I Just Need a Stick !!

Life is complicated. We don’t want it to be but it is. If we had our way, we’d eliminate all of the challenges and obstacles we could. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

One of the areas of our lives that compounds this feeling of endless complications is work. Ironically, the place where we spend the most time during our waking hours is layered, convoluted, and nearly impossible to navigate. An additional impediment is people. Seriously. We are all carrying our own bundle of complexity. If you do the math and try to calculate just how intertwined work is, you’d need to use the following formula.

Take the number of people working in a department + the number of responsibilities they have + the distractions we all experience that keep us from our jobs + the infinite number of interruptions and unknowns and finally add the factor of everyone having different priorities. That comes out to one “normal” day.

It’s no wonder people feel frustrated and stuck. Honestly, it’s also fairly astonishing we get anything done. Thankfully, people have learned how to find a path that works most of the time and we’re good with that. In the midst of all of the activity occurring around us and the activity we’re trying to do, work happens (sort of). There’s another factor that aggravates this situation and all of the great people doing their best to perform. Instead of simplifying the work we have on our plate, we offer solutions which only add and add and add and . . .

I was having lunch this past week with a co-worker and we were talking about how we have people who are sinking in quicksand. Every time they try to address one situation it seems like ten more pop out of nowhere. It’s exponential and never-ending. We started our conversation like many that have happened before when we tried to assess what was happening when my co-worker just stopped. He paused, took a deep breath, and said the most astute thing I’ve heard in ages. “Steve, they just need a stick. They’re sinking and we keep coming up with multiple approaches and potential solutions when all they want is a stick to get them out of the quicksand.”

I sat there stunned. He was on point. It’s astonishing that the simple answers always seem to elude us. We’re as caught up in the many hairballs of work as anyone else. We should come up with the simple option, but we forget that simple is hard. So, here’s a way to offer a stick to our good folks who truly want to do good work.

S – Simplify. We don’t have to continually keep layering work. It takes more discipline to simplify work, but it is worth the time and effort. Strip away steps which pull people further into the weeds.

T – Talk to folks. You need to talk to your people about how they feel and where they feel stuck. Without assessing what they think they’re facing, you’re just going to come up with an approach that will be another burden to handle.

I – Intentionality. We often skirt around the edges of situations instead of being respectfully direct. We fool ourselves into thinking that people will arrive at conclusions if we just hint at what should be done. It has never worked. Be intentional to reach your people.

C- Change. At some point we need to get out of the cul-de-sac of coming up with the next best thing because someone will say, “Well, what if . . .” Change is a constant. Figure out when you’re close enough and then step into the change needed.

K – Keep at it. Work is a continuum and as soon as you get someone unstuck, there is sure to be someone else who has found their pit of quicksand. This is somewhat daunting, but being diligent and agile works against the trap of being stagnant.

This week take a look around and see who’s sinking. When you find them, fight the urge to create the next best system and procedure. Pause. Breathe. Then offer them a stick !!

The Future Workplace

This past week I had the incredible opportunity to speak to an auditorium filled with college students. I’ve become accustomed to speaking, but this time I was a bit anxious. You see, I’m almost 40 years older than all of the young students in the room. I wasn’t quite sure I’d connect with them. I was hopeful but it wasn’t a sure thing. Even though I’ve been speaking for several years in a variety of venues, I still have that tinge of uncertainty which I welcome. I never want to take it for granted or be so self-assured that I overlook the reason I speak – the audience.

The topic was fascinating because I was tagged to speak about the Future Workplace !! (Cue space music in the background.) I wanted to see where the mindset was of the students so I asked them using Slido.

(Quick aside – If you’ve never used Slido as a presenter, I highly recommend it because it allows full participation from the group you’re in front of anonymously. Check it out !!)

The kids pulled out their phones, clicked on the QR code, and started typing. I chose a WordCloud for them to populate. There were nearly two hundred responses and the top answers were: Money, Work-Life Balance and Flexibility. So, the newest folks who will be entering the workplace would like to get paid and not work all the time !! I agree that is a need even today.

