to be fine. He was right. We were at the dealership for three hours !! However, it didn’t feel like it. The folks working were attentive, courteous, diligent and mindful. They kept us informed each step of the way from turning in her old car, to financing, to let us test drive the car before she made a final decision to whether we needed anything to drink. The entire process was excellent.

As we were going through everything, I sat back and watched as other potential customers came through the dealership. Each person was treated the same way and they either walked away being informed since they were “just looking” or they ordered a vehicle to get their process going. In fact, Dave took potential customers while also attending to our daughter.

During one of the many conversations throughout our time there, Dave explained they were short-staffed (like most employers these days). He stated over and over how much he appreciated our patience. We were all so impressed with the service that was given that it was easy to be patient. In the back of my mind though, I felt he thanked us because not every customer had been patient on other days. You could sense his relief.

That made me reflect on what is happening in the service industry today. You see, this hits home because I work for a restaurant chain that relies on the amazing frontline people in our locations, our manufacturing plant, and our call center. I hear countless stories of guests who lose their patience at the drop of a hat. It takes very little for some to yell, confront or walk away from an interaction when they came to enjoy a meal. If you read about how people who give service are experiencing work these days, this is becoming the norm and not the exception.

The difference today is that employees are willing to leave themselves instead of being treated poorly. That shouldn’t be surprising. No one wants to be treated poorly when they’re trying to genuinely meet a customer’s needs. Grace is being shown less and less and it’s affecting our workplaces.

We all can change this approach and we can do it immediately !! The experience we had with Dave should be an example of how to keep calm, assess the situation and see how to move forward. He stepped in and my daughter was grateful that he did. She didn’t bemoan the fact that her original contact had something come up. Life happens and there is SOOOOOOOO much more in life than having something take a different direction unexpectedly.

We need to remember that we leave an impression on every person we encounter every time we encounter them. Every. Time. That impact can be memorable in a positive way just as much as it can be in a negative way. Those who work in frontline roles don’t get to choose how you’re going to treat them. They experience things based on the choices you make.

This week start to keep in mind those who serve. They strive to do great work to take care of you. Thank them. Treat them well and let them know you value what they do. This should be true in your own organization and also with anyone you meet in other situations.

At the end of our time at the dealership, Melanie got her car and we ended up with an incredible experience. I plan to tell everyone about him and the good folks at Bill Estes Toyota. We’re thankful they were glad to help us and set an example of how workplaces and interactions can be all the time !!

A Little Respect

It seems that almost every conversation these days is tenuous. People are hesitant to talk to each other about the most mundane subjects because they’re concerned about the potential reaction they’ll receive. This has led to people becoming more and more separated. The separation in turn leads to very slanted opinions and people dig their heels in on whatever is being bantered about.

We need to be able to have opinions and we need to be able to share them. We learn from each other and hear many perspectives when people feel they can not only give their thoughts on topics but that they will be heard. I wish this were the case versus what is currently happening in society, on social media, and in the news in general. This constant edginess has eroded one component which could pull us together – respect.

In the workplace, we cannot let this erosion occur. We have to foster diversity of thought and varying viewpoints so that we experience collaboration and interconnectedness. This isn’t some Utopian encouragement. It needs to be the foundation and expectation of your employees. Respect each other and what each person brings to the table. People want to add value through their contributions in their roles. This is true at every level of the organization.

What are you seeing at your company? Do people respect one another? Are you aware of whether they are or aren’t?

We spend so much time trying to dictate behavior through programmatic efforts hoping that if people follow certain steps of a process, then collaboration will magically occur just “because.” We limit intentional interaction and relationship building because we believe the myth that productivity will be adversely reduced if people are spending too much time talking with each other.

HR has the opportunity to step in and create an environment and a culture that brings people together. By giving respect to each employee and acknowledging that their efforts make an impact and meaningful difference to the success of the company, you’ll find that you create engagement. It’s not something to measure. It’s something to practice. We can do this by giving people two things – our time and attention.

Honestly, that’s what every person wants more than anything each day. And yet, it’s what we struggle with more than any other aspect of our job. Isn’t it ironic that human interaction is where we spend the least amount of our time? We fall into the trap that time is being wasted when that just isn’t the truth.

