The Case for Balance

The afternoon started well. My wife and I were excited to get out of the house and head to downtown and meander around Oktoberfest Zinzinnati. We have gone to the festival for decades. It’s the second-largest Oktoberfest in the world next to Munich !! The weather was magnificent. The skies were bright blue with some wispy clouds here and there. Mostly we had bright sunshine lighting the way.

We parked several blocks away and were making our way to the actual festival surrounded by people also heading in the same direction. We moved with ease for about four blocks until we passed the official area sectioned off for the event. The flow came to an abrupt halt and we found ourselves shoulder to shoulder with thousands of strangers all taking in the sights, sounds, and smells of the gathering celebrating German heritage.

I was IN my element. Debbie was not. Whenever I can immerse myself in the midst of a giant throng of people, I feel at ease. It helps that I’m a tall person who can easily see above the crowd and make out where I can go. My wife is taller than average, so that isn’t an issue. She often says she can spot me as I make my way around so she rarely feels lost.

We attempted to make the same movements everyone else was trying to make all at the same time. You try to take in the different food and drink booths to both see what they’re offering and try to decide what you’d like to purchase. Off of the primary street of 5th Avenue are side streets also filled with booths, bands, and places to sit and eat. Remember, there are literally thousands of people in this relatively small six to eight-block area. This is not typically what happens in downtown Cincinnati. We’re not Manhattan.

I love taking in the energy, listening to the various conversations, and throwing myself deeply into one of my favorite activities – people-watching. I can lose myself in trying to take in every moment and interaction. It’s like an endless funnel of stimulation. My wife enjoys the same thing . . . for awhile.

She loves going to events and prefers we have a plan and a purpose while going. She wants to see everything and also make sure we actually eat and drink. Those are critical, but she needs to pull me out of the “people cloud” to keep me focused to make sure those activities actually occur. I would be content just wandering and watching. She is also very aware of her environment and reminds me to look down so I don’t miss steps, weave into oncoming traffic, or run into other people.

We did make our way through the mass of humanity as we went down one side of the line of booths. We also made some stops to get those essential sustenance items including sausages, adult beverages, and the must-have cream puff !! Fortunately, we also had an oasis provided by the Chamber of Commerce. We could step away from the melee and enjoy some shade and have a place to rest and sit.

After we had a respite in our oasis, I felt the urge to jump back out into the fray. We just participated in the World’s Largest Chicken Dance (it’s a mandatory experience of Oktoberfest), and my wife was hesitant but obliged. We were going to get a few other items to eat and drink. What we didn’t count on was that the crowd had multiplied. It seemed like it had tripled at least.

It was a bit difficult working our way through the horde when we first arrived. Now, it was moving at a snail’s pace. You were lucky if you happened to get into a stream of people who weren’t standing in lines. We had gone about a block when I saw the “look” from my wife. We moved off to the side and I asked if she wanted to head back to our oasis while I went back into the swarm of humans.

She seemed relieved and said she would. I wasn’t upset or disappointed. We know how each other ticks. We’ve been in each other’s lives for 35+ years and we’ve learned a very important factor.

We balance each other.

She is more introspective while I’m someone who thrives by being surrounded by others. It’s more than being extroverted or introverted. Those are facts and that’s one of the many facets that makes us who we are. Instead of trying to shape one another into our particular approach to life, we have a natural push and pull that meets in the middle more often than not.

Our relationship is how I wish all relationships would work – especially in the workplace. Instead of everyone trying to make others assimilate to their own approach, we should allow for balance. We need to quit getting frustrated when others aren’t like us and come to terms that we will never be alike. We shouldn’t be. There’s far more value to each person living as who they are.

This week look for balance in the interactions you encounter. You’ll find that it’s much healthier when you do !!

A Blank Page

I remember having a conversation over 15 years ago with a friend who encouraged me to take my HR Net forum which was driven by emails and develop a thing called a “blog.” I researched what he suggested and felt my approach was fine, so I didn’t pursue it. Little did I know that four years later I would have a blog myself that I’ve enjoyed writing for 11+ years now.

