Posts in the Random Thoughts Category at Everyday People, Page 5

Be Full !!

As I type this post, I have to admit I’m spent. It’s a good feeling to be honest, but it’s also exhausting. I brought this upon myself. You see, I had the opportunity to spend the entire day out in the sun working in my yard. It was the first time since Winter and I loved it !!

I don’t know how you’ve been feeling lately, but feeling completely wiped out clears one’s head. Do you notice what most people say when you ask them how things are? The vast majority of them say, “I’m busy.” There’s never really a definition of what that means other than they apparently have a ton of things on their mind or taking up the majority of their focus.

Now, I know it’s just a word, but when I hear that people are “busy,” I hear a negative tone behind it. It seems that when you’re busy you have things that “have” to get done even though you may not enjoy doing them. Being busy also implies that you are overwhelmed and feel that others don’t share your sentiment. It’s the feeling that no one could be as busy as you are !! Having this approach is a bit daunting. The reason for it being daunting is that EVERYONE is busy !!

A few years ago, I changed my answer when people asked me how I was. If you ask me, my answer is – “I’m full !!” It’s true. I am. I take the chance to fill my life up every single day with things that are positive, challenging and interesting.

Don’t get me wrong, there are things that fill up my life that I’d like to change. I get upset too often and frustrated more than I should. I watch too much TV and don’t eat as well as I should. Those are facts that I can work on. They could be things that pull you down, but they don’t have to be.

To be honest, I think I could even add a few more things in to make my life even more full. You aren’t any different. Your life is full too !! The question you have to ask yourself is – Do you like what your life is filled with ??

The same is true for HR. Most HR folks I know always share how busy they are. When I hear this I can sense frustration and angst that surrounds their view of what they do. The thing that people don’t see is that if you keep the “busy” mentality, you’ll never enjoy HR because you’ll always be chasing after the things you don’t enjoy doing.

It’s time for you to become full instead !! Take the time to review what you’re doing and strip away those things that pull you down. I understand that all work has it’s purpose. How you approach it is key !! Get full and see how your day goes instead.

The next time someone asks you how you are . . . tell them you’re full !!

As You Wish.

Tomorrow I am celebrating a true milestone in my life, and the life of another. My amazing wife Debbie and I will have been married 25 years !! It’s incredible to think that we have literally been married for half of our lives (so far).

So, if you will allow me, I’d like to step away from penning an HR post to share our story . . .

I moved to Cincinnati back in 1986 after graduating from Ohio University. I only knew a small handful of people in town and had no social circle. One day at work a flyer came across my desk for Young Friends of the Zoo. This was a group of young adults from all over Greater Cincinnati that met to volunteer at the world famous Cincinnati Zoo. It sounded interesting so I gave it a try.

At the first meeting I attended, the leaders of the meeting were looking for a Chair for the Beastly Ball – the group’s largest fundraiser. I have never been one to shy away from things, so I volunteered to chair the event. The group was a bit shocked I stepped up without being “known,” but they gave me a shot. The Ball was a huge costume party and we transformed an empty warehouse into an Egyptian tomb.

Every meeting I stood up and introduced myself, “Hi, I’m Steve Browne, chair of the Beastly Ball. I need your help to make this happen and I’ll be around to see all of you during the meeting.” The extrovert in me was glowing, and my future wife would make sure to leave the meeting or shuffle around so as to not meet me on purpose. She thought that I was too over the top and brash to want to intentionally meet everyone.

We had several work nights to make the decorations for the Egyptian tomb, and Debbie was there every time. One night she came over to me (after having avoided me for months mind you) and she asked what I was doing that weekend. I said, “Nothing.” (because I’ve always been good with words). And she responded with the best line of all time – “Want to do nothing together?” I was floored and said, “YES !!” immediately.

Our first date was a movie, The Princess Bride. We had no idea that we were seeing a movie about true love and saw this merely as a first date. In this classic film, the main character Wesley, always responds to Princess Buttercup with “as you wish” regardless of what she asks. We loved every moment of the movie and felt connected from that point on.

Fast forward about one year and Debbie and I were going to the monthly Young Friends of the Zoo meeting yet again. I asked her to come a little early and meet at the King Cheetah area. It was there that I proposed to her because the King Cheetah is one of the few animals who mate for life. It just felt right to do. She fortunately said, “Yes” and here we are 25 years later.

Debbie is the perfect balance for me. She is the organized, introverted, brilliant, loving and sensible side that I lack. I am thankful for every moment that I’ve had with her. She is an amazing wife, mother and partner who stepped out of her comfort zone to connect with me.

