‘Intentional’ Articles at Everyday People, Page 16

Mom.

In very early 1964 on an Army base in Nuremberg, Germany (West Germany at the time), a young woman became a mother for the first time. The challenge was that her son was one month premature. The doctor’s reassured her and did everything they could to take care of this newborn. He spent time in an incubator, but eventually became healthy enough to head home.

As if this wasn’t enough, her young husband had volunteered to serve in the Army and he was about to take one of four tours to Vietnam to fight for his country. After the young family returned to the States, the young mother had a second son in Columbus, Georgia. Soon after this, her husband who served as a Staff Sergeant fell ill. He battled the best he could, but cancer won and left her with a 4 year-old and a 2 year-old.

She returned back to her small rural hometown, Luckey, Ohio (yes it is a place !!) and went to college while she held a full-time job. She earned her Bachelor’s in Education and became a teacher in a vocational school. She later earned her Master’s Degree and worked 30+ years teaching students to become Administrative Assistants. She remarried after being a widow nine years and she will be celebrating her 40th anniversary with this great man in June 2016.

She always encouraged her two sons to do their best and expected them to excel. She was always positive and wanted both of them to succeed. Throughout her life she has focused on others in her church, her community and in her school. Whenever, she meets anyone she gives them her full attention, and is genuinely interested in who they are and what they are sharing. Quick to laugh as well as shed an emotional tear, you know that she is fully invested in you. Most of the time that ends up in deeply warm hugs when she sees you and when she leaves.

Her two sons have been very blessed and fortunate as well. One is a doctor who now serves as an executive in a large healthcare system in Tennessee, and her other son is an executive for a regional pizzeria working in Human Resources !! She welcomed two amazing women when they chose to get married (25+ years both) and she still is enamored with her five grandchildren who are now all young adults.

Just this weekend, she saw her granddaughter, who earned her B.S. in Psychology as a summa cum laude, become a college graduate. Being the consummate Mom, she brought snacks of monster cookies and trail mix that she made which she gave her granddaughter, her grandson and their parents. Each paper lunch bag had their names on them (of course), and she took enough pictures to fill a photo album !!

By now, I hope you know this is my mother, Connie. She has left an indelible legacy on me and her family that will last eternally. She’s honestly the type of person that never talks about herself only others. However, when you get a chance to talk to the people whose lives she has touched, you only hear about her.

It’s odd to me that we only set aside one day a year for Mothers. Moms don’t get days off and they deserve our appreciation every day of the year. I am so fortunate to be from a family that is full of positivity, faith and selflessness. It’s been a great model to learn from and, hopefully, share with others in my life.

Over the years there have been far more hugs than tears. Far more lasting memories than struggles. And, far more love, joy and stories that will never fade. She continues to be someone who deeply touches everyone she encounters naturally.

Thanks mom.

And You Are ??

This past week I attended the SHRM Talent Conference and it was spectacular !! The keynote speakers were all solid and the concurrent sessions had depth and relevant content.

I love that people come to conferences to learn, gain skills and get professional development to do their jobs better. I also dig hearing speakers that motivate me, make me laugh and allow me to have a release from what I do on a daily basis. All of those facets of attending a conference are needed. Chances are you’ll even be asked to give a report back to your boss about the takeaways you had.

What if you missed the best takeaway when it was sitting right next to you?

For those of you who may not know, I’m an absolute extrovert who just loves being in a sea of new people. I see events like this as an opportunity to mingle and meet peers. I think we lose sight of the fact that people who practice HR are all around us during a conference. It seems that attendees are surprised when you attempt to make eye contact and say, “Hello.”

As in most conferences I’ve gone to, attendees flow past fellow attendees and people keep to themselves. They make sure to get a seat in the area of the room where the presentation occurs, and then they sit and wait to hear what the speaker has to share. Did you know that when you listen to a presentation, you remember 10% of what was said on average? Even the great ones !!

I have a much different approach to HR Conferences. I go to them to meet people. I understand that this isn’t the norm, and I’m good with that. What I’ve found, however, is when I meet new HR people and connect them with other new HR people, great things happen. During SHRM Talent, I met folks from all over the U.S. and from around the globe !! I learned different approaches, insights and also what they expected from the conference.