This weekend I was fortunate to attend the retirement celebration of my wife’s boss who has worked in her role for 45 years. The night was wonderful because people came in from all over the country who had worked with her through the years to tell her congratulations and “Thank You.” When it came time to give speeches, each person talked about the unending impact she made by giving each person her time, attention and listening ear. They didn’t talk about her sage advice or visionary direction. She gave them respect and they now had a chance to show her how impactful that was.

She has always been a people person and when she took the podium the room fell silent. Through teary eyes, she thanked everyone and said, “You need to know that every one of you I worked with over this time mattered. Every. One.” She was overwhelmed and humbled by the turnout and the adulation.

You see she lived out the key to respect – In order to get respect, you need to give it first.

This coming week take a few moments to gauge where your time, focus and efforts are being spent. If it’s not investing your time in others, you’re just missing a chance to lay the groundwork of a culture that will be far more inviting, engaging and meaningful than what you’re experiencing now. Turn the tide of division and step into the gap to give respect to those around you. It works.

Trick or Treat ??

I took the past couple of weeks off from blogging. It wasn’t because I needed a break. I just didn’t have something to write about. Work had been moving along with a few bumps and things at home were good as well. Then, I hit a tough week. I mean every. single. day.

Nothing seemed to be falling into place. People around me were stressed for one reason or another. There was a heightened sense of urgency on some items that came up unexpectedly while other items that needed attention seemed to fade into the mist. For every good thing that happened (and they did), the countermove that followed seemed to create a deeper and deeper rut. It was unsettling because there was no reason for what was happening. You couldn’t step back and point to certain triggers or causes because each situation felt like it appeared out of nowhere. I was in a place I rarely find myself which was disconcerting.

I understand that ups and downs or ebbs and flows are natural. I’m grateful for those because they ensure variety occurs which everyone enjoys. We don’t want things to be mundane. If last week had followed this pattern, I would have felt that work was happening “normally.” These seismic waves of emotions that came up though were much more drastic than the regular high tides and low tides of work.

The question that you have to ask yourself when you experience these massive sways is – How should I respond?

This year Halloween falls on a Sunday and the last time that happened was in the year 2010 !! I enjoy the holiday and I especially love the kids who visit our house for candy. I’m a traditionalist and expect the kids to exclaim – “Trick or Treat !!” It’s always a treat for everyone who stops by and makes handing out candy so enjoyable.

Back to my rough week. Would I respond as if what I’m facing is a trick or treat? The natural urge is to quickly lash out emotionally because we think that a quick release will work. We think this reaction will at least get the ball of angst out hoping it will quickly dissipate and things can fall back into balance. It never works. Ever. Pulling a “trick” on others will give you a short high and a feeling of fulfillment as your vengeful action takes place. The fallout though will be far worse than the situation you’re facing.

You could also retreat and swallow the mix of emotions swirling around you. This response is as damaging as the vocal burst. People may think you’re doing well on the outside, but inside you’re dying. Putting up a facade may feel effective, but the situation you’re facing is still moving in full force. Stepping aside is more of a personal “trick” on yourself.

I’ve found the best course of action is two do two things – (1) Breathe and collect yourself and then (2) Intentionally move into all that is swirling around and take it on. I can’t guarantee the outcome will be positive, but it’s far more of a “treat” than other options. This is true for you personally AND it gives you an approach to teach others when they find themselves in the midst of their own rough weeks – which will happen.

You need to know that I followed my own advice. Even though I felt like I was being buried by an avalanche, I kept moving forward to not let things swallow me. I fought the strong urges to bellow at a few folks when I could sense it coming on. I also made myself shake off the small voice in my head that was encouraging me to just sit back because everything would work out.

I’m looking forward to this coming week. I don’t anticipate another rough week ahead, but it could happen. You never know. The reassurance that I have an approach I can rely on puts me at ease. I hope you follow this approach as well.

Fully Immersed !!

This past weekend my wife, daughter and I went to the Newfields Art Museum to take in the incredible digital experience featuring the artwork of Vincent Van Gogh. It took place in the LUME Indianapolis and it’s hard to adequately describe. You follow the crowd of people who are about to experience this with you. Slowly, you inch up three floors of escalators which only makes the anticipation of what is ahead grow. Your tickets are scanned on your phone and then you enter a vast expanse that covers almost an entire floor of the museum.Classical music starts to play and wrap around you as the first images come to life. The story of Van Gogh is displayed in words on various screens that tower over you. What is different with this art installation from any other I have experienced is that every surface is covered in color, imagery, and movement. Your eyes can’t keep up with all that is around you. The paintings of Van Gogh wrap around you and you are “inside” them. You see people take pictures of themselves fully covered in a mixture of blues, yellows, greens, whites, and reds. When his famous sunflowers come up people look like a field of wallpaper that blots out their outfits.

