Gratitude

When I was a junior in high school, I took Chemistry. The class was a mix of juniors and seniors and was sure to be challenging. On the first day, a very young man walked into the room with a white shirt and a tie as we were chatting away and not paying attention. He turned to the chalkboard and wrote his name – Mr. Lusk.

He didn’t appear old enough to be a “Mr.” We soon found out that this was his first teaching opportunity after graduating from college. So, he was sitting in a room of students who were only four to five years younger than he was. Mr. Lusk was soft spoken and somewhat cautious in his approach. It had to be daunting to walk into a room where most of the students had been together since kindergarten !!

His first few weeks with us didn’t go well. You see our class had a mix of nerds (me included) who were geeked to learn Chemistry, and jocks who felt they had to get this class under their belt for college. They were there reluctantly and made that known every day. Mr. Lusk was strong even though he seemed meek. He had a down to earth teaching style and he made the different facets of the subject jump off the pages. A group of us (on the nerd side) decided to take him under our wings, and fight off those who didn’t want to be there.

A bond developed with four of us and we called ourselves “The Conclave.” We began to stay after class and also spent our study halls down in the chem room. We began to excel as he kept investing in us, and we, in turn, kept supporting him when others tried to dispel him as a teacher. Mr. Lusk survived and even started a second year of chemistry and a physics class that the Conclave willingly took. That was in 1980.

Mr. Lusk is still a fixture in Ada High School. He has been the same great teacher who invested in me almost forty years ago. His investment in me and hundreds of students since has left an amazing impact on every life. I have kept in touch with him and I tell him often how grateful I am that he got through those first few months when everyone tried to make it so hard for him. I’ve watched him become a father of very successful kids himself, and have shared my life with him as well.

His willingness to invest in others deserves more than a “Thank You.” Giving thanks is wonderful and polite, but he deserves gratitude. His example set the stage for me, and I want it to be an example to set for you as well.

If you’re in HR, you have the chance to be the person who invests in others. It’s a choice. You can either be like Mr. Lusk, or you can pass over others to get to the work at hand. I’d rather be the person who invests because you never know that the time you are intentional may have an impact and a legacy you never saw coming. People are worth it and deserve your focus, your time and your encouragement.

Who are you investing in? Are you being intentional to make sure others are acknowledged and lifted up? Why not?

This week I want to encourage you to do three things. The first is to switch your focus to one where you will invest in others. Secondly, go to those who have invested in you and thank them. Showing gratitude to them will sow the seeds in you to show gratitude to others on a consistent basis. Third, make sure you check out the new Impact Makers podcast from Jennifer McClure and subscribe to it !! She is featuring those who’s she’s seen make an impact on her and others. It’s a great example of what gratitude can do.

Mr. Lusk probably didn’t have the goal of making such a substantial difference in the lives of his students. He has, and I for one, am grateful !!

What’s Your Name ??

Your name.

Everyone has one. The truth is that it is the most significant identifier of who we are as a human. You prefer to have others know your name when they talk to you because it provides a more personal connection. What is unique about names is that we’re very content knowing our own, and that’s about it.

The majority of people I meet willingly share that they struggle remembering the names of others. I find that fascinating and disappointing at the same time. It’s just not true. You know the names of many, many people, but you just don’t recognize it. For instance, you know the names of your immediate family and all of your extended family. Those names may actually extend for generations, and you’re able to recall every one without any effort.

You also know the names of many celebrities that span over decades. You can name the movies or television shows they were in, or the music that they perform. I’m not a celebrity follower, but I know too many of their names myself because they surround us.

So, you know more names than you think. However, the names of the people who pass by you every day are ignored and we “can’t” remember them because we’re “not good with names.”

I think this should change. People were given a name for a reason. To blow this off due to a lack of interest is not a good excuse. I don’t buy it. Why ?? I am good with names. I think that I have the names of thousands of people in my head at one time or another. Some of this may be that I’ve worked at this, but I think it’s also a set of factors that are a bit different than you may consider.

If you’re in HR, then I think it’s imperative that you are good knowing the names of those in your workplace at a minimum. There shouldn’t be an employee that walks through work anonymously. Now, I understand that we all work in company’s of various sizes. It could be very challenging to know every single team member’s name. That doesn’t make it less important, and I have some ways to make it less daunting.

