Follow the Flow !!

If you’ve been reading my blog for any time, you know that I’m sort of an HR hippie. I love tie-dye clothes, psychedelic classic rock and  . . . lava lamps. Now, you need to understand that this isn’t a “new” phase for me. These things have been an interest of mine for decades. The difference that exists is that those interests are also something that defines me. I surround myself with these components in my work space, and I am more than willing to share how they keep me at ease.

Over the past few years, I’ve taken the lava lamp mantra out with me during presentations at HR conferences. It’s not uncommon for me to have a lava lamp going while I’m speaking. Most of the time, I give this great piece of lighting away to an attendee. My only requirement if someone wins a lava lamp is that they actually use it in their office. They need to take it to work, turn it on and send me a picture of it in action. What’s so cool about this is that everyone who has won a lava lamp has added it to their office and has sent me a picture as evidence.

Now, the coolest thing is happening in workplaces across the globe. HR peers have been getting their own lava lamps, taking pictures and letting me know about it on Facebook, Linked In and Twitter !! It is surreal. What gets me geeked is what they say for reasons to get a floating masterpiece themselves. The descriptions range from just wanting to have something colorful in their office to stating that it was a reminder to have a positive outlook about HR and towards employees.

The more pictures I’ve received made me think about why this simple object is having such an impact. You see, I think HR people are often tired and on the edge of being burned out. The constant push and pull of interactions with people can drain you. This doesn’t have to be the case, but I get it because it’s something that is a constant force that pushes against me as well.

Since that is the case, I recommend that you “follow the flow” and surround yourself with items that give you a sense of serenity and calmness. I’m sure you have interests that could give you some much needed peace during your hectic day. You need to take care of yourself in the midst of taking care of others. There are far too many folks in HR who skip taking care of themselves. This is a simple release and a small respite. Remember, it’s small things that make a difference far more than massive shifts.

Here’s a picture from my office. When things get pressured and hectic, I look to my right and see the blobs of lava serenely moving up and down and I exhale. For me it’s perfection. (The Magic 8 Balls are a bonus too, but that’s a post for a different time.)

This week take a second and reflect to see if you have something in your work space that provides a healthy diversion to recalibrate your day. It’s simple to do. I, of course, would highly recommend getting your own lava lamp. In this way we can change HR, and the workplace, one lava lamp at a time !!

 

HR Like An Artist !!

I don’t consider myself a “typical” male. I have many interests and enjoy all of them. I can talk sports with the best of them, but I don’t limit myself to sports alone. I love engaging in conversations about politics, religion, music, travel, random trivia and art. I LOVE art in all its forms. Just like most, I have certain preferences and not everything called “art” seems very artistic to me. But, that is the beauty of art. People can take it in and then decide what they like or what they detest. It doesn’t make a piece any more or less art. It allows for a wide variety of perspectives, emotions and opinions.

Lately, I have truly enjoyed watching Genius: Picasso on National Geographic. The series is capturing the eclectic life of Pablo Picasso. He chose to live life to its fullest and was quite a bohemian. His passion to paint consumed him, and it drove him to break more and more boundaries of what was considered to be how art should be expressed. There seems to have been many lives left in his wake as well as many relationships that fueled his passion along the way. His ego never was in doubt, but that meant that few people were very close to him. They were drawn to him because of his fire and charisma, but in the end, he put himself and his art before anything else.

Picasso was no different than us. We all have flaws, and some of them may be detrimental. What does make him different than most was that his drive to never settle runs contrary to how most people experience life. Settling gives us the illusion of comfort. What we miss in seeking a level of comfort is that we end up stagnate and immobile.

One of the reoccurring statements in the TV series is that when pressed about “rules,” Picasso defiantly shouts, “I don’t follow rules !!” This stance intrigues me because much of what is considered traditional HR is built upon the existence of a myriad of rules. In fact, and I know this may be an over generalization, I think most HR people feel they thrive in creating and enforcing rules. There seems to be an allure to make sure that all employees “fit” inside neat, confined systems. Personally, it baffles me.

How can limiting people help them? Please note that I support ideas like structure and framework in the workplace, but I feel that rules constrict. Rules are rarely applied consistently even though we say they are. I think our intentions are good, but our practice is inconsistent. It just is.

