Category: Leadership

The #HRCarnival – Shedding Light !!

I’ve been a big fan of the Carnival of HR for years. For those of you who are unfamiliar, each month people submit blog posts to share their thoughts and content for all to enjoy. Sometimes there are themes and other months are purely a curation of great HR blogs/articles.

As the host this month, I wanted to have a theme. When you look around the world, it can seem challenging, bleak, and unyielding. It feels like a cover of darkness is always trying to envelop all areas of life and work. I, however, have been someone who believes that people can shed light to make the darkness disperse. So, I asked people to chime in and contribute their perspectives on how they chose to do this. Enjoy the following submissions and make sure to reach out and connect with each of the authors.

Jared Narlock encourages us to recognize that we can make time for Courage, Grace and Kindness.

Jonathan Segal shows how a great distraction can give us much-needed balance. White Lotus: What’s Work Got to do with It?

Michelle Harte channels her inner Ed Sheeran and the power of supporting each other in Celestial (You Make Me Feel).

Nicole Roberts nudges us all to give back to others in the HR and Business space by Giving A Hand Up.

James Dean encourages people to make sure you’re choosing to watch and consume positive content with Shining a Light On . . . Social Media.

Jessica Beck shares a wonderful story about her Grandfather and the power of A Cool Drink on a Hot Day.

Mary Kaylor shares the good work of Jordan Quigley who she works with at Robert Half on the Search for Empathetic Leaders.

Meghan Brown has a truly uplifting post that shows us how we can Shine Bright This Holiday and Always.

Christie Engler talks about how much she enjoys gifts and wonders what gift(s) HR can give others in 2023 in Presents Are My Favorite.

Andrew Bull helps with the combination of reality and expectations of Team Performance.

John Baldino channels Sir Paul McCartney about the power of Coming Up – Joy at Work, Home and Within Self.

Jamie Bearse gives us a broader perspective by reminding us that HR Alone Can’t Create a Great Culture.

Steve Williamson asks us to consider we may have more impact than we think in Is Inspiration Your Secret Power?

Angie Redmon has put together a great set of approaches for HR leaders with End of Year Tips and Ideas.

Scott Leiper brings a ton of energy, creativity and a dash of Warren Zevon with Enjoy Every Sandwich.

Baskaran Ambavalan wraps up this Carnival with a fantastic list of suggestions for HR Priorities for Success in 2023.

**************************************

Thanks to everyone who participated in this final HR Carnival of 2022 !! Great work and great people.

I hope everyone in HR and the global HR Community chooses to be people who shed light next year every. single. day !!

Ch-ch-ch-Changes !!

I wanted to take my #AdventBlogs post submission and share it this week. I love all that Gary Cookson does with the series and hope you connect with him and all of the authors in the series !! You can find them on his site – Epic HR.

_____________________________________

The third day of our series and the first weekend post for us, and we continue to go big with our posts. So many people have told me that they are midway through writing a post that I know the series will be fantastic, though as of the time of writing (20 November) I only have a small number of posts in. By the time you read this, I’ll have plenty more, but there is still time to send your submission in if you are inspired by our theme or what you have read so far.

Today at home is another of our Christmas trips. Tonight, we are going on a magical Christmas boat trip across an enchanted lake (strangely, one I swim in during the summer) to visit the Elves and of course Santa Claus. Really looking forward to it – the kids are so excited, and we are definitely at peak Christmas this year.

Today’s post is from Steve Browne. Yes, THE Steve Browne. You are already connected with Steve on Twitter (@sbrownehr) and LinkedIn and probably on other social media – and to be honest, who isn’t? If you’re not, you should be. Steve has an online presence beyond almost all in HR, and whilst I could share a bio of his, it wouldn’t do him justice. He’s the Chief People Officer at LaRosa’s. Steve and I have interacted lots as part of the #HRPubQuiz community and he’s another I know well. He is one of the nicest people you’ll ever want to meet.