We come across people every day who can impact our lives. They may be reaching out to see how they can connect. Are you paying attention to this? You never know, you may find someone who will be with you for the rest of your life !!

So, now, I look forward to what will truly be a new adventure as we move towards our next milestone. We are more of the exception in today’s society by being married for 25 years and I dig that. We have found true love just like the movie and, I get to be Wesley, now and forever, who will look to Debbie to respond “as you wish” !!

A Little Piece of My Heart !!

This week has been one of transition. My mother-in-law passed away at the age of 77 after a battle with Parkinson’s disease and dementia. Also, a dear friend of mine, who I sang alongside in our church choir, passed away gracefully at the age of 89. I doubt that few who read this blog know these two great people who impacted my life in tangible, meaningful ways. I am thankful that I can celebrate their lives and what they meant to me.

These two people also had an impact on my amazing wife, Debbie. I don’t mention her much on social forums because she’d prefer to be in the background. You see, she is a perfect reflection of the quote from Jerry Maguire – she completes me. She and I are almost complete polar opposites and everything I do poorly, she does well. I don’t know how my life would look without her. I don’t think it would be nearly as positive and great as it is because she so gracefully and effortlessly fills the voids and blind spots I have.

The majority of the people who touch our lives are more like my wife, my mother-in law and my friend from church. They are meaningful to us individually and the sphere of who they’re connected to varies greatly. Even though I may be personally connected to them, I may not be connected to the other amazing people who they know and interact with.

I want to take the time this week to share something that you may not know. Just like these three wonderful people – you have a piece of my heart !!

Too often, we downplay the impact EVERY single person in our lives has. We keep thinking that people only make an impact if they have visibility, notoriety or celebrity. Sadly, many people keep chasing those shallow attributes of our society thinking it will give more substance and meaning to their lives.

You need to know that YOU matter – at least to me. I don’t take any interaction I have with any person lightly. It may be the one and only time we ever cross paths. That matters. I may not personally see how this affects either your life or mine. But, I know that because you came across my path and in my life – you impacted me and made a difference.

I don’t view life in the manner that most people do. To me, the “humans” are key because my life is not defined by my profession. It’s just what I happen to do.

The losses I experienced this week reminded me that I don’t take enough time to let people who are in my life know how much I value them. I guess I assume they know, but that is a missed opportunity. This is something so critical to all of us as people to communicate how people touch our lives.

Make sure to notice everyone you come across this week !! Don’t ignore, brush off or move past some ONE to some THING you think is more important.

I don’t take our connection lightly. The fact that you would take the time to read this blog as well as connect in person and/or socially drives me and fuels my passion for people more than you know !!

I’m glad you are a piece of my heart !! I know that I am better because of it !!

Image Courtesy of Deviantart.com

Those Who Serve !!

Today is Memorial Day and I was fortunate enough to spend it with my parents and my brother’s family. As we all get older, it’s harder and harder to get all of the kids (now young adults) together with everyone. We were able to grill out, share stories, see how fortunate we are to have such great kids. I cherish my family and this day, more than most, makes this even more true.

You see, one person wasn’t able to be at our gathering, my biological father. My dad, John Browne, was a veteran of the US Army. He served during the Vietnam War and went on four tours during his service. The Army was really the only choice at the time for my dad. He was an average high school student and the Army was a way to have a career and develop skills to use later in life. He entered as a private and rose to the rank of Staff Sergeant. He ended up being a highly decorated person for his bravery, valor and leadership of his troops during the war.

If you notice, I keep noting these things in the past tense. My dad passed away in 1968 after losing a battle to Hodgkin’s Disease cancer at the age of 26. It’s amazing to me that he survived the difficulty of battle only to lose to a disease.

I’ve heard that my dad was caring, gregarious and had a deep laugh that came out easily and often. He was a dedicated friend and loving husband and father. I was only four years old when dad died. I have a handful of memories of him, but wish I had more time to have been with him. From what I’ve been told, he and I are very similar !! We look the same, have the same voice and I guess I even walk like him. When I laugh (which is often), my family has said, “That’s just like John.” I’m sure he loved life and lived it to the fullest !!

One other thing that gives me pride . . .

My dad volunteered to be in the Army. Just when the draft was going to come into full force and be a dividing factor in our country’s history, my dad chose to serve. He knew that he could be called to be in harm’s way, and he signed up anyway.

Today, there are thousands of men and women who are just like my dad. They weren’t drafted into service. They chose to serve, and they continue to do so in both times and circumstances of war as well as humanitarian efforts around the world. We are so comfortable in our day-to-day lives that we take for granted these folks who protect our freedom. That’s a shame and something none of us should take for granted.