Know that it matters – As mentioned before, our name is our unique identifier. We were given one on purpose. Remember that because remembering the name of other’s will keep you “others” focused which is the best type of HR.

You remember those who impact you or influence you – Remember the celebrity example? You remember those folks with ease because they’ve left some imprint on you. The same is true with your family and friends. So, treat those you work with with the same weight. Be an influence on them and expect them to be an influence on you.

Invest the time to remember names – It’s not as hard as we make it. The truth is that we’ll put our time towards things that matter to us. People should matter !! Knowing someone by their name will establish the foundation of a relationship. It’s key to all areas of your life.

Don’t be afraid to ask – We seem to hit a wall of fear if we forget someone’s name. The truth is that people are very forgiving if you take the time to ask them again. I’d work on it not happening regularly, but people will give grace since they struggle with remembering names as well.

This week start a new trend and approach. Work on remembering the names of others. It will change your perspective on relationships as well as other’s view of you. By the way, my name’s Steve.

#HRMixTape2018 – The Employee Edition

I was so geeked when I heard that my friend, Mark Hendy, was bringing the #HRMixTape challenge back for 2018 !! Being a giant music freak, I couldn’t pass this up at all. I wanted to take a different look for mix tape and focus on our interactions with employees. Working with humans is essential in all we do, and I’m sure you’ve run across these situations. These songs could be a great resource to be played in the background as you address things. Let’s jump in !!

U2 – I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

Instead of slogging through endless performance reviews that rarely move the needle, have a talk with your employees to see what they’d like to do in their roles and in the company. Getting clarity is far more valuable than any silly form or report card !!

Elvis Costello – Accidents Will Happen

We need to allow failure to occur in our organizations. The constant push for endless perfection isn’t realistic or sustainable. Let people stub their toes. They’ll learn from that far more than trying to achieve 100% every day. Have some faith in them and show them some grace !!

R.E.M. – Stand

One of the best skills we can have ourselves, and develop in our employees, is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. There is far too much ambiguity throughout our organizations. Help people to be intentional and confident. You will enjoy HR even more when you do !!

The Clash – Should I Stay or Should I Go

We always encourage companies to be filled with employees who feel they fit and can contribute. However, we rarely help people manage their careers. If we were more intentional about this and lost our unfounded fear, we’d have people choose to be with us and thrive. We’d also have people move on to new opportunities where they may fit even more naturally !!

AC/DC – Thunderstruck

Your employees rock and so does HR !! We should be doing all we can to encourage them, lift them up and provide a positive work environment for them to crush every day !! Whenever Angus Young starts this amazing rif, my passion jumps through the roof. I hope yours does as well !!

Well, there’s my #HRMixTape and I hope it gets you moving and grooving with your amazing humans on purpose !!

Fighting Distractions !!

Recently, I went out of town for the first SHRM Board meeting of the year. It gave me a break from the norm of heading into the office every day. Taking a short mental break from your normal pattern is incredibly refreshing. Now, I was going from one type of work to another, but it was a break nonetheless.

Having an interruption in my normal pattern helped because it broke up the myriad of distractions that exist on a regular basis. HR is never the same every day. This isn’t a complaint, it’s our reality. Because we’re in the business of humans, the unexpected is what we’re sure to face the moment we head into the office. Since we work within this unpredictable environment, we can easily become distracted. There are so many different situations that present themselves that it becomes overwhelming to try and pick through everything to find a clear path.

You need to understand one thing about this constant flow of distractions. I wouldn’t trade it in for the world. I would not function well in a job where things moved from A to B to C to D to . . .

I would much rather stay in the world of A to 7 to Purple to Llama to B. I know that doesn’t “make sense”, but I do think it’s a more accurate flow to the day of a human resources practitioner. Since this is our reality, how can we flourish within this miasma of being pulled in thousands of ways? There are a handful of suggestions I’d like to propose that will help you cope.

Accept your reality – I can almost hear your deep sigh as you read this, and you’re mumbling, “Really ??” Yes, really. You will be less frustrated when you own this. Life isn’t linear. It never has been. Understanding that there are very few predictive patterns in your “normal” day will allow you to try other mechanisms to fight distractions.

