Posts in the Social Media Category at Everyday People

Community Builds Community

This past week something very cool happened. A young man posted a question on Linked In asking whether one should be an HR generalist or an HR specialist. It caught my attention because he was kind enough to pull a quote from my book – HR on Purpose !!

I wanted to make sure to respond. This wasn’t because he quoted my book. I try to look at the posts of my peers and do my best to acknowledge them and respond. I think we misconstrue social media as only a series of highlights, and we miss that people want to have conversations. I reached out to Shomari and offered to have a real chat on the phone or virtually. He was kind enough to agree to this when something magical occurred. Other peers who commented on his original post wanted to come together and be included in our call as well.

We set a date and a time which was a bit of a challenge because we live in three different time zones. Through the wonderful world of technology, we made it happen. Shomari had put together a list of preparatory questions he wanted to make sure to cover. Four of us were on a Zoom call and the hour we spent together was wonderful. Several opinions were shared along with much laughter. In fact, one person on the call said she loved that we laughed because she said she doesn’t do this nearly enough as she should. That warmed my heart.

The key takeaway from the four of us convening was not the content or approaches we discussed. Instead, it was something truly revealing. The three others who joined me expressed how much they valued getting together and talking to their peers. Building the foundations of a community between peers was the wonderful outcome. That too warmed my heart. Anytime I see the light come on when peers understand how much better work and life is by having a community, I’m filled with joy. Literally.

I had spent the first several years alone as an HR practitioner. I kept my head down and didn’t even think about peers who also practiced HR. I never reached out to others and others didn’t reach out to me. It didn’t make work fun by any means. Once my eyes were open to connect with others, my career took off personally and professionally. After I saw the benefits of having my own community, I was compelled to make sure that others became connected as well.

Despite my best efforts to date, I find that a significant portion of HR professionals remain isolated. I don’t understand it but I’m not defeated in the least. I’m encouraged that opportunities like the one from last week will continue to present themselves. When they do, I plan to fully jump in. What I’d love to see though, is for others to do the same.

We’re a stronger and more relevant profession when we’re intentionally connected. Many of the social media platforms which brought many of us together years ago are evolving or deteriorating which is pushing people back into the shadows. We can’t allow this to occur !! I know many others who are also community builders around the globe. They continue to do amazing work, and they’re doing all they can to make sure communities are growing and remain sustainable.

I heard the phrase – Community Builds Community – this week, and it is absolutely true.

As we head into 2024, please join in. Know that if you’re in HR then I consider you as part of my community already. Since you’re already “connected,” then take the next step to reach out to others, and let’s make more of this activity occur. It will make a difference to people personally and it will help our companies grow and thrive !! Community builds community.

BTW – Shomari is staying in touch with the three of us and figuring out how we can keep talking and networking. I’m geeked to be included and we’ll see where his efforts go.

Don’t Be a Gazelle

I grew up watching the fantastic TV show – Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. It was an amazing show because they went around the globe showing the reality of the natural world which I was oblivious to. Mind you, this was long before the personal computer or the internet were even ideas. It was a program we’d watch as a family on a weekly basis.

I remember watching in fascination the life of the African Savannah. The animals ranged from giraffes, elephants, hyenas, cheetahs, and gazelles. There was an episode showing how the cheetahs would hunt for their prey and I was glued to the screen. When the gazelles stayed in their herd, the cats couldn’t attack. There was strength in numbers. Inevitably though, there would be one gazelle innocently eating tall grass without noticing the herd had wandered off leaving them alone.

All of a sudden, the chase was on. The cheetah had been patient, and now it leaped into action. The young gazelle was quick and darted back and forth to elude the cheetah. In the end, it didn’t end well for the gazelle. The cheetah overcame its prey.

The lesson I took away from this was to make sure I was never isolated. I understand the natural interaction of hunter and hunted in the animal kingdom is a matter of survival. These types of chases are going to occur all the time.

Isolation though has become a choice lately. I’ve noticed a crack in the foundation of social media in its various forms. I remember having a conversation with my brother and sister-in-law back in 2007 about joining this new platform called Twitter. They had joined and thought it was something I’d enjoy. I was skeptical and didn’t see the point. I checked it out and decided to give it a try. I’m glad I did because it opened the world of others from my profession I didn’t know even existed.

I also chose to be more visible and active on other platforms including, Linked In, Instagram, and Facebook. Since then, platforms have come and gone. They’ve evolved or devolved as the years have passed. There have been ebbs and flows on each one that have influenced the decision for people to participate in them or not. I remember the period of “shaming” that occurred as well chastising peers for not using social media.