My wife and I were driving back today from a gathering with family friends after watching my beloved Cincinnati Bengals open the 2023-24 NFL season poorly. She asked, “Are you going to write something tonight?” I responded, “I’m not sure what to say.” That was the truth. No keen idea came to mind. Work has been full lately with the normal challenges one faces day to day. Nothing seemed to stand out or felt significant. I hadn’t had any “aha” experiences that jostled any creative juices.

I faced a blank page.

When you write on a regular basis, a blank page can be either a friend or an enemy. You want to share something that is inspirational, life-changing, and memorable. However, you see an open white page daring you to type the first word. It can make you freeze, halt, and even become discouraged. It’s more than having writer’s block. It’s as if the page stares back at you mockingly knowing it’s going to win. Keeping you silent will give the page another victory and keep any form, thought, notion, or idea locked away yet again. Life continues its normal set of interactions. Nothing fresh is shared. Ugh.

However, a blank page is also an opportunity to just toss something out to be considered. It may not necessarily be a new idea or something earth-shattering. But, once it’s typed it can be read. Once it’s read, it can cause whoever reads it to take it in, question it, agree with what’s presented, or challenge it. The thoughts are no longer hidden or in the shadows. They’re in the open and invite others in.

If we take a blank page as something to work from and create, then we at least have the chance to alter the norm. We give room for the work we do to be altered, tweaked, improved, or dismantled. Getting ideas out into an open forum calls people to give their attention and peak their interest. Filling a blank page may give people the impetus to no longer be stuck, stagnant, or mired in inertia.

I encourage you to not dread the blank pages you face. Instead, see them as a catalyst to unleash what’s flowing in your mind. Take the countless thoughts that pull you in so many ways and get them down on paper or on a screen. If you choose to share them, great. If you don’t, at least they get out and give you space to let the other gems floating in the background a chance to move up and get your attention.

A blank page is a good thing. You never know what is waiting to come forth. It may change the world !!

Wein oder Wasser ??

Next year is a milestone year for my wife and I. We will be celebrating our 35th wedding anniversary and we’re both also turning 60 years old. I’m so fortunate that she said she’d marry me decades ago when I proposed to her at the Cincinnati Zoo (where we first met.)

Since this is momentous for both of us, we’re looking into an adventure to mark these passages in time and our lives together. We’re considering taking a Viking River Cruise that will take us through Hungary, Austria, Germany, and the Netherlands. It’s fascinating to plan and we both already feel the anticipation growing. To prepare, Debbie challenged me to refresh and relearn how to read and speak German.

I have picked up the gauntlet and have started doing daily language lessons using the Duolingo app on my phone. I’m a little over a week in and I love it !! I know I could use Google Translate or some foreign language AI bot instead, but that seems like an easy out.

I wanted to accept her suggestion for many reasons. The first is that it would be cool to be conversant and understand the language and signage we’d encounter throughout the majority of our trip. Secondly, I took German for one year in college and it was wonderful. My heritage is a mix of German on my mother’s side and Irish on my father’s side. Also, I was born in Nuremberg, West Germany (that’s what it was called back then) on an Army base where my father was stationed. Finally, one of the stops on the trip is Nuremberg. To be able to speak to local people in the city of my birth would be amazing !!

The other benefit of jumping into learning a second language is the reality that there are untold advantages to being a person who is constantly learning. I’ve always been a curious person who is more willing to take risks than others. I get itchy if I fall into too many predictable patterns in life. There is always something you can learn. There is no possible way you can get to a point in life where you know everything that you need to know. Something new is just around the corner if we’re willing to look for it.

Back in the 1990’s and 2000’s, there was a concerted effort for people to become “Lifelong Learners.” I remember blog post after blog post on the topic. I probably wrote one or two of them myself. It’s a great aspiration but many of us learn only when told to for a reason. The focus at work is production and that’s it. The trend has shifted to produce, produce, produce, and then fix mistakes when they occur (which they will). Hitting our numbers, driving results, analyzing data, and then coming up with methods to get them consistently better is the message of the day.

I don’t think learning and performing are separate functions. Far from it. They are intertwined. We would perform far better and consistently if we took the time to learn first. We have the time. We just choose to blow through it because of the incessant pressure to produce at all costs. This is a miss. A big miss.