Be decisive – This is the bane of almost every HR person I know. This doesn’t mean that you should overlook alternatives. You absolutely should because the situations we address are never black or white. However, you need to stop the flow of distractions by making a decision and then implementing it. Taking a more firm stance on items will remove some of the things that push and pull for your time – at least for a moment.

Take a walk – This may be literal or figurative. Whatever constitutes a “break” for you is something you need to regularly do to stop the noise. Get away from the pace and the people who long for your time and attention. Not forever just for a moment. Having that intentional break from your normal day will help clear the fog. You’ll feel refreshed and ready to jump back in.

You aren’t the only one – We often get exasperated with our own days, and we think we’re the only ones facing distractions. That is narrow thinking. The truth is that in today’s non-stop pace of work, technology, life, family, etc. – all people are swimming in distractions. Understanding this is critical because when you interact with someone else you’re entering their world of distractions. Let others know that the push and pull they’re facing is okay and you both can work within this every changing flow.

Buy a book –  Now, relax because this isn’t a shameless plug, it’s a recommendation. One of the best gifts I ever received was the book Orbiting the Giant Hairball by Gordon MacKenzie. He accurately captures the workplace and shows how you can “survive with grace.” It’s worth the read, and you’ll find it a resource you’ll reference often.

We are distracted. It’s not wrong, it’s what we face. Thanks for taking a “break” to read this. Now, jump back in the mix.

Something to Believe In !!

Do you remember the movie Bull Durham ?? It’s one of my all-time favorites. There’s a scene where Susan Sarandon meets with Tim Robbins (the talented pitching rookie) and Kevin Costner (the long-term minor league catcher), and she’s deciding who’ll she’ll be dating that season. Costner gets fed up being treated like he has to prove himself and stands to walk out. Sarandon challenges him and asks him what he believes in, and he gives one of the best answers ever captured in the movies. She responded almost breathlessly, “Oh my !!”

Costner’s character was ready to act on what he believed, and he held to it. I know it’s just a movie, but I appreciate the example. Belief in something greater than yourself is needed because it gives you direction and clarity. In today’s never ending stream of chaos, it seems that being someone who has beliefs isn’t popular.

Just using the word “belief” raises the defenses of others. This seems odd to me because having beliefs doesn’t mean that you are automatically contrary to others. I admire people who will be definitive and state what they believe in and stand by it. It doesn’t upset me or offend me that others have different beliefs than I do. In fact, I wouldn’t expect it to be otherwise because people are unique. Even if you picked one particular belief that two people “shared”, they would interpret it differently.

It also seems to me that people don’t want to talk and dialogue about having varying points of view. Instead, people want to scream their beliefs with the expectation that you support what they believe . . . or else. This saddens me. I value that people look at the world from different viewpoints and perspectives. I learn from others even if I don’t hold to what they believe. I don’t think that we should want everyone to be the same. All I’d like to see is that people respect differences. I think that if this occurred, then we’d have a chance to reach consensus on many things that would hopefully move us forward.

The reason I wanted to tackle this potentially volatile topic, is that I think it is a facet of what we do in HR. We work with people who come from drastically different backgrounds. Even when we think there may be similarities in people, they are far outweighed by the uniqueness that everyone brings to the workplace every day. Each of our employees has beliefs. They may, or may not, express them. But, you need to know they exist. It drives how they behave and how they perform.

We tend to shy away from asking about what our team members believe. I understand that because we’re not sure what we’ll hear. I think what’s key is not what you hear, but how you respond. I have found that when I take the time to listen to my team members I hear what they believe. Those thoughts and perspectives give me a better understanding of them as a human, and that’s the key.

I can’t lose sight that we’re in the business of humans. Ever.

So, this week, I want you to take the chance to understand that having beliefs is innately human. Then, I want to also challenge you to listen to what other’s believe in and not judge. You may not agree with them. Most likely you won’t. But, understanding humans is needed now more than ever.