My family Van Gogh’d !!

The response of people as they took in all that was happening ranged from elation to disbelief to boredom. I hate to say that, but it’s like any experience. You can’t get everyone to enjoy what they’re going through. Some seemed like they were there for their partner/spouse and that support was appreciated even if they didn’t get lost in the art. My wife, daughter and I were lost completely. We didn’t even know the other person was in the room. I turned around to point something out and saw that they were taking in something that caught their attention. I didn’t want to shape or influence their experience. I knew we would share later what captured our attention.

One of the biographical pieces that came up on the screen was that Van Gogh was incredibly prolific and he created 2,000 drawings and pictures the last 10 years of his life. Keep in mind that he unfortunately only lived to be 37 years old. He also had mental health struggles in the midst of his immense creative output. It’s quite remarkable. It’s as if he couldn’t keep up with all that was flowing from him. He was as fully immersed in his art as much as we were surrounded by it at the exhibit.

His art is still so moving 130 years after his death. That is fascinating to comprehend. We wonder if the work we’re doing in HR sometimes has an impact at all, don’t we?

I think we can take a lesson from this exhibit and from the artist. If we would quit viewing ourselves as “practitioners,” we could take on the mantle of fully immersing ourselves in our profession, our roles and our organizations. Trust me when I tell you that when you see HR all around you, then you no longer see what you do as a job. I have tried to do this for years. It may seem a bit odd, but I think that every aspect of my life can be applied to the “art” I get to create as an HR professional.

This week, take a look at how you view what you do and how you see yourself. Are you only practicing HR? If so, pick up your brushes, find a canvas and immerse yourself. Don’t settle as an observer. Become the artist you were destined to be. You’ll be pleased at what starts to come to life !!

Don’t Be an Entertainer !!

If I was able to ask you how you’re doing as a human right now, how would you answer? I’m sure there would be a myriad of responses. Some would be genuine and some would be polite. Some would be in-depth and raw while others would be short and concise. There’s no telling what the answer could be, but it’s a question I think we should be asking on a more regular basis.

You see, I’m concerned. I’m concerned about my peers in HR who are plastering on a smiley face every day just to make it through. There are those who are not faking it and are intensely positive because it’s how they’re wired. I love when you encounter those folks, and I wish there were more people who adopted this approach to life and work. The reality is that people are struggling. There are varying degrees of what people are experiencing, but struggling is becoming far more the norm for everyone in the workplace – especially if you’re in HR.

The reason I feel it’s more prevalent in Human Resources professionals is that many don’t think they are allowed to be “human” themselves. We adopt an arm’s length facade to keep people from knowing who we are. We can show all of the necessary empathy and understanding for others, but rarely is that reciprocated back to HR pros. We’re expected to be the “entertainers” of the organization and it’s exasperating.

I’ve mentioned in the past that I’m a giant music freak and one of my favorite artists is the legendary Billy Joel. One of my favorite songs came from one of his earliest albums, Streetlife Serenade. It’s called “The Entertainer” and it captures exactly what I see happening in HR. The first verse goes like this . . .

“I am the entertainer
And I know just where I stand
Another serenader
And another long-haired band
Today I am your champion
I may have won your hearts
But I know the game
You’ll forget my name
And I won’t be here in another year
If I don’t stay on the charts, oh”

HR people always feel the pressure to be “on.” Trust me. We feel we need to “stay on the charts” if we’re to have any meaningful impact on the company. It’s true with everyone I know whether they’re a new practitioner just starting or a CHRO. It’s great that we are the “people” people in companies as long as we don’t express our humanity ourselves. This needs to stop. There’s never been a great reason for us to take this posture, and it honestly has distanced us within organizations.

It’s safe and okay to be vulnerable, flawed, quirky, uncertain, and curious. We can drop the guarded wall we put up and allow ourselves to be as emotional as every other person we work with. We can share our life experiences and our ups and downs. We can be frustrated and elated. However, we can’t experience that freedom if we keep holding on to the “entertainer” mantle.