Through it all, I have chosen to remain active. There is one primary reason for this – the people. Please understand when I say this I’m including those who differ from me in their thoughts, content, and approaches to the medium. I also have thousands of people who share some common thread binding us together. It’s like having a global “herd” of connections.

Over the past few years, and especially this year, I’ve seen people choose to drop away from one platform or another. Some have chosen to disconnect altogether. I’m saddened by this and yet understand. No one should be forced to participate in a forum where they feel it runs contrary to their beliefs. Blind conformity is never a good reason to be involved anywhere.

At the same time, I’m concerned because I sense a growing movement of isolation is what is occurring. The robust friendships and connections I’ve built over the years are waning and are possibly going to disappear because we aren’t together on this platform or that. Social media eliminated the barriers of time zones and geography. We could connect with the punch of a Return key on our laptop or phone. The vast majority of people I’ve come to know over the years have been virtual connections. It’s very cool when we’ve had the chance to meet in person and I cherish that. The in-person connections, however, are the exception versus the rule.

I don’t have a solution or a call to action to offer. That isn’t typically how I like to write. I’m hoping that staying the course and doing my best to continue, create and foster connections will stem the tide of people dropping away. I’m not sure it will.

I do know this . . .

We are better together than if we’re isolated.

I want to see people around the world come together to learn from each other, have intentional conversations, and improve the world of work and the world in general. We were created to be together and be a community. The forum doesn’t matter to me. Staying connected does.

I hope you step in with me.

Spread the Word !! – July #HRCarnival

We seem to be in a funky pattern when it comes to Social Media. There are people who love platforms while others can’t stand them. New platforms arrive and others diminish. This fluctuation has caused a malaise that honestly isn’t warranted.

The primary function and purpose of Social Media is to communicate and share ideas !! This has been the purpose since its inception even though many have tried to either dampen it or make it argumentative.

The Carnival of HR (#HRCarnival on Twitter) has always been a fortress that has survived storm after storm over the years. I was asked if I’d host this month’s Carnival and I jumped at the chance. It’s an opportunity to rekindle the flame of great content and spread the word of HR practitioners from around the globe. When I put the call out for posts, the response was massive !! I dropped a spark on multiple platforms to show we can continue to break through the darkness and bring light to the profession and the industry.

Listed below are the twenty-four entries I received !! It’s a mix of veteran bloggers and new voices. I made sure to share which corner of the world each post came from. Make sure to check out each one and connect with the authors. Get ready, here we go . . . time to spread the word !!

Jennifer McClure from Cincinnati, Ohio takes a solid look at the ever-evolving field of leadership with 10 Critical Focus Areas for Leadership Success in the Future of Work.

Janine Ramirez from San Sebastian, Spain shares her new HR podcast – The Employee (EX) Experience.

Brent Morrell from Indianapolis, Indiana has great reflections about being an HR practitioner in his post – 5 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before I Started in HR.

Erin McCune of Performica in Santa Cruz, California shares a blog authored by Ellen Raim looking at – Fraying Ties: Erosion of the Employee Ecosystem and the Push to Return to the Office.

Kat Kibben from Raleigh Durham, North Carolina penned a great read on – Employee Resource Groups: Impact Over Everything.

Paul LaLonde hails from Chicago, Illinois and wrote this after being inspired by a Netflix documentary – The Stoicism of Arnold Schwarzenegger: What Mr. Olympia Can Teach HR.

Alex Killick from Edinburgh, Scotland grounds us with his post – Leading Kind’s Monday Motivation: Find the Kind Minds.

John Baldino from Vero Beach, Florida makes a strong argument about the value of communicating with candidates during the hiring process in his post – One Week.

Robin Schooling from Baton Rouge, Louisiana captures an essential workplace relationship in her piece – The HR and Hiring Manager Partnership.

Dorothy Dalton from Brussels, Belgium shares great insight in her post – Biases in Interview Scheduling.

Molly Weaver from Overland Park, Kansas gives us a different approach in her post – The Case for Providing Interview Questions to Candidates in Advance.

Heather Younger from Denver, Colorado shares some video coaching advice on – How to Give Constructive Feedback to Managers.

Kayla Moncayo from Austin, Texas has a compelling post with – Performer vs. People Manager.

Prasad Kurian from Pune, India offers a deep thinking post with – Simplicity @ the Other Side of Complexity.