I believe in breaking rules and always have. In the show, Picasso says he wants to smash the rules artists were following. He wanted to set a new direction and path. Whenever I mention this to others in HR, I see the gleam in people’s eyes. They want to experience new ways and paths, but the pull of stability often dims the spark that is ignited.

How can we move past the spark? How can we be a profession that frees people to perform, express their creativity and allow them to contribute? The quote listed above is the key. Learn the rules that exist. Know the environment and situation you work within. Then . . . “break them like an artist.”

This coming week be willing to act like Picasso. See what is around you, but refuse to settle for the norms. Quit adding to the stagnation. Instead, be creative yourself to see what can be broken and redone in a new and imaginative way. This week become the artist in HR you were meant to be !!

Rest for Work !!

Have you ever been exhausted? Or, is a better question, when aren’t you exhausted? When you meet most people the two answers that are given most when you ask how someone’s day is going is either “busy” or “tired.” Neither option sounds that appealing. Honestly, if those are your only two options for how life is going, it seems rather limiting as well.

When we talk about rest it’s usually in response to whatever pace we run in our daily activities. We yearn for an escape most likely so we can collapse. Whenever you collapse, you’re overdue for anything you can truly consider as getting rested. It’s as if your body takes over and finally shuts you down just to make sure you don’t hurt yourself.

A trend that still gets attention when it comes to wellness and HR circles is the myth of work/life balance. The premise is that we need to “get away” from work in order to embrace and enjoy life. Again, it’s a means of escape from one facet of our lives. There’s no balance per se. It’s an attempt to make everything feel stable so that work doesn’t swallow us. The intention is good, but the reality is not fully attainable.

It’s odd to me that in order to rest, we’re succumbing to a feeling (or a reality) of not being able to carry on. That seems backwards to me. Now, please note that this is how I’ve approached rest for most of my life. I never feel fully rested because it’s as if I’ve run some sort of endless marathon that I’m going to have to rejoin in a matter of hours.

This past week, I heard a different approach that caught my attention that I’d like for you to consider. What if you rested FOR work ??

If you looked at resting yourself to get prepared for instead of escaping from work, how would that change your day? Seriously. If you were rejuvenated and geeked to jump into what was ahead of you versus falling onto your bed or sofa, think of what you could accomplish !! It would transform you and how you approached your work and those you would encounter.

I am planning on changing how I look at, and obtain, rest for myself. I want to be proactive in all that I do. Getting rest for work will take discipline. Most great things that prepare you for life take discipline and are well worth it. Making time for rest is much more appealing because you know that it’s a more regular part of your day. You wouldn’t settle for what you could get. You’d enjoy the rest that you plan to take.

There’s another reason I’m turning this around in my life. I work with humans every moment of every day. Being rested and ready to meet folks on purpose is a much healthier perspective to have. I believe that HR should be proactive as much as possible. Turning the corner on this facet of life would allow me to be at my best regardless of who I encounter.

What about you? Aren’t you tired of being tired? This week change your pattern and start resting for work !! You’ll be glad you did.

 

What’s Your Name ??

Your name.

Everyone has one. The truth is that it is the most significant identifier of who we are as a human. You prefer to have others know your name when they talk to you because it provides a more personal connection. What is unique about names is that we’re very content knowing our own, and that’s about it.

The majority of people I meet willingly share that they struggle remembering the names of others. I find that fascinating and disappointing at the same time. It’s just not true. You know the names of many, many people, but you just don’t recognize it. For instance, you know the names of your immediate family and all of your extended family. Those names may actually extend for generations, and you’re able to recall every one without any effort.

You also know the names of many celebrities that span over decades. You can name the movies or television shows they were in, or the music that they perform. I’m not a celebrity follower, but I know too many of their names myself because they surround us.

So, you know more names than you think. However, the names of the people who pass by you every day are ignored and we “can’t” remember them because we’re “not good with names.”

I think this should change. People were given a name for a reason. To blow this off due to a lack of interest is not a good excuse. I don’t buy it. Why ?? I am good with names. I think that I have the names of thousands of people in my head at one time or another. Some of this may be that I’ve worked at this, but I think it’s also a set of factors that are a bit different than you may consider.

