Tag: SHRM18

Allow Grace

Have you ever made a mistake at work? Have you ever talked poorly about someone else you work with, or that you know, without that person knowing about it? Have you ever disappointed someone else because you didn’t follow through on what you said you’d do? Have you ever said something that you thought was harmless, but it hurt someone deeply?

The answer for me is a resounding “Yes” to all of the questions listed above. I’m not proud of that, but it’s a reality. I’m human. I’m sure to fall and fail others. Hopefully that’s not intentional, but it could be. I could have filled this entire post with more questions which feature how people fall short of positive and/or ideal behavior.

The challenge in today’s workplace, and in society overall, is that when we fail each other that there is no room for grace. We demand an instant response along with a staunch stance to be taken that has little room for a right/wrong position. We usually want others to hear our opinion and then we make arguments for others to come to our side. In the midst of this type of reaction, we completely run over our humanity.

Now, please understand that I’m talking about when someone makes a mistake and is insensitive or thoughtless about others and their feelings and/or diverse viewpoint. I’m not talking about overt actions and/or poor behavior. That is at a much deeper, and more concerning, level. Poor behavior should always be addressed. Even then though, I would offer that you can allow grace when entering into these difficult situations.

As HR professionals, we are daily in the midst of people. (At least I hope you are !!) People are messy and will fail each other. It’s unavoidable. When it occurs we have a choice. We can either rely on a system of unrealistic policies and procedures as a list of do’s/don’ts as our response, or we can be humans ourselves.

I would recommend that you try a new approach and allow grace to occur.

This may be foreign to you, and I can almost guarantee that it’s foreign to how employees have been approached in the past. We don’t feel that we have the latitude in our roles to show grace to others when they mess up. I just don’t think it’s true. We have more latitude and ownership in how we approach others because it’s our own personal style.

I know that when others have shown me grace when I’ve stumbled, I’ve been thankful. It allowed both of us to breathe, calm down and look at the situation in a fresh and open way. More often than not, it led to a productive outcome and a stronger relationship. Trust me when I say that allowing grace in our interactions with others will be positive most of the time.

This week buck the trend of others who tend to be reactive and destructive when people fail them. Instead of talking ABOUT others, talk TO them with an attitude of grace first so that you seek to understand them, the situation they’re facing and how to potentially move forward. If you try this, I think you’ll see the people aren’t as bad as you think. Also, it will make HR, and your life, more balanced and fulfilled. It works.

You Never Know

I’m still recovering from SHRM18. There were so many memorable experiences that it’s hard to capture them all. I had the chance to see old friends, meet some folks who’ve I’ve only known through social media and also meet a ton of new people. If you haven’t gathered my focus yet, the SHRM Annual Conference, and any HR event for that matter, is about the people.

I was in a very unique position this year in that I spoke at two Mega Sessions during the conference. They’re called “mega” because the room you are in is usually vast. I mean it. Vast !! I scoped out the room for my first presentation the day before people arrived for the conference and it took my breath away. No one was even in the room yet. As the time arrived for me to speak, the room filled up. The entire room and there were folks outside the hall in an overflow section. I was geeked by the turnout and a bit anxious to be honest.

I don’t normally like to talk about when I present because I consider it an honor any time I get an opportunity to do it. There’s no greater thrill than to speak to my peers. That’s a fact.

After the first presentation, I was overwhelmed by the response. I couldn’t leave the room for many minutes. I was floored by the people who came up for a hug and some reassurance. There were many laughs and tears shared. I was surprised by how many people stated that they were considering leaving HR, but they were reinvigorated and said they’d stay in the field after I spoke. That is humbling beyond measure. You have no idea.

You never know how you’ll be received if you have the opportunity to speak at an event. I never take it for granted. I heard several people say they just were glad to hear something positive for a change about the work they did. It seems so simple, but it is unfortunately missing in our profession. Instead of lifting each other up, we spend more time criticizing and tearing down our circumstances and the people we work with. It still floors me that there are so many HR peers who spend so much time being discouraged.