Without these thousands of people willing to step in and serve, I wouldn’t be having a picnic with my family this Memorial Day. So, I wanted to say “Thank You” to all the people of the Armed Services – not just on this day, but every day. When you see someone in uniform, thank them in person. They deserve this and so much more !!

I hope you join me in being thankful for those who serve !!

Time for the 2nd Half !!

This week I get to celebrate a true milestone . . . I turn 50 years old on Friday, 1/3/14 !!

Now, I know that turning 50 is not that big of an accomplishment for most people. However, in the Browne genealogy line, I’m a senior citizen. My father passed away when he was 26 and my uncle passed away when he was in his late 30’s. My other uncle made it into his 60’s. But this isn’t a sad post – just some back story.

Most people look at 50 as something nearing more of an end of things they used to do with ease, or as being over the hill. If you have been reading this blog, you know that I tend to look at things a bit differently. You see, I’m looking forward to the second half of my life !!

Now, I’m not naive or arrogant in thinking that fifty more years are any sort of guarantee. But, why look at things as “less than” when you don’t even know what is lying ahead of you? I could never have foreseen what amazing things have happened during my first half century !! (An example of this is that I’m writing a blog that others actually read from a laptop computer that is wirelessly connected to the internet as I sit typing in my living room.)

I honestly can’t wait to see what’s next !! I don’t have to know the details, or have any absolute assurances in the least. In fact, not knowing makes it a bit more exciting because I’ll get to experience whatever’s next as it happens.

As we enter another year, I find myself even more encouraged and passionate about life than I have been in the past !! I’m sure there are literally thousands of people who I will get to meet, know and share situations with in the second half. I’ve already been fortunate enough to experience this, and value it more than you know.

How about you? Are you looking forward to what’s coming? Or, do you have doubts, concerns and fears? I know there will be obstacles, challenges, failures and other big unknowns that will come my way in the years to come. But, that doesn’t concern me. It intrigues me !!

I hope that as a New Year unfolds for each of us, that you choose to be wildly passionate, fiercely intentional and abundantly optimistic !! It’s really a fascinating way to live each day, and I think it’s how we’ve been naturally wired if we allow it to happen.

Now I need to get ready. The second half is about to start !!

It Was 20 Years Ago Today !!

I’m very excited about Christmas coming this week !! It is always an amazing time for faith, family, friends . . . and gifts. This isn’t a post about the materialism of the season. It’s about true gifts !!

You see, 20 years ago on Christmas day, my daughter was born. I wrote about the miracle of her birth a few years ago. It’s hard to believe that two full decades have passed. Now, as a young woman, she continues to grow, flourish and amaze me. She truly has been a gift to me and our family.

I consider myself very fortunate to be a father and enjoy every moment that I have with my daughter and son. At the holidays, I think it’s important to reflect and be thankful for the important things in our lives. My children DEFINITELY fall into this category. I know that not all parent/child relationships are healthy, and that is unfortunate. I wish that both parents and children would see the value in having each other in their lives !!

You see, to me the best gift a person can give to others at Christmas, or any other time, is themselves. That may sound idealistic in today’s cynical world, but I believe it to be true.

People are gifts !! The opportunity we have is to look at each other that way, and also treat each other that way. At Christmastime, we anticipate gifts and can’t wait to see what is hidden beneath the thin, colorful wrapping. There is a tangible rush just to get beyond the wrapping to see what’s really inside. I think that people are the same. Just below the surface of safe introductions, small talk and demographic information, lies an untapped gift waiting to be taken in and enjoyed !!

I know that viewing people in this way may put you in the minority, but what a great group to be in. It’s challenging and others will want you to walk away from this perspective, but don’t cave in. Why not make this the norm versus the exception?

Here’s how you can get started . . .

During this holiday season, write someone in your life a note, a card, or even give them a call. Let them know how much they mean in your life. It may seem to come out of the blue, but it matters. Be intentional about this and let folks know that they are the best gifts in your life !!

My life is only better because my daughter came into it twenty years ago on Christmas Day. And, for the many friends and family members who read this blog, you are gifts to me as well. The people in my life enhance it and that is something I treasure !!

I wish you all the best Christmas and holiday season you’ve ever had !! May you be surrounded by “gifts” of those that love and cherish you for being in their lives, and may you be a gift to others !!

Thanks Mom !!

Yesterday we had the chance to thank all of those fortunate to be mothers. It is incredible to see the outpouring for moms, and every bit of it is perfect !! I hope you took time to thank the moms in your life yesterday because they deserve your thanks EVERY day !!