Once I knew where they stood, I turned the tables on what they expected. Instead of lecturing to them about my decades of vast experience, I talked about topics to look for and expect in the workplace. The tone was more about encouraging them to be intentional and create the workplace of the future themselves. I didn’t want them to be subject to what others define for them. My generation did that and I felt that the majority of my career was filled with traditional boxes following a top/down approach.

The workplace of the future is going to be people-centric and people-first. Since the auditorium was filled with people, I shared that they had the foundation already sitting in front of them. We talked about culture, behavior, contribution, adding value, and more. The message I wanted to make sure stuck with them was this – Embrace all that they are as people and all that they’ll bring to the workplace from their vantage point. Also, I emphasized to NEVER let people from other generations put them down or degrade who they are or how they approach work.

I closed by encouraging them to connect with current businesspeople to establish mentors to be resources for them. Yes, I also told them they should network, but I wanted them to know that networking is a business skill and not a job-seeking skill. I kept with my style of having my accompanying office table filled with toys and even got some laughs despite our age difference.

At the end of the presentation, I was touched by how many students stayed to chat. Several of them said, “I didn’t know what to expect when I came tonight. I thought it might be dull and boring, but it was fun.” My favorite comment was, “I had a picture in my head of what an executive from a company looks like and sounds like. I was floored to see you dressed in a colorful shirt, fun shoes, and jeans. You were down-to-earth and authentic. You changed my perspective on what C-Suite people could be.”

It was reassuring and ironic at the same time. My nervous assumption about our significant age differences was unwarranted. We connected because of the common fact – we’re all humans. I think we should continue to focus on the human factor of the workplace now and into the future. The “things” like AI, HR Tech, new processes, and systems will always be evolving into something new. We’ll never fully be ahead of the curve and any predictions will have some things right and others will be missed.

I’m sure people will be speaking far more about the “things” of work instead of the humans. That’s a shame because the workplace of the future will include people. People frame the culture. People design the strategy. People make work come to life through the systems and processes.

I encourage all of us to embrace those who will make up the future workplace. It will be exciting to see what they do and what is invented next. Believing in them now and lifting them up is how WE can impact the future. We don’t have to keep focusing on the How and What is coming. We will be successful now and into the future for years to come if we focus on the Who !!

I’m geeked about the future. I can’t wait to see what all of those students will do. I hope you are geeked as well !!

Simple is Hard

This past week, I was fortunate to return to the speaking circuit for the first time in 2024. Whenever I get to speak to a group of my HR peers, my bucket is instantly filled. I never take it for granted. As soon as the obligatory speaker introduction ends, I can hit the first slide, and time seems to disappear.

I can feel the energy of the room ramp up when I introduce a few of the concepts I wanted to cover during my time. You see, I believe in and have practiced a stripped-down version of HR throughout my career. When I began practicing several decades ago, it wasn’t even called Human Resources it was Personnel. What was interesting was the old name of the field was a more accurate description of how most of the work was done. It was impersonal distant and heavily process-driven.

People are probably reading this and screaming that little has changed. That may be true in pockets or in companies that don’t value HR. I hate to hear that. I can’t tell you how many times people have come up to me after presentations sharing that they are faced with roles that still value the Personnel approach. Interestingly enough, there is this constant push to rename and rebrand the profession yet again. Instead of focusing on doing good work with people, we’re worried about what we’re called as an industry. I really am not concerned with what HR is or isn’t called as long as we try something that works.

Great HR is best when it is simplified. When we strip back the layers of the muck that have been built in over the years we make true progress. We thought our purpose had been to continue to build system upon system, process upon process, and policy upon policy. The more we wrote and implemented, we assured ourselves that our work and relationships with people would go smoothly. We have tricked ourselves into believing that we can have the perfect model with a set number of prescriptive steps to refer to for any situation we face.

There are still speakers, books, blogs, and podcasts that propose this ineffective and archaic belief system. Isn’t it ironic that if we only needed one true system then there wouldn’t be the need for any others? Have you stepped back to consider that?