Anthony Paradiso from Bergan County, New Jersey shares a full video webinar on a Pride Webcast.

Matt Meadows from Boca Raton, Florida goes against the grain with his blog – What People Get Wrong with Performance Reviews.

Michelle Harte from Birmingham, England gives us a Taylor Swift-inspired post – Rooting for (the Anithero).

Daphne Kakonge from Kampala, Uganda asks a timely question – Is Your Workplace Ready for Gen Z?

David Hayden from Doncaster, England shares the connection between the joy of a hobby of his and his work – Parkrun and Learning.

Ken Meyer from The Bronx, New York shares – The Importance of Explicit Communication.

John Bernatovicz from Akron, Ohio is observational astute when he shares – Things are Just Flat Out Weird Right Now.

Gary Butterfield from Leeds, England ties two important workplace facets naturally together in his post – Unlock Employee Engagement with Wellbeing Conversations.

Kyle Roed from Cedar Falls, Iowa reminded me of his fabulous podcast – Rebel HR. (You knew this had to be added !!)

Karin Hurt shares a great “how-to” post with – How to Create a More Innovative Learning Culture

Scott Leiper from Ayr, Scotland closes out the Carnival in his usual creative way with – Squiggly Shoogle.

Hope you enjoyed this month’s installation of the #HRCarnival. Remember blogs, podcasts, webinars, and platforms are still alive and thriving. It’s up to all of us to continue to spread the word !!

Ch-ch-ch-Changes !!

I wanted to take my #AdventBlogs post submission and share it this week. I love all that Gary Cookson does with the series and hope you connect with him and all of the authors in the series !! You can find them on his site – Epic HR.

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The third day of our series and the first weekend post for us, and we continue to go big with our posts. So many people have told me that they are midway through writing a post that I know the series will be fantastic, though as of the time of writing (20 November) I only have a small number of posts in. By the time you read this, I’ll have plenty more, but there is still time to send your submission in if you are inspired by our theme or what you have read so far.

Today at home is another of our Christmas trips. Tonight, we are going on a magical Christmas boat trip across an enchanted lake (strangely, one I swim in during the summer) to visit the Elves and of course Santa Claus. Really looking forward to it – the kids are so excited, and we are definitely at peak Christmas this year.

Today’s post is from Steve Browne. Yes, THE Steve Browne. You are already connected with Steve on Twitter (@sbrownehr) and LinkedIn and probably on other social media – and to be honest, who isn’t? If you’re not, you should be. Steve has an online presence beyond almost all in HR, and whilst I could share a bio of his, it wouldn’t do him justice. He’s the Chief People Officer at LaRosa’s. Steve and I have interacted lots as part of the #HRPubQuiz community and he’s another I know well. He is one of the nicest people you’ll ever want to meet.

Over to Steve:

One of the top 10 highlights of my life was traveling to the UK with my wife Debbie in 2019. We relied on the connections I had made on social media to see the country through the experiences and eyes of my friends who lived in the UK. Each person we met was so comfortable and welcoming as if we’d been friends forever even though we had just really encountered each other in person for the first time.

We have fond memories of every interaction we had because we learned about some amazing humans and their lives. One of my personal highlights came when my dear friend, Michael Carty, traveled for hours by train to have a coffee, chat and walk through Soho. Michael and I are giant music freaks and have talked about various artists and songs for years. So, as we meandered through Soho he pointed out where Sir Paul McCartney had an office, where the band Oasis took pictures for an album cover and a phone booth.

What’s so unique about a phone booth in London ?? It was the location for the album cover of David Bowie’s essential album – The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. I was gobsmacked !! (my fave learned term while in the UK.) David Bowie has always been a favourite artist of mine not only for his amazing catalogue of music but also for how he was a chameleon throughout his entire career.

*Image from – https://soundgirls.org/ch-ch-ch-changes/*

Bowie didn’t wait for change to affect him. He made change happen. He was ahead of his time so much so that he often made others around him uncomfortable. He wasn’t willing to follow the norms of artistry, rock and roll or image. He refused to be another musician who covered the songs of other artists in order to launch himself onto the scene. He was comfortable with who he was and set the standard he was going to express.

This is such a refreshing way to approach the reality of change. Too often we allow the circumstances of life to hit us first and we’re “forced” to react and respond. When change happens TO us, we resist. It’s natural and we don’t like it. When people say they enjoy change, I’m sceptical because few of us are as bold and intentional as Mr. Bowie was.