Honestly, this is a huge work issue as well. Please note one thing here . . . I think ALL moms work !! The mothers who are able to be at-home-moms work hard every day with their families, communities and kids. Don’t ever think that this isn’t valuable. It’s an incredible gift that they give with immeasurable value.

For those great moms who also have a job outside of the home, I think we need to give you more validity and attention. It’s an amazing testament to you as a professional to be able to do all that you do in the workplace !! You see, I have a marvelous example to draw from – my mom.

My father passed away when I was 4 and my brother was 2 back in 1968. So, my mom became a “single” mom as a widow during a time when that was much more of an exception than today. We have an amazing extended family who pitched in to watch my brother and I during the day so she could work an entry level administrative position as well as take college courses to become a teacher. She earned her degree from Bowling Green State University and began teaching in the vocational school system. She taught future administrative assistants who were predominantly women. So, she modeled her success to those who would go on to have careers of their own.

Now, I know everyone says their mom is the best. I’d have to chime in with that as well but with a twist. My mom has influenced and encouraged hundreds and hundreds of young women to pursue a skill and impact workplaces. She has seen them grow into incredible adults, been to their weddings, held their children and seen many of her student’s children graduate.

Before she retired after 30+ years of teaching, she received her Master’s Degree, remarried a phenomenal man, and started her career as world’s best grandmother. She continues to put forth a witness of grace, joy and encouragement to all that she encounters.

So, today, I’d like to say THANK YOU !! Thanks to my mom and to all the moms who are out there in homes and in the workplace. You make the world a better place because of who you are and all you do !!

Hot Chocolate Made With Milk !!

A few weekends ago an amazing person passed away !! She influenced more people than she ever knew and she never would have taken credit for any of it. Did you see her passing in the press/social media? No, I’m sure you didn’t.

You see, it was my Aunt Elaine.

After 81 phenomenal years, Aunt Elaine moved onto the next stage of life where I’m sure she was welcomed with open arms !! I was at the SHRM Leadership Conference when her funeral services were held and I was disappointed to not be there for my extended family and the myriad of people who came to show their respects and shine as an example of who she touched.

You see, my brother and I were incredibly blessed when we were very young. Our Dad, a Vietnam Vet, passed away in 1968 after losing a battle with Hodgkin’s Disease cancer. We were 4 and 2 at the time. Living in the mighty metropolis of Luckey, Ohio (yes, it is a town) would have been difficult for my Mom to raise two young boys except for our incredibly tight knit family. Most days we were with my Grandma and Grandpa as Mom went to work. However, we were often at Aunt Elaine’s , a mere mile and a half away as well.

I fondly remember spending the night and waking up before dawn with my cousins to go out and work in the barn doing chores to care for the farm animals. It was hard work for a young boy, but every aspect of it was spectacular !! The warmth, the smell, the sounds – all of it permeated every inch of you and made you feel connected to the life of being a farmer.

After chores, we would all bounce back into my Aunt and Uncle’s simple farm home to a table overflowing with food !! Farm fresh eggs which we had just gathered, bacon from the farm, toast from homemade bread and of course – hot chocolate made with milk !! The chance to have breakfast, or any meal, at my Aunt’s house was an incredible treat. We thought this was “normal” for when we were at the farm and revelled in it !!

Why does this all matter ??

You see, we all leave a legacy in our lives whether we choose to or not. My Aunt Elaine touched countless numbers of people with her laughter, her charity, her positive glow and outlook on life and her love for family.

In HR we work around people every day and we have the chance to be a positive imprint on their lives. We often think that by focusing on the “business” of what we do is more important than caring for others as people. Just remember – that leaves an imprint as well !!

So, this week, what can you do to be that simple mug of hot chocolate? Be intentional and value all of those whose lives you touch !! It will matter eternally !!

Buffaloes, Planes and Wiffle Ball !!

This past week I was completely unplugged as I was at Summer Camp at the Pioneer Scout Reservation with the Boy Scouts. To say it was spectacular would not capture the experience enough !! I know that the idea of camping for a week in 100+ degree weather for a few days followed by 14 straight hours of monsoonlike rain isn’t for everyone, but I wouldn’t trade it in for the world !!

There were so many memories forged, but let me highlight just a few . . .

I slept through a heat lightning thunderstorm in an open field approximately 100 yards from a herd of buffalo at the Wild Winds Buffalo Preserve.
My son flew an airplane including lift off . . . and he’s 14 !!
Our Troop built a wiffle ball field inside our campsite. They made the bases from log pieces cut by them with a two-man saw.
The kids challenged the camp staff to a wiffle ball game on our field and beat them 16 – 6. I was deemed a “traitor” because I put on a staff shirt and hat and played for their team !!