Simplifying HR is needed because people are complicated. Each individual on this planet is unique. They can’t be, and shouldn’t be, crammed into a box of any sort in order to comply and conform. But, as Martin Scorcese so aptly stated, “Simple is hard.” You think it would be just the opposite. However, creating more and more and more layers of do’s and don’ts (mainly don’ts if we were honest) is easy. Having the discipline to keep things simple and not allow the layer building to occur takes considerably more effort.

The key to understanding here though is this – Keeping HR simple allows you and your employees to thrive. You have to trust me that you unleash more of the inherent talent people want to bring to work if you focus on allowing them to perform. How that looks where you work is up to you.

This is the baseline message of almost every talk I give. I’m out to deconstruct the past in order to build up the profession. Pulling the layers back and eliminating them reveals amazing people who have been there all the time. We just haven’t seen them because we’ve been lulled to sleep doing work building matrixes.

This week find one thing to strip back. Just one. The next week find two to three more and so on. Have faith and know that simplified HR can work for you. Taking these steps will be far more impactful than building the next great initiative. Enable the people you have working at your company to perform. You’ll find when you do this, they will.

What’s Next ??!!

This Wednesday is the next milestone I am fortunate enough to experience in this journey we call “life.” I’m turning the clock over to another decade !! Now, I understand that aging isn’t exactly an accomplishment. Time moves forward whether we want it to or not. However, in my family line reaching 60 is an accomplishment !!

My biological father passed away at age 26. His brother passed away in his early 40’s and his other brother made it to his late 60’s. Therefore, I am truly grateful when I get to start yet another year roaming the planet.

What does the next decade hold? I honestly don’t know, and I’m comfortable with things being unknown. I’m relatively healthy and active. Work has never been this exciting, robust, and creative !! My wife and I will celebrate 35 years of marriage in October, and our adults are successful as they learn how to live their lives and careers.

I’ve never been a person who had to have the next steps of life planned out or predetermined. The truth is when things are overly scheduled and structured, I get a bit itchy. I am far more comfortable with spontaneity and going with the flow of whatever presents itself. Ironically, my approach to life makes my wife itchy. That’s one of the many reasons we’ve been successful as a couple. We balance each other in almost every aspect of our lives together.

I do know this. I am going to continue to look forward to what’s next. I do this with anticipation, curiosity, joy, and positivity. I don’t really see another option. I know that I’ll meet new people in the coming years. I know that I’ll get to visit and explore different areas of the world, and I hope to get to meet and connect with more HR peers. I’m sure that I’ll make that transition from work to retirement sooner rather than later. That only means new adventures are just around the corner.

I know these exciting opportunities will present themselves because in looking back over my prior 59 years, I cherish the amazing things that have already happened. I never thought I’d ever be an author growing up, and now I’ve written three books. I could never have imagined speaking in front of any group, and yet I’ve taken the stage to speak to thousands of people. I never anticipated I’d find the love of my life and be blessed with two amazing kids. And yet, we continue to enjoy each other as time marches ahead.

I couldn’t have understood that I was led into the field of Human Resources which has fit me like a glove for my entire career. I’ve been fortunate to connect with peers from every type and size of industry around the globe. Literally !! I’ve had the opportunity to work with and impact thousands of employees for 37+ years. How amazing is that?

Not one of these experiences was part of a wish list or a vision board. (remember those?) I also don’t think that my life is a series of happenstance. I’m a man of faith and I trust that whatever comes throughout my life happened on purpose.

So, what’s next ?? I’m not sure, but I’m geeked to see how it all plays out.

The Art of Giving

This is a time of year when people feel the urge to give to others. I love that this is the case !! I know that the holidays aren’t only about gift-giving. Trust me. At the same time, I appreciate any time people pause to think of others. If the holidays provide an environment for people to be more selfless and less focused on themselves, then I’m in.