I also make sure to meet vendors and see what they do. I may use their services, but I also may not. The key to me was to see who they were and how they interacted with HR folks. If they were all about the sale, I remembered that. If they were about learning about the attendees and how to meet their needs to make their company better, I remember that too (and made sure to connect with them.)

You see, I can give you countless examples of why taking this approach to conferences matters. I have met people that I keep in touch with on a regular, if not daily basis, that make me a better human. They also make me a stronger HR professional. With them I have a whole set of resources available with the click of a button on my phone or laptop. With them I have a deeper appreciation of HR because they give me their perspectives on things. With them I have established life-long friendships that I cherish.

To be honest, I couldn’t tell you which speaker I was listening too when I met these folks. However, I am assured that I can reach out to any of them at any time to stay connected.

So, when you go to your next HR event whether it’s a local HR chapter meeting, a networking forum or the massive SHRM Annual conference, step back and notice the people. When you get their attention, introduce yourself and ask, “And you are ??” Trust me. You’ll be glad you did !!

People. Every. Day.

I’ve had this small voice in the back of my head that has wondered what it would have been like to be a college professor. I’d want to teach students about HR of course. I envision gathering at the beginning of the semester in my classroom. I’m a bit anxious and the students are wondering what is in store. I’m sure most of them are expecting a syllabus on the first day outlining coursework, readings, projects and exams.

After I get everyone settled down, I ask all of the to put down their tablets or close their laptops. Then I ask them to take their textbooks and put them on the ground. The students look concerned at each other wondering what is going on and a few are probably posting on social media about how odd this new professor is. Then I start . . .

“Hey everyone. Glad you came today to HR 101. To get started, I want you to look around the room and see what you notice.”

After a slight awkward silence, I step in.

“I hope you notice your fellow classmates. You see THEY are what Human Resources is all about. If you remember nothing else this whole semester, remember this.

HR is about people. People. Every. Day.”

I don’t want them to enter the field of HR without this essential truth. I don’t want them to have to be reminded after 3 to 5 years that people matter. I don’t want them to ever think that the policies, procedures, regulations and rules that are components of HR should come before people.

It sounds simplistic, but it’s missing in organizations. Every. Day. There are tons of HR pros who are more content with “how’s” of what they do versus the “who’s” they do it with. Instead of seeing the many employees that you come across as tasks that fulfill your daily to-do list, try recognizing them as a mosaic that ebbs and flows on a regular basis.

There is a sea of diversity and variety that you get to work with all around you. Not one day goes by that is the same because you’re working with people (every day). You have the opportunity to choose whether that matters or whether it’s a nuisance.

I have to admit that when I started in HR, people weren’t the focus of my efforts. That was an expectation set forth by the company I worked for. We were more concerned with structure, compliance and making sure people fit within rules and systems. There was little room for creativity or innovation. I thought it was because of the size of the company I worked for, but I’ve found this to be more of the norm for how HR operates (and it comfortable doing.)

After I held a position where the owner told me that the ONLY reason I had a job in HR was for his people, I’ve never looked back. Unfortunately, it’s still not the “norm.” We spend more time on the “stuff” of HR and not the people we work with.

This week, join my class of HR 101. Put away the things of your job and put the manuals of rules you’ve developed to the side and look around the room. See what you notice and remember what HR is truly about.

People. Every. Day.

A Rocking Chair

This past weekend I was fortunate to be part of a celebration at work. It was a chance to say “Thank You” to a Team Member for an incredible accomplishment. One of our delivery drivers had decided to retire. This may seem like a normal occurrence in the life of a company, but when it happens at our company, it’s a big deal !!

This is true because we’re an anomaly in the restaurant industry. We have several Team Members who have many years of service which is fantastic. Yes, we have turnover but it’s not our focus. Celebrating folks who have 10, 15, 20,25 and more years of service is common.