I’ve tried to be more like Bowie when it comes to changes in my life personally and professionally. I wasn’t like this when I started my career, but I certainly am now. When you choose to define the parameters of change around you, then it lights a path for others to see. They tend to embrace changes when they’re revealed to them first.

Let me give you an example.

I LOVE connecting with people and always have. I believe that each person I meet has something amazing and unique about them. This alone makes me want to learn who they are, what they believe and how they view life. It fascinates me. I have never been hesitant to reach out and see how we could get to know each other better. As a result, I’ve been able to develop relationships and friendships around the world. I know that this approach is not typical, and many people are reluctant to jump into any meaningful connection for a variety of reasons. No judgment and no expectations from my side on this. I’m well aware of how much of an outlier I am when it comes to this.

What keeps me grounded though, is that I am not a very comparative person. I want to know YOU for YOU and that’s it. I don’t look at any connection as someone to pit against another person in some illusion of ranking or placing one relationship ahead of another. This is unnerving for most because the norm is to judge, compare and decide if others are truly worth their time.

You see, every person is worth my time. Every. Single. One. That is the only facet in my life that never changes. Relationships, unfortunately, do change. People flow in and out of my life more than I wish they would. This may happen because of one misconstrued interaction, a difference in beliefs or the challenge of how we choose to use our time. Relationships take time. Invested time.

I’m bummed when people fade away from my life. It’s not a change I enjoy. I try to rekindle things hoping there are still embers willing to jump back to a burning flame. It happens in some instances, but not all the time. All things change when it comes to people in our lives.

My hope is this. I want people to know there is at least one person who’s willing to see them, listen to them, value them and learn from them on this planet – even if it’s for a brief moment or period of time. It’s my way of being Bowie. I choose to drive change when it comes to people.

So, if you see a tall, geeky person who is reaching out to get to know you, be calm. It’s my inner Ziggy willing to get to know you. It’s the ch-ch-ch-change I hope to see everyone embrace !!

I love reading Steve’s blogs, on his own site and his contributions to the #AdventBlogs series each year. He puts so much energy into his writing, and the creativity comes through each time. I like the theme he is exploring here though.

He is right to lament how relationships change. Sometimes they need to, sometimes they do without us wanting to. But they do change. He is also right though that there are some constants, even though our theme is “All things change” perhaps sometimes there are fixed points in time and space (to coin a Doctor Who phrase). Maybe Steve himself is one of those fixed points in time and space – he won’t change his belief that you are worth his time.

We see you too, Steve.

Till next time…

Gary

All You Need Is . . .

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m exhausted. It’s not physical exhaustion. It’s that I’m emotionally and mentally drained. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel that I’m alone in feeling this.

I know there are a multitude of factors that play into this, but the main one is the constant message bombardment of fear, negativity, and inflammatory stories I see from the “news” regardless of the outlet. It seems that we continue to put out information that is meant to put us on edge and evoke some overly charged response of disdain or disbelief. Add on top of this that once something is posted, shared or released, then the wave of comments starts hitting the shore. People reply in snippets of raw emotion and rarely seek, or ask for, context. It is far easier to launch a volley. And, I think people long for a returned volley so the comments can spiral into a deeper and deeper hole of disparagement.

Ironically, it’s come to the point that when people choose to post something positive, people launch on that as well. They claim that people are faking their lives and only showing good things. Pause. Reread that sentence. We’re pissed that someone has something positive to share.

I understand that the world is filled with horrific things. I’m not naive to think that these things can’t be shared or unearthed. When things get overlooked or buried, the terrible actions and/or behaviors continue. I just think that we can change the approach and method of how we communicate with each other – including the tough things.

(Random side thought – My head is already wondering if people are just sitting there waiting to counter each word of this post. That saddens me to even have that thought. Back to the post . . .)

I believe in people. I believe in those who share my views, likes and opinions just as I do with those who don’t share them. Do I struggle with people? Yes. Just as sure as I think others struggle with me. We’re human and we live in a broken world. Even in the midst of that, I believe most people are good. I really do.

Just having that posture makes people scoff and throw up skepticism. We share experiences of how someone hurt another person. I’m sure each of those experiences are valid and personal. I’ve been hurt. I’ve had people hurt others in my immediate family. I’ve experienced loss of family and dear friends throughout my lifetime.