I enjoy shopping for my wife because I am so grateful for her and it’s fun to get her something that matters from her wish list. She has traditionally taken care of our kids and does an amazing job. She is always equitable in who gets what and is also thoughtful. Our kids (adults) are older now, so there is less quantity and far more meaningful quality. In fact, my kids have adopted the practice of only getting me gifts that make me weepy. It’s a fairly low threshold, but it’s something I cherish.

At work, we traditionally do food drives, coat drives and pick a charity to support families with felt needs. We give our employees an opportunity to chip in, but there isn’t an expectation of mandatory participation. Inevitably, the giving is overflowing, and the amount of donations is humbling and overwhelming. You hear a general hum of positivity fill the hallways more this time of year and there is less grousing about the challenges of work.

Our exec group has had a practice of giving each other gifts which started years ago. We spend so much time together throughout each year and it’s a cool way to let your co-workers know they’re on your heart. A few people give the same things annually and it’s fun knowing these treats are coming. This past week, however, I was taken aback by two gifts I received.

Quick explanation . . .

I am a GIANT fan of all things Ted Lasso. I love the show and feel it may be the best HR show ever made without directly being about HR. In the show, Ted makes biscuits for his boss every day. So, to get a package of Ted Lasso sayings, a towel with the recipe for the biscuits, AND actual biscuits to try was so wonderful !! (NOTE: The biscuits are sooooooooo delicious. I would recommend you make some yourself. I plan to !!)

The other gift was a print filled with a montage of items from my hometown of Ada, Ohio. If you know me at all, you know that being from Ada means the world to me. I spent the most formative years of school there, and it will always be a place I will be connected to throughout my life.

I wanted you to have more of an explanation of these gifts because they reflect the art of what giving can do. Giving causes us to pause and think of others on purpose. It stops the pattern people have of primarily thinking about themselves and their needs first and foremost. Giving also shows your heart and opens you to be more vulnerable and open with people.

The art of giving should be a pattern of our lives year-round. We are all surrounded by people who have needs. Most need to be given the gift of time and acknowledgment. You can let them know they matter in who they are and what they contribute. Others may want the gift of attention. A time when they receive your entire focus without distraction. No phones, laptops, or screens. You are “there” when they are there.

You will also come across those who may be facing challenges, trials, or periods of a larger need. See how you can step in. You may have resources yourself or you can connect them with others who can lend a hand.

It’s imperative we all learn, and embrace the art of giving. Imagine how our workplaces, our neighborhoods, and the world would look if we did !!

M.C. Escher Was Right !!

This past week I had the opportunity to travel to Vero Beach, Florida to meet with HR peers at the Treasure Coast HR Association. They were kind enough to gather and let me present a different look at human resources. I cherish any time I get a chance to do this because it gives me an opening to encourage folks who work in the same wonderful industry I do.

I made sure to build in some time to wander in and around Vero Beach for an extra few days. I had never been to the city, and I find it fulfilling to explore and see the areas of the world where I get to speak. I meandered through the shops in the quaint downtown, grabbed lunch at a local sandwich shop, and took a stroll down a boardwalk overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. I made sure to visit other local eateries and a brewery during my visit. The highlight of everything though was a visit to the Vero Beach Museum of Art !!

I do my best to visit art museums in every city I go to. Art fills my soul. To see the expressions of others using various mediums stretches my imagination. The pieces are all interesting in some way. I may not “get” what the artist was trying to capture, but those pieces are intriguing as well. Art isn’t something to agree with. It’s something to learn from.

I was especially geeked because the museum had a special exhibit of the works of Dutch artist, M.C. Escher. You may not recognize his name, but I guarantee you’d recognize his work. Instead of just walking from piece to piece, I was fortunate to join a tour with a docent who took the time to tell us about Escher and how he created his work. It was fascinating !!

I always assumed that Escher drew his compositions. I was absolutely floored to learn that he actually made prints by using wood cuttings and lithographs. The images that he captured he did backward !! It’s hard to grasp because the intricacies and level of detail are mind-blowing. To think he even saw these images in his mind is hard enough to understand. To take those thoughts and then create them in reverse is astonishing. There are no good words and it made me admire his work even more.