As HR pros, we should be the ones pulling the brake inside our organizations. We should always take the position of being intentional in having learning and development become the fabric of our company culture. These efforts shouldn’t be a program or a reactive response to another inane performance review list of goals.

Learning, like work, should be continuous. It should seamlessly flow and be encouraged to pursue so our folks, as well as us, don’t get stagnant and stuck in our ways.

This week, see where learning can occur for yourself and others, and then jump in. I’ll be continuing my German lessons while looking for other opportunities myself. I’m geeked to do this and I hope you are too !!

(BTW – “Geeked” is universal and the same in every language – as it should be.)

The Reality of Rest

If you’ve been following this blog for any amount of time, you know I’m a person who is on the go most of the time. Activity fills my bucket. I have a driving urge that my next experience is going to be an adventure !! I’m not talking about something grandiose either. Meeting a unique person in a shop in a small town. Having an encounter with a stranger that turns out to be unexpected and interesting. Working on our daughter’s house to repair, paint and give it her touch. The list can be endless.

I eagerly enter each day with anticipation that something amazing is sure to occur. I know. This sounds naive and superficial. I can assure you it’s not. Ever since I can remember, I have seen life as robust with opportunities to look around the next corner at something completely new. Always being on the go has a price though . . .

I’m not good at resting. Never have been. This endless yearning of wonderment runs counter to slowing down even for a moment. I tend to collapse even after a full day at work. The energy I try to pour into others while also getting them to see life from a brighter perspective is exhausting. I’m not complaining. I’d have it no other way. I just want you to know that the science of expending energy affects me greatly as I’m sure it does you.

Most people I know collapse or burst. They either run themselves into the ground with countless tasks they attack and at times accomplish. Or, they sprint as if there is no end to a race and then explode emotionally. This results in a few days off either from your body slowing you down because you won’t pay attention or a mini vacation just to remove yourself from the hectic pace.

Bursting is as unhealthy as collapsing. We convince ourselves this isn’t the case and we tell ourselves that our company, department, project, etc. would surely fail if we weren’t constantly diligent and present. I fully believe in self-worth and self-assuredness in life. However, if we delude ourselves into feeling we are indescribably valuable, then we lack the most important “self” – self-awareness.

This weekend, I decided to be intentional and embrace the reality of rest. I put down my phone, went out with my wife and friends to music trivia and some drinks, and even slept in on Saturday morning !! All day Saturday, I limited my activity and drive to always do something. That resulted in watching a movie, getting some ice cream after making dinner in our Instant Pot, and even squeezing in a nap. Just one day of slowing down helped me mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Today I went to church, washed our cars, and sat down to write this blog. Limiting my activity didn’t hurt one bit and as far as I can tell, the world is still spinning. I was on social media but barely. Later, I plan to pick up a book and read or even start a puzzle without a screen in sight.

People are still milling around and falling into the trap that hustling and running is a needed component in today’s society while I chose to rest. We can’t advance the cause of well-being if we don’t take care of ourselves. Rest is needed SO we can get back in, stay active and thrive.

This week break the pattern of collapsing or bursting. Encourage others to do the same throughout your family and your workplace. Build in rest. When you do, you’ll see you actually have more energy and time than you expected !!

Spread the Word !! – July #HRCarnival

We seem to be in a funky pattern when it comes to Social Media. There are people who love platforms while others can’t stand them. New platforms arrive and others diminish. This fluctuation has caused a malaise that honestly isn’t warranted.

The primary function and purpose of Social Media is to communicate and share ideas !! This has been the purpose since its inception even though many have tried to either dampen it or make it argumentative.

The Carnival of HR (#HRCarnival on Twitter) has always been a fortress that has survived storm after storm over the years. I was asked if I’d host this month’s Carnival and I jumped at the chance. It’s an opportunity to rekindle the flame of great content and spread the word of HR practitioners from around the globe. When I put the call out for posts, the response was massive !! I dropped a spark on multiple platforms to show we can continue to break through the darkness and bring light to the profession and the industry.

Listed below are the twenty-four entries I received !! It’s a mix of veteran bloggers and new voices. I made sure to share which corner of the world each post came from. Make sure to check out each one and connect with the authors. Get ready, here we go . . . time to spread the word !!