I don’t view life as a mass of either/or situations where I’m forced to land on one side or another. I’m an if/then person and in every circumstance in my life I choose to say that “if” such and such happens, “then” I choose to respond as positively as possible – even in the most difficult of incidents. You may think that’s unrealistic, but it’s something I hold on to.

We live in a time when people don’t feel they have anyone who believes in them. It fills conversations at work, on social media platforms and in public forums. I understand that it’s not feasible to reach everyone and close this gap. However, for those I’m fortunate enough to have in my life, I can act and lift them up.

I have faith that this small action will make a difference – even for a moment. I want to see the tone of conversations change to become a rich dialogue where people are heard and valued regardless of their perspective. If they are struggling with an issue in life or society, they know they have someone who is there for them to listen – not to solve or jump to conclusions. I don’t want them to feel invisible, unheard or ignored. I want to be someone at work, in HR, online, and in-person who is willing to challenge the norm and change the narrative. I want to show that there are amazing, positive and uplifting things happening all the time around us. It’s not all awful. In fact, it’s far from it.

It’s ironic to me that we set one day aside each calendar year to “celebrate” love on Valentine’s Day. I would rather suggest that love become our norm every day. I know it’s easy to think it can’t be this simple, but you need to start somewhere. For you see, all you need is . . .

Connecting

I’m a fan of Twitter. I know that may run contrary to the majority of people out there. I’ve been active for 13 years on the platform and I still enjoy it every day. I don’t enjoy it for news, celebrity gossip or politics. I’m not naive to think that this platform, along with many others, can be used for dissension, negativity and anger. That is honestly true with any form/method of communication. Any forum can be used in a myriad of ways. I choose to be positive.

I participate because I love the people. Seriously. I see Twitter as a way to connect with people around the globe in a matter of seconds. How cool is that? For me, it’s a quick way to see the good work of others and share it to make sure that many voices are heard. I can go on and on about the attributes I find attractive, but I want to share about one in particular.

When Twitter first began, people used Fridays as a day to put the hashtag #FF (Follow Friday) out there to recommend and encourage others to connect more. You have to remember that back in 2008, people weren’t connected nearly as much as they are now. It was fun to find HR peers and get everyone to know each other. It eliminated the boundaries of geography and time zones and started to pull the profession together more intentionally.

Like most efforts, you can tire of things. What once brought energy and excitement turned into seeing many of the same faces and names over and over again. It even became negative among some people and it, unfortunately, became comparative because you’d see some people often and new people rarely. So, people stopped doing #FF or they took potshots at it. That was sad because its intent never changed. The way people viewed it did.

I didn’t get dragged down or discouraged by people no longer participating though. I saw value because I looked at it as a way to truly connect and not be a popularity contest. Now, I did stop doing it weekly because that level of repetition was ineffective. Fast forward to 2021 . . .

This past Friday, I took the time to launch an extensive set of tweets for #FF. Believe it or not, this is now a bit risky because I was put in Twitter “jail” awhile back because they thought that I pre-programmed my tweets and they didn’t understand why I listed so many names in a short burst of time. They may have thought my account was a bot or that I was spamming and phishing others because this approach isn’t the “norm” of how people connect. I reached out to Twitter, as much as they’ll allow, to explain that I was not a bot, but they just kept me in detention for a bit.

This past Friday, a friend from the UK asked how I listed all of the names and I shared the truth. I type in each person’s name. Every. Time. I always have. There’s a reason for this.

I list each person by “name” because I want those with whom I’m connected to know that they matter. It’s important that we’re connected because I consider them part of my community. I don’t see this as a who’s who list. I want people to know that I see them and value who they are and what they contribute.

We don’t take the time to remind people about this nearly enough. I do my best to have some form of a relationship with anyone who is kind enough to want to be connected to me. I don’t take it for granted. Too many people aren’t encouraged or given affirmation. It’s something I can’t see overlooked. Please note that this is true for me with my family, my friends and my co-workers.

I heard a quote recently that hit me. “Community isn’t built on convenience. Community is built on time, effort and energy.” That’s the truth. My hope in listing people is that someone connects with someone else and that leads them to build a community. How you do it is up to you. The key is that you have one based on how you truly connect. It’s also important to stay true to your capacity. If you’re someone who is good with giving your time and effort to many people, then have a large community or several communities. If you would feel more comfortable with a smaller community, then make that happen as well. There is no one way to do this.

This week, I encourage you to connect with someone. Check to make sure they aren’t alone or isolated. Let others around you know they matter. You may be the one person who connected with them at the perfect time. Remind others they matter as well. In doing this, we’ll come together in ways that are meaningful and lasting.