The list could go on and on. The amazing thing is that even when I’m away from the “normal” world of work – HR still happens. Our leaders and scouts went out of our way to bond with the Staff and encourage them in all the great work that they do. Everyday staff members were in our site to socialize, play Euchre (an essential of scouting life !!) and even ask for advice. They are talented young men and women who choose to take their summers to help boys advance in their scouting career.

The best lesson I learned from camp this year was that, because I was disconnected from the outside/electronic/social media world, I could focus. I could focus on what mattered the most . . . the people around me.

Whether it was calming a young kid down from a serious bought of home sickness, or seeing my son become a young man and lead others, you didn’t have the chance to focus on anything else. You could take in every challenge, obstacle and opportunity and encourage, coach and guide people to be successful in what they were pursuing.

We hosted the leaders from the summer camp’s other Troops at our site and I taught them how to share one great thing about their kids and they stayed at our site for 2 1/2 hours sharing amazing things !!

This break from the wild pace of life reminded me that I want to continue to be an HR professional who focused on people first. You know that when we focused on the boys they completed their work, laughed for hours and hours, and worked together to do things that they’d never try on their own.

I think we make HR too hard. I am taking the lessons from this past week and implementing them even more. So, each night I’m going outside to gaze into the night sky and breathe deep to keep me grounded. Of course I’ll be wearing tie-dye, and you can see that this legacy will continue with at least a handful of young men for years to come.

I call him “Dad” !!

Other than being married, the greatest joy I have in life is the gift of being a father !! You’ve seen me write about both of my kids, Melanie (18 and soon heading off to college) and Josh (14 and planning to take over the world). I’ve even written about my biological father who was a decorated veteran of the Vietnam War. Today, however, I’m writing about my dad.

You see, I hail from the Center of the Universe which is also known as the Village of Ada, Ohio. This is where my brother and I grew up during our formative Jr. High and Sr. High years and where my parents still reside. This story starts about one year before we moved to this incredible mecca !!

My mother is in the 1st wing of the “Mothers Hall of Fame” !! That is not an exaggeration. ANYONE who has met my mom would say this within minutes of meeting her. Since I was the “man of the house” since the age of four, I was very protective of my mom and didn’t quite get why she had to meet someone else. Thankfully, I wasn’t really in charge and the good Lord brought Don into my mom’s life. He seemed cool enough, but I didn’t want him getting “too close” to my mom.

One night after they had been “courting” (that’s what they called it – not me), he came to the room where my brother and I stayed and we had the following conversation:

Don – “Boys, I wanted to talk to you and ask you something.”

Steve – “Sure. What do you want to tell us?” (I didn’t allow my younger brother to speak because I was – and still am – the firstborn)

Don – “Well, your mom and I have decided to get married.”

(My brother and I were stunned and shocked. How could she do this? We didn’t need him !! He went on . . .)

Don – “Well, boys, I just wanted to ask. When we’re married, do you want to call me ‘Dad’ or ‘Don’ ??”

(Get ready for it. Here comes the most calloused response in the history of families !!)

Steve – “We’ll call you ‘Don’ because you will NEVER be our father !!”

(Did I mention that I was an idiot 13 year old punk?)

Don – “That’s fine boys. Good night.”

He didn’t put up a fight and was incredibly gracious (as he always has been.) Later that summer in 1976 during the glitz of the Bicentennial, my brother and I stood in polyester suited glory at my mom and Don’s wedding. We moved to Ada and the rest is history – well, sort of . . .

Don raised my brother Mark and I as if we were his own sons. He was always fair, structured and showed us amazing things. He taught us about work ethic, manners, treating women with respect and most of all . . . love mixed with incredible humor !!

The day of my high school graduation, he grabbed me and hugged me and told me he loved me. He followed that with, “So, when are you moving out?” Through laughter and tears I embraced him and said, “I love you Dad !!”

He always had been my “Dad” and now I realized it. He has been nothing but amazing my whole life with him. He showed me, and continues to show me, the mantra I live by:

Model the behavior you expect in others.

He’s now a grandfather five times over and he comes to most of the grandkids events. He never missed one event my brother and I were involved in – EVER !!

This week he made sure to let me know that he was retiring at the young age of 70. I adore my father !! If I can be half the man he has been for me, then I know that I will have left a grand legacy.

Happy Father’s Day to anyone fortunate enough to be a Father. Never take it lightly for you are leaving a legacy to each and everyone you touch !!