Jennifer McClure from Cincinnati, Ohio takes a solid look at the ever-evolving field of leadership with 10 Critical Focus Areas for Leadership Success in the Future of Work.

Janine Ramirez from San Sebastian, Spain shares her new HR podcast – The Employee (EX) Experience.

Brent Morrell from Indianapolis, Indiana has great reflections about being an HR practitioner in his post – 5 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Before I Started in HR.

Erin McCune of Performica in Santa Cruz, California shares a blog authored by Ellen Raim looking at – Fraying Ties: Erosion of the Employee Ecosystem and the Push to Return to the Office.

Kat Kibben from Raleigh Durham, North Carolina penned a great read on – Employee Resource Groups: Impact Over Everything.

Paul LaLonde hails from Chicago, Illinois and wrote this after being inspired by a Netflix documentary – The Stoicism of Arnold Schwarzenegger: What Mr. Olympia Can Teach HR.

Alex Killick from Edinburgh, Scotland grounds us with his post – Leading Kind’s Monday Motivation: Find the Kind Minds.

John Baldino from Vero Beach, Florida makes a strong argument about the value of communicating with candidates during the hiring process in his post – One Week.

Robin Schooling from Baton Rouge, Louisiana captures an essential workplace relationship in her piece – The HR and Hiring Manager Partnership.

Dorothy Dalton from Brussels, Belgium shares great insight in her post – Biases in Interview Scheduling.

Molly Weaver from Overland Park, Kansas gives us a different approach in her post – The Case for Providing Interview Questions to Candidates in Advance.

Heather Younger from Denver, Colorado shares some video coaching advice on – How to Give Constructive Feedback to Managers.

Kayla Moncayo from Austin, Texas has a compelling post with – Performer vs. People Manager.

Prasad Kurian from Pune, India offers a deep thinking post with – Simplicity @ the Other Side of Complexity.

Anthony Paradiso from Bergan County, New Jersey shares a full video webinar on a Pride Webcast.

Matt Meadows from Boca Raton, Florida goes against the grain with his blog – What People Get Wrong with Performance Reviews.

Michelle Harte from Birmingham, England gives us a Taylor Swift-inspired post – Rooting for (the Anithero).

Daphne Kakonge from Kampala, Uganda asks a timely question – Is Your Workplace Ready for Gen Z?

David Hayden from Doncaster, England shares the connection between the joy of a hobby of his and his work – Parkrun and Learning.

Ken Meyer from The Bronx, New York shares – The Importance of Explicit Communication.

John Bernatovicz from Akron, Ohio is observational astute when he shares – Things are Just Flat Out Weird Right Now.

Gary Butterfield from Leeds, England ties two important workplace facets naturally together in his post – Unlock Employee Engagement with Wellbeing Conversations.

Kyle Roed from Cedar Falls, Iowa reminded me of his fabulous podcast – Rebel HR. (You knew this had to be added !!)

Karin Hurt shares a great “how-to” post with – How to Create a More Innovative Learning Culture

Scott Leiper from Ayr, Scotland closes out the Carnival in his usual creative way with – Squiggly Shoogle.

Hope you enjoyed this month’s installation of the #HRCarnival. Remember blogs, podcasts, webinars, and platforms are still alive and thriving. It’s up to all of us to continue to spread the word !!

Stop Catastrophizing !!

I’ve mentioned before that my wife and I are empty nesters. We enjoy this stage in our lives because it’s given us the freedom to do more things as a couple while also staying connected to our kids. Looking back over the years, we made sure to invest time and attention in each of our kids knowing someday we’d be living in different places.

What’s ironic though is that when we get a phone call from Josh or Melanie, our first thought isn’t positive. When their name pops up on the screen, our minds automatically come up with a multitude of potential situations. Each one is worse than the prior one. You can feel your pulse and blood pressure elevate just a bit and you clench as you hit the “answer” button. Nine times out of ten the conversation is positive and even a bit benign. They’re just checking in.

All of the years of investing time in having relationships with our kids have paid off. That doesn’t change the sinking feeling of a potential catastrophe looming around the corner. Now, you need to take note that we don’t want something horrible to happen when we chat. It’s the last thing we’d want. So, why do we catastrophize something that should be positive? How would we respond if the call wasn’t positive and something dire was truly facing our kids?