The second day was even more overwhelming than the first. I spoke after the final keynote and it’s when many attendees head home. The next room was overflowing once again. It was hard to hold back tears just looking out over the crowd. Once I was finished, I had to do my best to get back to the SHRM Store to do the other surreal thing I get to do now – sign books. However, I needed to make sure to get back. As I was leaving, the most amazing encounter happened.

A young man asked to talk with me and he saw I was in a rush. He introduced himself as Usman from Pakistan and he just wanted a few moments of my time. I asked him to walk with me, and he was kind enough to oblige. He told me how exciting it was to hear about having HR be people-centric, and it’s something he wanted to see happen where he worked. He told me he was going to buy copies of my book for his entire staff. I was crushed by this. Others had done this (also amazing), but he was going to buy 38 copies and take them home to Pakistan from Chicago !!

He was kind enough to stand in line with others and I asked him to wait to be the last person because of so many purchases. He agreed and then he called a member of his team in Pakistan to get the names of his staff. She worked to get the names and asked for ten minutes to get him the names. It was 11:00pm at night where she was !! She sent a list and I sat with Usman and personalized each book.

Then . . .

We ran out of names and he had six copies remaining. He said that one was for him and the other five were for people that he was planning to hire in the future. They weren’t even on his team yet. He said that he wanted them to have the same positive message to work from as the people they would be joining.

You see, you never know . . .

This week make sure you encourage the people who come into your life at work, at home, at school or out in public. They long to be like the people I met. They want someone to believe in them and they want to belong. You can make that happen. You may be the one connection that makes a difference.

You never know !!

Step Out of Line !!

I’ve just returned from SHRM18, and this was one of the best SHRM Annual Conferences I’ve attended. It was the largest and most attended in SHRM’s history, and yet it felt very accessible and easy to maneuver. The attendees were geeked whether they were in sessions, browsing the SHRM store, enjoying the keynotes or taking in the wonder of Chicago.

At the end of one of the days, the 17,000+ attendees all seemed to be leaving at the same time. I was in the midst of everyone else and was hot and tired – just like the masses. I walked out into the city heat to grab a cab and was told to go back in line. I didn’t know there was a line, so I headed back inside. What I saw was staggering !! The queue for the cab line was enormous and folded back on itself many times. The lines for the shuttles seemed to go on forever as well. I also looked at a countless number of attendees looking at their phones waiting for their Uber or Lyft to arrive.

After observing all of this, I tried to lighten the tension by suggesting people step out to get a drink. I was met with scowls and grumbling. This didn’t seem to be going well in general. So, I made a decision.

I stepped out of line !!

I walked out of the cavernous McCormick Center and started walking down a street. I looked at a map on my phone and saw that I had a short 46 minute stroll in front of me as the sky above me darkened with thunderstorm clouds. I didn’t care and kept walking. After about eight expansive Chicago blocks, I spotted a cab by itself across the street. The driver was checking something in his trunk, and he was heading back to get in. I screamed across traffic, “Sir !! Sir !!” He saw me and beckoned me over. I zig zagged through passing traffic and collapsed into the cab dripping with sweat.

The driver calmly greeted me and asked, “Hello !! Where to sir?”

I told the driver my destination and then he began talking. He asked me how my day was and where I was from. He told me he was originally from Lagos, Nigeria and that he had been in Chicago for over ten years. His only job in the states has been driving a cab in Chicago, and he loved it. He loved talking to passengers and hearing about who they were, what they did and why they were visiting Chicago. He was wonderful, welcoming and fascinating !! All of my anxiety and stress of rushing back to get to the next HR event wanted, and we had a fantastic conversation.

As we pulled up to my hotel, I extended my hand out to the driver and said, “My name is Steve.” He replied, “My name is Sunday.” I thanked Sunday for the best experience of my time in Chicago yet.

I never would have met Sunday had I stayed in line. The lines were the most obvious choice because they were the system that was provided and that people were used to. There’s nothing wrong with the system, but it was bogged down. It was leading to frustration and angst because people wanted to get out of the building for the day.