This retirement celebration, however, set a new standard. You see we’ve been in business for 62 years and this Team Member has been with us for 55 of those 62 years !! That is ridiculous and phenomenal !! I knew he had been with us for a long time, but I had no idea it was this extensive. He started with us when he was 15 years old and has been taking care of guests for a lifetime – literally.

To get ready for this day, we asked around to see if there was anything we could get to commemorate his retirement. His wife was wonderful and she told us, “He’d like a rocking chair so he can sit on the porch and drink a Coke.”

55 years and thousands of hours of service, and he wanted a place to rest and reflect. Epic.

We met at the restaurant where our driver had worked the majority of his time with us and we did our best to make it a surprise. The turnout of family, friends and co-workers was inspiring. So many people couldn’t wait to also say “Thank You.” As everyone gathered in a party room, we got the jet black rocking chair out of my car and walked through the restaurant. You could hear oohs and aahs as we walked by. I heard “look at that chair !!” and “I wonder who that’s for?”

It was so cool to witness. You have no idea how humbling it was to experience this anticipation as to how he’d react. I asked everyone to have a seat, said a few words of thanks and then asked our retiree to say a few words. He stepped up and was visibly moved. Very graciously he said, “I’ve enjoyed my time here and the people I’ve worked with. It’s been a great family to work for. I appreciate everyone coming out for this. Thank you.” That was it. Beautiful.

I asked him to try out the chair for pictures. He sat down, looked up at me and said, “Look at that, it fits just right !!”

Too often we overthink recognition when it comes to our Team Members. We put our focus on programs and not people. Recognition can be broken down into asking what matters to someone. The differentiator in how HR and companies approach this is whether or not you’re willing to allow individual requests. This takes more work, but it’s worth it.

It’s another example of how we complicate and layer HR when it is begging to be simplified. More does not mean better, it just means more. This week break the mold of conformity in recognition and look at the individuals you need to recognize instead.

Who knows? You might need to go out and buy a rocking chair.

The Eyes Have It !!

Every so often I am fortunate enough to travel for HR. I’ve been an active volunteer for SHRM for over 15 years now and it’s always cool to me to get to go to a place away from home and see my peers. I never take it for granted and I’ve been able to venture out to places I may have never gone to on my own.

Travel is a unique thing. When I first began to travel, I think I was like many of the folks I encounter now. I was anxious and uncertain of where to go and what to do. People are constantly milling around you and they look as anxious as you feel. Many people are rushing without care or concern of any other human within 25 feet of them because they need to get to their airplane gate, taxi or desk at the hotel.

I decided that if I traveled like this, I would be miserable, frustrated and impatient with others. That runs completely counter to who I am and how I see others. So, I slowed down and looked up. I no longer buried my head down to join the mad rush to the next destination. Instead, I really took a different approach . . .

If you don’t know, I’m a very intentional person. I sincerely want to meet and know every person that I cross paths with. I’m intrigued as to who they are and what they do. I know there’s a chance that I will meet someone that may not be “safe” or could take advantage of me, but my experience says that this is rare. This brings me back to my new approach – I make eye contact with people.

I don’t gawk or stare. I don’t fix on someone to be overt or creepy, but I look at people and if we connect, I really take a giant leap !! I say, “Hello !!” That’s it. Nothing more.

If someone wants to chat, I chat. If someone gives me the head nod, I reciprocate. I do this with the driver from long-term parking, to the ticketing agent, to the TSA ID checker, to everyone I meet. When I do this I get one of two responses. The one that is unfortunately the majority is that people avoid making eye contact because they don’t want to interact. I get that, but it’s disappointing. When people do make contact and chat, it’s fantastic !! Why ?? Because I truly feel that people today want someone to notice them.

We are all constantly surrounded by people and yet we act as if we’re completely alone. We surround ourselves with social media, but we really only look to see if people notice us. It’s time we change our approach – especially in HR.

Each and every day we’re surrounded by employees, clients, vendors and new people. Are you taking the time to pause, make eye contact and greet them? Do you stay long enough to see how someone is really doing or are you in your own mad dash because your e-mail is more important than the person you just passed ??