Over to Steve:

One of the top 10 highlights of my life was traveling to the UK with my wife Debbie in 2019. We relied on the connections I had made on social media to see the country through the experiences and eyes of my friends who lived in the UK. Each person we met was so comfortable and welcoming as if we’d been friends forever even though we had just really encountered each other in person for the first time.

We have fond memories of every interaction we had because we learned about some amazing humans and their lives. One of my personal highlights came when my dear friend, Michael Carty, traveled for hours by train to have a coffee, chat and walk through Soho. Michael and I are giant music freaks and have talked about various artists and songs for years. So, as we meandered through Soho he pointed out where Sir Paul McCartney had an office, where the band Oasis took pictures for an album cover and a phone booth.

What’s so unique about a phone booth in London ?? It was the location for the album cover of David Bowie’s essential album – The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. I was gobsmacked !! (my fave learned term while in the UK.) David Bowie has always been a favourite artist of mine not only for his amazing catalogue of music but also for how he was a chameleon throughout his entire career.

Image from – https://soundgirls.org/ch-ch-ch-changes/

Bowie didn’t wait for change to affect him. He made change happen. He was ahead of his time so much so that he often made others around him uncomfortable. He wasn’t willing to follow the norms of artistry, rock and roll or image. He refused to be another musician who covered the songs of other artists in order to launch himself onto the scene. He was comfortable with who he was and set the standard he was going to express.

This is such a refreshing way to approach the reality of change. Too often we allow the circumstances of life to hit us first and we’re “forced” to react and respond. When change happens TO us, we resist. It’s natural and we don’t like it. When people say they enjoy change, I’m sceptical because few of us are as bold and intentional as Mr. Bowie was.

I’ve tried to be more like Bowie when it comes to changes in my life personally and professionally. I wasn’t like this when I started my career, but I certainly am now. When you choose to define the parameters of change around you, then it lights a path for others to see. They tend to embrace changes when they’re revealed to them first.

Let me give you an example.

I LOVE connecting with people and always have. I believe that each person I meet has something amazing and unique about them. This alone makes me want to learn who they are, what they believe and how they view life. It fascinates me. I have never been hesitant to reach out and see how we could get to know each other better. As a result, I’ve been able to develop relationships and friendships around the world. I know that this approach is not typical, and many people are reluctant to jump into any meaningful connection for a variety of reasons. No judgment and no expectations from my side on this. I’m well aware of how much of an outlier I am when it comes to this.

What keeps me grounded though, is that I am not a very comparative person. I want to know YOU for YOU and that’s it. I don’t look at any connection as someone to pit against another person in some illusion of ranking or placing one relationship ahead of another. This is unnerving for most because the norm is to judge, compare and decide if others are truly worth their time.

You see, every person is worth my time. Every. Single. One. That is the only facet in my life that never changes. Relationships, unfortunately, do change. People flow in and out of my life more than I wish they would. This may happen because of one misconstrued interaction, a difference in beliefs or the challenge of how we choose to use our time. Relationships take time. Invested time.

I’m bummed when people fade away from my life. It’s not a change I enjoy. I try to rekindle things hoping there are still embers willing to jump back to a burning flame. It happens in some instances, but not all the time. All things change when it comes to people in our lives.

My hope is this. I want people to know there is at least one person who’s willing to see them, listen to them, value them and learn from them on this planet – even if it’s for a brief moment or period of time. It’s my way of being Bowie. I choose to drive change when it comes to people.

So, if you see a tall, geeky person who is reaching out to get to know you, be calm. It’s my inner Ziggy willing to get to know you. It’s the ch-ch-ch-change I hope to see everyone embrace !!

I love reading Steve’s blogs, on his own site and his contributions to the #AdventBlogs series each year. He puts so much energy into his writing, and the creativity comes through each time. I like the theme he is exploring here though.