I Will Follow

I don’t know if you knew this, but I am a gigantic fan of the band U2 !! I am pretty sure I have their entire catalog of music including some pretty rare bootlegs. I am even fortunate to have a signed copy of their classic album The Joshua Tree hanging in my office at work. They launched as a group during my mid-teens and I couldn’t get enough of them (still can’t). I’d honestly love to meet them in person just to chat and share a pint. It’s on my bucket list. So, if anyone reading this can hook me up . . .

This weekend I was listening to U2-X Radio on Sirius XM when I was reminded of a significant anniversary the band was celebrating. Their first album, Boy, was released 40 years ago !! It’s hard to grasp that so much time has passed. It still stands as an incredible first release. The band members were just entering their 20’s and I was 16. I couldn’t believe that these guys were my peers (in age). The first single from the album was the first track – “I Will Follow.”

When it comes to following, we’re hesitant. We’re taught to lead and/or be independent at all costs. Following is perceived as weak when it comes to organizations or social media. In a time when society values self-promotion almost more than any other facet, it’s easy to see why people stand alone. Put on top of this that following is difficult because we tend to distrust others. That may sound harsh, but there seems to be some invisible gauntlet people need to pass through before they are accepted by others. Some caution may be warranted and no one should put themselves in harm’s way. However, when we assume the worst in someone before interacting with them, we’ll get what we expect.

Another factor that causes us to pause is that we tend to give our attention to those who are more visible and vocal. We tell ourselves we can’t be “like them”, so we hesitate in connecting. Countless lists that promote a select few folks doesn’t help with this comparative lens either. It’s humbling to be recognized for your contribution, but not at the expense of keeping others from participating.

When Twitter first started years ago, an activity called “Follow Friday,” which is denoted by the hashtag #FF, was very popular. It got people to connect, and since the platform was new, people regularly sent out tweets with recommendations of others to connect with. It was fun and gave the forum energy. It also opened your eyes to others in your profession that you most likely would not meet in person. It expanded your network, your reach, and your perspective.

As with most things, time erodes our interest. Those that were active when Twitter launched are less active now. Not all, but many. I was bummed about that because I’ve been active on Twitter for 12+ years now. I continue to find new folks in HR around the globe. I learn new things, hear new voices and see a desire for a profession that wants to collaborate and come together to improve the workplace for employees.

I haven’t given up on #FF and still send out a barrage of tweets every few weeks to keep the HR community connected, vibrant, and interested. The point of this effort is not so people focus on me or a select few. In fact, I type out each tweet every time and don’t program or automate them. Each of these accounts is a person, a peer, and someone I am grateful to be connected to. The recommendations include those who have different outlooks and opinions because I feel it’s important to surround yourself with diverse thoughts, cultures, and backgrounds. A dear friend of mine, Perry Timms, recently wrote about “fellowship not followership” which encourages folks to join together as a fellowship that isn’t focused on a single person or a few people. I dig this very much and am fully into seeing this happen in HR and business across the planet.

I’d encourage all of us to look at connecting. I know it’s a common theme you hear from me, but I believe in continuing to push forward. There are so many amazing people in our field !! Each time I do a #FF I get tweets back from people who are talented, passionate and eager to follow each other as well. I still get geeked to see a new professional join social media, a new podcast which elevates thought and causes us to stretch, or a new blog that gives a platform for someone to share their thoughts and ideas. I hope you connect. I hope you follow. I hope you build fellowship.

And, of course, I need to celebrate that anniversary I mentioned earlier !!

Not Sure What to Say

It’s rare that I don’t have words readily available to type and share. I have been struggling with all of the unrest happening around the country and in my city. I wanted to say something, and I’ve been apprehensive for a few reasons. First of all, I don’t want to make a statement that would be taken out of context which is easy to have done with anything that is but a snapshot of words in time. Secondly, writing about a racial issue when I’m a white man makes me anxious as well. I don’t want my words to be taken in a way that lessens or marginalizes anyone. However, I needed to say something.

I recently read that in a time of crisis, people of courage take a stand. I choose to step in on this with grace and a yearning to understand. Along with everyone else, I hear people screaming for people to pick a side and be held “accountable.” In fact, I’ve had friends cast their sentiments and shame on me for not instantly, and emotionally, respond to all that’s happening. I realize that I’m a visible person in the world of HR, and I choose to be one on purpose. With that, I don’t feel you can only comment on all that’s good, but you should also respond when things are challenging and uncomfortable.