It’s time we looked up from whatever we think is more important and notice the people around us. You never know if the “Hello !!” you give will be just the thing that someone else needs more than anything. Trust me when I say that people aren’t doing this. People deserve to be recognized and noticed.

This next week start making eye contact. It will change your view of others, your work and the world around you. I’ll be watching and when I see you, I’ll be making eye contact – guaranteed !!

Keep Smiling !!

Quick set of questions. Do you know any children? Do you have children of your own? Have you ever been a child yourself?

This may seem silly, but I think we forget. We’re so busy being adults that we lose the sight of what it was like to be a kid. This past week, one of my co-workers showed me a video of his daughter at gymnastics practice. She did seven back handsprings in a row which is incredible by itself !! She needed to do at least seven in order to qualify to compete at her level. She was geeked after she hit this milestone for the first time. She went over to her Mom and, “I don’t think I can stop smiling !!”

Wow !! Think of how she’s approaching success. She had to practice for literally years to do seven handsprings in a row. I’m sure there were many disappointments along the way, and maybe even a feeling of quitting and giving up. However, she kept pushing forward and accomplished her goal. The other great thing about this story is that her accomplishment was to open other doors for her to reach even greater heights.

The entire time I spent to listen to this story and watch this video was five minutes. I thought it was amazing that he’d share this success story with me. It mattered to him to have me share this experience.

I’d bet that if I came to your corner of HR and listened to you, your sentence would be “I don’t think I can stop . . .” and then words would be filled in like “being frustrated”, “banging my head against the wall”, “avoiding negative people”, etc. I know this is generalizing, but we tend to come to work every day with our focus on what’s going to go wrong. We aren’t like kids who look at each opportunity as something fresh and new. The reality of work (or at least how we view it) has sapped us of being willing to see what we do as a child would.

What happened to us ?? Why do we see being “childlike” as a weakness ?? When we were kids we couldn’t help but look at things with wonder, awe and curiosity. I think that these attributes are essential to being a positive person and they are critical if you want to excel in HR !!

So, I have a simple exercise that you need to try. It will cost you absolutely nothing, but it will reshape everything. Smile !!

You may think that is inane and a waste of time. You have more important things to do that are much more effective when it comes to HR tools. I beg to differ. This is why . . .

If you smile at someone, they either will reciprocate (naturally), or they’ll avoid eye contact. When someone avoids my smile, I see it as a challenge worth taking on. I don’t confront them, I just wait for the next time I see them and give them a smile again. The difference between smiling because you were told to is smiling because you can’t help it !! When you meet people with your smile first, you’re setting the tone for the conversation.

I truly want others in HR to enjoy the field intentionally and all the time. This isn’t some parlor trick, but it is a call for you to bring out your inner child and let it shine. The next time I see you be warned. A smile’s coming because “I don’t think I can stop smiling !!”

P.S. – the picture is my smile just so I get a jump on things !!

We Can Be Heroes !!

This past week the rock universe took one of it’s brightest stars back. The legendary David Bowie passed away after his battle with cancer. I have been a fan of his for decades.

Oddly enough, the first time I saw him was during a Christmas special where he sang the “Little Drummer Boy” with Bing Crosby. I remember watching the special with my Dad and he wondered who the “weird guy” was singing with Crosby. I said, “That’s David Bowie Dad, and he’s cool !!” He disagreed and thought that it was surreal to see the immortal crooner singing with this thin, pale British singer.

I’ve always been drawn to Bowie because he was willing to be himself. He never followed the norms that were expected in his music, his appearance or his approach. I also admired that he continued to remain relevant throughout his entire life when many of his peers faded into oblivion.

There are many attributes of David Bowie that I think translate well into how I practice HR and would love to see others consider and adopt. Please note that much of this is already happening. You just need to own it.

Be Genuine and Authentic

You could never note any time where David Bowie was not himself. He may have seemed contrary to his contemporaries, but he never apologized for it. I think HR people should be bold in who they are personally and professionally. It doesn’t mean that you should be avant-garde just to stand out. It does, however, call for you to not have an “HR/work face” and your normal face. There are too many people who feel that they can’t be themselves in HR and they end up being frustrated. If a company can’t accept you for who you are and how to practice HR, then don’t stay in that role or at that company. You’ll never have as much of an impact as you could.