Like I said in the beginning, I have beliefs. I believe that people want to do good more often than not. I believe in having faith and showing grace. I believe in encouragement and lifting others up consistently. I believe in creativity, laughter, enjoying tie-dye and all types of music. I’m defined by my beliefs . . . and you are defined by yours.

Encourage Daily !!

We all have things that have become daily habits. They range from when you wake up to whether you have breakfast or not to how you commute to work. These daily activities are so ingrained into our lives that we actually notice if something is slightly off. In fact, those slight variations can throw us off greatly (but we’re good with change – remember?)

Consistency is needed in our lives. We like consistency, and it gives us comfort knowing our daily routine. What’s interesting about our patterns is that they are most likely self-focused. We take care of ourselves far more than others. There is value in this, but it also may set up blinders. We can become numb to our routine and just glide through it without thinking about it.

When my kids were very young, I would take them to daycare everyday. It was a given part of my morning ritual Monday through Friday. I enjoyed getting their day started before heading into the office. One day, I packed my son into the car and started my commute. This day, however, I turned onto the highway and was blissfully moving in and out of traffic. About five miles along, a small voice from the back seat said, “Dad, am I going to daycare today?” I snapped out of my haze, and there was my son waving to me as I looked in the rear view mirror. He laughed hysterically with glee about my panic. We turned the car around and I dropped him off before heading back to work.

My routine had lulled me into just going through the motions to the point that I ignored my son !! I think this happens to too many people as we go into work. Why do you think people came up with the term “the daily grind”?

Aren’t you tired of this? Wouldn’t you like to break out of the doldrums and have a vibrant, engaged day – every day ?? I do and I have a way for you to break out of the doldrums as well. Encouragement.

We pass by a countless number of people every day without even noticing. They aren’t part of our daily habit. That needs to change. A friend of mine, Carlos Escobar, blogged and shared a video of a subway transit worker who greets every single person every day. He intentionally takes the time to say “Hello” to every person.

Encouragement is so simple and yet so difficult. The act of encouraging and saying something to lift someone up takes seconds of your day. Seconds. Not hours, seconds. We come up with excuses of why we shouldn’t encourage others. We may even fall into the awful mindset that if we encourage others they’ll “expect it” !!

In order to fight the urge to avoid, I want to encourage you to make encouragement a daily habit. Also, I want you to lift up everyone you encounter – even those who may not want it. This simple act will completely alter your daily outlook on life, work and interactions. Encouragement is the baseline for healthy relationships.

Tomorrow, as you start your work week, begin to notice others. Start a new daily routine. You’ll see the dark part of your days lighten up. You’ll see people respond positively where that may not have been the case. It’s worth the effort. Encourage others daily !!

I Like What I Like !!

When my kids were small, eating out was an adventure to say the least. Our options included any restaurant that had some form of chicken nuggets. I don’t know how that gets into their DNA, but it did. We couldn’t vary from this extremely limited option. Ever.

The lack of variety seemed as if it would last for eternity, but as they grew we could try other exotic foods like hot dogs or even a hamburger. With so many choices available, I couldn’t understand why the kids were so reluctant to try new things. Other foods wouldn’t harm them, and many of them are delightful. That didn’t matter to them. They were steadfast on what they liked. There was no reason to change. They were fed and they liked chicken nuggets. I still shudder when I see them listed on any menu !!

My kids have now grown up into young adults and they are fantastic humans who have a larger palette. My daughter was visiting this weekend as a break from graduate school and we reminiscing about how she, and her brother, ate as a kid. We laughed and she said something profound.

“Dad, you have to remember – I like what I like !!”

Why is this profound? She expressed the reality of every single person on the planet. We all have certain likes and dislikes, and we do our best to limit or avoid those items we dislike. The more I thought about this I was struck at how powerful our likes are.  It’s staggering !!

We tell everyone at work that they should be open and welcome to change. Change that is meant to be positive both personally and organizationally can’t budge people if they don’t “like” it. And yet, we continue to pound and pound the change because it has to happen. Rarely do we ever seek input and feedback because we’re concerned that someone will alter the change we feel is best.

I think we can learn some lessons from my kids. Change can happen and it will, but we can be more effective if we consider some factors.

Change takes time – Change that is sustainable takes time, not an instant demand or flip of a switch. That may be frustrating and test our patience, but the investment of time is needed.