We need to realize that employees today expect to have an HR connection that they can relate to. The days of being the compliance enforcer have evaporated. There continues to be a group of “experts” who pound the drum of processes/policies/procedures that should lead everything we do, but they’re wrong, old-fashioned and irrelevant.

With more and more organizations moving to a people-first approach, HR has to set the standard by being people first themselves. This is the expectation of how the workplace has evolved over the past twenty months. There isn’t going to be a retreat. It’s time to blaze the trail that awaits us. Stop being an entertainer and embrace being a human . . . in HR.

One last nugget. You can’t reference this incredible song without letting you enjoy it as well !! So, here you go.

You Gotta Minute ??

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind because I was able to speak to my HR peers at both the SHRM Annual Conference and the Georgia SHRM State Conference in person and the Pennsylvania SHRM State Conference virtually. It’s been a long time since I’ve had these opportunities and I relish them. Any chance I get to be with others who practice HR, I’m geeked !! Seriously. Very few things fill my bucket as much as this.

I was able to spend more time in person at the SHRM Annual Conference and I was humbled to be able to speak at two Mega sessions. When I walked into the room, my jaw dropped. As I stood on the stage, I couldn’t see the back of the room. I couldn’t believe that I’d have the chance to ever speak in such a vast space. It’s hard to not be anxious wondering if the room will fill or not. I don’t take that for granted because I know that I’m usually one of many great options. So, when people choose to attend I appreciate them more than they probably know.

The room was filled each time with the second session having even more folks than the first. We laughed, learned, and even made it through loud thunderclaps as a torrential thunderstorm came up right when I started to speak. It was a wonderful time !!

After I finish a presentation, the most humbling thing occurs. People are kind enough to come up to chat and share their thoughts about what they heard. They also share their experiences which I always like to hear. Some ask questions and some even want to take a selfie. The biggest thing they are looking for is my time and attention. I never take this for granted and give them as much time as they’d like.

Throughout the week, I made sure to walk through the conference, hang out at the SHRM store, and just hang with the attendees. More than a few times, people came up to me and asked, “You gotta minute?” I always said, “Yes.” I have to admit that these conversations were so meaningful and touching because the folks who stopped me wanted to share what they were facing personally in their current HR role. Most of them were very emotional and there were several tears shed. I’m not ashamed of that. If you know me at all, I’ll cry at any time. I love it when people exhibit their emotions.

You see, I think that the work of HR is hard. It’s hard because we intentionally work with people, and people can be exhausting. That includes us as HR pros too by the way . . . because we’re people too. Too often we don’t have a strong network of peers that we can reach out to, rely on, or dump our bucket with. We try to slog through our circumstances on our own and don’t realize the power of having HR peers you can reach out to.

The peers I spoke with wanted to be heard, listened to and valued. They wanted to be reassured that the work they did mattered – just like everyone in our workplaces. I don’t want you to think this is a “woe is me” type of situation. We’re far too busy doing work that we completely ignore the people. As HR pros, we propagate this and it slowly sucks out our souls.

This needs to change. And, it needs to change now. You see the ONLY thing that every person has to give is time. AND people are worth our time !! The best thing about the conferences I participated in was the interactions I had with the attendees – not that they got to listen to me. I wouldn’t exchange those chats for anything else. Let’s make our profession stronger by intentionally giving each other our time and attention.

If someone asks, “You gotta minute?” – I hope you say, “Yes” as well. You’ll be glad you did !!

Go Into The Storm !!

We seek comfort in all facets of our lives. It’s something that gives us peace and certainty. We don’t like to be uncomfortable at all. Even though that’s what we strive for, it’s difficult to maintain because storms inevitably come. Storms come in all shapes and sizes ranging from personal challenges to natural disasters. What may seem to be trivial to some could be overwhelming for others.

The reality of ongoing storms has been on my mind because I’m fortunate to work in Human Resources. Yes, fortunate. I don’t take my career choice lightly because I have the opportunity to be involved in the lives of others. I don’t know that many of my peers view HR in the same manner. I think that’s because we have decades of practice that have sought to reach that state of comfort and a sense of calm as our primary goal.

Think about it. During your day, are you spending more time keeping things in line than anything else? Don’t get me wrong, there is value in reaching comfort at times. However, those in HR tend to make this their primary reason for being in the role, and I think this completely overlooks the humanity of the people we work with. We skate along the surface of polite and courteous interactions while skirting around any potential for conflict, controversy, or any action that would be unsettling.