Define new boundaries

Bowie shocked the rock world during his androgynous, glam rock Ziggy Stardust phase. He morphed into the sleek, fashionable man of the 80’s and then went a completely different route in the 90’s and 00’s with his band Tin Machine and working with artists like Trent Reznor. He constantly looked for new ways to be artistic and share his gift. It kept him relevant and others were inspired because he was willing to take risks and reinvent himself.

HR is reluctant to change. We feel the tried and true will always work, and we just need to apply it with small tweaks and adjustments. That just isn’t true. The biggest threat to our profession is whether we will stay relevant as a profession. To make sure we do, we need to see new boundaries and step out to set them. You don’t need permission. You just need to don the next phase of your career and adapt.

Share Your Work

I think there are too many of my peers who keep to themselves. This isn’t a matter of introversion vs. extroversion. HR people tend to sell themselves short and don’t recognize the impact they have on people every day. The music and contributions David Bowie made would have been diminished if he created and then shared his work with only a few people around him. Even though he was different, he stepped forward and shared his artistry with the world. He couldn’t keep things to himself and neither should we.

HR that only serves HR is meaningless. The business world without HR will continue to move on if we insist on working and living in arenas and forums outside of them. We need to be different ourselves and bring a fresh, challenging effort to what we do. As Bowie said, “We can be heroes. Just for one day.”

His message was meant to push others. His music was meant to make you see and think differently. He was one of my rock heroes and his impact will live on in HR if I have something to say about it !!

Your Voice Matters !!

The calendar has turned which is always exciting !! I’m really geeked about this year because it is also a Presidential election year. This post isn’t about one candidate or another because I think everyone should make their own choice for who they support. It’s unique this year because we have those vying for their party’s nomination and they are either polarizing or nominal. But it’s January. I’m sure many things will change before November comes !!

There is another event which has a major impact on Human Resources which happens on Tuesday, 1/12/16 and that is the State of the Union address. It is President Obama’s final address and it will surely be filled with issues and items that affect the workplace. Don’t believe me ?? Check out his past address which ushered in the Affordable Care Act, several labor initiatives and a call for other items ranging from wages to paid leave.

The fact is EVERY State of the Union address directly affects HR and the workplace. This isn’t a political call to action, it’s a reality. For the past few years the great team at SHRM‘s Governmental Affairs have been hosting the #HRSOTU – the HR State of the Union Twitter chat.

I’ve made sure to watch the speech every year and also participate in the Twitter chat. It matters because it gets out the voice of HR and our perspective on the items that come up. You may say . . . but it’s just something on Twitter. Fair enough. However, every time we have one of these, it gets attention from folks in Washington, D.C. It plants seeds for an opportunity to possibly discuss these workplace items with congressional staff locally or personally in D.C.

It’s very easy to say “No” to opportunities like these and continue to implement whatever comes out as the newest law or regulation. We can sit by and just react, or we can make our voices heard. I personally know the impact that being an advocate for HR has. I’ve participated in Visit the Hill days with SHRM several times, advocated in my home state, participated in roundtables with the Department of Labor, and was even fortunate enough to testify in front of Congress. This isn’t meant to be a “brag” list. It’s an example of a regular person who is an HR professional who wants to make sure legislators hear the voices of employers and employees. You are one of those HR practitioners too !!

Every time I’ve participated, the staff and/or representatives of Congress want to hear from us and not lobbyists. They want context and not posturing. It only takes your willingness to step out and try it. They want to hear your voice and your perspective. You have that built in already !! HR advocacy is key to our profession and will help shape things. Wouldn’t you rather have your voice heard than to be silent?

Start with a first step by participating in the #HRSOTU Twitter chat with me and several other great HR folks from around the country. Let’s observe, comment and share. It matters !!

#7Songs – Thunder !!

I’ve really enjoyed participating in the 7Songs blog series. To be candid, it’s impossible to get it down to seven single songs. I’m sure you could make a list like this fairly easily using different eras of music, different genres of artists and a myriad of different filters to compile a “best of” list.