Change need to be incremental – Massive shifts never work. You spend more time picking up pieces and making alterations to get to where you wanted to go. Make small changes that are easy to understand and implement.

Have faith and believe in people – When you involve the people who are affected by the change you want to implement, the chance of success rises incredibly. People expect context, and the more they get there is a better chance they will “like” the change.

It’s time for us to recalibrate  how we make change occur in our organizations. We need to take into consideration what people like as our framework to build from. If you do this and take the time to be intentional with your change, chances are more people will “like” it !!

Just Flourish !!

Unless you’re a self-avowed hermit, you’re surrounded by people. It’s inevitable that there are humans around you the majority of your day. Since that is the environment you find yourself in, you have a choice to embrace it or avoid it. This isn’t due to where you fall on the extroversion/introversion scale. You will choose how much human interaction works for you – and you should. We all have a limit. If we cross that, we tend to get frustrated, flustered and annoyed.

Being with people is more than just swimming among others as you pass through the hallways to their office/cubicle to have work related conversations. That type of interaction is necessary in order for good work to be accomplished. I would almost categorize those instances as “forced.” I don’t mean that you are reluctant to have conversations. It’s more like you have work conversations in order to get the next facet of your work at hand to move forward. They can be friendly, cantankerous or obligatory. They happen whether you “wanted” to have them or not.

The difficulty I see that happens all around me is that these pass by conversations make up the vast majority of communication today. It’s not only at work either. When people are using social media, you get quick snippets of partial thoughts. Or, you may get a picture in time of a great event or accomplishment. People taking time at home to truly interact without distraction is becoming an extinct approach. Again, I’m not making a right/wrong judgement here. It’s our reality and we need to acknowledge it. However, it doesn’t have to define us !!

Taking time to develop relationships has become a lost art. Unfortunately, the word “relationship” has been tarnished because of the unacceptable actions of some. That doesn’t have to be the case. Investing your time with others is incredibly valuable, and also necessary !!

We are never fulfilled when we only have pass-by conversations. We feel that something is missing because we can’t keep current with the pace. We don’t push through it enough because we’re concerned that the other person won’t reciprocate. I haven’t found that to be the case. In fact, I think people flourish when you give them your intentional time and attention.

I’d like to propose a different approach for you personally and especially if you’re in HR. Choose to have relationships that flourish !!

I think there are different gradients in this and you need to read the other person to see when they feel that things are full. Respect that. I mean it. Flourishing relationships have balance, mutual levels of input and especially authenticity. You can’t “fake it to  you make it” and have a meaningful friendship.

I’ve mentioned this in the past, but I use my commute differently than most. I’m in the car about an hour each way to and from work. Every night I call people and have long conversations. We talk about work, HR, life, etc. There are inevitable times of laughter as well as times of deep philosophy. We may argue various styles of music and ask for each other’s support in the situations we are each facing in life.

The point is this. I want to pour into their lives so that they will pour into the lives of others !! I know that every moment I can invest in the lives of others that they will invest in others as well. When this happens, then lives improve. When lives improve, relationships improve. And, when relationships improve that grows into other relationships to improve the workplace. This isn’t Utopian. It works.

So, this week in the midst of the pass-by snippets of conversation that will still fly around you, invest in someone. Start with a close friend. Make that relationship flourish and then build from there. You’ll be glad you did !!

Be Good

A few weeks ago I received a nondescript envelope in the mail at work. It was from my dear friend, Brad Galin, who also happens to be in HR. Inside the envelope was a small scrap of paper and a sticker. The note said, “Saw this and thought of you. – Brad” I looked at the sticker and smiled.

A small black circle with a positive message that fit in the palm of my hand stated – Be Good to People.

It’s a simple message. Four words that carry incredible weight and meaning.

It’s interesting that there’s an entire company that produces this message on a variety of products. (You should check them out !! – Be Good To People) Their whole mission is to spread this message in many different ways so that we all have a visible reminder. They want to see kindness be a constant in our lives and our society.