Humans are unfortunately built to assume the worst is possible. It doesn’t matter if it’s a parent/child interaction or a work encounter. Our minds jump to a catastrophic level just in case something does present itself in the worst possible way. How sad is that? We’ve become so used to catastrophizing the potential outcome of meeting with others that it’s become our norm. That just shouldn’t be the case.

What steps could we take to not expect the worst is inevitably going to occur? The first thing is to intentionally have the discipline to see the positive aspect of every engagement we have with others. Develop a mindset that the best is going to occur. This simple step of going into conversations expecting something positive is a good start.

Secondly, believe that people have good intentions first. Understand that others want to avoid catastrophic thinking just as much as you do. Even if you’re the only one assuming positive intent, it’s better than both parties assuming the worst.

Finally, live in the moment. I don’t mean to belittle the future. Not in the least. I am a person who eagerly looks forward expecting good things. Being in the moment though allows you to focus on what’s in front of you. It also keeps you in the best frame of mind if something is bad or catastrophic. As humans, we respond when a crisis is upon us better than we do facing our regular day-to-day patterns.

We shouldn’t need our circumstances to hit a crisis level in order for us to act. It’s not healthy or sustainable. Think about it for a moment. If we only feel comfortable acting when the worst truly is what we’re facing, then we’re living with a constant catastrophic mindset !!

This week, make the change to be positive, and believe the best is going to happen with every conversation you have with every person that crosses your path. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how easily your day goes by with few bumps when fewer negative thoughts take up space. Stop catastrophizing and expect the best !!

Welcome to My Hotel !!

Last year, my wife and I traveled to Houston, Texas. It was our first time there and I was speaking to an HR team from a construction firm. It was a small event in a cool, industrial warehouse that was converted into a meeting space. We had a great time and got solid recommendations of where to go and where to eat from the local folks. We gathered all our belongings and traveled less than a mile to our hotel. We added a few days of PTO to extend our stay and visit the city.

As we wheeled our suitcases down the hall, we turned the corner and I heard a voice jubilantly exclaim – “Welcome to my hotel !!”

I perked up immediately and sauntered up to the hotel check-in counter when the clerk cheerfully said, “Welcome to my hotel. I’m Yolanda. Are you here to check in?” I was floored by her exuberance and replied, “Why, yes we are !!” My wife rolled her eyes a bit and whispered, “That’s what she’s told to say,” and I’m sure she was. That didn’t deter my excitement.

Yolanda went on to tell us about the hotel’s amenities and offered to be available for us whenever we needed it. I was so geeked by her approach and thought she went above and beyond in showing her hospitality. My wife and I went out to be tourists and as we strolled back into the lobby hours later, we heard Yolanda say, “Hi there Mr. and Mrs. Browne !! How was your time out in my city?” I was giddy once again. “We had a great time Yolanda !! Thanks for asking.” One thing to note – The lobby was teeming with people moving back and forth involved in various things, and yet Yolanda took the time to check on us in the midst of this hurried activity.

On the day we were going to leave to fly back to Ohio three days later, I was having problems getting our boarding passes to load on my phone. I decided to go down to the lobby and try out the “business center.” It didn’t work because I’m sure it’s overused. I decided to go to the front desk and ask for help and I heard, “Hello, Mr. Browne. Can I help you?” You guessed it. Yolanda was manning her post yet again. She was so helpful and we were able to get checked into our flight and print our boarding passes.

While I was spending more time with her, I was filled with curiosity. I asked her about her approach and her joy toward the guests of the hotel. She brimmed with delight and shared she had been a front desk clerk for 20 years and she couldn’t be more proud of the work she did and the place she worked. I told her I was in HR and I was so moved by our experience and I knew she offered this same level of engagement and service to everyone she encountered.

This made such an impression on me that I incorporated our experience with her in one of the presentations I give at conferences and I end by asking – “Is this how YOU view your job in HR ??” The response is a mix of “not really” or “I wish I did.”