I ache for what is happening. I truly do. I don’t pretend that I have the same background, fear and anger that many do because my life has not been made up of the same experiences. I understand that I am treated differently because I am white and not black. I don’t agree with it and I never have. To me, I am disheartened because people have lost their lives. There are families who have lost those dear to them forever when it didn’t need to happen, and we all know that in a moment a bad decision can be made that will change the course of a person’s life forever.

The country has been filled with angst, emotion and frustration for some time. All that has been happening with the pandemic, endless political rhetoric and a constant focus on all that’s “wrong” with our existence has consumed the majority of our thoughts and conversations. I’ve seen injustice occur when a spark is lit and the bucket of emotions unleashes. It’s honestly a cycle we refuse to address and break from.

And, here’s where I get stuck for words . . .

You see, I don’t dare be prescriptive or should that “this” action should happen or “that” person should be addressed. That’s only because there are far too many of us who need to act and speak up. It’s not only the people involved in the loss of life.

I’ve seen many contacts and friends who are beside themselves and have very publicly shouted that they’re getting off social media because they just can’t handle it anymore. I’m concerned when people step away only because it can lead to a trap of isolation, intimidation and indifference. I would hope there’s a chance and a window to engage, understand and have dialogue even when emotions are running high.

This past weekend, I was in Indianapolis with my wife visiting our daughter. As we were walking through the neighborhoods around Mass Ave., I saw this piece of art which captured what I can do during this time. It’s a crossing sign that has two alternative messages on it versus the traditional Walk/Don’t Walk. It shows “Don’t Care/Care” and the button below says, “Push button to change.” As we came up on the sign, it was on the blue light saying, “Don’t Care,” and we pushed the button to make the sign express “Care.”

Now, I know this is an analogy and just a visual cue. However, I believe that in all this unrest what I can do more than ever is care. I choose to do that by reaching out to friends who I know are angry and fearful. I’ve had conversations already and plan to reach out to others to check in. I’ve asked for context and not “why” when we’ve talked. I want them to know that I’m here for them no matter what.

That may seem minor and not doing “enough” in the eyes of many. What you need to understand though is that I have lived my life with the belief and behavior of meeting you WHERE you are and for WHO you are in every aspect of your life. While the world keeps ripping itself apart over ignorant words, self-aggrandizing tweets, and a cult of personality, I choose to engage people as humans, and I will continue to do so.

I value our differences and see them as strengths and attributes that make you a wonderful person worth engaging and knowing. I refuse to be someone who is called upon to only know others if I have to compartmentalize, label, judge, marginalize or generalize them.

I care about people and I ache that once again race has become something that divides us. I want to see that change and I am going to do that one person at a time. It’s been said for centuries that “actions speak louder than words.” I hope you are reflecting on how you can genuinely express care for people for who they are and where they are in life. To me this is basic and foundational.

In getting ready to write this, I did find some words that captured my heart well from of all places – Nike. Take a look and let’s do all we can to bring people together and move forward.

Who You Are to Me

Recently, I’ve noticed an unfortunate malaise when it comes to being active on social media. It seems that you can’t post anything without someone making a comment to the contrary. It doesn’t matter what the subject matter is or the opinion that was shared. If you shared that you were, “having a great day with your family and enjoying the beautiful weather and the blue skies”, inevitabily someone would say something like, “well it’s raining here.”

What has happened? Why has it become so prevalent to make sure that no comment is supported, but we make sure it is criticized? I know some dear friends who even say things like, “Well, life just can’t be that good. Look at how their picture is perfect . . .”

I understand that we are going through a difficult time globally. This is a first for many because now this situation affects us personally. We tend to forget, or not know, that challenges exist everywhere and every day. They may be visible and get news coverage if they’re horrific enough because that is what we seem to thrive on. However, many people are facing challenges which are not visible to others. You may never know the extent of what they’re going through.

Now, as a realistic optimist myself, I don’t find myself stuck in dark places often. It happens, but I try my best to focus on those areas of my life where I have the most interaction including my faith, my family and my friends. I even make sure that this is how I view my interactions on social media. I would much rather see the light of recognition and acknowledgement be on others and their good work.