So, you need to ask – Why would we need this reminder? Unfortunately, it’s necessary because the majority of all that we see, consume and share isn’t good. I appreciate people speaking out against wrongs and ills that are happening in our workplaces, our neighborhoods, our cities and our country. It just seems that we’re constantly in some form of battle that pits people against each other. It’s exhausting and disheartening.

It’s also ironic when someone brings up a simple solution such as “be good,” the response is a scoff and skepticism. Now, THIS is something worth challenging. I’m an unapologetic optimist. I believe in humans without having them go through hoops to earn my trust or respect.

I dig that Brad thought of me when he picked up this sticker. I also appreciate that he took the time to reach out and mail it to me. That personal touch is so meaningful and it gives me a framework on how “being good” can work.

Small actions make a huge impact !!

That’s it. Simple. We need to understand that much of human interaction can turn from ugly to positive by small steps that happen on purpose. When you have that first encounter at work or at home tomorrow to start your week, the move is yours. If you are pressed and you feel your face begin to get flushed with your reactive response, breathe and then be good.

The reason this call to action is so difficult is that we need to fight against our inclination to instantly respond and try to solve something. Being good fights against the urge to react and move on. This call asks you to go against the flow of not only what you’re used to doing, but also how others expect you to respond.

What you need to know is that it’s worth the effort. It doesn’t matter what role you hold in your organization. This call isn’t only for HR because we’re the “people” people. Being good is for all people.

This week look for areas where you can take a small step. When you see that opportunity, take it. It will change your day, your week and possibly your life. Remember this – Be good to people.

HR Kaleidoscope !!

This past week I was fortunate to present to my home SHRM chapter the Greater Cincinnati HR Association (GCHRA). It was special to me because this is the place where I “grew up” as an HR professional. They provided the laboratory to get to meet peers in the field, learn and develop HR skills and learn to grow in the role as a volunteer leader. To be asked to come back and now present to the chapter was amazing.

Please note that I never take the opportunity of speaking at HR events for granted. It is something that gives me energy because few things in life get me more geeked than being with other HR peers !! I was also eager to try out a new “personal workshop” based on my book – HR on Purpose !! The reason I was eager was that I was trying out a new concept for attendees.

The concept is this – I think attendees at HR events expect the speaker to wave some magic wand through their presentation and give people black and white takeaways. These takeaways will be perfect when used regardless of the industry or how HR is viewed in their organization. This just isn’t true. If it was, then we’d all need to hear one presentation from one speaker and then all of our challenges would be solved.

The reason this was framed as a personal workshop is that we discussed topics and concepts, and then everyone took time to write down what mattered to them. Here was the next radical move – no one shared what they wrote down !! No one complained or felt on the spot.

I think that every HR practitioner follows many of the same concepts in their role. However, every company is different. Also, HR has to be pliable and morph into different shapes and sizes because people are unique. We can’t keep thinking that the one approach fits all works. It never has and never will. Why ?? Because HR is a kaleidoscope.

Did you ever have a kaleidoscope as a kid? They are one of the coolest toys because no matter how many times you look through them, the pattern is different. It’s a simple toy. Metal tube (the best are made of tin.) Tiny bits of colored plastic enclosed at one end of the tube that move loosely while still being a bit contained. The end of the tube where the colored bits are can be twisted and rotated to make things roll around and give you a new picture. The only other aspect is looking up towards the light so you can catch the different fractals as they move.

This is just how HR is in reality. We need to look to the light (or positive) side of what we do. Then, move things around and we’ll see the colorful bits (our people) move, shift and perform to make new pictures and results.

After the workshop, several people came up and shared that they had been looking at HR the same way for years and years. Having some time to hear a different perspective and then write down some things to act upon reenergized them. They left eager to apply something they learned based on what THEY needed !! It’s not a novel concept, it’s just something we’ve not done.

Going to HR events, chapter meetings and conferences is essential so that you get your batteries recharged and you also meet, and hang out with, your HR compatriots. The key is to twist your kaleidoscope and no longer go just to be motivated and jacked up by a speaker. Try something new and take notes that work for YOU so that you can continue to grow and thrive in all you do !!

I recommend that you do one more thing. Buy a kaleidoscope for yourself and keep in in your workplace as a reminder to keep HR fresh and colorful all the time. I have one that I look at all the time. It works !!