If you’re in HR, then I think it’s imperative that you are good knowing the names of those in your workplace at a minimum. There shouldn’t be an employee that walks through work anonymously. Now, I understand that we all work in company’s of various sizes. It could be very challenging to know every single team member’s name. That doesn’t make it less important, and I have some ways to make it less daunting.

Know that it matters – As mentioned before, our name is our unique identifier. We were given one on purpose. Remember that because remembering the name of other’s will keep you “others” focused which is the best type of HR.

You remember those who impact you or influence you – Remember the celebrity example? You remember those folks with ease because they’ve left some imprint on you. The same is true with your family and friends. So, treat those you work with with the same weight. Be an influence on them and expect them to be an influence on you.

Invest the time to remember names – It’s not as hard as we make it. The truth is that we’ll put our time towards things that matter to us. People should matter !! Knowing someone by their name will establish the foundation of a relationship. It’s key to all areas of your life.

Don’t be afraid to ask – We seem to hit a wall of fear if we forget someone’s name. The truth is that people are very forgiving if you take the time to ask them again. I’d work on it not happening regularly, but people will give grace since they struggle with remembering names as well.

This week start a new trend and approach. Work on remembering the names of others. It will change your perspective on relationships as well as other’s view of you. By the way, my name’s Steve.

Be Good

A few weeks ago I received a nondescript envelope in the mail at work. It was from my dear friend, Brad Galin, who also happens to be in HR. Inside the envelope was a small scrap of paper and a sticker. The note said, “Saw this and thought of you. – Brad” I looked at the sticker and smiled.

A small black circle with a positive message that fit in the palm of my hand stated – Be Good to People.

It’s a simple message. Four words that carry incredible weight and meaning.

It’s interesting that there’s an entire company that produces this message on a variety of products. (You should check them out !! – Be Good To People) Their whole mission is to spread this message in many different ways so that we all have a visible reminder. They want to see kindness be a constant in our lives and our society.

So, you need to ask – Why would we need this reminder? Unfortunately, it’s necessary because the majority of all that we see, consume and share isn’t good. I appreciate people speaking out against wrongs and ills that are happening in our workplaces, our neighborhoods, our cities and our country. It just seems that we’re constantly in some form of battle that pits people against each other. It’s exhausting and disheartening.

It’s also ironic when someone brings up a simple solution such as “be good,” the response is a scoff and skepticism. Now, THIS is something worth challenging. I’m an unapologetic optimist. I believe in humans without having them go through hoops to earn my trust or respect.

I dig that Brad thought of me when he picked up this sticker. I also appreciate that he took the time to reach out and mail it to me. That personal touch is so meaningful and it gives me a framework on how “being good” can work.

Small actions make a huge impact !!

That’s it. Simple. We need to understand that much of human interaction can turn from ugly to positive by small steps that happen on purpose. When you have that first encounter at work or at home tomorrow to start your week, the move is yours. If you are pressed and you feel your face begin to get flushed with your reactive response, breathe and then be good.

The reason this call to action is so difficult is that we need to fight against our inclination to instantly respond and try to solve something. Being good fights against the urge to react and move on. This call asks you to go against the flow of not only what you’re used to doing, but also how others expect you to respond.

What you need to know is that it’s worth the effort. It doesn’t matter what role you hold in your organization. This call isn’t only for HR because we’re the “people” people. Being good is for all people.

This week look for areas where you can take a small step. When you see that opportunity, take it. It will change your day, your week and possibly your life. Remember this – Be good to people.

What You Say . . .

. . . matters.

This may seem like an overly obvious statement. However, I don’t think we believe it because we are extremely careless with our words – especially when it comes to people.

It’s so easy to get frustrated with how others treat you, or the situations you find yourself in. Words that describe your immediate feeling and reaction usually aren’t positive. And, if we’re honest, we feel “better” by taking a shot at someone else – at least for the moment. I think we do it so often that we’ve become desensitized to how we casually describe others. It has become an expected response . . . and that is sad.

Now, trust me, I’m not pointing fingers at others because this is something that I struggle with as well. It’s not something I’m proud of, and it’s actually something I’m trying to turn around.