I first used the story while speaking at the SHRM Annual Conference in New Orleans in 2022. After the presentation, someone came up to me at the front of the stage and pulled me to the side. “Hi, my name is Kimberly. Did you stay at the Embassy Suites while you were in Houston?” I told her I did and then she floored me.

“I work with Yolanda !! My team and I heard your story and we’ve been texting her during your speech to tell her that you were bursting with elation as you told this room filled with thousands of people all about her.” I burst into tears. I couldn’t believe it. We hugged and I asked Kimberly to tell Yolanda thank you for letting me share our time with her with others.

A few weeks passed, and Kimberly sent me a picture through Linked In. Here’s what I received. That’s Kimberly on the left and Yolanda on the right.

I couldn’t believe it !! I added this picture at the end of my presentation and have been fortunate to share it many more times. At SHRM23 this year in Las Vegas, I shared about Yolanda again, and after the presentation, as I was signing books at the SHRM bookstore, another person approached me. “Hi there. I’m Jamie and I work with Yolanda. Thank you so much for continuing to share about her. I wanted to get her one of your books so she had a note from you.” I started weeping again. I couldn’t grasp what continued to happen.

This past week I spoke at the HRUnite! conference in Frankenmuth, Michigan. It was an amazing smaller HR conference which was more intimate than others I’ve been fortunate to speak at. After I presented, I received a note from Kimberly through Linked In. She said, “I thought you’d like to see this . . .”

I read the post from Avion Hospitality and the tears began to flow again. You see, Yolanda was recognized at her national conference. They showed me speaking on the stage using the closing slide I’ve been using showing the picture of Kimberly and Yolanda. They said –

“For the second year in a row, Yolanda Johnson was highlighted at the National Society for Human Resource Conference and shown on stage as an example of finding a company and career you love. Yolanda is Guest Services Manager at Embassy Suites Energy Corridor and clearly had a positive impact on this guest. Congratulations, Yolanda, on succeeding in your quest to welcome every guest and make them feel like family. We should all be so lucky to encounter your energy and enjoy our work as much as you.”

I left a comment on the post and the Embassy Suites account wrote me back. Yolanda’s story just keeps going on and on.

So, I’ll ask again. Is this how you view what YOU do? If not, why not? Yolanda has chosen to bring her whole being to all she does and her story is now touching people around the globe. May we all learn from her and change how we view our jobs. You never know who will tell your story to others !!

Paperback Writer !!

Six years ago I had a blog post with this same title because I was sharing the news that I had written a book about HR called HR on Purpose !! I was not sure what would happen by taking the time to put down my thoughts about the profession I love. The goal back then was to put something out in the industry that ran against the grain of what had been the tenor of people trying to tear down HR. It has been very successful and I’ve heard from people all over the globe who’ve read it. It was humbling, to say the least.

I was glad to see that a message of positivity and encouragement had made its way out to try to stem the negativity that seemed so prevalent. I felt I had accomplished what I had intended and I’d be done with the book business. Three years passed by and my publisher dropped me an email and asked – “Do you think you have another book in you?” I hadn’t given it much thought, but I was wondering if I could do it again. In the first book, I wanted to rally my peers to own who we are and what we do. Be proud of being an HR practitioner. I felt led to lay out an approach to show how HR people can be leaders in what we do. I pulled out my laptop and started writing to see what would happen. A month and a half later, I had put together book number two – HR Rising !! It felt good to keep writing.

When my second book was to be published, the world shut down. We all had far more important things to focus on. I was pleased to see how the world pulled together for a time in order to survive. I also loved how organizations finally woke up to the reality that people are essential. It’s a shame we needed a global crisis for this to be known. HR professionals were asked to step up and lead . . . and they did. HR showed it should be put into a leadership role.

As we continued to try to navigate our way through the pandemic, more and more uncertainty hit everyone like never-ending waves constantly crashing against a beach. I was touched by the wonderful folks I work with who made a giant poster of my second book and they all signed it. To be acknowledged and recognized in this way was so touching. It hangs in my office to this day. Two books. I was good with this.

We had a major leadership shift change at work occur at the end of 2020 which was completely unexpected. My boss, our COO, passed away from a heart attack. He had been with the company for only 47 years. We went through a full reset and my role changed considerably. As we worked our way through new methods and approaches, I was in several meetings where I shared many of the people-centric ideas I had written about more openly. I also threw out new ideas because they seemed to fit.