He is right to lament how relationships change. Sometimes they need to, sometimes they do without us wanting to. But they do change. He is also right though that there are some constants, even though our theme is “All things change” perhaps sometimes there are fixed points in time and space (to coin a Doctor Who phrase). Maybe Steve himself is one of those fixed points in time and space – he won’t change his belief that you are worth his time.

We see you too, Steve.

Till next time…

Gary

Three Trips (at least)

I know I’ve been writing about the adventures of our daughter becoming a homeowner. It’s because I’ve always been someone who experiences and sees stories come from more of everyday life than life-altering shifts. Those monumental occurrences happen so rarely compared to the beauty of what we encounter daily.

A few weekends ago, my wife and I traveled to Indianapolis for the next project on the list. Melanie purchased her “new” home when it was only 105 years old. Seriously. This fabulous abode was built in 1917. As you can imagine, with age you find new opportunities to bring things into the modern day. This weekend we were tackling her bathroom. The walls and floor needed attention. I didn’t dare try my hand at plumbing because . . . I know better.

My wife was putting her incredible organizational prowess into action while Melanie and I focused on the bathroom. We thought our projects would be “simple” and that we’d knock them out with ease. As you all know, home improvement projects are never, ever easy !! Within moments we were making a trip to the hardware store for something we didn’t anticipate we’d need.

Let me digress for just a bit . . .

My father LOVED hardware stores. That’s not an exaggeration. They were his favorite places on the planet to visit. He was content roaming up and down the aisles whether he needed something or not. Every time he visited me, he was sure to lean over during the weekend visit and gently say, “Don’t you think we need something at the hardware store?” I’d agree and we’d jump in the car to visit either the local mom-and-pop store or one of the big box behemoths. I relished those walks through the hardware store with my dad. They were some of my favorite times with him.

Now back to the present . . .

My dad’s love for all things hardware had now been ingrained in me, and I’ve been doing my best to pass this on to my kids. It just so happens that there’s a local hardware store within a mile of Melanie’s house. It’s nondescript and when you see the storefront you’re not quite sure it’s even open. I told her that we just HAD to visit the store because I was sure it would have anything we needed. She stayed back with mom and I went out to explore.

As I entered Suding Hardware, my jaw hit the floor. One of the staff greeted me with “Hey, brother. How can I help you?” I knew I was in the right place. I told him we needed something to remove/kill mold, some finishing nails for paneling, and more of “these” as I held up a fastener. He walked me through the store which was an endless conglomeration of stuff from floor to ceiling. Of course, he knew what “these” meant as he found the bin for the fastener I needed.

When I returned to the house, I made sure my daughter knew about this gem so she had a local store to visit in addition to the big box stores which got plenty of our business as well. The rule of thumb is that you’ll visit the hardware store at least three times to complete any project. This came to fruition this weekend as we visited Suding’s and Lowe’s five times. We needed to make these trips because each time we found a new component to make sure our project was a success. The trips were worthwhile and our “simple” project was finished in a mere 22 hours over two days.

I’m not complaining. This was the effort needed. The many hardware trips reminded me of work and how we choose to face obstacles sure to occur. We can either throw up our hands in exasperation bemoaning why we need to make ANOTHER trip to get more supplies, or we can embrace the chance to be better equipped. If we chose to look at adding additional trips to the business “store,” we’d understand and value that more people bring in new thoughts, perspectives, and energy.

Each project will require different involvement and unique skills. We can’t keep thinking everything we need only resides in the few people who are assigned to the tasks at hand. There’s bound to be someone who wants to greet you warmly and lead you to the part you needed that was missing.

This week make three trips (at least) to those outside your project circle and do some shopping. I’m sure you’ll find the perfect items to bring your projects to life.

Howdy !!

This past weekend my wife and I were fortunate to experience a milestone with our daughter as we helped get her new home in order. She bought her first home on her own in Indianapolis. We joined her to get things cleaned and just the way she wanted it because she wasn’t planning to move in permanently until next weekend.