This sounds like HR and the world of work that all of us face. If we would have the courage to step out of line vs. trying to contain people within lines, we’d have a completely different experience every day. We would see what’s happening all around us because we’d be in different environments. We’d have to fend for ourselves and learn how to solve situations from a fresh perspective, and we’d enjoy the adventure !!

All of the “learnings” we can encounter can occur in the most unlikely places. The key for all of us is that we intentionally – step out of line !!

What Others See . . .

How many times have you walked into as an HR pro, and you felt the room grow cold and silent? If the answer is once, that’s TOO many !! The old standby you hear from HR folks is that when you walk into a room and people audibly say, “Ssshhhh, here comes HR !!”

Sadly, when that occurs (and again, once is too often), we tend to drop our shoulders and our gaze to our feet in defeat. We don’t feel that we can respond because we’re afraid that we’ll hurt someone’s feelings. Don’t we have feelings as well? Aren’t you tired of this being the response when we show up? Also, this isn’t just with front line staff, this response happens at all levels of organizations up to executives. This has to stop and I want to give you some tools to make that happen.

The first thing to think about is what others see when you’re coming.

I’m not suggesting that you become someone you’re not. In fact, you should be genuine and true to yourself always. HR people lack organizational confidence at times. We strive to “get along” which is admirable. Getting others to be collaborative is effective in any company. But, forsaking your identity is not. Everyone in HR has great things to offer. The key is to step forward and out of the shadows on purpose.

Secondly, be positive in your approach.

I’ll be honest, we may have earned the negative response we receive from others. HR has tended to be more based on restricting others with a wide variety of do’s and don’ts feeling that this is our duty and how we add value. It just isn’t true and this approach has never worked. Never !!

So, be intentionally positive with others. See the best in them and make sure that your focus is to lift others up. It’s odd to even have to suggest this. However, being positive takes action and it’s your choice. Wouldn’t it be great that when others saw you approaching, they had a positive response first?

Finally, own who you are and what you do.

I know that I’ve written this before, and we’ve made great progress. But, I still meet many HR people who feel that this is just beyond their reach. You have to believe me that it’s not. Being self-aware and self-assured are great attributes of all leaders. I hope my peers understand that we can, and should, lead in our organizations and our profession. We will always have a place as long as we stay relevant. Own your role. It’s what other’s do naturally and it’s time we took our place.

This coming week I am going to the SHRM Annual Conference (#SHRM18) where I will get to meet and interact with thousands of HR people. I can’t wait !! It will be my goal to see them in a positive light when they’re coming down the hallway. I will do my best to connect with them and re-energize them so that when they return to their workplace, they rock it !! It should be our goal for HR to act, lead and be seen positively. Will you join me ??

 

To Blog Or . . .

. . . not to blog. That is the question. Whether, ’tis better to keep your thoughts to yourself. Or, to take the chance to put yourself out there for people to critique.” (With apologies to William Shakespeare)

I’ve been blogging on a weekly basis for over seven years now. It’s something that I truly enjoy and hope to continue for years to come. Sure, it’s tough to come up with new “material” all the time, but that is part of the challenge. I have a handful of friends who have been blogging for longer than I have, but that number continues to unfortunately shrink.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I understand that it takes a ton of energy to write – more than most people think. I also get that you can tire of blogging, lose interest in the passion you once had, or you have other circumstances in life that pull you in new directions. I’ve noticed a few new movements in social media that honestly excite me instead of discourage me !!

Podcasts – More and more of the “original” HR bloggers are now starting podcasts. They are still sharing their voice, but in a different format. Podcasts are fantastic and diverse. You can find them on HR, business, the arts, etc. It’s a great way to broaden what you know. I hope that these friends continue to blog, but as long as they’re sharing – I’m good.

New Voices – There are many new voices who have begun to blog and they are in various stages of their careers. I love hearing what they have to say and their perspective. Yes, they’re covering some topics that have been blogged about in the past, but so what ?? I have added many of these new bloggers to my Blog Roll and I encourage you to check them out.