During one of these meetings, Michael, our CEO, quipped, “Is this going to be in your next book?” I was stunned. He was serious. I asked just to double-check and he really wanted me to do it.

So, six years after attempting to capture my thoughts about HR, I have written book number three – HR Unleashed !! The thought behind this book is to encourage HR not to retreat to the practices of how we had been doing HR before the pandemic. We need to move forward and drive organizations to be intentionally people first. The book is filled with stories and examples of how you can make this happen. I believe companies that make this come to life will remain relevant. It’s the key for HR to stay ahead of the future.

This book was published at the SHRM Annual Conference just as my prior two books were. I’m floored by the response so far and grateful for the opportunity to get another dose of positivity to elevate HR out into the world. I’ve enjoyed being a paperback writer. We’ll see where things go from here . . .

You Had Me At “Hello” !!

I’m just now recovering from an amazing time at SHRM23 !! When you see 25,000 people come together for a common experience, it can wear you out. As a self-avowed full-on extrovert, I even needed time to decompress and get back to my normal pattern of life. When it comes to conferencing, I follow the model of getting up for the early bird sessions and then going all out until we close out late at night with friends somewhere socially.

I love it. I get a bit anxious and distracted a few days before the conference occurs because I can’t wait to jump in and fully immerse myself in the entire experience. I had several meaningful experiences throughout the week and each of them involved an encounter with another HR peer. Yes, I enjoyed the sessions, speakers, and seeing Janet Jackson crush it !! But the one-on-one conversations have the most meaning and impact for me.

I was fortunate to have a few significant things happen personally which opened the door for more of these wonderful, emotional conversations. I was chosen to speak at two Mega Sessions in a room I was told sat 5,000 !! That’s flat overwhelming. When you walk into the room and can’t quite make out the stage at the front, it’s daunting and exhilarating. The other significant occurrence was the release of my 3rd HR book called – HR Unleashed !! (I’ll cover this next week)

When I’m standing on the stage of my first session, I felt compelled to challenge the attendees. This may be a risky endeavor, but what I asked was attinable for everyone there. You see, the 25,000 people moving to and fro throughout the convention center are rarely interacting with each other. They just don’t notice it. Everyone is trying to get into a session before it fills up or they may be checking out a vendor in the Expo Hall. There may even be taking a personal break just to pause and breathe. Most of the actions are focused just on themselves, and I see this sea of humanity a bit differently.

Each person you pass is an opportunity to greet and wish them a great day. Every. Person. So, I challenged the attendees to do just that. I said, “It will be great if you all choose to do this because it will freak out the people who didn’t come to this session !!” People giggle when they think about this, and then the most astonishing thing happens. After the session and throughout the rest of the conference, there are now thousands (literally) of people who are making sure to greet others. They squeal if I pass by and they’ll scream, “Hey Steve !!” and I just love it. Something so simple can completely alter the culture of an event.

After the conference, an HR peer of mine, Travis from Utah, floored me with his story about saying “Hello !!” to someone. Take a look . . .

“Steve,

Thank you for your email newsletters and all of your thought leadership on all things HR.  I attended two of your sessions at the conference and thoroughly enjoyed them both.  I almost bumped into you at the Expo, you were literally right behind me when I stopped to turn around and I was going to thank you for something I heard in your first session, but you were busy talking to someone else, so I didn’t want to interrupt you.

But this is was I was going to say . . . when you talked about inclusivity, talking to others, saying hello, smiling at them, etc.  It seemed like such a simple thing, but something that we aren’t always good at as human beings.  I was inspired to be better at this. 

That night, I was in line for dinner and everyone was hungry and grumpy and seemed like they were more interested in guarding their position in line than anything else in the moment.  I noticed the gentleman in front of me had his credentials still around his neck- another thing I enjoyed you talking about in your second session.  (NOTE: I remind people to take off their conference badge once they leave the event. No need to wear it wandering through Las Vegas !!)