Whenever you move into a new location, you wonder how the people who lived there prior to you lived. It’s a sure thing that things won’t match. Overall, the house is in good shape for being 105 years old !! Our main efforts were cleaning the inside of the house and clearing the property of landscaping that was fiercely overgrown. My wife and daughter started in on Friday for several hours before I was able to make it on Saturday.

It doesn’t take long for your body to remind you that you are no longer in your 20s !! Debbie and I kept up with the “kids” most of the time, but we were exhausted at the end of our day. I think I’ve discovered new joints in my body that I didn’t know existed years ago. When your knuckles ache just to bend your fingers, you know you’ve tapped into every part of your body. Putting some sweat equity into our daughter’s new adventure was well worth the pain.

When we hit our wall, we told Melanie we needed to stop and go eat. The word “hangry” was uttered often. We went back to her apartment, cleaned up, and headed to a nearby restaurant. The food and environment were spectacular. We felt somewhat renewed by getting something to eat. There was a tiny spark of energy that called for a well-deserved dessert. Our family loves ice cream. Probably too much to be honest.

Melanie suggested we stop by the market near her apartment where we could grab a pint or two and go back to collapse. Suddenly, she remember that a brand new ice cream shop had opened adjacent to the market. That sounded wonderful, so we decided to try it. Debbie stayed in the car and asked us to bring some back. Her day of extensive movement was done. We absolutely understood.

So, Mel and I walked down to the shop and as we opened the door, we heard an exuberant and warm greeting.

“HOWDY !!”

You couldn’t help but smile because an overt greeting of that sort is very uncommon these days. The greetings continued as we made our way to the display of beautiful vats of ice cream. Homemade ice cream !! We asked about the flavors and which ones were the worker’s favorites. The man who greeted us so gregariously told us every flavor was his favorite. We knew he meant it because of the joy that covered his face.

The same server looked at my daughter and said, “I love your shirt !!” It was a nondescript t-shirt, but she loved that he was so kind and was engaging in a conversation. We took our time getting our cups of ice cream, made sure to pay and take in the entire experience. As we were heading out the door, all four workers wished us a good night and asked us to come back again soon. We promised we would and headed on our way.

The reason this encounter was so remarkable was that Howdy Homemade Ice Cream is unique in how they hire its talent. They primarily hire team members who have intellectual and developmental disabilities. Two of the four people working were special needs folks. It was glorious !! The joy, engagement, and attention we experienced were second to none. The employees were naturally intentional and loved serving us. They made sure they performed exceptionally to show their talent and make sure we benefitted from their good work.

To see an employer make such an indelible impact through its mission and hiring efforts is encouraging. To realize that all people have abilities should be foundational for every employer. They just happen to exhibit themselves differently in each person.

There is joy in this world and in the workplace !! We just need to be willing to see it, acknowledge it, and see how we too can bring joy in what we do. Maybe it starts with a simple greeting . . .

Keep it Weird !!

This past weekend, my wife and I ventured to Austin, Texas. I was fortunate to be part of the Austin SHRM Conference. We added some extra time so we could explore the city. We’re trying to do this now whenever we get the chance.

Austin has a VERY cool vibe and it felt like my kind of town. There was art and music everywhere throughout the city. Murals adorned countless buildings with styles ranging from traditional to modern to abstract. The music flowed freely through the air and it changed with every step you took. You heard folk, rock, country and bluegrass all intertwining to make a symphony of eclectic sounds that provided a soundtrack as you toured the neighborhoods.

As we wandered into our first small, local shop a coaster instantly caught my eye and I picked it up without hesitation. It wasn’t only the tie-dye pattern which would have been enough. The message resonated the moment I read it. It was an instant purchase.

You see, one of Austin’s slogans as a city is “Keep Austin Weird.” It is everywhere you look. I found out from a friend who is a resident that the slogan came about as local shops were trying to keep big box stores from coming in to crimp the cool Austin culture as well as put them under. They won out and the slogan stuck.