By doing this, I think we are missing out on making a deep and lasting connection with our employees. It’s time we ran into the storms !! There’s a unique characteristic of buffaloes. You may wonder where this is going, but you need to know that when a storm comes upon a herd of buffalo, they band together and run toward it to get through it quicker rather than avoid the storm for protection.

What would your workplace look like if you were the one who stepped in to know your people more? When you heard about what they were facing, what if you slowed down and listened to them? Just listened.

I’m not suggesting that you be cavalier, reckless or arrogant feeling you could solve the storms swirling in the lives around you. This isn’t about bringing about solutions. It’s merely encouraging you to be the person who runs into the storms to help others get through them. You can do this by standing up for those who aren’t regularly seen or heard. You can do this by not always saying “Yes” and challenging supervisors, people managers, and senior leaders in order to do the right thing.

Running into storms takes courage and a willingness to be intentional even when others will advise you not to. The urge to conform and flee from the storms in our path is difficult to overcome. Keep this in mind though.

If YOU don’t run towards the storm, who will?

The people in our lives and at our workplaces are yearning for someone who will come alongside them to weather all they are facing. Let’s band together as a profession, an industry and as a community as HR professionals. Storms are brewing on the horizon. Let’s start running right at them !!

Imprints

This past week, my wife and I were fortunate enough to get away for a vacation traversing across the great State of Tennessee. It was fantastic and I had some experiences that I was prepared to share in my blog, and then I received a text from a friend on Friday. The entire bottom of the world dropped as soon as I read it.

You see, my friend Mat Davies, passed away on Friday after a valiant fight against cancer. I sat in my hotel room and wept. I know this isn’t unique or new, but when it hits you personally you are reminded of how brief this adventure we call life really is.

Mat and I “met” via Twitter six years ago. I really enjoyed his blog and his activity on social media, so I decided to reach out to connect more. Thankfully he said yes. Again, this isn’t “unique”, but it was a chance to cross geographical boundaries because Mat was from the UK and I live in the States. I soon found out that we both had a fierce love for music of all genres and we connected even more. We communicated off and on throughout the years, but never in person.

That changed in 2019 when my wife and I went to the UK for an extended vacation. There was a Tweetup at Doggett’s Coat & Badge pub on the River Thames in London where tons of HR peers gathered to meet us in person. I spotted Mat immediately and made sure that we spent time together having a chat. Even though we had just “met” it felt like we had been friends for our entire life. He also was amazing by spending time talking to Debbie while I meandered around to make sure to meet everyone. Before the night ended, we made sure to capture the moment in a picture.

Me and Mat at the Tweetup on the Thames.

It is one of my favorite memories. Seriously. If you look at the picture, you can see rays of sunlight coming over Mat’s shoulder. That’s not a coincidence. He was always someone who brought joy, passion, wit and life to every conversation and interaction you had with him. Every. Time.

I have always believed that people leave an imprint on your life every time you encounter them. Those imprints can be positive or negative. Encouraging or frustrating. Uplifting and full of life or difficult and disheartening. You get the image. You leave an imprint on people whether you intentionally try to or not.

I don’t think we realize that we are in each other’s lives for a relatively short period of time. That’s true for the vast majority of people we know outside of our spouse/partner, parents, children and immediate family. We have moments. Since that is the case, we can choose to make an imprint that matters.

Mat knew this. He was someone who was positive, encouraging and thoughtful. Whenever we chatted during his chemo treatments, he was the one encouraging me and sharing some musical tidbit that he just enjoyed. I know he had to be struggling during his battle, but you’d never know it.

I know we can’t reach every person in the world. I also know that struggles, tragedies and challenges are in every person’s life to some degree. We can’t reach everybody BUT we can reach those we are fortunate to cross paths with.

I encourage you to model Mat and be a person whose imprint is not only positive, but it’s one that is lasting and meaningful. I hope to be someone who consistently follows this model. I already miss my friend, but I am thankful that we met. I carry his imprint with me . . . always.

I must do one thing to honor my friend by closing with a bit of music. I heard this just after hearing the news and it’s perfect because it’s a mix of the legend and artistry of Bob Dylan and the more current talented group Maroon 5 singing the classic “I Shall Be Released.” It fits because now my dear friend Mat is released from this life and to the next. Peace my brother.