The docent took several minutes at a handful of the 160 works on display to help us look deeply at each one. I found myself falling headlong into the prints and ignoring what was going on around me. Escher didn’t consider himself a traditional artist because he felt they focused on beauty. He wanted to bring out “wonder” instead. His earlier work was more conventional while still being amazing capturing the scenery of his time living throughout Italy. As his career progressed, he began to design impossible and infinite works. When you look at them, there is no definite start or finish. They just move eternally.

After the tour ended, I took my time to go back through the exhibition and enjoy every single piece. You see, I think Escher captured the essence of life and work. Each of them are ever-moving, ever-changing continuums. There aren’t discernable starting points or conclusions. Once something is accomplished, it’s already changing into the next iteration.

We don’t recognize this reality because we strive for absolutes. We want things to have a clear start and a finite end. I understand this because we feel it gives work form and function. However, just like Escher’s lithographs and wood cuttings, work is infinite. Even if we try to take a slice out to focus on a portion of what’s in front of us, the movement continues in and around us.

I would encourage each of us to approach our days as if we were inserting ourselves inside an Escher work. Jump into the continuum and move freely to see where it takes you. Quit trying to control every moment of your day and see how the flow of everything is happening all around you. You need to believe me that understanding work is infinite will give you more fulfillment than trying to confine the occurrences in your environment.

I’m grateful I did some exploration in beautiful Vero Beach. I found an example of life’s continuum in an unexpected place. I think Escher would dig that !!

Just Turn It On !!

This month I quietly celebrated a career milestone by passing my 17th anniversary with the same company. I’m grateful beyond words that they took a chance on me so long ago. During my time there, I have been able to grow personally and professionally more than I could ever have imagined.

It started in a very interesting manner though . . .

During their selection process, a peer of mine, who was interviewing for the HR role herself, reached out to me. She told me there was a role she thought I’d be a great fit for. I didn’t know she was being considered. She didn’t tell me. I sent the company resumes of other HR pros I knew and then asked if I could be considered as well. The gentleman who turned out to be my future boss told me, “We were hoping you’d apply.”

My first interview was in a booth in a pizzeria. Kevin asked me how I felt about being in the restaurants and I replied, “Do I even need to go to my desk ??” Evidently, it was the right answer. I came back for a round of second interviews at the corporate office. As I was taken from office to office to meet the various executives, I noticed something. Lava lamps. Many of the offices had them and I started to get giddy.

If you know me at all, I have a handful of quirks. One of them is lava lamps. I have had at least one for over the past 30 years. I dig them and they give me peace because of their simplicity. To see them dotting the offices of people I hoped would be co-workers was a great sign. It was curious though that they were darkened and not doing what they were created for.

I was hired and I brought my ancient, yet reliable, lava lamp with purple goo with me on my first day. Before I even completed the mandatory HR paperwork for new hires, I plugged it in and did something radical . . . I turned it on !!

As people came to visit me in my new place, they noticed the blobs of the lava lamp easily moving up and down. Most of them said, “Cool lamp !!” The ones who had lava lamps in their offices even commented and I shared, “You know, yours can do this too.”

You see, I think lava lamps are reflective of how we see people and what we could do to alter that. When we meet people, we truly don’t take much time to get to know them. The vast majority of our work relationships are kept at a surface level at best. From that shallow vantage point, we make massive judgments about people. Those judgments may not always turn out to be positive either. People aren’t swayed or discouraged by this. It seems that investing time in others is never as important as real “work.”

It’s a shame that we’ve expected this level of shallowness to be the norm of our company culture. If we would do one simple thing and just turn them on, I think we’d see the incredible light, talent, and life each person innately has. We’d see that time invested unlocks who they are as a human and allows them to express themselves through their performance.

I believe in this so much that I give a lava lamp away every time I get to speak at HR and business events. A simple gift to spread the light helps reframe people’s perspectives and how they view others. I “require” people to send me a picture of the lava lamp fully lit in their workplace to make sure they keep the light going. In fact, I just got a note from an HR peer who said she still thinks of me because she received a lava lamp from me 10 years ago !!