You see, I feel this reminder helps with how you can practice HR. We often state that we want people to bring their whole selves to work . . . but we don’t really mean it. That may sound harsh, but if you step back and review the majority of actions that HR takes, it’s not built to encourage individuality. If someone was trying to “keep things weird,” we’d take steps to get them back into the fold. We view those who express themselves openly as someone we have to “deal with.”

This has to stop. We need to understand that every person is wonderfully different and unique. They have their weird already wired in. It’s not something they create, it’s how they live. Weird doesn’t mean abhorrent behavior. We’ve made this assumption for far too long and it’s never been right. HR spends too much time trying to confine, control and conform, and it’s exhausting.

I’d rather learn how each employee I work with is unique. I’d rather see how I could encourage them to amplify their strengths and see how their approach and perspectives bring new angles to the work we have in front of us. I’d also love to see HR embrace its weirdness to breathe life, empathy, grace and a people-first approach in all we do. We have the chance to carry this mantra forward and no longer settle into the traditional approaches which are worn out.

The coaster is going to take its rightful place on my desk at work so there is always a visible reminder in front of me. This week see what YOU can do to “keep it weird” !!

Living a Legacy

This past weekend I experienced one of those milestone moments in life. My father passed away in October of 2020, but we didn’t have the opportunity to bury him at that time. That was because both of my parents decided years ago to donate their bodies to science. So, my dad first went to Wright State University then he was cremated. The pandemic then threw the proverbial wrench into this situation just as it has everything else. His headstone was delayed and we weren’t sure when we’d have the chance to celebrate him one more time.

We were fortunate to have spectacular weather and my family was all able to come home to be with my mom to support her. We traveled a mile outside of town and all gathered around his final resting place. The blue skies, billowy white clouds, and bright sun added to the peaceful breeze and covering shade under a mighty oak combined for the perfect setting for our graveside ceremony.

I was grateful to be able to be in this “final” goodbye. My dad was incredible and lived a full life. I miss him but have been at peace since 2020 with his passing. That was because he lived his legacy far more than “leaving” one.

He taught me the power of honesty, integrity and being intentional with everyone you meet and in all you do. He lived his faith publically and showered love on my mom every moment of every day. He filled our lives with humor, folksy sayings, and steadfastness you could always rely on. He was always in my corner and a ready sage to give advice, direction and encouragement.

All of these attributes have been woven into how I approach life now. Every interaction we had was a chance to teach, impact and shape me. He modeled life in how he’d like to see it in others. He never lectured, he showed. His approach was to work alongside you. Sure, we tussled, disagreed and even argued over things. It never got in the way of our relationship. It enhanced it because I always knew he loved me no matter how heated moments got.

You see, over the history of humankind a minuscule percentage of people made such a historical impact as to have had a visible and lasting “legacy.” We know their names and their contributions whether they were positive or negative. They may have attained some level of notoriety or celebrity, or their contributions affected large sections of society.

I’m not saying that you could be one of those people, but most likely you will not be. That shouldn’t inhibit you from being like my dad. You can live your legacy every day. We need to realize that we encounter people for a short period of time when we consider the times we truly cross paths. Since that is our reality, why not leave a positive mark when you meet?

If we’re honest with each other, it only takes a small situation for us to become frustrated and say things that are harmful or destructive. Someone could cut you off in traffic or not move fast enough in line. They could let you down with what they’d say they’d do or their approach is just different than you when you work together. Those negative emotions just come out and when we react, we say things we didn’t need to. It’s hard to fight back and not fall into this trap.

We have the opportunity to be more mindful. Knowing that each interaction leaves an impression may influence us to react differently. I want to be someone who lives in a manner that is intentional, positive and encouraging. When I fail others, and I will, I want to show grace and ask people to forgive me when I get frustrated or disappoint them.

I want to be someone who lives the legacy I want to leave. I won’t get to see or know if I’m “remembered”, but I have the opportunity to live in a way now that can make a difference in the lives of all I encounter. You can do this as well. I encourage you this week to join me as someone living their legacy daily.