People don’t deserve to be called names that belittle or degrade. No one. Ironically, most of this happens out of earshot of the person we’re frustrated with which makes it even more underhanded. On top of this, we unfortunately highlight name calling and labeling almost incessantly in our social media forums or in the news. The juicier, or more vicious, the better. The response to when these barbs are thrown about is to take it up a level so it gets more and more harsh. I want you to note something.

Tearing someone down has NEVER improved a situation or a circumstance. Not once.

I mentioned before that I’m working on this. That’s the truth. I don’t mean this as an HR professional. I mean this as someone who’s a husband, a father, a friend, a volunteer and a co-worker. I observe that the ease at which others are torn down is the norm, and I can’t accept that. I understand people can be frustrating. However, what I think gets completely glossed over is that we’re ALL people !! I have to be someone who frustrates others. So, is the same name calling being used towards me when I push someone’s buttons? Of course it is. Even if I don’t hear it directly.

I had a conversation recently with a friend, and we were letting off some steam about a person who wasn’t in the conversation. It wasn’t positive. I’m embarrassed to say that. Afterwards, I decided that this isn’t how I want to behave. It’s an easy excuse to justify venting, but it isn’t how I want to see others treated, or be treated myself.

I believe we can, and should, be encouragers of people. This doesn’t count just for people we like. It’s for everyone because it honestly doesn’t happen enough. I know that when a kind word is given that is has meaning and impact. It matters. Now, it may be the exception in what people hear, but that means that kind words should be used even more regularly !!

We will all still be critical and there is value in that. We should be critical of the behavior we see and experience and not the person. Most people reading this will not agree with this position because it takes effort and grace to not bundle the human in our response.

This week I’m asking you to join me in changing the tide. Take time to encourage people and lift them up. When you’re faced with the urge to lash out, don’t do it. Breathe and then assess what was said. See how to respond positively and then act. It’s not what we’re used to doing in our interactions with others. What’s cool though is that people won’t be expecting a positive response either.

What we say matters. I choose to encourage and I hope you will as well !!

Be the Change !!

SHRM17 just wrapped up this week in the midst of tropical storm Cindy knocking on the door as everyone finished the conference and headed home. Ironically, the energy that emanated from the event was almost as moving as the storm !! The vibe this year was positive, collaborative and you could feel a sense of togetherness throughout the entire week.

I had a lofty goal to meet every attendee, and I fell a bit short. It wasn’t for a lack of effort though. I was astonished how many people I observed that continued to move from session to session without meeting a single person. Please note that I don’t think people had to meet me, but I did hope that they’d connect with someone !!

I noticed this continued “eyes forward” approach while people were waiting to hear me present. As I saw this, I asked the AV folks to turn up my mic, and I implored the people who were kind enough to choose my session to look up from their phones and meet the people around them. The energy jumped through the roof, and I actually heard from someone later who said, “I appreciated the reminder to meet others because I was caught up in the stuff at work, and lost sight of others sitting right next to me. I liked meeting everyone.”

I may sound like a broken record, but, taking a page from Patrick Lencioni, I will keep reminding people of what seems simple – because people aren’t doing it. I find it so hard to grasp that HR pros almost refuse to meet their peers. They seem so set on getting to a class or training session to wait to see the person at the front of the room speak. I hope that those speakers rock and that you learn from each of them. But, what if the person sitting next to you was facing the same issues and challenges you were, and all you had to do was say, “Hi, my name’s ________. And you are?”

I closed my session this year with my most favorite quote from history. Ghandi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” I don’t mean to overstate, or simplify this, but I truly want to see HR become a global community that is connected though people – on purpose !! I know that if this happens, then the desire for us to look at our field, and the people in it, positively won’t be some aspiration, it will be a fact.

I loved meeting the new folks that I did during SHRM17. The ranged from a room full of students and young professionals on Sunday, to HR folks who were from Cincinnati (where I’m from) whom I hadn’t met in the past, to people from Guam, Australia, Canada, India and Brazil. Each one of these HR pros is now a connection and I hope we stay connected for years to come !! In fact, I wish I had more time reconnecting with some of my friends who I get to see more regularly, but our paths didn’t cross as often as I’d hoped.

I ask those who attended SHRM17 to not let the energy and vibe of such a massive event slip by as we all return to our regular roles and duties. You experienced a shift and not it is up to YOU to be the change in your world. I plan to keep the movement going, and hope you join in !!