The item that pulled all of these songs together for me can be summed up in one word – passion !! I am passionate about my choices and most people are very passionate about music. You may love one type of music and absolutely despise another. If you bring that up, you are sure to get arguments from others because they will defend their faves as well.

For me, there is only one band that embodies passion for me because every time they strike a chord on the guitar or belt out a crushing vocal, they bring it !!

#7 – Thunderstruck by AC/DC

You can’t help but banging your head and throwing your hands in the air the minute an AC/DC song starts. Thunderstruck epitomizes the essence of this
Aussie power group !! They made a career of songs built on three chords. Even though it’s “simple” music, they make arenas erupt.

I had been a fan of AC/DC for years when Thunderstruck came out. They had been making rock anthems for years before MTV had videos. So, I also got to SEE them perform this, and I couldn’t contain myself. The riff that Angus Young starts deftly moving up and down the frets of his guitar hooks you instantly. It’s something that would turn into a performance tied to HR down the road.

When I was chair of the Ohio SHRM State Conference, the theme was HR Rocks !! (double exclamation points included) For those of you who know me double exclamation points are the norm when I write (even texts and e-mails) because they epitomize passion.

As chair, I pulled my committee aside and showed them my vision of the opening of the conference. I wanted a stage with a catwalk, flashing lights and Thunderstruck blaring overhead. I actually bought an Angus Young costume and dressed up like him to take the stage and loudly welcome everyone to the event.

When I did this, the attendees all had drum sticks that they could pound together to bring the noise to a triumphant crescendo !! By the time I reached the mic to yell out “Hello, Sandusky !! Are you ready to rock ??!!” they were already geeked to get the show started.

Passion is something that we too often suppress when it is something we should express. Being tentative may be safer, but it leads to regret because you miss out on what you wanted to do. I learned long ago what it felt like to work in an environment that sucked the soul out of you. When I left that company, I vowed that my passions would never be suppressed again. . . . And they haven’t since !!

So, I encourage you to get the entire AC/DC catalog. It’s great to rip off the lid of the day and just flat rock !!! Find your 7Songs and keep them on a playlist to remind you that you were created to be vibrant, creative people. It’s who you’re supposed to be.

Let me help you get started – hands in air, head banging, cue the riff . . .

#7Songs – What rules ??

I’m not one to have many regrets about life. It’s been absolutely amazing so far and I’m looking forward to what will happen in the future !! However, everyone has a “I wonder what my life would be if” thought every once in awhile.

I’ve always thought it would have been great to live in the UK !! If I could even narrow that down, I’d live there during my teenage years which happen to have been in the late 70’s because I would have been present during the birth of Punk Rock. I didn’t really listen to punk bands until I heard more of them in college, but once I did one band clearly stood out and stuck – The Clash.

To me they defined the genre and never settled for the status quo. Most people know their two most popular songs, Rock the Casbah and Should I Stay or Should I Go? These are phenomenal, but I think one song stands out above the rest in their impressive catalog.

#5 – White Man in Hammersmith Palais by The Clash
This song has incredible lyrics where Joe Strummer, the front man of the group. questions the other punk rock artists of the time and insinuates that they’re selling out. This epitomizes who The Clash were. They questioned the establishment and self-centeredness of their own generation. They set their own path and didn’t look back. If you had to describe their approach you’d say “what rules” ??

I’m someone who has always looked at life from a slightly different angle. I enjoy running contrary to what people expect. It’s also how I’ve approached HR. I have chosen to do something completely radical . . . . and be positive about people !! You wouldn’t think that this is “punk rock” enough, but it truly is. We’re bombarded with negativity almost every moment of every day. It takes a concerted effort to not bend to the will of others, or the trend that is easy to fall into.

I make sure to listen to The Clash as least once a day to remind me that you can redefine the norms and status quo. This song is a great place to start because once you hear it you won’t get it out of your head, and you’ll be yearning for more.

I hope by sharing this, you step out and question the status quo a bit more than you do now. So, let’s get you started !!