Not in Charge

I was listening this weekend to the Top 40 songs of 1985 on Sirius XM’s 80s on 8 channel. It’s definitely one of my go-to stations because it covered the transitions of life from high school to college to starting my career in HR to marriage. It was a big decade !! A staple song of the 80’s and especially 1985 was the phenomenal “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears.

Quick aside – they have a new album that just came out in 2022 entitled The Tipping Point and it’s epic !! Now back to the post . . .

Listening to this tune for the millionth time made me reflect on how accurate the title and the lyrics are even today. When you look around society and in the workplace, people want to “rule.” It is rarely overt and clearly obvious, but there’s an underlying tone of ruling. You see it all the time in the workplace. People use titles and levels to make sure others know that they are supposedly “in charge.”

There is a real draw for people to feel in charge. I guess that’s okay if it makes sure work and communication have clarity and removes uncertainty. However, when people yearn to be in charge they tend to want to be over people in an unhealthy manner. There’s an expectation that when those in charge bark, people automatically jump without question. I’ve seen this throughout my career and it’s never been good.

There’s a modicum of assumed power that people enjoy yielding over others. It gives people a false sense of worth, influence, and attention. They feel that they are the “go-to” people when it couldn’t be farther from the truth. It can be crippling in organizations because the self-centered nature of ruling tends to lead others to work around and circumvent interactions. There is far more effort in avoiding those who try to wield their scepter in order to work with others who effectively lead.

There’s a massive misconception about leadership in that this infers being in charge. Effective leaders may get things accomplished, but the focus is rarely directly on them. You’ll find true leaders direct, shepherd, encourage and approach others willingly and naturally. Their role may afford the chance to finalize decisions, but it’s not the primary driver for them.

As HR professionals, we need to jump into the midst of breaking up the ruler complex. Instead of grousing about the behavior of people who regularly hold themselves above others, jump in and address it. Make sure people know that this approach is ineffective, limiting, and unnecessary. We need to start in our own backyard as well. Too many HR pros wield assumed power because we’ll throw out the fear and “you might get sued” excuse. This isn’t effective and never has been.

There are many ways to make sure you foster a culture of leadership versus allowing those in people management roles to rule over others. Here are three I have found most effective. They work regardless of industry type.

Model the behavior you expect in others – People respond more to what they see than what is said. You can set the standard by your example of how you work with others before you give one word of coaching or advice. Your behavior is what people respond to. Be mindful and intentional. It works.

Be aware of how you approach others – There may be no greater attribute to work on in human interactions than this. How you approach others sets the stage for productive or destructive outcomes. A collaborative, willing approach will go so much farther than ever telling/demanding people listen and respond just because you said so.

Show grace – People may not be aware of their behavior and approach. You don’t know how they’ve learned from others or what has been modeled to them. So, instead of correcting them, give them grace and meet them where they are. Shaping people into leaders takes time, effort and patience. Failure will occur and it’s hard to break from old patterns. People need to know you’re going to come alongside them in a safe way. Then, over time, they’ll respond and evolve.

This week, cue up some Tears for Fears on your Spotify and keep it playing as a reminder of what we’re facing. It’s time to transform rulers into leaders. Trust me, your organization will be better for it !!

Let’s Explore !!

A highlight of our trip to Houston was the NASA Johnson Space Center. It was a pleasant surprise because we didn’t expect it to be so rich and full. We thought we’d spend a few hours milling around and then we’d head to another site. However, we ended up spending our entire day there and we didn’t get to fully experience all the Space Center has to offer.

As we looked at the various displays, we’d get lost reading the intricate details which described each item. We saw space suits, moon rocks, different pieces of equipment used on missions and so much more. Even though it was a vast collection, I’m sure that it doesn’t even scratch the surface of all that it has taken to accomplish the many milestones and new boundaries throughout the history of the space program.