If you come to my office now, I have five lava lamps going at all times and another four at home. I don’t feel I could seriously have enough of them (but my wife may disagree.)

This week, stop looking at just the exterior of the people you work with. Know that they’re just waiting for someone to help them flip their switch. Help them do that and be the one who allows their brilliance to shine every day !!

I Wonder . . .

This weekend my wife and I celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary !! It’s an incredible blessing to have her in my life for all of these years and we look forward to many, many more. My wife has been willing to tag along with me throughout our time together because I have this insatiable need to surround myself with people. You need to understand that this stretches her past her comfort zone on a regular basis. However, she knows that it comes with being tethered to me.

Not only do I enjoy being around others, I like observing how they interact. You can catch snippets of conversations, and I wonder what the rest of their stories are. I am truly intrigued. It’s a genuine interest because I feel there are countless experiences that would be shared. You could learn so much more than you know about how people live, what they believe, how they view the world, and more.

Just this weekend, Debbie and I went to the wedding of a family friend, and the room was filled with a handful of people we knew. The majority of those attending though were strangers. It didn’t inhibit the celebration because the people were tied in some way to either the bride or the groom. While we were at the ceremony taking place in a beautiful center in an expansive park, the park’s grounds were teeming with students taking pictures for homecoming. Another family paraded by decked out in their best apparel for a quinceañera with everyone smiling.

After the ceremony, people milled around for a happy hour and snacks. Dinner followed and the room filled with the noise and clatter of a myriad of conversations happening everywhere. Our table was no different. As I was engaged with the familiar friends in our assigned seats, I tried to capture what was happening around me. I wondered what was being shared.

You see, I believe in people and feel every single person has something to offer. I’m sure of it. I don’t feel there are those who are boring or not worth my time. And, when you stop and think about it, there are far more people you don’t know versus those that you do. Our circle of humans is not as vast as we think. We all have a capacity of how many relationships we can manage and interact with and that’s normal. It’s not possible to know everyone. However, the world is filled with people I’m eager to meet.

We have an opportunity to expand our reach to those we know by making sure that those we work with are not isolated or untethered. They can be assured they’re connected to you as at least one person in that environment. At the same time, when you have chance encounters with new people, pause and take time to chat. Make the time to see who they are. Be an unexpected connection. You never know where it will lead.

I plan to continue to observe people and connect when I can. There are so many humans to meet. It will be fascinating to see what happens. I wonder . . .

Become a Lead Singer !!

A few weeks ago one of my best friends and I saw a fave band of mine from the early 2000’s – CAKE. They played at an outdoor venue where you had to stand for the entire show. There were 3 rows of “VIP seats,” but they stood as well.   The band was tight and their musicianship was astonishing !!

The people who came to see CAKE were anxious for them to hit the stage. You could hear the hum of a murmur wondering when we’d see the band. Now, if you aren’t familiar with their music, they’re truly unique. The band has a lead singer who “sings” while sometimes talking through the songs and playing a rhythm guitar. The lead guitarist is a genius who drops incredible hooks while strumming every note. A bassist and a drummer provided a solid background foundation for each tune. Their work blended in seamlessly. In addition, there’s a true artist who plays a solo trumpet, keyboard, and ancillary percussion. He’s amazing !!

Everyone throughout the venue sang all the songs we knew and if you stumbled through the lyrics, your fellow concertgoers didn’t care and didn’t correct you. The idea of having a shared experience was far more the focus than being accurate or correct. If you swayed or madly danced, it was fine. Everyone was in sync. The lead singer led several crowd sing-a-longs with ease. He didn’t have to coerce the masses to perform. They were eager for the opportunity !!

You’ll have to trust me that when he split the crowd in two to sing the fab song – Sick of You – it was magic. People who would most likely never sing in public or take a stage belted out their part with ease. Men and women, younger and older, fans or curious concert attendees sang. Not one person stood there quietly. Not. One.