HR Conferences – There have been bloggers who have attended HR conferences for years. They are brought in to provide coverage and share what they’ve heard in sessions. It’s a great way to get content out. I’m especially excited about the #SHRM18Blogger squad that has been convened this year. They have been very visible and active to bring the event to life even before it occurs in June.

There is one trend I do not like to see, and that is when I hear about people who demand absolutes from blogging. The idea of “for and against” has rarely yielded anything positive. The reason for that is that if YOU are for something, then you see is has value. If it runs contrary to your beliefs or how you practice HR, then you tear it down.

I’d like to suggest that we stick with a better approach and that is that blogs “inform” us. They always have and that is why blogging still intrigues me !! I want to be informed of views that both align and divert from mine. I love reading the blogs of many of my peers to learn from them. I don’t agree with all of them, but they give varying perspectives. That is the beauty of sharing thoughts and ideas.

I’d encourage you to start a blog if you want to share your voice. I’d encourage you to read other’s work so that you can see where people are coming from and be more informed. One other item . . . I encourage you to share the work of others.

I know I’ve stated this many times before. In order to shatter the social media/blogging echo chamber, share the blogs of others. It’s not enough to “write into the wind”. I love to see other’s work shine and get spread around the globe. We have the means to do it. Please join me in this effort.

Blogging connects us and makes us a stronger HR community. The stronger our HR Tribe is, the more we influence the industry and organizations. I look forward to seeing what continues to be written !! I choose to blog.

Image from the Editorial Cartoonists – Cox & Forkum

 

Just Ask !!

This past week I had a business owner from another town reach out to me for advice. That may not seem odd to you, but this isn’t that common for most folks. Let me give you a little background. We’ve met once or twice in passing at HR conferences. I think he’s a great businessperson with a heart to help others. We’ve never worked on anything directly, and he is not a vendor that I use.

Now, if you don’t know this, I’m a massive extrovert !! I thrive on human interaction from any front and in any circumstance. I don’t know if they make an “E” big enough on the Meyers-Briggs to describe how I enjoy interacting with others. So, when this business owner reached out, I felt it was normal. I was geeked to see what he needed and if I could help.

I responded to the e-mail he had sent me and then followed up with a phone call. He happened to be at a conference in New York, but said he’d give me a ring during a break. We connected later in the day and had a great conversation. I was able to hear what he was facing, give him some ideas and resources and ease his concern about the people situation he was addressing.

Please note a critical point here. It didn’t matter that this business owner reached out to me specifically. The key is – He was willing to ask for help !!

Again, we aren’t that familiar with each other. He needed someone to talk to, and he liked my approach on things from what I’ve written and what he’s heard from my presentations. That takes quite a leap of faith to reach out, and I admire him for taking a chance to do it.

I think it’s a brilliant example that we should use ourselves personally and professionally. Too often we feel that we must be fiercely independent in all we do. That is silly, selfish and naive. The myth of self-sufficiency in the workplace is what leads to isolation, separation and silos.

There are far too many people who want to ask questions, but they are hesitant to do so because they’re afraid you won’t take the time out of your day to answer them. It’s true. We would rather struggle and eek through our circumstances instead of asking a question because we’re afraid to impose on others. That breaks my heart.

You have the time to help others. This isn’t a “job duty” or part of your some insurmountable burden. I get discouraged when I see others who won’t take time to invest in other humans. You have to understand that you’re missing out when you can’t take the time to answer questions.

The 15 minutes I spent answering questions for this business owner will hopefully get him out of the funk he was in so he can move forward. THAT is worth my time. I know that we don’t work together. But, I want to see others succeed in what they do. It may sound Utopian, but I’m good with that.

I urge people to connect with other HR people intentionally on a daily basis. I do it through this blog and social media platforms. I continue to fight against the tide of people who want to do things just on their own. I do this because I have questions, and I relish the chance to reach out and ask someone for their insight and advice.

Always remember two things  . . .

We’re better as professionals and as humans when we’re intentionally connected, and

We’re better when we have the courage to break out of our independence and ask questions !!

This week take the steps to connect with others and remember to Just Ask !!