There was a common thread woven through the museum. The men and women of the space program all had a sense of adventure, a willingness to take risks, and the faith that success was sure to occur. It’s hard to grasp the depth of all that went into making space exploration a reality. The hours of math. The countless experiments. The innovative new materials that were developed. You can’t possibly name all of the different things that came to life prior to any semblance of the level of technology we have today.

They were, and are, explorers. They have a perspective of always looking ahead to what could possibly happen. It evolved from rockets, to space flight, to Skylab to the International Space Station, and possibly flying to Mars. The telescopes and satellites keep reaching farther and farther to the ends of our galaxy trying to capture visuals of the universe itself !! It’s fascinating and ever-changing.

Of course, it made me think of Human Resources. I thought to myself – What would HR look like if we reached for the next horizon?

You have to know we’re the ONLY profession that is far too self-reflective while also being self-destructive. We aren’t looking for what’s ahead. Instead, we bemoan all that is “wrong” and our endless shortcomings. If you spend any time at all reading about HR or taking in webinars and conference presentations, you hear the message of endless fixing and patchwork attempts to repair a never functioning industry.

Yuck. Seriously. Does that type of approach make ANYONE excited about being in our field? We’re having ongoing, in-depth arguments about how to “rename” what we do thinking that will position us to finally take on a tangible, relevant leadership mantle. It needs to stop. Now.

I think we need to be explorers !! We need to look out into the abyss of our profession and the approach of our organizations and see how we can venture out to reshape, redefine and renew it all. If we were more like astronauts, we’d eagerly work toward seeing what’s next. We’d have the passion and anticipation of making a discovery that would alter how work is done and how people are treated.

We need to take all of the good work that has been done in HR and treat it as a solid foundation from which to launch. We need to cease retreading one program and initiative after another hoping to uncover a hidden gem. They may exist, but not in what we’ve done so far.

It’s time for us to explore. I’m tired of listening to the message that tears our profession down. I believe in what we do. I believe in humans and that most of them are good. I know that companies can be people-first AND perform !! We can reach heights never before seen or thought of.

Will you join me as we tackle the immense, complex and inviting HR universe which lies before us? I hope you will !!

Intersections

As much as we’d like our lives to play out in a straight line, they just don’t. We’d love to live in such a manner that we have only positive experiences and little to no conflict. It sounds perfect, but we know this isn’t the case. We can go through ups, downs and quick moves sideways within the same hour !!

Since this is our reality, we have a choice to try to maneuver through this erratic pattern alone or with others to come alongside us. Honestly, too many people are trying their best to just slog through whatever is facing them primarily on their own. I don’t think they’re trying to be defiant or elusive. I just think it’s just the messaging we believe or hear from others. We don’t want to put someone out because of what we’re facing. We’re sure we’d be a burden and it’s not that big of a deal really.

I don’t buy it. We weren’t created to go through life alone. We’re wired to be connected and available for those that pass through our lives. We all have intersections we go through over time. They may be life events like school graduations, marriages, getting a job or death. Those types of intersections get the most attention, but they are few and far between over the course of our lifetime. There are a multitude of other times when our paths cross with other people.

Photo by Kaique Rocha from Pexels

At the crack of dawn this past Friday, I was buying some donut holes at our local Meijer to take to my men’s group when I encountered Jane at the self-checkout. I was the only patron in the store and her eyes lit up when I walked up to scan my items. She asked if I was ready for the Spring snowstorm which was predicted for Saturday morning. I said I was, and then she told me it would be “nothing” compared to what she was used to.

One thing to note – Jane is most likely in her mid to late 70’s. She is a treat and she seems to be working at Meijer 24/7. Back to the story . . .

She went on to tell me about growing up on a 500-acre farm that had livestock and crops. She shared details about monumental snowfall, endless chores, hard work, and how she loved every moment. I also learned about the family restaurant her parents started after her father sold the farm so her mother could continue to work. She was tickled that it was one of the few restaurants on the way from Cleveland to Pittsburgh so everyone who passed by would inevitably stop in to try her mom’s famous cooking.

I was just checking out to buy some donut holes.