Paperback Writer !!

Did you ever know someone who always seemed to have their head in the clouds? They seem to see the world from different angles and make observations that may not seem congruent with others around them. They may be seen as contrarians, but they’re good with it. They don’t seem to fit a category because once you try to put them in one box, they’re off somewhere else.

I’m one of those dreamers. It’s a bit unnerving to even talk about it because I want you to know that this post is much more about ideas and an approach than it is about me as a person. I’ve never felt comfortable when someone self-proclaims something because it brings about skepticism and doubt. We have a “prove it” lens we use, and we honestly wait for people to fail versus expect them to succeed.

For several years, I’ve been fortunate to share my thoughts on this blog, as a guest writer for other HR related blogs and as a speaker. It’s something I truly enjoy and look forward to. It’s nice to have a platform to take the ideas that keep rattling around internally, and get them out to share with others and see if they stick and have merit. There’s a risk in doing this because you need to be willing to be vulnerable and know that there may be those who absolutely disagree with you. That’s cool because dialogue and conversations should be welcome instead of forcing someone to just take your side.

After having many opportunities to share my perspectives and approach on HR, I had some friends say, “You know what? You should write a book and capture this. I’d read it.”

This is very kind and humbling. When I first heard people say this to me, I was intrigued with a mixture of cautious anxiety. All of the voices that pull at you questioning whether you should move ahead or not on a venture like this are powerful and loud. I’ve never been someone who feels comfortable in the status quo or staying stuck in a pattern, but the urge to just continue what I’ve been doing was attractive.

Each week I go to a local haunt called JTaps which is close to where I work. It’s great because there are not many people there and you can get away from the buzz and pace of the world and the workplace to think. I opened a journal and started writing down themes, ideas and thoughts. One week I took my laptop, opened a Word document, looked at my journal, ordered a Gyro, chips and a Diet Coke and started typing on a blank page.

After awhile, words became paragraphs and paragraphs became chapters. I had the beginnings of a book and decided to share it with a few close friends to see what they thought. They liked what they saw and so I reached out to see if someone would consider publishing it. As most of you know, I’ve been active with SHRM for almost 20 years as a volunteer leader. I mentioned that I was trying to create a book about HR and they asked to see it and then put together a proposal for them to consider.

(Here’s the exciting bit . . . .)

They chose to publish the book and this week at the SHRM Annual Conference in New Orleans, my book – HR on Purpose !! – launches.

It’s so surreal and I’m so geeked that I can hardly contain myself !! The book looks at HR from a positive viewpoint and gives you examples, real-world stories from the trenches and encourages people to own and thrive in human resources.

The book captures the belief that I have, and live, that people have value and that HR is the best profession that anyone could ever be in. It shows how you can enjoy HR . . . on purpose !!

I’ve shared before that I’m a music freak. I have some playing now even as I type this. This week, I get to live out one of the songs from my fave group, The Beatles, because now I’m a paperback writer !!

I’d be geeked if you took the time to check out my book, and I hope you enjoy it and enjoy HR even more !!


The Beatles Paperback Writer Rain 1966 by moss3516

Jay.

This past week I lost a dear friend. His name is Jay.

His passing wasn’t expected. He was driving home after work when debris came through his windshield and killed him instantly. The news was as staggering as the way he passed. It doesn’t seem possible that a peer is gone. Life isn’t supposed to progress this way. We had hoped to grow old together and spend time with our families, children and (hopefully) grandchildren.

Fortunately, I was able to travel out of town to participate in his visitation and funeral service. That meant the world to me because Jay was one of my closest friends on the planet. I was one of the people asked to share at his service and it was the most challenging speech I’ve ever given. I’ve been fortunate to speak in front of thousands of people at a time, and that was easier than this.

When I was putting my remarks together, there were tears mixed with laughter. Jay was one of the smartest people I’ve every known – literally. He was a PhD scientist who did research to try to help cure cancer. He was a model husband and father who loved them with his life, his time and his focus. He only ever said kind and positive things about them. Jay and I could “nerd out” together while enjoying conversations ranging from the genius of Monty Python to the deep meaning of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and movies.