Now, this isn’t a concert review. It’s an observation.

 What if we could make our company culture have this same vibe ?? Everyone comes to work with anticipation about the day ahead. Your co-workers are geeked to see you and are actually elated that you are. No one harps on mistakes that are made. There’s a sense of camaraderie where people lean in and make sure everyone succeeds.

There’s a “lead singer” who captures the vibe of the workplace and together the organization performs a mix of hits and rare deep cuts.   Sound out of reach ?? I don’t think it is. The key is our approach and how we view people. If we could look out on our “crowd” and get them to all sing along, imagine how fulfilling our days would be.

Aren’t you tired of always trying to repair and fix the multitude of factions that break out in the workplace? Is this all you think HR and leadership have to offer? It would be easy to think so because we swim in this mess daily. We’re so used to the constant fragmentation of people we don’t even look for a solution. We just exhale a deep sigh, drop our shoulders, and dive in.

It’s never worked and we may experience minor successes here and there, but it will be short-lived. I think it’s time we took the concert approach and become lead singers in our organizations. We know the songs and we can rally our fellow musicians to play the notes in the correct order to pull everyone together. You can emphasize that they play their part and their instrument because that is the skill and talent they bring to their role and the company.

It’s possible and it works. Time to step up to the microphone, raise your hands, and reach out to the people eager to follow and participate. Take the lead !!

To get you started, here’s a slice of Cake !!

The Reality of Rest

If you’ve been following this blog for any amount of time, you know I’m a person who is on the go most of the time. Activity fills my bucket. I have a driving urge that my next experience is going to be an adventure !! I’m not talking about something grandiose either. Meeting a unique person in a shop in a small town. Having an encounter with a stranger that turns out to be unexpected and interesting. Working on our daughter’s house to repair, paint and give it her touch. The list can be endless.

I eagerly enter each day with anticipation that something amazing is sure to occur. I know. This sounds naive and superficial. I can assure you it’s not. Ever since I can remember, I have seen life as robust with opportunities to look around the next corner at something completely new. Always being on the go has a price though . . .

I’m not good at resting. Never have been. This endless yearning of wonderment runs counter to slowing down even for a moment. I tend to collapse even after a full day at work. The energy I try to pour into others while also getting them to see life from a brighter perspective is exhausting. I’m not complaining. I’d have it no other way. I just want you to know that the science of expending energy affects me greatly as I’m sure it does you.

Most people I know collapse or burst. They either run themselves into the ground with countless tasks they attack and at times accomplish. Or, they sprint as if there is no end to a race and then explode emotionally. This results in a few days off either from your body slowing you down because you won’t pay attention or a mini vacation just to remove yourself from the hectic pace.

Bursting is as unhealthy as collapsing. We convince ourselves this isn’t the case and we tell ourselves that our company, department, project, etc. would surely fail if we weren’t constantly diligent and present. I fully believe in self-worth and self-assuredness in life. However, if we delude ourselves into feeling we are indescribably valuable, then we lack the most important “self” – self-awareness.

This weekend, I decided to be intentional and embrace the reality of rest. I put down my phone, went out with my wife and friends to music trivia and some drinks, and even slept in on Saturday morning !! All day Saturday, I limited my activity and drive to always do something. That resulted in watching a movie, getting some ice cream after making dinner in our Instant Pot, and even squeezing in a nap. Just one day of slowing down helped me mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Today I went to church, washed our cars, and sat down to write this blog. Limiting my activity didn’t hurt one bit and as far as I can tell, the world is still spinning. I was on social media but barely. Later, I plan to pick up a book and read or even start a puzzle without a screen in sight.

People are still milling around and falling into the trap that hustling and running is a needed component in today’s society while I chose to rest. We can’t advance the cause of well-being if we don’t take care of ourselves. Rest is needed SO we can get back in, stay active and thrive.

This week break the pattern of collapsing or bursting. Encourage others to do the same throughout your family and your workplace. Build in rest. When you do, you’ll see you actually have more energy and time than you expected !!