However, Jane wanted to connect and talk. She felt the need to share her life and be a welcoming start to my day. I had a feeling that she’d have these impromptu conversations with anyone who was willing to stop and give her a few minutes. I met her at an intersection. Those few minutes were rich, meaningful and worthwhile. It was a great way to start the day !!

Yesterday, as I was reading through Twitter, I saw a tweet from an HR peer who shared about his current job search. He was being vulnerable and shared his frustration. He was questioning whether he should stay in HR or not. This caught my attention because someone tagged me and a handful of other practitioners as examples of people who believe in HR. They noted that we do our best to encourage, elevate and move the field forward.

I didn’t take this as a pat on the back. I saw it as another intersection. I sent a direct message to the young man working to land his next great HR role and offered to help him in any way I can. We don’t live in the same city and I don’t yet know what he is/isn’t looking for or what his journey has been. However, I know that I can do something with my network to try and open a door for him. We’re talking on Tuesday and I can’t wait to get to know him more and see where it leads.

I don’t believe these encounters are random or coincidental. I look for people intentionally all the time. I make myself available in the event an intersection presents itself. Also, I’m open and looking for others when I’m crossing intersections in my life. I welcome those who take the time to stop and listen.

This week make sure you’re looking for intersections with those who cross your path. Or, if you need someone to meet you at your intersection, be open to whoever shows up. The key to either way is to not just walk past. Stop and see what happens !!

Let Love Rule

I’ve mentioned in the past that I’m a self-avowed HR Hippie. I dig the vibe, approach and general sentiment of seeking balance in all areas of life. That includes physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Before you read further, please know this isn’t a New Age post. I’m just sharing a viewpoint from my perspective that I’ve seen work over and over.

Just when we think that the world is coming to its senses, we find it pulling itself apart once again. Like most, I’m very concerned with all that is unfolding on the world stage. It’s a bit daunting because I’m sitting on my laptop thousands of miles away while others are wondering about their basic safety. To try and position anything of note during this time seems incongruent and frivolous. However, life continues to move in and around us while the conflict advances.

I feel that we’re in a time when we could reach out to each other intentionally instead of following the feeling that the fabric of society continues to unravel. It may seem like we’re in a loop of self-destruction everywhere we turn. I don’t want to succumb to that myself, and I don’t want to see those around me breaking down either. In the end, we can take action in a measured and effective way.

We can choose to love others regardless of how they treat us. You may feel that’s naive and Utopian, but as I mentioned before, it works. The difference is that I’ve seen it work when you stop to notice the individual in front of you. Mass efforts may bring a swell of great intentions, but they’re not sustainable. Most people also don’t have the capacity to effectively continue with a large number of relationships. This shouldn’t dissuade you though from approaching others from a loving vantage point.

I can hear the detractors screaming that we can’t say, or show, that we love our employees at work. It’s out-of-bounds or unwanted. People only desire a professional, arms-length relationship with their employer. It’s bad HR and bad practice in general to express love for others in the workplace.

I disagree.

Today, more than any time that I can recall, people are looking for ways to anchor and belong. That is true personally and professionally. This is much deeper than “engagement.” Every day in my role, I spend the vast majority of my time intentionally one-on-one with people. I know firsthand that this matters to their wellbeing, their balance, and how they will most likely approach others. It doesn’t matter if I’m spending time with fellow executives or people on the front line. They want to be seen, heard, valued and understood. They want to share their thoughts, opinions, joys and concerns.

Therefore, I choose to love them so that all of those actions can happen openly and without any sense of fear or hesitation. Please don’t misconstrue this as something that is flowery and squishy. Just the opposite. It is very intentional, respectful and direct. When people know that you are seeking them out and paying attention to them, you are going to be more successful than not in helping them feel safe, perform and thrive.

I may not be able to change the world stage, and I ache for those who are facing situations and an environment that is potentially life-threatening. I can, however, chip away and show a different way one person at a time. I can choose to let love rule.