Our families literally grew up together through the birth of our kids until now some 20+ years. We’ve laughed together, worshiped together, camped together and shared many other experiences. I saw Jay every week for the 13 years we lived in the same city. His job took him to Illinois and finally Wisconsin, but we never grew apart.

The greatest thing I can share about Jay is that he made an eternal impact on my life. Now that he’s gone, I feel that impact even more. Jay literally took in every aspect of life. He didn’t miss a thing. He was very observant and it was a joy to be with him on hikes out on a trail because you’d experience the fullness of nature instead of hurrying to get your number of steps in.

Jay also did this with the people in his life. He never missed a person and made sure to get to know you and interact with you. Ironically, he was a quiet, humble man who would meet you with ease versus bravado. He listened to your stories and laughed often !!

His life is a reminder and an example for me and for others. In today’s world everyone seems to be consumed with politics and taking sides or the misadventures of celebrities we will probably never meet in person. I would challenge you to get out of these constant distractions and look at the people you encounter every. day.

That is where we can leave a mark. You see, you leave an impact every time to you interact with others. You just need to choose if that will be a positive impact or a negative one. Either way, it will happen. I choose to be like Jay and pour into the lives of all the people who cross my path. Intentionally meeting them and seeing who they are and what their life is like. It matters.

One of the final experiences I had in person with Jay that left an impact on us both was seeing U2 live in Chicago at Soldier’s Field with two more best friends. We took in every note and sang every lyric. It was another lifelong memory as every one was with Jay. He loved U2 just as we all did, and still do.

I’ll leave you with one of their songs, Grace, which has a lyric which says “Grace finds goodness in everything.”

That was Jay. I loved my friend and miss him immensely. I know we’ll see each other again some day, and it will be just as wonderful as it has been for all these years.

Not Sorry

The title of this post is not something you’d typically see from an HR blog. It comes from a recent lunch I had with a friend. She was talking about working with a new co-worker who said, “I’m sorry . . .” before every response she gave in regards to her work. I asked her how she was trying to change this behavior, and she calmly responded, “I’m beating the sorry out of her !!” I almost spit out my water with laughter. What a great saying.

Please don’t mistake this as asking people to not show empathy in how they practice HR. Empathy is an essential skill we all need, but apologizing all the time isn’t. When I think about how I hear HR peers talk about what they do, “I’m sorry” (or something like that) is usually the lead in phrase. Have you heard (or said) these?

“I’m sorry that our benefit costs are going up . . .”

“I’m sorry that wages are being frozen this year . . .”

“I’m sorry that your supervisor is difficult to work with . . .”

You could continue this list of apologetic phrases for hours. I understand that part of our role is delivering difficult news and/or dealing with challenging employee relations situations. However, we don’t have to state how sorry we are to try and ease into how things are occurring. It seems trite, defensive and lacking confidence. We may think we’re showing a softer side, but if you listen to it from the receiver side of the interaction, it sounds wishy-washy.

One of the marks against our profession is that people see us as indecisive within organizations. We may be great “support” functions, but we aren’t viewed as others are when it comes to leadership. I’m tired of seeing this happen. It also doesn’t make sense that downplaying who we are and what we do is a position that should ever be taken. We can’t just hope that someone will bestow the mantle of leadership upon us.

Leadership takes action and being intentional. That doesn’t mean you need to be a jerk or some hard head in order to he heard and taken seriously. However, we can’t keep coming in with an apology either. The shift that is needed isn’t difficult to adopt, but it does take discipline and a willingness to step forward in confidence in the decisions for which you are responsible.

The two best ways to stop apologizing include your approach and the use of context. Approach is something that you control personally. How you assess a situation, how you react and who you involve are factors with every interaction. We should address people who are involved in HR related situations directly and not in hallway gossip. Being direct (with empathy) is what employees would love to see on a regular basis.

The other aspect of approach is context. “Because that’s the policy” is not context, it’s a crutch. It may not feel great to give the hard answer on the reality of circumstances, but it’s needed. Know this – if you give up being the person who brings context to employee relations, then someone else will. It will most likely be their version of context, and it won’t be the truth. We can’t afford to keep forfeiting an area of culture which we should own and lead.

This week stop apologizing when you start talking. State what you want to say and move forward. People may be shocked at first that HR is using a new approach. Trust me though that they’ll appreciate this new HR so much more than what had been there before !!