Recently, a dear friend of mine, broke through the veil of negativity which seems to try and continue to divide us with a simple postcard. The message on the front instantly captured my attention. It said – “Who You Are to Me.” I had no idea who it was from or why I had received it. I hastily flipped it over eager to read if there was another message. It was a simple message just as the one on the front. At the top I read, “5 words I’d use to describe you” and there were five numbers with lines next to each number. Then, my friend, wrote five descriptive words to fill the card. She then signed it, “Laurie.”

The words she used were personal, heartfelt and meaningful. I’m sharing them just so you get the feel of how touching this act was. The words were: “Trailblazer, Leader, Community builder, Compassionate communicator and Friend.”

I read the card over and over. I was floored that this is how she viewed me. We have been friends with her for several years. kI always enjoy when we chat or see each other. Honestly, this piece of mail was such a perfect ray of light and a reminder that personalized encouragement leaves a long-term and significant mark.

I would love to see everyone, especially those in HR, practice this in person and on social media. Think how much more positive your daily activities would be knowing who you are to somebody else !! We have no problem expressing feelings which divide us. Let’s turn that around and let those who are in our lives know how much they matter. Laurie did this with a 50 cent stamp and five words.

This week pick three people who positively make a difference in your life, and the lives of others, and tell them how much they mean to you. Use a method like this one and share five descriptive words to let them know how you feel. Make it personal. Do it because you want to and not because it’s a task.

I will be doing this going forward and on purpose. I want to take the opportunity to shed light on others and break through the darkness. I want to see everyone lifted up as we move forward. It costs you nothing to share what’s on your heart, but it may be the one piece of encouragement that someone needed at just the right time !!

Hands Across the Water !!

I’m not sure if you noticed, but I took a few weeks off from blogging. That’s because my wife and I went to England for a two week vacation to have an early celebration of our 30th wedding anniversary !! (Before I go any further, you need to know that my wife, Debbie, means the world to me.) Every aspect of our trip was fantastic. Every. One. One factor that made this possible was that I left my laptop back home and disconnected from work, social media and from constantly staring at one screen or another. I’ll be honest, I didn’t miss it that much.

Having more time to focus on everything going on around us allowed us to be sponges. We enjoyed long walks around West Hampstead where we were renting a flat. We also visited various towns and historical sites from Bath to Cambridge to Notting Hill to York and all over London. I could write for weeks and weeks if I tried to share all of our adventures.

One of the many bucket list items I experienced was visiting the Abbey Road Studios where The Beatles recorded their music. Paul McCartney recorded a song after The Beatles had broken up with his new band The Wings called Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey. It’s a very Beatlesque tune which I really enjoy. In the chorus, there is a phrase “Hands across the water (water), Hands across the sky (sky).” The reason I share this lyric is that the BEST thing that happened during our trip was meeting fellow HR peers. Not kidding. It was the biggest highlight.

For those that know me, I love meeting people !! The environment doesn’t really matter. Throughout our trip, I met people on the Tube, at restaurants and pubs as well as at the various historical sites we visited. People intrigue me. Getting to interact and know them gives me a perspective that is more real than any tour you could purchase. Debbie and I were fortunate when two HR friends who I had only “known” from Twitter met us and started our vacation by taking us all over. We connected immediately and we started developing our friendships in person.

This culminated later our first week when we had a Tweetup. A Tweetup is an excuse to get together with your peers, have a drink or a bite to eat and network. We met at Doggett’s Coat and Badge Pub on the banks of the Thames overlooking St. Paul’s Cathedral. The view was spectacular and the weather was perfect. That alone would have been enough, but then folks started arriving. In the end, there were 40 people who came. It was astonishing and humbling because many of the people traveled an incredible way to be there. Some took trains from hours away just to meet.

We had hours of fun meeting each other for the first time, learning about each other’s lives and laughing. Tons and tons of laughing !! We didn’t feel like strangers in the least. After some time, we wanted to make sure to capture the moment, so we asked our server to take a picture. I will cherish this forever !!

Several people were “amazed” that when we met in person that we were the “same” people as we are online. I never suspected that we would be any different. It was instantly comfortable to hang out with every person. We found that we had tons in common and it was if we had known each other for years. On the following Saturday another friend traveled 3 1/2 hours by train to come meet, and we met more HR friends when we traveled to York. I hope that all of the people we met remain lifelong friends. I know that will take work and effort, but it will be more than worth it.

The experience Debbie and I had is something that should be the norm and not the exception. I feel that whenever you get the chance to meet and connect with HR friends in person, you should take advantage of that. We are a global community, and we’re better the more we step out and connect.

We all have to be willing to stretch our hands across the water !!