I thought of your encouragement to smile at others and talk to them, so I asked him how his conference was going so far.  He looked suspiciously at me like I was digging into something far too personal for him to reveal in that moment.  I assured him I was in Vegas for the same reason and told him about my conference experience so far.  I asked where he came in from and he told me Austin, Texas.  I told him about my home town of St. George, Utah and how this was my 5th conference and asked how many he had attended.  He told me it was his first. 

We talked the rest of the time in line which was far longer than I would have hoped, but he totally opened up and we hit it off.  He asked if I was eating there and if he could join me.  We were both in town solo, so I was grateful for the company.  We talked over dinner and the NBA championship game that was on in the background (and that we hardly noticed) for nearly three hours. 

We had tons in common and became instant friends.  I now have a good friend and colleague in Austin.  Or, as I told my wife that night on the phone, a new HR BFF.  Thank you again for what you spoke on and for getting us all out of our comfort zones when the expected norm is not very social or beneficial to our mental health.  I have committed to live this way of smiling more at others and getting to know anyone who’s willing to also give of themselves.  That’s what HR is all about. 

YOU sir, are AWESOME !!  Keep up the great work.  I look forward to attending more of your sessions.”

I asked Travis if it was okay to share his story and he was geeked to have it go out to others. You see, something so simple as breaking out of our tendency to run through life at a breakneck speed can change a relationship.

This week, slow down and say, “Hello !!” to others and mean it. You’ll find that you’ve been surrounded by great humans this entire time. It works and you can do it !!

Where Are You From ??

I am fortunate to travel to HR events all over the place. When I do that, I also get to do my favorite thing – meet people !! Meeting people has always come naturally to me. I feel comfortable meeting anyone at any time in any place. I know this is rare and I don’t expect others to be nearly as comfortable with this as I am.

When I meet someone though, I try a different approach than most. The first thing I make sure to do, every time, is to slow people down from the inevitable traditional greeting launch. I pause and ask their name – even though they’re most likely wearing a name tag. Then, I make sure to share my name again to keep a steady pace.

Here’s where things veer in a different direction . . .

Most people then open a conversation with, “So, tell me what you do.” or “So, where do you work? I never do this even if the other person I’m meeting starts this way. Now, this took an incredible amount of discipline to break the habit because I have been using this opening barrage just like everyone else.

I do this instead, “Hi, Mary, where are you from?”

People freeze. They weren’t expecting a question that fell outside the normal pattern of human interaction. Once they get their bearings, you see something amazing happen. Their shoulders drop and a smile starts spreading across their face. “Oh, I’m from . . .” and then they warmly share this tidbit about themselves.

The entire tone and tenor of this interaction becomes welcoming, warm, and genuine. People don’t posture or try to justify their role in their organization or the brand they work for. It puts people at ease.

Recently, when I was speaking at the Oklahoma SHRM State Conference, I tried my elusive tactic on people and many replied, “I’m from the City.” Not being from Oklahoma I had no idea where that was. I’d kid, “Well, I’m from a city too.” Then they’d blush and stammer to say, “The City is what we call Oklahoma City.” I learned something new and it was fun to do so.

You see, when we ask people to recite their occupation and company, we truly don’t care. We won’t remember it and it’s a clumsy way to get to know someone. When people talk about where they live, they’re open to sharing so much more about themselves willingly.

One caution in the “where are you from” approach. Don’t downplay your location. If you’re from a smaller town or village, share the name of it and where it is proudly. You may need to explain it’s located near a larger, or more well-known city, but that’s okay. When you say, “Oh, you don’t know where this is . . . , ” – you diminish yourself and the conversation.

I was just in a conversation where a friend said, “Yeah, I get to serve in churches in Jumbo and Roundhead.” I knew exactly where these minuscule burgs were in Ohio. He didn’t have to explain or give me more details. I already had the picture that these were small towns and I loved that he was willing to meet people where they lived.

Next week the SHRM Annual Conference is going to happen in Las Vegas, Nevada. The convention center will be teeming with literally thousands of people and it can quickly become overwhelming. I recommend you relax and use this new tool in your “get to meet you” quiver. Trust me, you’ll start enjoying networking far more than you have in the past.

So, when our paths cross, and they will, ask me where I’m from and I’ll do the same !!